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My Desire To Marry Myself by tobechi74: 10:47am On Jan 21, 2017 |
story of my desire to practice self-marriage Ijeoma had just broken up with me. she is the tenth girl I had dated in three years. They all left me for the same reason. I am so self centered. Ijeoma birthday was the previous day . I neither called her nor sent her a text message. I forget everyones birthday except mine. i am so obsessed with myself. Maintaining a relationship seems to be hardwork for me. I rarely pick up the phone to make a call them except i need help. I kept wandering whether to begin yet another hunt for a new patner. Just then an idea crept into my head. May be I was not born to get married to another. I was created get married to my self. I spent the entire day thinking of how the weddin would be.Would I dress in a suit or bridal gown since i am both the bride and the groom? would i kiss myself when the pastor says you may kiss the bride? may be i should go tell the pastor my intention to seek his approval. I |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by thorpido(m): 11:07am On Jan 21, 2017 |
Narcissism.That's what it's called. |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by Nobody: 11:50am On Jan 21, 2017 |
You need help. |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by bennyrazz: 1:26pm On Jan 21, 2017 |
this is how madness usually start. @op, take heed, bind and cast out those evil thoughts, don't allow the devil use you 1 Like |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by Nobody: 1:59pm On Jan 21, 2017 |
lol.
|
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by Nobody: 2:28pm On Jan 21, 2017 |
Lol.. This guy don kolo finish. May God help u and set u free.. Amen |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by mumumugu(m): 11:27am On Jan 22, 2017 |
T |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by mumumugu(m): 11:27am On Jan 22, 2017 |
U2 |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by jashar(f): 5:55pm On Jan 22, 2017 |
You've identified yourself as a selfish person and yet no desire to change. Maka why? You need help bro... |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by datyrone(m): 6:02pm On Jan 22, 2017 |
eleya gidi gan....oti ya werey |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by tobechi74: 12:52am On Jan 23, 2017 |
tobechi74: the church to see pastor . I tabled my intention before him. we spent two hours debating on the issue. I dared him to show me verses where the bible frowns at self-marriage. he could only show me verses where the bible frowns at incest and same-sex union. After searching in vain, he gave up. “have your parent given their consent,? he asked with his eyes looking at me. I didnt see that coming ” em em , i havent told them yet'” i managed to say trying hard not to lie to the man of God ” i need their consent before we could proceed ” with that i left the church. I remembered my parents had banned me from ever visiting them except i was accompanied by my wife to be. they desperately need their only son to get married and bear them a grand child. convincing them of my intention is harder than putting a camel through the eyes of a needle. would they accept child adoption. Using a bible would be a waste of time since they are traditionalist |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by tobechi74: 12:03pm On Jan 23, 2017 |
village the
next day. Mama didnt even let
me inside the house before
saying
“nwam, you are not entering
this house till you show us
your fiancee” she said as she
tried closing the door.
”no mama, i am getting
married,” i said,
the door swung wide open. i
was now wellcomed home.
my mum danced and danced
while praising GOD in our
local dialet.daddy walked into
the parlour .mummy
announced the good news to
him.
” where is she” dad asked.
daddy never belives anything
easily. .
”em..em.., i am getting
married to myself. i am my
wife” i managed to say
without caring how it sounds
mama stoped dancing. she
stopped gazing her eyeballs
at me.she couldnt believe
what she heard. i showed
papa magazines of americans
who were currently married
to themselves and how they
are hapily married.
”our son has gone mad”
mama screamed, loud. i tried
to console her before she
attracts the neigbours. daddy
quietly walked out holding
his first finger on his mouth.
mummy screams gradualy
turned into tears. i wondered
how my happy news could
make her cry.i wiped her
tears using the white
handkerchief from my back
pocket. daddy finally came
back accompanied by four
hefty men. they should be
representing nigeria in world
wrestling championship.
”grab him” dad ordered. his
fingers pointing towards my
direction.
before i could say a word, i
was lifted up weightlesly.
” lock the door and come
with us, lets go find a cure for
our son’s madness” papa
said refering to mama.
with that we left. i w |
Re: My Desire To Marry Myself by tobechi74: 4:31am On Jan 24, 2017 |
at we left. i wished the
force of gravity could pull me
down. we passed through
thick forest until we finally
came to a halt. i was dropped
to the ground and tied to a
nearby palm tree. an elderly
man appeared with white
marks on his face.he held a
horn on his left hand . i had
been taken to a native doctor
to cure my madnes. the native
doctor placed the horn on my
forehead while saying
incantantion in igbo dialet. he
popped the requirement – a
bottle of shinap, allegator
pepper, a white fowl, a 3yr
old he-male goat and 4 pieces
of kolanut. i was to be taken
to the village otammiri river
naked for 3-day spiritual
cleansing and would be
flogged 50 strokes of the
cane.
on hearing ’50 strokes of the
cane”, i had to get out of the
mess i got myself into
” i am not mad ooo, i was
only joking. i am not marrying
myself ” i screamed. no one
belived me. i had to say
something more to convince
them.
”check my phone, you would
see picture of my fiancee” i
yelled once again.i had to lie
about marrying myself
because you didnt even let
me have a seat before
throwing in the marriage
question.”
This got their attention.
mummy picked my phone
from my pocket and saw the
pictures of me and my ex -
Ijeoma holding each other.
Thank god she didnt go
through my inbox to see the
break up message.
it worked. i was untied . I
was finally declared normal. i
left the village in
anoyance.that was how my
desire to get married to
myself was buried foreve |
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