Is Marriage really the Answer? By Chibee Chuma.

“Ahh…what’s my own; if any man tries any nonsense on me, anyway no man can try that rubbish but if he dares, I’ll divorce him, Straight! I can’t even deal!”
Another way singles put it is…

“It can’t happen to me; God forbid! It’s not my portion but if he raises his hand on me, even once, I’m out!”

For people who think marriage can be treated as an easy come, easy go venture, I am NOT advocating this attitude.

A Single girl wrote me and said, “You are making us 'scared' of getting married”

“Cautious” may have been the word she was looking for, instead of “scared” because Yes, you should be cautious!

It’s important for us to be clear on this because Divorce is IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT MARRIAGE.

I’ve come to own and admit that I started failing from the point of my motive for entering the marriage relationship.
Still, lots of single people these days want to get married. And when you ask…

Why are you getting married?

- “Because I love him”- Love isn’t what it takes to keep a marriage. Knowledge is. Love is more a decision than it is, a feeling.

- “To end this loneliness. I’m so lonely.”- Marriage does not put an end to loneliness. The only answer to loneliness is to experience your own fullness- your best self. Embrace your singleness, please.

It dosent matter what everyone else is doing or what other people think you should be doing but whether you can find someone that fits with who you really are and who would allow you to live your best life.

I hear all sorts…

- “You’re due for marriage”- Biko, what does this mean?

- “You’ve attained a marriageable age”- Which is what age exactly?

- “I’m supposed to be married by now”- Really? By what parameter?

- “It’s good for a woman to get married before age 30 so that she can give birth and have all her kids on time” - According to whom? Onye kwuru?

- “No Time”- Ehen? No time for what?

- “My people are pressuring me”- Very Good! Tell them to come and marry for you. As in, give them the marriage to help you and marry it na. But make sure you don’t end up in a situation where jebe ejebe adighi mma, naba anaba adighi mma (Don’t put yourself in a situation where staying or exiting is very challenging)

When I hear these statements, all I truly hear is DESPERATION looking for VALIDATION.

Women just want to get married; For some of them, the thought of having a ring, an elaborate wedding where they’re the centre of attention as the bride and being able to say, “my husband” is their perception of marriage. It’s far from it, my dear. Very far from it.

If you’re still single, hear this today- IT IS BETTER FOR YOU TO REMAIN SINGLE THAN TO MISS IT IN MARRIAGE. It’s still OK to be single.

The decision to get married, plus your reason for that decision is the point where we EXPOSE OURSELVES TO IMPENDING DIVORCE so don’t go into marriage on a wrong foundation of an understanding of what marriage truly is.

Mata kwa na onye isinkwocha adighi eje ogu e ji okpo anu
(A bald headed man does not take part in a battle where knock is used as major weapon)

Lol @the bald. Man proverb

You are right

It's better to be contendedly single than to be miserable in marriage .

Spot on

Who cares?
Na competition

If you are married, congrats!
If you are single, congrats!
When you die, rise up from the dead and come back to tell the world how far!

Dust to dust single or married.
You will still die and leave all behind.
Amen.

what is the question!

Nice piece, it's because people miss the reasons for getting married that's why we have so many broken homes these days..

It's annoying when people ask "When you go marry na"? or say "You no go do go marry oooooo"... And i'm like WTF, is there a timescale for it? Or maybe when one attains a certain age then automatically you're due for marriage, our mentality though..

So what if some of my peers are married or getting married? Some younger peeps are married as well and some older peeps aren't... Em, You're 30 oooo, you know you're not getting any younger so do make you marry. Lol, as if 30 na d mandatory age and marriage itself na achievement, it's sickening ooooooo..


Marriage will happen when it will so no one should try to pressure anyone for whatsoever reason ooooo, allow people move at their own pace. Shikenah

Realhommie:
Nice piece, it's because people miss the reasons for getting married that's why we have so many broken homes these days..

It's annoying when people ask "When you go marry na"? or say "You no go do go marry oooooo"... And i'm like WTF, is there a timescale for it? Or maybe when one attains a certain age then automatically you're due for marriage, our mentality though..

So what if some of my peers are married or getting married? Some younger peeps are married as well and some older peeps aren't... Em, You're 30 oooo, you know you're not getting any younger so do make you marry. Lol, as if 30 na d mandatory age and marriage itself na achievement, it's sickening ooooooo..


Marriage will happen when it will so no one should try to pressure anyone for whatsoever reason ooooo, allow people move at their own pace. Shikenah

Funny anytime people ask me that question of when u go marry nah? Or when we go come eat rice?

I will reply : Una dey pursue me?

Or if it's a guy? Asking such.. I will reply : do u want to marry me?

He will scratch his head , laugh nervously and say hmm not really.

Then I will cut in: then lemme be abeg. don't be a monitoring spirit

alexialin:





Funny anytime people ask me that question of when u go marry nah? Or when we go come eat rice?

I will reply : Una dey pursue me?

Or if it's a guy? Asking such.. I will reply : do u want to marry me?

He will scratch his head , laugh nervously and say hmm not really.

Then I will cut in: then lemme be abeg. don't be a monitoring spirit

Lol.... Monitoring Spirit aptly describes them oooooo, hehehehehehehehe...


Shuoo, person no fit post pix or do anything publicly in peace again ooo, that question is annoying and at same time embarrassing.. If post pix on fb you go see "Fine boy/man, when you go marry na"? "No do go marry ooooo, dey form fine boy"... I always delete such comments, b4 people go begin get wrong impression...


Last night a female friend called me, she's 24 i think and still hustling to get admission into a higher institution.. She said na so so people wedding you dey attend oooo, no do make you go marry so that people go attend ur own and i was like ok, marriage will come wheb it will come and i'm not under any kinda pressure neither am i desperate.. So i asked her "What of you na, when you go get admission, atleast many people at ur age don graduate, lol?"


You could feel the disappointment in her voice afterwards, she was hurt but tried brushing it off by giving a brave response.. So i told her you see why it's not cool to ask stupid questions, lol..


Their matter tire person abeg.

Realhommie:
Lol.... Monitoring Spirit aptly describes them oooooo, hehehehehehehehe...


Shuoo, person no fit post pix or do anything publicly in peace again ooo, that question is annoying and at same time embarrassing.. If post pix on fb you go see "Fine boy/man, when you go marry na"? "No do go marry ooooo, dey form fine boy"... I always delete such comments, b4 people go begin get wrong impression...


Last night a female friend called me, she's 24 i think and still hustling to get admission into a higher institution.. She said na so so people wedding you dey attend oooo, no do make you go marry so that people go attend ur own and i was like ok, marriage will come wheb it will come and i'm not under any kinda pressure neither am i desperate.. So i asked her "What of you na, when you go get admission, atleast many people at ur age don graduate, lol?"


You could feel the disappointment in her voice afterwards, she was hurt but tried brushing it off by giving a brave response.. So i told her you see why it's not cool to ask stupid questions, lol..


Their matter tire person abeg.

Haba that's too annoying.
The main thing is that wetin concern them? The singles asking someone if when one is getting married. Sometimes I ask them : You as u dey? You dey forbid to marry?? They will then laugh hahahahahah. Then I will also say, marry first, I will follow suit lol.
Bloody morrafuckers
There are other important issues one is trying to figure, na to disturb one with marriage be there problems.

My dear, just take your time.. Am not in a race with anyone. Am on own my lane
Paddling my boat, the way I see it fit.
I can't shout o

It's well jare

Lolz...

alexialin:


My dear, just take your time.. Am not in a race with anyone. Am on own my lane
Paddling my boat, the way I see it fit.
I can't shout o

It's well jare

Na so ooooo, everybody dey run their own race how dem see am fit, no competition in life..

For sure it is well, even in the well. #Peace