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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot (5359 Views)
My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel / I Dream Of Death Anytime I Quarrel With My Wife. I Need Your Advice / I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him (2) (3) (4)
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by aljharem(m): 11:44am On Feb 19, 2017 |
What a contentious woman. For save men from women like this op 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by henryhemon(m): 12:31pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Berbierklaus:Hi |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Berbierklaus(f): 12:33pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
henryhemon:Hello |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Berbierklaus(f): 12:35pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
chy4luv:Because age is not maturity. Because a bad child is he mother's,so if your daughter turns out bad you will be blamed. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by henryhemon(m): 12:35pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Berbierklaus: Don't know if it's the picture colour or are you dark in complexion? But I must say how beautiful you are n can we be friends? Real friends not virtual friends. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Berbierklaus(f): 12:43pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
henryhemon:I am chocolate in complexion,this is a black and white picture. Thanks for your compliments ![]() How is the friendship thing supposed to work though? |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by henryhemon(m): 12:46pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Berbierklaus: Could start with if you agree to share PM with me then I could get your contact Which mustn't be your phone number but any chat app. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Berbierklaus(f): 12:56pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
henryhemon:Okay,I await your PM |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by henryhemon(m): 12:58pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Berbierklaus: Done. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by henryhemon(m): 1:30pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Berbierklaus: Haven't got a response as yet. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Berbierklaus(f): 1:36pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
henryhemon:I replied since,check again |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by kweenkong(f): 1:43pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Madam all marriages go through this at some point especially in the early years so it isn't strange. Now to this yours is strange because 1) you have married for 10yrs and you still argue this much. Infact mine stopped at relationship level. 2) you are both temperamental 3) your period that will stay around for a long time controls ur marriage. You know it is a problem yet he should be the one to understand not you working on ur pms. 4) you really need to deal with ur issues first before you try to deal with his. Kindly learn to keep quiet when he gets all arguing and upset. Learn to pass ur point across without throwing shades at him. When he does something irrational like leaving you in the car when he is upset. Discuss it when he is calmer probably days after and no need to insult him. You can say '' Babe I know you love me and the kids but imagine if something happened that day you left us in the car just because you were angry for a while. " make him promise to always take deep breaths before taking an action and you need to learn that also. And don't ever mention the word separation unless you are really ready to follow through 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by 1miccza: 2:40pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
It would take maturity and a bit of patience for such arguments to stop. OP you can bear the pains and refuse to say anything or scream when such comes up. If you still love your husband. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Bibors(m): 3:03pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
chy4luv: look at the beautiful name you just gave a very deep psychological disorder......PRE MENSTRUAL SYNDROME. Hear the hard truth, its a combination of OCD and other deep rooted psychological disorders. the fact that your husband knows actually means he is helpful.... from your comment, when you told him "it started today, he was like ahh, so no arguments today" look inwards before you kill that sweet man..... you are gradually drifting into a full blown contentious wife. the truth is that you are not far from help coz the chronic ones don't even admit their wrongs. since you know you got PMS and you give him your own share of trouble, pls, pls and pls again prayerfully adjust. as per your husbands voice, he has always been like that, so how has it become an issue now. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by UIA04(f): 3:35pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
juman: But a goat iss Stubborn na |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by baby124: 3:40pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Lol, OP has a good husband and she is a nag. OP your husband runs away from you when you start your fight. That should tell you your approach and way of fighting does not work for him. Study him and find a new way. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Artistree: 4:01pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
austin2all:Chief judge |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Nobody: 4:01pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
I won't advise anything except to tell you to desist from arguing when you guys are driving. It could lead to accidents and untimely death. Take note 1 Like |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Richy4(m): 4:40pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
baby124: Study him?...Ten years should have given her 2 PhDs of any course about her man ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by juman(m): 5:20pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Nobody: 6:53pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Try and learn humility. It's not every argument we must win. Be a role model to your daughter. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by henryhemon(m): 7:28pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
Berbierklaus: Sent a request. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by Diplomaticbeing(m): 8:02pm On Feb 19, 2017 |
@OP Having gone through your submissions herein, I can boldly say that you've a domineering attribute, this is the unspoken reason for the irritable attitude you do have prior to your monthly circles. Even though you had always try to change for better but attributes are incorrigible. . . Only attitudes are malleable. The good thing is that you have a man with unassuming character as a husband. Don't push him more closer to the wall like you have done already. Remedy to your problem: prior to your monthly circles, do always imbibe calm and solitude attitudes - you've to let your husband to be in the know about this and your reason for doing so. . . This validate the importance of effective communication in marriage/relationship. God luck. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by MasterofNL: 9:54am On Feb 20, 2017 |
kweenkong: You have said my mind. I know the type of woman the OP is. Men can't stand them. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by WomanOfRace(f): 10:18am On Feb 20, 2017 |
Both of you are lawyers by nature. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by opelyem(m): 11:02am On Feb 20, 2017 |
chy4luv: This is funny but I really understand, it is an hormonal imbalance. Do u normally take drugs if you fall sick or your faith forbids taking drug? if u take drugs then please take drug for your PMS too, at least to save ur marriage. Not all men can take those tantrums of women with PMS. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by opelyem(m): 11:16am On Feb 20, 2017 |
chy4luv: I don't know if u av read d story of two goats coming from opposite direction. They met at a bridge that can allow only one goat to pass at a time. So the two goats started fighting that d first should bend for the other so that it can walk over d 2nd goat. Well, in their fight, both fell off d bridge into d river. Now it was the turn of two sheep. When they met at the same bridge, one sheep bent down, and the other walk on it to pass the other side. Then the two were able to head to their respective destination. I hope you can grab my analogy. Don't think that y must u be d one to always keep shut. Peace. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by jaszplus12(m): 3:21pm On Feb 20, 2017 |
Since I got heartbroken by my wife of 16 years over her doing lots of things which she always condemned when I did those things I realized that women are not worth the fight or stress. I don't hate them but nowadays I see them as trouble ...to save yourself just keep quiet when a woman talks...she will speak, contradict herself, lie and misconstrue anything your response will be...and tomorrow she will never remember she said those things and accuse you of accusing her falsely ...please men don't die for the ladies...do your best and leave the rest...I hope a lady counters these words of mine just to prove they're never stable! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by ipobbigot7: 4:22pm On Feb 20, 2017 |
Madam i will start by correcting the idea of you threaten your maraiage with seperation unless you really wish for it. The two of you should accept responsibility for the roles you play in the quarrels and start making deliberate efforts in first correcting your attitude, manner of response and approach, perspective of each other, disposition and level of tolerance. It's not just you alone your hubby as well, before either of you could correct the other you have to first correct yourself because what either of you bring in to the relationship is what you get from the other. You want respect start giving respect, you wants to be understood try understanding him or her, you want to be tolerated start tolerating, you want to be addressed with soft tone start using soft tone. You two should resolve that no issue will rise without talking it out. Above all give priority to God in the marriage, let His love and his fear rule. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by chy4luv: 11:22pm On Feb 20, 2017 |
ipobbigot7: Thanks for this. Everyone here thinks am a troublesome woman. Both of us are culprits here. When I said I also give him my own share of trouble, I meant I can't keep quiet because I feel irritated and my tolerance level tends to be low at that time of the month. Why won't my husband pass his message across without shouting? And this is when I also flare up. Why don't he talk calmly to me at least in those periods or try not to raise his voice knowing fully well that i will flare up at that period. This is a medical practitioner and therefore he should know better. I have tried to describe everything so that I can get a good advice which is what I seek. In life is good to be fair. There is no point coming here painting my husband bad when I know two saints cannot make a wrong(both of us are responsible). That I suffer from PMS doesn't mean I go about looking for trouble. I don't look for anyone's trouble but I find it hard taking s.h.it I would have normally overlooked. |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by ipobbigot7: 8:06am On Feb 21, 2017 |
chy4luv:I quiet understand you, to me i didn't see anywhere here where you painted your husband black though different people could have a different view of it but i for one see that you sincerely seek solutions to the unnecessary bickering in marriage. My marriage was also in this kind of situation at the early stage and we both were not enjoying it. Men most of the time men tends to assume they can subjugate their wives by unleashing the beast in them on her by shouting her down,is a wrong approach because they only succeed to wake up an equal beast in the woman in response, after all you don't beat a child and tell him not to cry. As i said we were not enjoying the marriage and i think my wife got fed up with with it one day called me to a discussion and told me to stop shouting at her that she's not my maid but my wife and my partner, that shouting will not bring the best of her out for me to enjoy. That was it, my eyes were opened and prayerfully stopped shouting at her, then i realized that one of the way to accord respect to her is to relate with her calmly no matter how wrong she is and with that i can always drive my message in easily. I think you should sit down with your husband and discuss with him too, am sure he also is fed up with the bickering, and i sense you both love each other. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband And I Quarrel A Lot by KanwuliaExtra: 9:48am On Feb 21, 2017 |
Anoda wan don come o! ![]() Dreamers in Nigerian marriages that think ALL CONDITIONS ARE PERMANENT in life. |
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