I have been out of my highly paying job for a while now. This caused the most intense tension ever between me and my girlfriend. Till today, she keeps preaching to me how to behave in job places, and disregarding my instructions.

Unknown to her that I have found a new job with better pay and esteem, she doesn't relent in her sermonizing and abstract preachment. The cardinal point of her sermon is that if I'm not employed, I won't be able to take care of her, and that she doesn't want to leave me.

I want to know if she actually doesn't want to leave me before I would flaunt my new status. Note that I have kept my new status a secret from family and friends. I now have two apartments--my old apartment and the official quarters in new work place. Green lights from different directions now bombard me daily at work because they haven't seen anyone with me. I told family members that I hustle around; that's why I sleep at home once in a while.

Should I continue keeping my new status a secret to see if my girlfriend will fumble at last?

Copied: A friend needs this advice.

a friend of yours needs advice again ?

casttlebarbz:
a friend of yours needs advice again ?

I have many friends. Btw, have I talked about one of them needing help before?

just tell her the truth, Lies kills true love

Chuknovski:
just tell her the truth, Lies kills true love

If he should reveal his new status, she will start talking about marriage right away. But she is currently exhibiting unstable character.

B2Spirits:


I have many friends. Btw, have I talked about one of them needing help before?

not really,nairalanders comes here to tel us my friend this and that story

B2Spirits:


If he should reveal his new status, she will start talking about marriage right away. But she is currently exhibiting unstable character.

I still feel telling the truth is absolutely mature, and for the "pretence" to get married, just take things slow, one step at a time, don't allow her rush u to marriage

B2Spirits:


If he should reveal his new status, she will start talking about marriage right away. But she is currently exhibiting unstable character.

Very unstable.
I implore he maintains its secrecy and let nature take its course.
Unless otherwise he has been nurturing the intention of dumping her before now and the job acquisition has intensified it, hence he has resorted to seeking flimsy excuse to call it quit without feeling guilty.

Ete!!! Relationship matters sha.

From the way that your gf sounded i think she's inversely proportionally telling you that, "hey, look, if you continue in this your jobless status i might sort for an alternative"...a small word from a woman usually has so many meanings, we know them...advice, still persist in the guise that you haven't gotten a job but give her this impression of optimism that you will get one soon....if she's willing to stay know that she's a keeper but if she disdain you and keeps threatening to break up, use your hand and advice her to break up with you but make it not to be your fault....uwa odi egwu according to an igbo man, but in ibibio, we say ereri'nbor emi imem ke.

Bluezy13:




Very unstable.
I implore he maintains its secrecy and let nature take its course.
Unless otherwise he has been nurturing the intention of dumping her before now and the job acquisition has intensified it, hence he has resorted to seeking flimsy excuse to call it quit without feeling guilty.

Ete!!! Relationship matters sha.

The guy was the major financier of the girl's education until 3 months ago. She has run to her relatives to ensure the financing for the remaining final year. But she's behaving like someone in position to advice my friend on how to hustle hard.

How can one tell that her advice and biting sermons are not geared towards her own selfish needs?

Note that she has done the worst since the guy lost his job, but the love he has for her made him unable to send her packing. The gal cheated on him, she became restless until she told him and begged for forgiveness, saying she doesn't want him to find out first.

B2Spirits:


The guy was the major financier of the girl's education until 3 months ago. She has run to her relatives to ensure the financing for the remaining final year. But she's behaving like someone in position to advice my friend on how to hustle hard.

How can one tell that her advice and biting sermons are not geared towards her own selfish needs?

Note that she has done the worst since the guy lost his job, but the love he has for her made him unable to send her packing. The gal cheated on him, she became restless until she told him and begged for forgiveness, saying she doesn't want him to find out first.

Now this is the missing part of the story...

So, what happens if she eventually finds out
That's like postponing doom's day.
He is a man, he should do what he has to do.

B2Spirits:


The guy was the major financier of the girl's education until 3 months ago. She has run to her relatives to ensure the financing for the remaining final year. But she's behaving like someone in position to advice my friend on how to hustle hard.

How can one tell that her advice and biting sermons are not geared towards her own selfish needs?

Note that she has done the worst since the guy lost his job, but the love he has for her made him unable to send her packing. The gal cheated on him, she became restless until she told him and begged for forgiveness, saying she doesn't want him to find out first.

for this alone, is enough reason to know her endurance limit. once a woman has tested cheating while in a stable relationship, all because of money... watch her she will still do it again.

if she is a good girl and has good character, then tell her but don't let her put pressure in u

Chuknovski:


I still feel telling the truth is absolutely mature, and for the "pretence" to get married, just take things slow, one step at a time, don't allow her rush u to marriage

Op don't listen to this guy, he doesn't knw women. The fact dat the most tensed period of ur relationship came at a time u lost ur job is a great pointer.

The girl only needs a financial backing..let him keep quite about the new job and watch how things unfold..she even cheated again...

Tell her the truth about your new job.. Or are u praying she will fucvk up so u can date one of those giving u green light at work?
But if it's the other way round she will quickly rush and tell u the good news that same day..
Why are men so secretive?

No matter how many times u play detective u can never know a woman till the end.
Those ones giving u green light, do u think they are better?

Well it's your choice to make.. After some years down the drain, and sleeping different ladies who will mess up even with your new status.. U will later starts regretting and remembering this your gf. We've seen it happen before. This not the first.

hmmm

You know the kind of lady she is and don't forget that when u were financially bankrupt, she stood by you and for her to keep pushing you to attain strong financial status means she meant well for both of you.

Not that I am advising you to tell her immediately but atleast show assurance that your optimism for bright future is here, therefore, tell her some of your moves to buy time of knowing if she will endure till you finally unveil the whole story.

Don't delay this move because you may lose a rare gem to someone who is ready to settle and don't get distracted by the green lights around you. Were where they when u had nothing?

Nawa! Seems all these people commenting no read d story well or were hungry before reading....
The guy sponsored d girl's education till 3months ago.....she cheated when he lost his job..... She took turns berating d guy in a way indicative of quitting d relationship if his jobless status continues.....
Do i need to be a soothsayer to spell it out to u OP? DAT girl na olorunsogo girl(when things are smooth) n not d surulere type(enduring n perservering)......
My verdict.....hoes ain't loyal.....dump her ass!

[quote author=luminouz post=53371083]Nawa! Seems all these people commenting no read d story well or were hungry before reading....
The guy sponsored d girl's education till 3months ago.....she cheated when he lost his job..... She took turns berating d guy in a way indicative of quitting d relationship if his jobless status continues.....
Do i need to be a soothsayer to spell it out to u OP? DAT girl na olorunsogo girl(when things are smooth) n not d surulere type(enduring n perservering)......
My verdict.....hoes ain't loyal.....dump her ass! [/quoe]correct guy

perhaps if your guy had broken up with her when she cheated,she wouldn't be threatening your guy of break up subtly.That babe is too unstable for your guy's peace of mind.

luminouz:
Nawa! Seems all these people commenting no read d story well or were hungry before reading....
The guy sponsored d girl's education till 3months ago.....she cheated when he lost his job..... She took turns berating d guy in a way indicative of quitting d relationship if his jobless status continues.....
Do i need to be a soothsayer to spell it out to u OP? DAT girl na olorunsogo girl(when things are smooth) n not d surulere type(enduring n perservering)......
My verdict.....hoes ain't loyal.....dump her ass!

But sincerely and with all. Modesty who in her right senses would want to marry a job less guy? If your sister brings home a jobless guy as her fiance? Will u accept? Your parents sef will walk him to the door.
And when it comes to cheating? If the guy can swear he has never fucvked any babe except her when things were rosy for him? Then he can go ahead and dump her. Cos we all know most financially stable guys cheat in relationships. So because she admitted and confessed to cheating on him once! He should dump her?
Let's please place ourselves in that scenario..

If your sister bring home a jobless man? Will u welcome him?

alexialin:




But sincerely and with all. Modesty who in her right senses would want to marry a job less guy? If your sister brings home a jobless guy as her fiance? Will u accept? Your parents sef will walk him to the door.
And when it comes to cheating? If the guy can swear he has never fucvked any babe except her when things were rosy for him? Then he can go ahead and dump her. Cos we all know most financially stable guys cheat in relationships. So because she admitted and confessed to cheating on him once! He should dump her?
Let's please place ourselves in that scenario..

If your sister bring home a jobless man? Will u welcome him?

Y won't I welcome him? Is he a crocodile? If he sounds serious....he could marry n I will pay for a year rent! Joblessness is a thing of d mind...u can always find something to keep busy abeg!
Ohoh!!!!! When he single handedly took care of her education for 3yrs....u no see any fault oooo......
Now he was broke n d girl dey act up? Just after 3 months? Wtf?
D guy tried abeg! Y in d world would I send a girl to SKUL when she has family......n now d girl is disrespectful n hints act quitting! I support d OP not telling her shiiiit! Till she proves she can endure..coz DAT is d whole essence of a committed woman...

alexialin:
Tell her the truth about your new job.. Or are u praying she will fucvk up so u can date one of those giving u green light at work?
But if it's the other way round she will quickly rush and tell u the good news that same day..
Why are men so secretive?

No matter how many times u play detective u can never know a woman till the end.
Those ones giving u green light, do u think they are better?

Well it's your choice to make.. After some years down the drain, and sleeping different ladies who will mess up even with your new status.. U will later starts regretting and remembering this your gf. We've seen it happen before. This not the first.

My guy is obviously in love, but one thing else bothers him. He was the one that deflowered the young girl. Never used condom, and gal never used contraceptives because she want to be pregnant so that guy won't mistakenly marry someone else, and she is yet to get pregnant.

alexialin:




But sincerely and with all. Modesty who in her right senses would want to marry a job less guy? If your sister brings home a jobless guy as her fiance? Will u accept? Your parents sef will walk him to the door.
And when it comes to cheating? If the guy can swear he has never fucvked any babe except her when things were rosy for him? Then he can go ahead and dump her. Cos we all know most financially stable guys cheat in relationships. So because she admitted and confessed to cheating on him once! He should dump her?
Let's please place ourselves in that scenario..

If your sister bring home a jobless man? Will u welcome him?

The guy in this case wasnt jobless from the begining. Anyone can lose their job at anytime, this is point where she ought to show utmost support and encouragement for the guy, coupled with the fact he sponsored most of her education.

I personally think her true colours is coming out, her gold digger soul is being revealed. If the guy can keep his new job a secret a little bit longer, she would run away eventually.

Nesso:

Op don't listen to this guy, he doesn't knw women. The fact dat the most tensed period of ur relationship came at a time u lost ur job is a great pointer.

well Mr know it all,the floor is yours,Enjoy

Situation like this need patience, don't be quick to judge her, keep acting jobless for a while,in marriage there is Good and bad moments, if she is not strong enough during hardship in courtship, she meant not be in marriage.

Bro, take a chill pill to unravel the mystery behind her unending sermon. I perceive that the girl will be the materialistic type, if not now but in future.
When u eventually marry this type of girl, she would be a source of enormous pressure when your finances starts going south and we all know that nothing is constant because this life is a life of vicissitude.
This is the right time to know whether your relationship with her will be able to stand the test of time or not.

B2Spirits:


My guy is obviously in love, but one thing else bothers him. He was the one that deflowered the young girl. Never used condom, and gal never used contraceptives because she want to be pregnant so that guy won't mistakenly marry someone else, and she is yet to get pregnant.

Now d story is taking on several twists n turns! Is it d attitude or d inability to get belle now we go correct or what?

B2Spirits:
I have been out of my highly paying job for a while now. This caused the most intense tension ever between me and my girlfriend. Till today, she keeps preaching to me how to behave in job places, and disregarding my instructions.

Unknown to her that I have found a new job with better pay and esteem, she doesn't relent in her sermonizing and abstract preachment. The cardinal point of her sermon is that if I'm not employed, I won't be able to take care of her, and that she doesn't want to leave me.

I want to know if she actually doesn't want to leave me before I would flaunt my new status. Note that I have kept my new status a secret from family and friends. I now have two apartments--my old apartment and the official quarters in new work place. Green lights from different directions now bombard me daily at work because they haven't seen anyone with me. I told family members that I hustle around; that's why I sleep at home once in a while.

Should I continue keeping my new status a secret to see if my girlfriend will fumble at last?

Copied: A friend needs this advice.

it's When You don't have You no a woman who truly loves You Over period of time...You can still Keep The new status to Yourself to See if she will lose grip of still loving You. this same thing happened to me my girl left Because of immediate now That I don't Have job yet but she forgot God still exist and at The moment am doing great. bro but if in return You love more than much then don't set up the trap of stressing her love for You by keeping such status away from her for long. If she worth it bro let her know.

Humans and selfishness. Guys will always what a lady that can love them when things are hard and they have no money but the same guys won't marry a lady because of a condition she found herself in. Condition like being unable to produce a child, a disability e.t.c. I am sure the op and most guys can't marry a lady facing one of these(it takes love).

Guys that can't marry a lady because of any of these conditions and ladies that dump guys because they don't have money are the same. Thunder will fire any guy that is like this and still complains of being dumped because of his financial lack. People are different are there are many reasons why girls won't marry a guy that is not financially stable. The reasons are:
1) insecurity (what if you never make it out of your struggle).
2) inability to cope in suffering( many girls can't withstand the stress and hardship of suffering).
3) most girls have seen what others(maybe friends, relatives) who are married go through due suffering induced by financial lack. They have made up their minds never to suffer like that as they can't take it.
4) some girls came from poor families and have suffered so they vowed nothing will make them suffer again. Some desperately want to get out of poverty as the suffering is unbearable.
5) some are just greedy. They want to afford vanities.
6) the reputation in society, among friends, families e.t.c. of marrying a poor husband is stigmatizing(girls will understand)

Guys should cut girls some slack. It is not a bad thing to want a rich husband. If you are a father, will you want your daughter to marry a poor man? Men should learn to work hard so that they can provide for their women. Stop being selfish looking for who can suffer with you. Most guys can't suffer with a barren or disabled woman but yet want a woman that can suffer with you. It is thunder that fire guys like that.

Guys go and work.