I am a stay at home mom, for now. I was laid off from a teaching job while pregnant and decided to use this time to care for our 8months son. In the beginning there was never an issue with one persons money being his or hers it was always ours.

Now after a year and a half anything I spend becomes an issue. When we talk about money he talks about working his a.s.s off, having nothing to show for it, because I'm spending HIS money.

Surprisingly, I don't even shop. Every once in a while I may purchase something for the home or something our kid need. I'm almost tempted to go on back to work, but I would like to stay out one more year until our son is of preschool age. I don't know if I will be able to make it that long.

It just seems like when you become a stay at home mom and don't earn an income you become less than, not equal, and nothing is truly yours because you didn't earn it. Just because we are at home doesn't mean we don't work, we just don't get paid for it.

My sister, 1yr and half? it's Buhari's economy.
Everyone is getting worked up, we're not getting value for our money and hardwork.

---

We should be more bothered 'bout how you can make some money, while still having time for you baby.

1)Like someone said, you can put your teaching experience in use.
Do tutorials in your house and charge 'responsibly'.

2)You can venture into babysitting, that's if you have working class nursing mothers in your circle (e.g) family friends, ex colleagues, your husband's colleagues...etc

3)Are you a good cook? A friend resigned from **** bank last year, some of our 'clique' thought and still think it's a stupid decision. Since bankers are known to be busy people, she started doing foodstuff shopping for ex colleagues, she also prepares meals for them. Recently she delved into small scale catering. Trust me she's doing 'better off'.
Now, she has been disturbing me to partner with her in a restaurant biz...lols.

3b)You can also make those well packaged chinchin, hubby should be nice enough to market in his office, while you search for other customers.

4)Baby girls are trendy, so_ get creative, draw up designs, source for materials and make simple gowns ,head bands and turbans. You'll have to partner with a relatively cheap tailor. Identify your target market and sell_ you can't go wrong with immunisation centres. ^^^I do this when I have much time.

Modified: it seems you really want us to blame the man, and we have refused...lols. Okay, his money is una money, but you have a better idea of what he earns_ less the incessant hike in prices of recurrent expenditure from it and you'll understand why he is angry.
Have you bothered to ask what he thinks he should have achieved? Maybe he planned buying a land in 2016, this is 2017, no land-no savings. Men naturally get angry when they are not meeting their target.

I didn't advise you to jump back into teaching because the average teaching jobs doesn't pay that much. It may not give your family's financial condition the required boost. There are so many things you can do from home to earn better than the average teacher. If you really want a career in teaching, you can do certification(s) while at home, that way...you'll be relevant upon your return.

Put yourself to use and get a sidehustle.

airminem:
When we talk about money he talks about working his a.s.s off, having nothing to show for it

Ahn ahn, does the kid not belong to both of you? I wonder why some Men are behaving this way.

But you sef, you stayed at home for too long, 6 months maternity is OK. Go back & look for a paying job & make yourself useful.

airminem:
but I would like to stay out one more year until our son is of preschool age.

Biko nu, let your mum stay with your kid. Go back to work, economy is not smiling at anyone !

I have a friend, she's a teacher as well..she was laid off from her job too & the worse she's a single mom but it doesn't stopped her there.. She set up a tutorial class in her house..
U can do that as well or try to venture in small biznez if ur into it..
Most Men nowadays, they don't value how hard to be a full time mother.

PaperLace:
My sister, 1yr and half? it's Buhari's economy.
Everyone is getting worked up, we're not getting value for our money and hardwork.

---

We should be more bothered 'bout how you can make some money, while still having time for you baby.

This is the best advice so far.

No matter how you put the money you are spending into good use, he is still feeling the impact of depleting pocket which I believe is making him to act the way he does. And please, jettison the idea of one family - one purse. It doesnt really work like that.

I don't know how financially stable you husband is, but you really need to fashion out how u can be making some income. You may seek the help of a good nanny.

On my view,u are kind of angry at ur husband dat he does not care enough for u and ur child which both of u produce.He does but the economy is really affecting him seriously,am nt living in ur house so i don't knw if he talked to u abt it before acting dat.if am d one i will call u and discuss it wit u and if u refused to listen den i act,u can still go back to ur teaching job and enrol ur son in d sch creche.
Think deep abt it

Biko, you have tried. Enough of being a stay at home mother. Dust your papers and go look for job. Let the next worry you guys do together becomes getting competence hands to do the plenty nothings you were doing while 'sitting' at home. At least, he would pay for a nanny and a house keeper! Ungrateful lot!

Nothing beats earning one's own income though.

airminem:
I am a stay at home mom, for now. I was laid off from a teaching job while pregnant and decided to use this time to care for our 8months son. In the beginning there was never an issue with one persons money being his or hers it was always ours. Now after a year and a half anything I spend becomes an issue. When we talk about money he talks about working his a.s.s off, having nothing to show for it, because I'm spending HIS money. Surprisingly, I don't even shop. Every once in a while I may purchase something for the home or something our kid need. I'm almost tempted to o on back to work, but I would like to stay out one more year until our son is of preschool age. I don't know if I will be able to make it that long. It just seems like when you become a stay at home mom and don't earn an income you become less than, not equal, and nothing is truly yours because you didn't earn it. Just because we are at home doesn't mean we don't work, we just don't get paid for it.

What is stopping you right now from getting back into the teaching profession?

crackhaus:

What is stopping you right now from getting back into the teaching profession?

I think it should be OUR money regardless if both parties are working or not. I totally understand where you're coming from and am also looking to the answers people respond with.

It should be joint money but the guy is feeling stressed. It's not easy and it has a way of skewing one's mentality. My suggestion is for you to get back to work. What if you get pregnant again before resuming, will you stay another 2 years out of work? There are women that resume once the baby is 2/3 months.

He needs you to get a job and contribute.
He probably doesn't earn much from what I see and he's upset that he can barely save.

so, get a job.

airminem:


I think it should be OUR money regardless if both parties are working or not. I totally understand where you're coming from and am also looking to the answers people respond with.

Why are you seeing this from "his money, our money" thing?
its just talk from a tired man.

The issue you should focus on is the family eating deep into his finances and he can barely save.

Have you taken into consideration how much he earns?

Do you know how frustrating it is working and having little to zero savings

airminem:
I am a stay at home mom, for now. I was laid off from a teaching job while pregnant and decided to use this time to care for our 8months son. In the beginning there was never an issue with one persons money being his or hers it was always ours. Now after a year and a half anything I spend becomes an issue. When we talk about money he talks about working his a.s.s off, having nothing to show for it, because I'm spending HIS money. Surprisingly, I don't even shop. Every once in a while I may purchase something for the home or something our kid need. I'm almost tempted to o on back to work, but I would like to stay out one more year until our son is of preschool age. I don't know if I will be able to make it that long. It just seems like when you become a stay at home mom and don't earn an income you become less than, not equal, and nothing is truly yours because you didn't earn it. Just because we are at home doesn't mean we don't work, we just don't get paid for it.

There's this stuff called Prepclass where you can create course material and people can pay to subscribe for it. You can look it up. If I have more information I will share. I think your husband is just getting cranky about work and the economy.

Joavid:


Why are you seeing this from "his money, our money" thing?
its just talk from a tired man.

The issue you should focus on is the family eating deep into his finances and he can barely save.

Have you taken into consideration how much he earns?

Do you know how frustrating it is working and having little to zero savings

So depressing have to do extra aide jobs just to save

Joavid:


Why are you seeing this from "his money, our money" thing?
its just talk from a tired man.

The issue you should focus on is the family eating deep into his finances and he can barely save.

Have you taken into consideration how much he earns?

Do you know how frustrating it is working and having little to zero savings

Maybe It's not so much that it's "his" money as that there really isn't enough for him to be comfortable. Is that what you say?

airminem:


Maybe It's not so much that it's "his" money as that there really isn't enough for him to be comfortable. Is that what you say?

you don't get it.

Joavid:


you don't get it.

Sometimes Men Just Don't Get The Fact We Are Workin At Home... We Just Don't Get A Paycheck For It, Okay.

What everyone above said is valuable.You need to find a source of income.Maybe your MIL or your mum can help out.
Your husband is frustrated and the economy is not smiling.He however is just not matured enough to discuss with you rather than saying things like 'it's my money'.

airminem:


Sometimes Men Just Don't Get The Fact We Are Workin At Home... We Just Don't Get A Paycheck For It, Okay.

No one begged you to be a mum.

No one said being a mum would be easy.

We have working mum's everywhere.

If you're waiting for your hubby to give you credit for being a mum, you might not get it.


ok, maybe you're not feeling appreciated, I'm sorry about that. you can discuss your feelings with him.

Joavid:


No one begged you to be a mum.

No one said being a mum would be easy.

We have working mum's everywhere.

If you're waiting for your hubby to give you credit for being a mum, you might not get it.


ok, maybe you're not feeling appreciated, I'm sorry about that. you can discuss your feelings with him.

SURE

pcguru1:


There's this stuff called Prepclass where you can create course material and people can pay to subscribe for it. You can look it up. If I have more information I will share. I think your husband is just getting cranky about work and the economy.

Helpful. Thanks

Joavid:


No one begged you to be a mum.

No one said being a mum would be easy.

We have working mum's everywhere.

If you're waiting for your hubby to give you credit for being a mum, you might not get it.


ok, maybe you're not feeling appreciated, I'm sorry about that. you can discuss your feelings with him.

Outcome Of Our Previous Discus ~ He Says That's His Money So He Should Knw What He Does Wit It And The Day I Work Then I Can Claim My Own Money. This Is So Hard To Deal With. Thanks Though

Madam op...the economy z not friendly.you don't have to wait that long before getting another job.you ve to assist the dude in sharing responsibilities.when I had my first child...she was 3month old wen I resumed doing my Xtra moral classes and I was also employed in another school.

I am currently preggy with my second baby,with my big belly I still do my Xtra moral classes and also teaching.

You hav to be productive.you can enrol your baby into the schoo creche and do your thing.

pcguru1:


There's this stuff called Prepclass where you can create course material and people can pay to subscribe for it. You can look it up. If I have more information I will share. I think your husband is just getting cranky about work and the economy.

Pls ayam interested on the prepclass stuff.

ahnie:
Madam op...the economy z not friendly.you don't have to wait that long before getting another job.you ve to assist the dude in sharing responsibilities.when I had my first child...she was 3month old wen I resumed doing my Xtra moral classes and I was also employed in another school.

I am currently preggy with my second baby,with my big belly I still do my Xtra moral classes and also teaching.

You hav to be productive.you can enrol your baby into the schoo creche and do your thing.

Wow, Wish You A Safe Delivery.
Thanks And Much Relieve

Ephort:


This is the best advice so far.

No matter how you put the money you are spending into good use, he is still feeling the impact of depleting pocket which I believe is making him to act the way he does. And please, jettison the idea of one family - one purse. It doesnt really work like that.

I don't know how financially stable you husband is, but you really need to fashion out how u can be making some income. You may seek the help of a good nanny.

Well said.
In the past, it would have been so easy for women to play the caregiving role, while the man plays the provider role. It was the pragmatic thing to do then and it worked for them.

Now, jungle done mature. Things are not easy...everyone has to hustle.

PaperLace:

Well said.
In the past, it would have been so easy for women the play their caregiving role, while the man plays the provider role. It was the pragmatic thing to do then and it worked for them.

Now, jungle done mature. Things are not easy...everyone has to hustle.

You need to get a job ASAP, things are hard and no married man wants a liability. Your husband is indirectly telling you to find something doing to support him financially. You need to be supportive cos the economy is in recession.

airminem:


I think it should be OUR money regardless if both parties are working or not. I totally understand where you're coming from and am also looking to the answers people respond with.

Lailai, it can never be OUR money when the other party is contributing nothing to it. That's the fact. It's his money and he has every right to be worried about how it's being spent. Haba, put yourself in his shoes now, economy is not smiling. Get back to your grind and contribute, even if it's a little, then it gets back to being OUR money.

InformedLola:


Lailai, it can never be OUR money when the other party is contributing nothing to it. That's the fact. It's his money and he has every right to be worried about how it's being spent. Haba, put yourself in his shoes now, economy is not smiling. Get back to your grind and contribute, even if it's a little, then it gets back to being OUR money.

Dear Sister, A Intend To Resume Work Very Soon Sha.
Thanks

Joavid:
He needs you to get a job and contribute.
He probably doesn't earn much from what I see and he's upset that he can barely save.

so, get a job.

@bold:

100% on point.

Your husband doesn't appreciate 'sacrifice' of staying at home because that's not what he 'needs'.

I bet you didn't even discuss with him before deciding to take a break and stay at home.

Get a source of income & you both start worrying how to have time for your son; afterall, you both own him.