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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed (7278 Views)
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13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 7:17am On Jan 27, 2017 |
No d!ck is created equal. They come in different shapes and sizes, and below we give you a peek into some types of Pen.!ses that you may encounter. The Pen!s is such a mysterious, magnificent thing. While it can have a boner, it doesn’t really have any bone in it. And while people can say some guys think with their d!cks, their d!cks often seem to really have a mind of their own. This elongated lump of skin, muscle, veins, and blood have, throughout time, given pleasure to all of mankind. Depending on how it fits in the underpants, the Pen!s can boast a lot of shapes and sizes. If you’re a lady who has seen your share of schlong, you’ll know that there’s more to a Pen!s type than just left, right and center. Each has a different look, feel, and—yes—behavior. They have different ways of pleasing you, too. Some can take you by surprise, while some can leave you taken aback *and not in a good way*. The next time you are out with a guy and crawl into bed with him, come armed with the knowledge of these types of Pen.!ses so you can be prepared. You don’t want to be caught off-guard with his pants down, right? *Well, unless it’s really THAT gorgeous…* Here goes: #1 The Grower. We all know this as one of the two most prominent classifications of the Pen!s. This is the more discreet type, because you never know just how long and big it can go, unless you go all the way with the guy. At first it might seem small, but rub it just a little and it grows 2 to 3 times its flaccid size. Magic! #2 The Shower. “What? That’s it?” There are those d!cks that seem mighty impressive and imposing even while in pants. You may have stolen below-the-belt glances at that seemingly well-endowed officemate, but come Christmas party, you both get raunchy back in his place, and you find out that’s all there is to it. The shower types are really showy, but when they get hard, the initial size and length isn’t any different. #3 The Banana. Well, the name is a giveaway. This kind of monkey pole is shaped and bent just like a banana. They may be dangling straight out when flaccid, but when they get hard, they bend down. This may make it appear small, but try it out for size; you might be surprised by how perfectly it rubs against your clitoris, and even your center of gravity, with every thrust. Be careful doing the doggy, though. You may end up walking weird afterwards. #4 The Thor. This Pen.!s isn’t all big and ripped like the comic book hero. We called this Pen!s type Thor because it’s shaped like a hammer. The head is big and the shaft is small, like a mushroom *we’ll go with the name “hammer” because it sounds S3xier, and there’s a mushroom Pen!s we’ll tackle later*. This d!ck is perfect for touching the entirety of your V@g!nal walls—and, with shallow thrusts, your center of gravity. #5 The Shroom. The mushroom manhood looks much like The Thor, but with more, shall we say, exaggerated features. It is typically smaller in size, and the head is more rounded, like an umbrella or a mushroom cap. To get the most of this old chap, you’d better opt for doggy to allow for deeper thrusting, while making the base gratifyingly rub against your clitoris. #6 The “C.” Simply put, this C0ck is shaped like a “C.” This is a Pen.!s that bends to the right when erect. This slight distortion is due to a disease called Peyronie’s Disease, which is caused by a plaque forming along the length of the Pen.!s. This C-bend can also be caused by accidents or trauma to the Pen!s. While S3x for the C Pen!s can be painful, spooning and saddling can be highly satisfying. Fortunately, the V@g!na can keep the d!ck straight once inside. #7 The “S.” Weirder and less common than the “C,” is the “S” Pen.!s. This is a seemingly slithering purple monster, because it bends to one side and the other in an “S” shape. Despite its distorted shape, don’t write off this schlong as a freak of nature, because it may just make you a freak in bed. Depending on him and how he can make the most of his package, you can achieve “O” due to the tingling effect this shape brings. #8 The Chode. Wider than it is long, it is the Danny DeVito of Pen!ses. But don’t be turned off by this stump just yet. Though it can be very wide and typically stands at 4 to 5 inches, it can be very pleasurable, as it will satisfactorily fill every nook and cranny of your V@g!na. With deep thrusts, you can achieve maximum climax with this little fellow. Just be sure to have enough lubrication. #9 The Pencil. This love rod is, indeed, as straight as a rod. It appears straight and slim like a pencil. Its head is also almost the same width as the shaft, making it look very sleek and elongated. While this can be long, “wide” ladies won’t get much of that delish friction they need to get off. It can also poke your cervix, making S3x painful. Woman on top and spooning are good positions, but be careful when doing anal—you might just end up with a stick up your ass. #10 The Carrot. The Carrot is perhaps the most desirable Pen!s for women. It is slim in the end and gradually becomes thick at the base. The head is smaller and the shaft is bigger, forming a soft triangular shape that gives gradual pleasure to any woman in any position. Penetration is easy and sleek, but as the stiffy goes in deeper, the “ooh la la” sensations increase. #11 The Angry Wrestler. This Pen!s seems angry when erect, because it has veins popping out all over it. It looks veiny, but a S3@.x:’ier way to put it is “angry.” So this angry old chap can turn you on as you take in the veins lining up its length. There’s something primal and raw about this member, and you may even feel a slight, yet surprisingly awesome feeling, throbbing of the veins inside you, giving you a subtle vibrating effect. #12 The Old One. This old chap looks… really old. This is because it seems to be buried in a droopy robe of foreskin, making you wonder if it’s erect or flaccid, big or small. As enigmatic as this withering rod may seem, it can be difficult to find pleasure, even when the Old One is inside you. #13 The Woolly Mammoth. If you remember Mr. Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street, then you know what we’re talking about. This type of Pen.!s should actually be an ancient relic of Pen!ses past, with hygiene and grooming standards significantly more prominent today than the days of the caveman. This shaggy shag stick can be quite puzzling—and pungent—as you don’t know where the Pen.!s ends and the balls begin. Pen!ses are wonderful. They’re fun to play with, they please us, tease us, and they get the deed done. They’re also a yummy, toe-curling reminder that women can make guys do anything. However, despite the variety, there’s more to S3@.x:’ual satisfaction than a well-endowed pecker. Guys—and girls—should know well how to make the most of what they’ve got to get the most pleasure out of a Pen!s. So there you have it. We’ve given you the low-down on the down-below of our beloved men. We’ve found out that not all wangs are created equal. But one thing is for sure: weiner beauty is in the eye of the beholder—and the owner. http://madailygist.com/13-types-pnss-women-loveor-laugh/ 1 Like
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Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by nightingalee: 7:19am On Jan 27, 2017 |
... May the all sovereign God, help us in Jesus name. Amen! 2 Likes |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by optional1(f): 7:20am On Jan 27, 2017 |
op wey pictures beside cassava and cucumber is not on ur list. |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 7:24am On Jan 27, 2017 |
Am watching BBN |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 7:26am On Jan 27, 2017 |
nightingalee:religious people. u didn't find this informative in any way? 1 Like |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Antoeni(m): 7:28am On Jan 27, 2017 |
Cassava type tOo |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 7:29am On Jan 27, 2017 |
optional1:no vex just use ya imagination. As for cucumber, e scarce now because some of your specie dey horde am for special purposes if u know what I mean. |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by jonaifame22(m): 7:40am On Jan 27, 2017 |
And the ladies will act like they dnt know what the op is saying 1 Like |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Musampa73(m): 8:40am On Jan 27, 2017 |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by latinoKingdom(m): 8:57am On Jan 27, 2017 |
Op which one is your own? Oya tell us |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by nightingalee: 10:00am On Jan 27, 2017 |
uddeze:... did I mention that to you? You can't even tell a parody from, an actual statement. You're clearly affected by Poe's law; Now, go look that up -- run along! 2 Likes |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 10:39am On Jan 27, 2017 |
nightingalee:lol come on man no one's fighting you here. I'll look it up but I've learnt something today but have you? |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 10:42am On Jan 27, 2017 |
Musampa73:lol no vex but na which person own I wan snap nau... u want lala to ban person here? |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 10:45am On Jan 27, 2017 |
latinoKingdom:bro I can't talk about my d!CK oh because it's a long story. |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by optional1(f): 12:09pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
uddeze: and what abt cassava? Tekno af use it for his own special purpose bah... Well u can snap ur own and post it here and tell us the category. |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Smellymouth: 12:16pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
optional1:
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Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by optional1(f): 12:19pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
[quote author=Smellymouth post=53175119][/quote] smelly wat i do now... |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Smellymouth: 12:20pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by ELShehzad: 12:22pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
uddeze:X-actly... Very long bro. 10-inch 2 b precise |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by optional1(f): 12:23pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
Smellymouth: no dey hail me for this kind thing cos ur hailing no be frm ur mind. Beside i don repent |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by sweetestjane(f): 12:25pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
Op no pictures? |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Idydarling(f): 12:35pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
pictures woulda made this post more satisfying op.... ♥ |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 12:40pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
My type no dey there ooooooooooooooooooo , , Will send a picture for clarification after request from five females. Note viewers discretion |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by knightsson: 12:40pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
Idydarling: wetin you wan see make you never see tire before? |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by knightsson: 12:42pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
@mytime24 how re you? |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by mytime24(f): 12:47pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
knightsson:coooooooooooooooooooL ![]() |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by knightsson: 1:23pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
mytime24: lol, stumbled on your moniker and was amazed with what I saw. mesmerising you look. |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by pressplay411(m): 1:30pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
Teacher Op how is this class session complete without diagram? ![]() |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Nobody: 1:33pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
See names ![]() |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by mytime24(f): 1:34pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
knightsson:tankya ![]() |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by knightsson: 1:56pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
mytime24: wish you would help make this moment "my time" by walking away with me from here to a place where preying eyes won't hurt us. |
Re: 13 Types Of Pen!ses You May Come Across In Bed by Ozone1304: 4:36pm On Jan 27, 2017 |
My own no dey there joor ![]() |
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