Emioga:
Wow this thread is still here. Been going through so much. Thought of killing myself but I think of my kids. Am so tired

Hmmmm. There is always Light at the end of every dark tunnel. No matter how long or big it might be and sometimes the tunnels are dirty with lots of heavy cobwebs. But l am sure at the end Light will shine. Cheers...

Emioga:
Wow this thread is still here. Been going through so much. Thought of killing myself but I think of my kids. Am so tired

Please share and you will feel better.

Whatever it is, don't try the bolded.

SlowlybtSurely:


Please share and you will feel better.

Whatever it is, don't try the bolded.

am so tired. If you have read my former post I said my mil stays with us. My husband has changed so much just because his mom and brother don't get along with me. He calls me names and all sorts. He blackmails me financially, emotionally and psychologically(if their is a phrase like that) take for example 2 days ago I heard my mil fighting with someone so I came out of the house, on getting their i knew the woman she was fighting with so I approached the woman and told her to please leave our compound. After that I went to the woman 's shop and told her it wasn't nice to just enter someone else compound and start shouting. To cut long story short my husband said I sent the woman to beat his mother. I just weak. So much more.

I feel your pain sister. I am also going through a similar thing even though i dont have in-laws staying with me. My husband allows his parents and siblings to accuse me wrongfully and even insult me and he cant say anything even though he dislikes it.

All i will tell you to do is pray,pray pray and pray more. At the right time,God will make you smile at your marriage.
Pray like your life depends on your marriage and tell God to make your mother MIL and any other in law have a change of heart.
Please be strong.

Emioga:
am so tired. If you have read my former post I said my mil stays with us. My husband has changed so much just because his mom and brother don't get along with me. He calls me names and all sorts. He blackmails me financially, emotionally and psychologically(if their is a phrase like that) take for example 2 days ago I heard my mil fighting with someone so I came out of the house, on getting their i knew the woman she was fighting with so I approached the woman and told her to please leave our compound. After that I went to the woman 's shop and told her it wasn't nice to just enter someone else compound and start shouting. To cut long story short my husband said I sent the woman to beat his mother. I just weak. So much more.

Asey:
I feel your pain sister. I am also going through a similar thing even though i dont have in-laws staying with me. My husband allows his parents and siblings to accuse me wrongfully and even insult me and he cant say anything even though he dislikes it.

All i will tell you to do is pray,pray pray and pray more. At the right time,God will make you smile at your marriage.
Pray like your life depends on your marriage and tell God to make your mother MIL and any other in law have a change of heart. Please be strong.

am trying but it is getting worse. Yours is even better, they don't stay with you. They will abuse me to my face and smile when they see my husband. If cum report to hubby na bashing from him o

Abeg, no vex o! Must you remain married to your husband?
Can't you give him a little space for your sanity abi you want to die a 'MRS'?
Please leave that toxic environment for now.

Emioga:
am trying but it is getting worse. Yours is even better, they don't stay with you. They will abuse me to my face and smile when they see my husband. If cum report to hubby na bashing from him o

FynBabe:
Abeg, no vex o! Must you remain married to your husband?
Can't you give him a little space for your sanity abi you want to die a 'MRS'?
Please leave that toxic environment for now.

exactly what my sister said but I actually know why I have been living in fear why I haven't left, it's because I depend on him financially and my family is not ready to interfere cos they told me not to marry him and they fear him like mad. So I keep on being strong and hope I don't die in the office of "Mrs"

Hmmmm! May God help you.

Emioga:
exactly what my sister said but I actually know why I have been living in fear why I haven't left, it's because I depend on him financially and my family is not ready to interfere cos they told me not to marry him and they fear him like mad. So I keep on being strong and hope I don't die in the office of "Mrs"

You don't want to get involved with someone who can't make decisions themselves or who has to consult their parents before making the slightest decision. They don't change and you would be worse off in the end if you marry them

All these red flags are shown during courtship but most choose to ignore them. Not only guys are tied to their mother's apron strings but some ladies too.

When your guy cannot draw a line between mother and fiancee then you would have problems of unnecessary interference in your married life.

Emioga:
exactly what my sister said but I actually know why I have been living in fear why I haven't left, it's because I depend on him financially and my family is not ready to interfere cos they told me not to marry him and they fear him like mad. So I keep on being strong and hope I don't die in the office of "Mrs"

Darling pls I AM begging you find a wood and pan fry akara to sell and sleep with peace of mind.
O my God. Most ladies that goes through same fate as you have ONLY one excuse. (Finance )and may be fear of unknown.
You should love yourself enough to know when to leave.
Only YOU can help you so pls find a way to run without looking back
We are our limitation .pls leave I am sure your family won't want you dead when they see you taking the bull by the horn .
They will either keep mute or support you.
In the end all you need is strong faith that you will survive and God is enough for you

onegig:
I am not yet married but one solid thing i have learnt from my Mum by watching her dealings when it comes to these extended family issues is to first limit your familiarity. There's no need for all these unnecessary "talks" and useless associations that i see many married women going into.


Do things because you are genuinely happy and willing to do them not because someone somewhere wants to blackmail or coerce you into doing it. Be independent, have an identity of your own and be firm in your decisions.


When people know your unwavering stand on issues they would learn to respect you for it with time. Be diplomatic at the start but be firm and consistent. I can only assure you that with time and as you grow into the marriage they would learn to respect your decisions to be "on your own".

And remember to be able to hold your own in these situations. You must have sharpened that "i don't care" attitude and have developed extra thick skin to all the talks that would emanate from your actions.

@other ladies.

You also need to court the support of your husband and need to see his family as yours also. You just need to learn how to balance between being families and your own personal freedoms and choices demands.

Wow

FynBabe:
Abeg, no vex o! Must you remain married to your husband?
Can't you give him a little space for your sanity abi you want to die a 'MRS'?
Please leave that toxic environment for now.

Sometimes I baffles at the way people just say "leave him" as if it's that easy. If that has been done by you before, you might as well just share your experience. Walking away from a marriage doesn't solve issues most times.

It takes a lot of courage, nerves, balls and determination to pull that off.

What happened to discussion, praying, yielding, compromise etc.

No offence meant.

i just stumbled on this thread, though am not married yet... hey but as the going goes "knowledge is the best key to understanding".

THE ISSUE ON MARITAL FLAWS FROM MY OWN VIEW STARTS FROM THE ISSUE OF NOT HAVING THE NEEDED/RIGHT FOUNDATION FROM ONES EARLY FAMILY BEFORE STARTING HIS/HER OWN...

IN THE CASE YOU MISSED THE EARLIER, HERE ARE FEW TIPS TO STARTING A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

- know your partner 90%: this is a must rule for any successful union. do your own research on your partners family, ex, friends, associations, clubs etc. The most important on the above examples is the first two FAMILY AND EX, make sure you know about 95% of the earlier mentioned category no joking.

Been a while in here.
Hello everyone!

A lot of water have passed under this bridge. People were sold out, trusts broken, a lot of emotional damages done, but in all I thank everyone of you for participating actively while the thread lasted.

A lot of people are dying in silence because they've got no one to talk to or share their problems with.
If you ever feel the need to talk to anyone, or share your story in a wider platform freely without been called out or humiliated, be free to talk to me thru a private message or add me up on Facebook. (Ken xandra). Matters of the heart are delicate matters that shouldn't be addressed in a way that will cause more damage than good.

If you need an opinion on anything or wants to share your story without your identity just send to my inbox and I will do justice to it.

We all pray for a happy home and a warm relationship with everybody around us.

I earnestly enjoyed the time we all spent here, and I equally made some friends too. Its nice having you all here.

Stay safe and remain blessed!

Emioga:
am so tired. If you have read my former post I said my mil stays with us. My husband has changed so much just because his mom and brother don't get along with me. He calls me names and all sorts. He blackmails me financially, emotionally and psychologically(if their is a phrase like that) take for example 2 days ago I heard my mil fighting with someone so I came out of the house, on getting their i knew the woman she was fighting with so I approached the woman and told her to please leave our compound. After that I went to the woman 's shop and told her it wasn't nice to just enter someone else compound and start shouting. To cut long story short my husband said I sent the woman to beat his mother. I just weak. So much more.

Hello emioga. Could u pls inbox me? On Facebook. Just search for ken xandra.

Godmystrength:
Wow!!! Where is everybody? It's been a while.

I missed you ooo.
Where have u been?

wapu:
Just saw this thread.
I'm having a serious challenge with my marriage.
my story is long pls bear with me.

I and hubby met while in school.
He chased me like crazy. We were just on and off.
After a while I decided to give it a try.

We got engaged often 3yrs of courting.
8 months after the engagement I took in.
Hubby wanted me to abort I refused. We had already done our introduction and all that so our both families knew each other.
Hubby changed that he wasn't ready for it .... I insisted I won't abort.
we could both afford the pregnancy so I couldn't understand him.
I can raise the child comfortably so I insisted I wasn't going to abort.

I had to involve his family when I realized he was serious.. and we had our trad last month.
The problem now is that hubby has completely changed.

He disrespect me now. Says all manner of silly things to me with disregard.
We work in different states.
Since we got married he hasn't visited me. I do the visiting. When I visit he's all loving and behaves.
Immediately I leave he goes back to the monster he used to be.
His extremely stubborn.
I've complained to his elder brother before but it okay made things worse.
He said I reported him. That do I think anyone can talk to him....

Last week we went to the embassy but we were denied visa because we ain't wedded yet.
He blamed me for it. Said I'm bad luck. I told him it's because we ain't t wedded and we should have done court like I suggested before.
He threatened to slap me so I kept quiet.

On our way back my flight was canceled but his wasn't. Cos we live in different states.
I had to take a bus back cos of work whilst he flew back.

My journey lasted for almost 12 hrs.
He didn't call me to know how far and refused to pick his calls.
my battery ran down and my parents and his where worried and kept calling me but I couldn't be reached.
My parents and his kept calling him but he didn't pick their calls.
Till now he hasn't returned my parents or any of my siblings calls.

I got home at 11pm that day.
my hubby hasn't called me till date and doesn't even pick my calls.

I sent him a message on whatsapp telling him I've not gone to work for two days cos of my health.
He replied telling me not to show up at his door without a week notice.
Right now I'm fed up.
I don't want to do the wedding or get more yoked to him in any legal way.
I just want to have my baby and take care of it.

I don't know what else to do.

Wapu, how are u now dear? Have u put to bed? Kindly send me a private message. Facebook name Ken xandra

@ hispinkolo , Bryan, godmystrength, pickabeau , bellong , bukatyne
AM still trying to remember my fellow counsellors names oo

snazzylove:
@ hispinkolo , Bryan, godmystrength, pickabeau , bellong , bukatyne
AM still trying to remember my fellow counsellors names oo

Happy new years oooooooooooo.

How are you and family?

Godmystrength:
lol. Your eyes are not deceiving you.

Many things happened my dear but God is good

Missed you all

Where is aisha2?

Thank God.

Aisha has long deactivated.

Happy new year.

bukatyne:


Happy new years oooooooooooo.

How are you and family?

Happy new year dearie.
Am fine oo and family is awesome.

How are you and yours?
I missed you guys oo.
Like godmystrength said, a lot happened. But it's well jare.
We are still standing strong.
Add me up on FB pls Ken xandra is d name

@Snazzylove,

How are you? Quite an age..

@Bukatyne,

Happy new years... It's been a long long time.

bellong:
@Snazzylove,

How are you? Quite an age..

@Bukatyne,

Happy new years... It's been a long long time.

Hi bellong! Am gud. Yeah, bin a long while. It's a long story jare.
How are u doing?

snazzylove:

Hi bellong! Am gud. Yeah, bin a long while. It's a long story jare.
How are u doing?

Doing well by His grace sis... Long story can be summarized or shared in installment...

snazzylove:


Wapu, how are u now dear? Have u put to bed? Kindly send me a private message. Facebook name Ken xandra

Yes I have.
I have a beautiful baby girl now.
Things haven't changed with her dad though but I'm okay and happy.

I've been on my own all these while so I don't need him anymore.
I'm too young to die of HBP.

wapu:


Yes I have.
I have a beautiful baby girl now.
Things haven't changed with her dad though but I'm okay and happy.

I've been on my own all these while so I don't need him anymore.
I'm too young to die of HBP.

Good to hear sis. Happy for you.
Pls do take care of urself and baby too.

Kisses to baby

bellong:


Doing well by His grace sis... Long story can be summarized or shared in installment...

You are right!

wawu...... such a long time

I miss this thread.

To become a great man is not a day job . Makes urself happy with ? Check out the secret from our blogs

https://araromi1..com/?m=1

I miss this trend

pickabeau1:
nice thread

real issues here

snazzy

Hubby has 75 percent of the issue
Since he is not stepping up. dont get yourself worked up
Live in peace with her and help her as much as you can during her pregnancy and birth (sister to sister) so tha your conscience will be clear
You dont want them to label you

How are you doing sir... Thought about you today and decided to say hello. Take care and stay safe