I have learnt enough from what they did to my dad and I am definitely not gonna thread that path.
I would rather benefit an outsider with my "cheer-giver" nature.

"I am blessed to be a blessing", people will only pray and care for you so long as they can benefit frm you. Evryone nids wisdom to deal with family. Also, I have realised that no(thing/one) is indispensable, as much as you think you are, the more you are not.

Louislewis: It is in the Bible " God loves a cheerful giver" It is more "blessed to give than to receive". "Be your brother's keeper" and so many others. All these words are words of wisdom for you to be richer. If you are opportune to be struggling to become somebody tomorrow, you must show and exhibit these characters to attract God's mercy. If you are opportune to be comfortable financially, your financial achievement is God's doing for the purpose of God's blessings to be extented to those in need through you. If you realize this and practise sincerely with pure heart, God will continue to use you as His source of blessings to others, thereby making you richer. It's matter of choice to either remain poor with your spirit of tight-fitted hand, or open doors of God's source of blessing through you by given, or open doors of more financially growth by using part of the ones you have to bless people in need. Finally, God's is only Merciful for those that have Mercy. This is one of the secret of natural financial richness.

If there was a way to like your post more than once, I would
, and absolutely true, your post


....the thing that makes you wanna put a smile on someone else' s face....nuclear or extended family, friends, acquaintances, heck, even strangers

The funny and beautiful thing about giving (with real love and willingness and not grudgingly)....is that you always get more of what you give
True Story

In summary, for peace and harmony:

MrRhymes101: True talk...when u lend relatives money don't expect to get paid

nickz: you will never know the number of cousins you have until you make money!!

Lol!!!




Are cousins now virus that reproduce into millions within few seconds. May God help someone in this hard economy situation of Nigeria.

anonimi:
We should STOP simply giving money to our relations who are able bodied and so can work and earn a living.
A worthwhile person should learn to live within his/her means even as he makes appropriate sacrifice/savings/investments to grow his future income flow in order to meet ever increasing needs.
A one-off punctual assistance is ok but should NEVER be repeated as to become habitual.
NEVER.

Giving such regular assistance apart from being against Christian [and maybe other religious] teachings also promotes CORRUPTION and perennial UNDER-DEVELOPMENT of the society. This is very evident when one compares our still PRIMITIVE African societies to those oyinbo places we are fleeing to.

This bold!

''We should STOP simply giving money to our relations who are able bodied and so can work and earn a living.''

Best Comment I've ever seen on this thread.

ayobase:
this reminds me of my father.
my father can sell his clothes and belongings to help people.

he even helps people at the detriment of his family sometimes. be believes we should understand than the needy.

he has done weddings for people.
he has beeb paying school fees.
setting up biz for people
even paying house rents

a whole lot.......

well, I wanna thank God cos God has been helping him so far. he lacks nothing.

but when trouble came, nobody even called let alone of someone coming to abuja to know what the problem was.

at a point, people were giving us money to survive....people from church, at work, and some friends.........nobody from the family.

na dem I know sey i gat no family to run to when the chips are down.

if you are sugar, people will surely lick you finish.

to ur tent oh ye isreal..

My parents are like this
But God cannot abandon those who constantly give arms
They will surely be justified

Theophinio:

My parents are like this
But God cannot abandon those who constantly give arms
They will surely be justified

He was justified indeed.

And he is way higher and better than where he was in year 2014.

I have instinctively learned to be compassionate and God-fearing via his way of life - My role model.

ayobase:


He was justified indeed.

And he is way higher and better than where he was in year 2014.

I have instinctively learned to be compassionate and God-fearing via his way of life - My role model.

That's Good
Hoping you impact this Great Virtues to the Next Generation

vikel2104:
As Nigerians, we have very close family ties and as a children, we were raised to honor this tradition.
And since this is a big part of our cultural upbringing, it is often considered inappropriate to decline giving financial support to family members and relatives.

Lending out money or giving financial support to family members and relatives is often an emotional experience. Nevertheless, we should learn how to handle the situation as objectively as possible. By letting our emotions and pity control our decisions, we could end up in our own financial mess.

So how do we carry ourselves when faced with a family member or relative who’s asking for financial support?

Listen with an open heart and empathize
If you’ve experienced being asked for money by a relative, you’ll know that these situations typically start with the telling of a sad story. Listen with an open heart and empathize but do not promise anything. Show genuine concern and ask questions so that you’ll fully understand the circumstances that led them to ask for your help.

After that, tell them that you would need some time to think about it. Be clear that the reason why you’re asking them to wait is because you want to assess your finances. Make them understand that you’re currently not in the best position to commit to anything.
Furthermore, be sure to give them a reasonable date when you’ll have your decision and offer to be the one to call them on that day. Doing so will lessen their anxiety and likewise assure them that you are sincerely willing to help.

Assess your own financial situation.
Your next step is to naturally assess your own financial situation if you could afford to give your support. Again, we realize the value of tracking our expenses and the importance of having a personal budget.
You should also be aware that it may seem that you can afford to lend out the money now but don’t forget to consider your needs in the coming weeks or months.
Once you have thoroughly assessed your financial capabilities and found out that you could afford to extend your help, and then arrange to make the payment directly to their need.

What does this mean?
In some cases, rather than giving the person money for tuition for instance, you can write out a cheque payable to the school. Likewise, rather than giving the person allowance for books and other school requirements, you can ask the person to give you the list so you can buy them personally.

This will ensure that your hard-earned money is being put to proper use instead of being spent on unnecessary expenses.

Don’t expect to be paid back.
Even though they might say that they will return the money someday, in most cases, it never happens.
Whatever financial support you extend should be considered a gift rather than a loan. This way, you avoid family rifts and unnecessary feuds. If you cannot afford to lose the money, then the best option might be to offer non-monetary support.

How to say NO when you don’t have.
So what should you do if after seriously considering your personal finances, you found out that you cannot afford to help? How do you say NO?

First, make them understand your situation and explain to them your own financial goals. Be sincere and diplomatic.

Second, be willing to offer support in another way such as helping them find income opportunities and teaching them financial responsibility.
To restate a famous saying, “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime. But teach a man to sell fish and he will eat steak.”

Some reasons why people don’t want to help relatives.
-Some relatives tend to abuse ones’ generosity and start relying on your support as their own means of livelihood. You want to be able to help them out in emergencies, but you never want to find yourself in a situation where your finances are being relied upon to keep members of your extended family afloat.
-Some have not learnt financial responsibility. They mis-spend money in many ways.

(Original article by Fitz Villafuerte)

What are your thoughts and experience on this topic?

Quite an interesting thread that still resonates 10 years after.