hello nairalanders. let me go straight to the point.

i met a guy online and we started talking for about a month before we finally saw. i feel in love with him even before we met. i had this strong connection with him. he told me somethings about his life including the fact that he limbs while walking but i dint really think it was bad because the pictures of him i saw didn't reflect the real leg. one leg is shorter than the other as a result of polio he had when he was a kid. anyway his good personality made me overlook the leg. He is such a gentleman, he treats me like a queen.after sometime he visited my parents and when my parents saw him, my mum called me into the room and started crying that why do i want to make her a laughing stock among her friends that out of all the men in this world,i brought someone with a deformed leg. that do i know the shame i will go through if i marry him. I told her i love the guy and that the accident that affected his leg would have happened to anyone and that i cant disqualify him just because of something that he had no power over when he has every other quality i look out for in a man. she answered me that if i was the one with such a leg, he wouldnt have wanted to marry me. that it is better he married someone with a disability too so that both of them can understand each other because according to her, those with physical deformities always have esteem issues and that will affect the relationship. well, i feel very bad right now. he is such a perfect guy except for the leg deformity, he walks around well and even drives a car. has a good career and good character. should i accept my mothers advise and break up with him or should i continue his relationship. please i need advise from people who have had similar concerns.

MOD, front page pleaseeeeeeeee. i need the right people to see this.

My dear, your mum doesn't want you to marry the guy because she'll become a laughing stock?
Its her marriage not yours. Let her understand your feelings because your mum's blessing is very vital. Maybe you should talk to someone your mum respects very much probably her brother or friend. Uhmm op is it only your mum that is complaining or your dad too?

Op your mum is right about the esteem part. Most people with deformities suffer from low self esteem. Hope you're ready? Cos the road won't be smooth.

makydee:
.

she took my space already....isnur gud oo

What You need to understand before marrying him is that these kind of discrimination and stigmatization will always be there. You should own up to the fact that the journey isnt going to be smooth at all. There will be criticism, insult and ridicule but if truly you love this guy and he loves you back you will stand the test of time. Trust me Love covereth all.

Lalasticlala

BluntMadmoiselle:
she took my space already....isnur gud oo

I saw you viewing and I knew I had to take it

makydee:
I saw you viewing and I knew I had to take it

Weeked geh

makydee:
My dear, your mum doesn't want you to marry the guy because she'll become a laughing stock?
Its her marriage not yours. Let her understand your feelings because your mum's blessing is very vital. Maybe you should talk to someone your mum respects very much probably her brother or friend. Uhmm op is it only your mum that is complaining or your dad too?

okay. thank you. just mum is worried.

makydee:
I saw you viewing and I knew I had to take it

lol

BluntMadmoiselle:
she took my space already....isnur gud oo

then create your own topic and occupy the first space na

whitepump:


okay. thank you. just mum is worried.

You can talk to daddy, let him make mum understand


Lalasticlala

Lionbite:
then create your own topic and occupy the first space na

Bros, what's ur concern na??

makydee:
You can talk to daddy, let him make mum understand


Lalasticlala

ok

BluntMadmoiselle:


Weeked geh

Singing** "love no be seresere oo...marriage no be beans ee"

Before you take any decision, think about what you have for him. You want him to be your everlasting companion abi?? U wanna marry him, think of it deeply. Are you ready to face the criticism you might likely to face wen you guys get married?? (I'm not trying to discourage you but I like it when people think beyond the present). I hope his love in your heart won't vanish after you guys are in(married) after about few years. My dear, give yourself enough time to think and make the right decision. Ask yourself questions and think deeply before you answer. May the Lord help you.

Modified

Sometimes, you have another reason for loving him but you hide under the umbrella of "I feel true love for him" whereas, his possession of something made you stay. If you fall under this category, you should ask yourself " what if the thing is no more, will your love remain unchanging and undying for him??"

BluntMadmoiselle:
Singing** "love no be seresere oo...marriage no be beans ee"

Before you take any decision, think about what you have for him. You want him to be your everlasting companion abi?? U wanna marry him, think of it deeply. Are you ready to face the criticism you might likely to face wen you guys get married?? (I'm not trying to discourage you but I like it when people think beyond the present). I hope his love in your heart won't vanish after you guys are in(married) after about few years. My dear, give yourself enough time to think and make the right decision. Ask yourself questions and think deeply before you answer. May the Lord help you.

I'll modify later

ok thanks.

BluntMadmoiselle:
Singing** "love no be seresere oo...marriage no be beans ee"

Before you take any decision, think about what you have for him. You want him to be your everlasting companion abi?? U wanna marry him, think of it deeply. Are you ready to face the criticism you might likely to face wen you guys get married?? (I'm not trying to discourage you but I like it when people think beyond the present). I hope his love in your heart won't vanish after you guys are in(married) after about few years. My dear, give yourself enough time to think and make the right decision. Ask yourself questions and think deeply before you answer. May the Lord help you.

Modified

Sometimes, you have another reason for loving him but you hide under the umbrella of "I feel true love for him" whereas, his possession of something made you stay. If you fall under this category, you should ask yourself " what if the thing is no more, will your love remain unchanging and undying for him??"

wow...thumbs up!

BluntMadmoiselle:
Singing** "love no be seresere oo...marriage no be beans ee"

Before you take any decision, think about what you have for him. You want him to be your everlasting companion abi?? U wanna marry him, think of it deeply. Are you ready to face the criticism you might likely to face wen you guys get married?? (I'm not trying to discourage you but I like it when people think beyond the present). I hope his love in your heart won't vanish after you guys are in(married) after about few years. My dear, give yourself enough time to think and make the right decision. Ask yourself questions and think deeply before you answer. May the Lord help you.

Modified

Sometimes, you have another reason for loving him but you hide under the umbrella of "I feel true love for him" whereas, his possession of something made you stay. If you fall under this category, you should ask yourself " what if the thing is no more, will your love remain unchanging and undying for him??"

well, am not with him for anything. i have a very well paying job, and he is not wealthy, he just have enough for himself and his family. i believe that people should be loved inspite of their disability. they are human beings too and they didnt choose their fate. i love him for who he is.

whitepump:
hello nairalanders. let me go straight to the point.

i met a guy online and we started talking for about a month before we finally saw. i feel in love with him even before we met. i had this strong connection with him. he told me somethings about his life including the fact that he limbs while walking but i dint really think it was bad because the pictures of him i saw didn't reflect the real leg. one leg is shorter than the other as a result of polio he had when he was a kid. anyway his good personality made me overlook the leg though i use to feel ashamed before but over time, i have gotten use to it. after sometime he visited my parents and when my parents saw him, my mum called me into the room and started crying that why do i want to make her a laughing stock among her friends that out of all the men in this world,i brought someone with a deformed leg. that do i know the shame i will go through if i marry him. i told her i love the guy and that the accident that affected his leg would have happened to anyone. and that i cant disqualify him just because of something that he had no power over when he has every other quality i look out for in a man. she answered me that if i was the one with such a leg, he wouldnt have wanted to marry me. that it is better he married someone with a disability too so that both of them can understand each other because according to her, those with physical deformities always have esteem issues and that will affect the relationship. well, i feel very bad right now. he is such a perfect guy except for the leg deformity, he walks around well and even drives a car. has a good career and good character. should i accept my mothers advise and break up with him or should i continue his relationship. please i need advise from people who have had similar concerns.

MOD, front page pleaseeeeeeeee. i need the right people to see this.

never let anybody's advise determine your future. If you make a wrong decision be ready to face the consequences like a person with inner strength and character. Following other people's decisions will only allow you assign blame when shiit hits the fan.

you need to know whether you really love the guy or whether you love his character...or his career. Marriage is not dabbled into by considering only one factor. Nobody is perfect, so ask yourself if you can tolerate his imperfections and if he can tolerate yours. (you have to think for your partner too)
I'm quite sure that his leg isn't the only thing wrong with him. Nobody is that close to perfection.
So, consider all you've learned about him deeply. And if you can't find anything else you don't especially like, I sorry to say that you don't know him well enough for marriage.

whitepump:


well, am not with him for anything. i have a very well paying job, and he is not wealthy, he just have enough for himself and his family. i believe that people should be loved inspite of their disability. they are human beings too and they didnt choose their fate. i love him for who he is.

If that's the Case, go for wat u want. Good luck

DeLioncourt:


never let anybody's advise determine your future. If you make a wrong decision be ready to face the consequences like a person with inner strength and character. Following other people's decisions will only allow you assign blame when shiit hits the fan.

you need to know whether you really love the guy or whether you love his character...or his career. Marriage is not dabbled into by considering only one factor. Nobody is perfect, so ask yourself if you can tolerate his imperfections and if he can tolerate yours. (you have to think for your partner too)
I'm quite sure that his leg isn't the only thing wrong with him. Nobody is that close to perfection.
So, consider all you've learned about him deeply. And if you can't find anything else you don't especially like, I sorry to say that you don't know him well enough for marriage.

okay

DeLioncourt:


never let anybody's advise determine your future. If you make a wrong decision be ready to face the consequences like a person with inner strength and character. Following other people's decisions will only allow you assign blame when shiit hits the fan.

you need to know whether you really love the guy or whether you love his character...or his career. Marriage is not dabbled into by considering only one factor. Nobody is perfect, so ask yourself if you can tolerate his imperfections and if he can tolerate yours. (you have to think for your partner too)
I'm quite sure that his leg isn't the only thing wrong with him. Nobody is that close to perfection.
So, consider all you've learned about him deeply. And if you can't find anything else you don't especially like, I sorry to say that you don't know him well enough for marriage.

Ok,thank you.

And you are worried for this common thing, mothers must complain, they would complain about money, tribe, looks, religion, decency even respect! I recall a mother complain that she would not allow her daughter marry a guy because she was his teacher is primary school and the guy used to fail math's! Lolz........ Just imagine. So op, leave ur mom, she z just concern and a bit over exaggerating, aside from that, that's what they do! that's y they are mothers. Very soon, when she begin receive alert she go begin claim "inlaw" lolz...... #ilovenaijamoms.

darbeelicous:
And you are worried for this common thing, mothers must complain, they would complain about money, tribe, looks, religion, decency even respect! I recall a mother complain that she would not allow her daughter marry a guy because she was his teacher is primary school and the guy used to fail math's! Lolz........ Just imagine. So op, leave ur mom, she z just concern and a bit over exaggerating, aside from that, that's what they do! that's y they are mothers. Very soon, when she begin receive alert she go begin claim "inlaw" lolz...... #ilovenaijamoms.

Lol

My sister , go ahead and marry him ,don't listen to.your mom. Because those handsome men and we'll presentable men are the ones that cheat alot.as for me I'm a man .I have BSc and masters but to be sincere with you I don't want to marry a graduate. I want to marry a girl with ssce certificate that will truly love me.don't ever listen to what people are saying.husband is very scarce not to talk of a genuine man

Your mum is just worried
Think about it yourself,'what do I want?','can I be with him?' and lastly 'do I love him enough even for both?'

Do not deceive yourself while answering them

Escabado:
My sister , go ahead and marry him ,don't listen to.your mom. Because those handsome men and we'll presentable men are the ones that cheat alot.as for me I'm a man .I have BSc and masters but to be sincere with you I don't want to marry a graduate. I want to marry a girl with ssce certificate that will truly love me.don't ever listen to what people are saying.husband is very scarce not to talk of a genuine man

wow! thank you.

Important people never live on other people's opinion (that doesn't mean that they don't seek and listen to advice) - for s/he that lives on other people's opinion is as good as a dead person. Only petty people are feeble-minded.

Go ahead to marry him so long as you're certain that you aren't acting on impulse or pity. His deformity wasn't his making, so he deserves to be loved and cared for like every other human being. What makes a person sophisticated is his/her good attributes.

Superficiality is for petty (inconsequential) people.

Op, is he ur mum's fiance/husband to be?
If she want it, she can comman collect it....... (In don jazzy's voice)



Seriously mothers or fathers in most cases always have something to complain about.
You are d one to search urself how truly prepared you are for d marriage(psychologically, criticism, when chips are down etc) and not the wedding. If u can answer this and ready not to be moved, stand by ur decision(shows how independent u are). It is only a matter of time, she would surrender.

Parents should forget influencing decisions of their children on marriage. We aren't in stone age anymore. They should rather stand as a guider(not that of mmm) or counsellor.

whitepump:


well, am not with him for anything. i have a very well paying job, and he is not wealthy, he just have enough for himself and his family. i believe that people should be loved inspite of their disability. they are human beings too and they didnt choose their fate. i love him for who he is.

Awww that's nice and humane of you. True love is a beautiful thing. Sighs, try talk to someone your mum respects and let the person convince your mum that all will be well and we can't live our lives in the microscope of the society, everytime.
People with deformities have a right to live a happy life too. Follow your heart but make sure u convince your mum to see reason with you.
You will be the one to stay with him all the rest of your life. So your mum should take it easy and support you.. Cause that's all u need from her and your family.
It's well.



I know of a couple the man is crippled, assigned to a wheel chair, he's happily. Married to a tall beautiful lady and all his kids school abroad. This man is so soft towards his wife.. The wife travels four times a year to see them.. My dear even me sef I bow for the marriage.. See able bodied men calling the guy boss and presenting him with papers and files of what happened in his businesses.. My dear Abeg follow your heart. Your happiness is all that matters.

During my I.T days, I met a handsome guy so cute that came to our office. He sat down talking to the secretary and I couldn't help but view him sideways. Nice smile, dark chocolate, tall.

we spoke, laughed, until he got up to leave and I saw he limps. It was so obvious, no way nobody couldn't see it.

I felt sorry for him sha, he drives and seemed well to do. He limps like someone who got a nail under his leg and that leg is smaller than the other one.

But he's nice though, his condition doesn't bother him. If you love your guy o.p marry him, people like that love dearly.