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One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 6:01pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Before you all begin to wonder what I'm up to this time I would like to state clearly that Polygamy is a matter of choice and I'm not promoting polygamy but i want us to have an unbiased and non hypocritical down to earth discussion about this deep and sensitive one man one wife concept. Everyday we see series of prewedding pics,we see pics of a happily married lady with her husband and lovely children and we see ladies gush over their significant other not forgetting those who will threaten fire and brimstone if their hubby ever imagine the possibility of a second wife but I want these ladies to wait and think for a minute about that young widow who is faced with the challenges of being a single parent...about that innocent divorcee whose husband against all odds threw her out...about that mature unmarried single mum that keeps meeting unserious unmarried single men and about that unmarried lady who is probably in her 40s and have had series of heart break from callous single men.... Yes we know that the aforementioned set of ladies could still marry a never married single guy but except we want to fool each other we all know that in most cases if single guys have the choice to make,they would mostly go for single ladies with no child rather than a young widow with children,a young divorcee with children or a single mum. The big question is "Who will marry this set of ladies? I know it will be easy for anyone to quickly say shebi there are widowers, male divorcees with children or even single guys who can still marry them but it is easier to say this if you are not in their shoes. No matter how hard some people go against polygamy,i strongly believe it is the answer to the prayers of some ladies but what can I say in a world where hypocrisy is a norm? a world where a man of 70 celebrates 40years monogamous wedding anniversary with one lady while keeping other children with different mothers outside the same marriage...and a crazy world where even the young married men who sing the "i love my my wife" lyrics will gladly keep side chics... oh I guess it's OK as long as these men are married to one lady...hmmmmm! In my opinion I believe the one man one woman concept is flawed for many reasons...and it is a good thing Islam is not against it neither is the bible asides the "advice" given in the bible to General overseers to be husband of one wife. Conclusively I would leave this topic open for discussion but when next you see a widow with children,a lady divorcee with children or a single mum finding solace in the hands of a married man,before you start judging just wait,close your eyes for a minute and put yourself in their position and ask yourself..."should i continue to wait for single men who hardly want to marry me?, should i remain celibate and continue to burn with passion?, should i just throw caution to the wind and allow different men take advantage of my condition by having flings with me?, or should i gladly allow a married man to have me as a wife as long as he has the finance to take care of his polygamous status? And if you are a married lady reading this...please before you start lashing out at me,wait till you find yourself in such situations. I don't know if this makes sense but I leave it open for you all to discuss. 54 Likes 11 Shares
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Re: One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 6:07pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
I can bet this is one thread that will have large viewers but very few contributors because the topic is very deep. 40 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by Emac34: 6:08pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
it's realistic but not a must cos it depend mostly on the individual 3 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by skywalker240(m): 6:10pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Individual differences plays a part here, but someone who is single @ that age should not be celebated for life if he or she dont want to, so like i said, individual difference, there should be no harm depending on the individual. |
Re: One man, One wife by Nobody: 6:13pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
A widow of marriageable age should find a widower of marriageable age both with children and they should live as man and wife. There are such men if she mingles well, she'll find them. Unmarried ladies at 40 if its not a spiritual or psychic prob, they should hope in God. Pastor kumuyi wife na 65yr old virgin. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 6:13pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Emac34: So how will you answer the question I asked? |
Re: One man, One wife by BiafranBushBoy: 6:18pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Marriage is like being rich. There is money everywhere but not everybody will be rich. When it comes to marriage, not everyone that wishes to marry will marry. But heck I am still a christian, I stick to the principle of "One Man One Wife". 38 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by doubleportion: 6:25pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Monogamy is only practice by Christian, it is not an issue in other religion. Majority of Moslem lady already believed that their suitors marry more wife in the future. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by Emac34: 6:25pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:i stick to the one man one wife policy 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: One man, One wife by Nobody: 6:26pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
I wont encourage a friend to get involved with a married man. If there is one thing i hate most it is Polygamy. The troubles are just too much, There is more to life than 'Marriage'. But then it is her life, if she wants t o who am I to stop her?. ![]() 20 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 6:28pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Alondra: OK so you would tell her to lock up and remain celibate.. Issorite 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by vedah: 6:31pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
No! I wouldn't agree she settles for a man who's already married. Trust me, there are single men who'll still ask for her hand in marriage. That said, I'm not in any position to tell her how she runs her life, if she feels okay to marry this man, why not? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: One man, One wife by Dfinex(f): 6:32pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Nna, one man one wife oo......it's already difficult dealing with a partner and u want to make them two. polygamy comes with so many issues biko... if u are talking about the widows, are there no widowers or even single men around? or are u saying single men don't or shouldn't marry widows? 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: One man, One wife by Nobody: 6:34pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
It's better to stay single and play around than to make vows to a Lady and not keep them As for the Lady in question, polygamy can be very bothersome. Saying No will do in this situation has more advantages than disadvantages 10 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Thecassanova: 6:38pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Nice topic Op 20 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 6:42pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Dfinex: Interesting...so a widow at her late 30s or in her 40s should wait for a single guy or find a widower.... 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by Dfinex(f): 6:54pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008: can't u marry a widow? or have they suddenly become leftovers only good enough for married men? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 7:03pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Dfinex: It's not about a single man marrying widow but the question is how many men are single at 40? not forgetting that the dingle ones would readily go for single ladies of younger ages. 2 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 7:05pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Thecassanova: Very very deep. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by Thecassanova: 7:11pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Dfinex:So u can allow your brother of 30 to marry a 38yrs old widow? Let's be realistic here. The only men available are either widow too or married. Simple. 2 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by dingbang(m): 7:12pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Sex is getting better.... 3 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Dfinex(f): 7:18pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Thecassanova: wait a second, where did u get that statistics from? ? and may I inform u that a 30/38 year old is an adult and as such can make decisions for themselves. whatever is wrong with getting married with an older woman. ...what's with the prejudice? 4 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Nobody: 7:22pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
if a woman in that age bracket and in that situation ask me for such advice, I will only tell her to use her discretion. the question now is, what if she married the man who is already married and never enjoyed the marriage with him? there are so many windows that are doing fine without the help of any man in this context. 5 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Dfinex(f): 7:22pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008: now we are getting somewhere. how about we disabusing our minds of this oddity : which is single guys thinking they must get married to single younger women? 3 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Thecassanova: 7:39pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Dfinex:K 8 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Nobody: 7:43pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:Thank God you know how deep it is. |
Re: One man, One wife by Dfinex(f): 8:15pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Thecassanova: firstly i may not be able to answer question number one because it's supposed to be personal choices which how ever we all know is majorly based on societal influences....however if we are to look at it without prejudice, do u marry a woman solely because she is single? are there no other attributes to judge from? are widowers also made to face this stigma (I chose to call it so) or is it an exclusive preserve for women?.....why are we having guys clamouring for polygamy while polyandry is frowned at? secondly, need I inform u that as at today in Nigeria the population of men to women is in excess of 3million in favor of men (Google can help u). so my dear there is no scarcity of men as against what we are made to believe . if a widow or a single woman decides to become a second wife it should be based on personal conviction and not because the society says there is a dearth of men 11 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by firstking01(m): 9:05pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:First of all....NO widow should marry a married man, i'm sure you know the reasons... Secondly, every widow is biblically legible to re-marry, BUT NOT a man who is married... Thirdly, every widow should WAIT for a single guy or a widower to come woo her and marry her... Aside from the reasons i 've given above you will be committing adultery.. I drop my pen at this junction. 13 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: One man, One wife by firstking01(m): 9:08pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:The topic is not deep...it's very simple if you know the rules governing marriage and divorce. 8 Likes |
Re: One man, One wife by Kobicove(m): 5:02pm On Jan 08, 2017 |
RadicallyBlunt: That a lady is single at 40 has nothing to do with spiritual or psychic problems! 1 Like |
Re: One man, One wife by Nobody: 5:23pm On Jan 08, 2017 |
Kobicove:That's what you think. Spiritual can't be seen physically let alone uunderstood physically. Psychic does not mean madness. Being a feminist alone is psychic. If its non of these, then its the lady's choice 1 Like |
Re: One man, One wife by Toks2008(m): 9:44pm On Jan 08, 2017 |
. I guess it's insightful. |
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