Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

U both promised to tell yourselves d truth about ur previous relationships?

He did but u choose to hide d major one, madam endure anything he does now.
Truth is that even if he forgives u, the trust can never be there again.


The bad life u lived is begining to affect u

You made mistakes and the deed is done. To earn the trust of your husband you must quit your job and find another as the first step towards true reconciliation except you get favored at work by your so call 'boss'.\

You are the one threatening your marriage not your boss.
You broke the promise by keeping that secret, I think you should have told him in the first place mind you twice isn't a "JUST"neither is it a "FLING".... Earning his trust again will be very very hard, just start by resigning from your job.

My dear, you have to make sacrifices. If you still work with your boss, your hubby will still belives something is still going on between you two.

Resign and don't show him your resignation letter until he queried you on why you didnt go to office. Show him and tell him you have to do this for your relationship.

The earlier you do this the better for you. Men think deeper than you assume. Soon, he might starr flirting and that signals the danger (hope you understands)

For him to find out himself is a danger on its own. Some peeps would have kept silent and dealt with their spouse secretly. He loves you so much and that was the reaspn why he confronted you. A word they say....

'[b][/b]Just twice'!! I can't read hearts but u don't sound remorseful. What u did is wrong. U need to work hard to earn his trust again. Even if it means quitting ur job to show him he's no. 1 in ur life. Remember.. Trust is like a mirror, if its broken, it can be patched, but u'll still see d cracks... All the best !

Can you imagine, you said its a fling and you did JUST twice....you must have enjoyed it so much and the truth is that you ain't even ready to stop. Guess its even more than twice.... If you ain't ready to be faithful why marry! I just tire for some women.

gbokukueba:
You made mistakes and the deed is done. To earn the trust of your husband you must quit your job and find another as the first step towards true reconciliation except you get favored at work by your so call 'boss'.\

Very Very Important! You must quit that Job.

gbokukueba:
You made mistakes and the deed is done. To earn the trust of your husband you must quit your job and find another as the first step towards true reconciliation except you get favored at work by your so call 'boss'.\

space007:
You are the one threatening your marriage not your boss.
You broke the promise by keeping that secret, I think you should have told him in the first place mind you twice isn't a "JUST".... Earning his trust again will be very very hard, just start by resigning from your job.

[quote author=gbokukueba post=54222634]because the two of u will give her another job abi.. I don't really know how to advise her but i'm pretty sure quitting her job is not the solution to gaining her hubby's trust back. She should continue working there, and prove to her husband that she won't do it again.

How is it your boss threatening your marriage when you have comfortably killed the marriage yourself? It happened not even once but twice and u are here asking y husby doesn't touch u, ma'am the first thing u can do to salvage what's left is to resign from that job, confess whole heartedly so he hears it from you himself, he may & may not accept u back. You have succeeded in driving the innocent man out

[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote]I wish she was your wife... Good man!

Women!!!

Just twice? Woman! Just twice?



U sounded like twice was a small thing... Adultery is adultery. Don't even matter if penetrative sex was involved... As long as u find urself lusting after a man dats not ur husband, u are already guilty of adultery..


Now to d second part, ur husband doesn't trust u anymore. Dats fatal! Believe me.. Once a man can't trust his wife again then there is absolutely nothing she will do that will make him trust her back..

I think maybe the first thing u gotta do is to quit ur job if u really mean u are sorry...

Girls when you tell them not all that glitter is gold they just won't believe u, flings, relationships here and there can't you just be single till the right guy comes. You knew he was married still u went ahead and slept wit him,in your mind u didnt think it will come bk and hunt u. Its best you resign, give your husband time he will come around though at first he might not be so free with u, but if he has a big heart things will go bk to normal or even get better. The thing is aside the present situation he feels ashamed cos his friend and so many other people kn about you escapades,men hate such situations.

Girls when you tell them not all that glitter is gold they just won't believe u, flings, relationships here and there can't you just be single till the right guy comes. You knew he was married still u went ahead and slept wit him,in your mind u didnt think it will come bk and hunt u. Its best you resign, give your husband time he will come around though at first he might not be so free with u, but if he has a big heart things will go bk to normal or even get better. The thing is aside the present situation he feels ashamed cos his friend and so many other people kn about you escapades,men hate such situations.

How exactly did your boss threaten your marriage? He never contacted your husband neither is he still asking you out. You are the cause of your own problems. You told him about your past affairs but conveniently left out the one with your married boss whom you still see everyday. Your husband has every reason not to trust you, I don't even think quitting your job will gain back his trust. I'd advise you to still hold on to the job while you seek for another, recession and inflation dey, jobs are hard to find, your man man may not support you if you're out of work. Don't make things worse for yourself by being unemployed. You have your work cut out for you in gaining his trust back.

dominique:
I don't even think quitting your job will gain back his trust.

my point exactly

Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans





Y'all should take a chill pill
And stop quoting me


Y'all condemning her
Yes we all make mistakes
This is hers and she's willing to correct

So easy to throw jabs at people looking for hope
Like they haven't made mistakes once or twice in their lifetime

Typical!!!

I'm so sorry op but things as you know before will never be the same again.
Karma just stroke; it's stroke damn hard on you, op.
When you were banging your boss you probably pit him against his family...his wife and kids. You contributed to producing a sad home somewhere. Did you think you were gonna get married and live happily ever after?
Nahh. Shiits don't work like that. You know what, I'm not even sorry for you, just sorry for your kid.

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

Yeah, very bad and selfish man, the husband that is. I mean all the lady did was sleep with a MARRIED MAN, TWICE. that shouldn't be a big deal TBH. Dude was supposed to just look the other way and carry on with life as if nothing ever happened.
You are a brilliant human being for looking at it from that angle.

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

Hey dear, forgiveness is not the thing here, but trust. There is nothing to show here that history won't repeat itself again. We all judge by the feeds we get, and this lady had supplied her husband negative feeds. The concern here is how to build his trust back as there is crack already.

Gentle2015:
My dear, you have to make sacrifices. If you still work with your boss, your hubby will still belives something is still going on between you two.

Resign and don't show him your resignation letter until he queried you on why you didnt go to office. Show him and tell him you have to do this for your relationship.

The earlier you do this the better for you. Men think deeper than you assume. Soon, he might starr flirting and that signals the danger (hope you understands)

For him to find out himself is a danger on its own. Some peeps would have kept silent and dealt with their spouse secretly. He loves you so much and that was the reaspn why he confronted you. A word they say....

Pokaaaaaa!!! Baba abeg epp me manage these Heineken...point and kill fish dey on fire fr u

Hmmm. Thanks for all the advise. I was wrong but there's nothing happening again. Although I used to talk to him fondly about my boss and things in the office which I'm sure makes him not want to trust me. My boss was also at my wedding and he gave us presents and cash which he is aware of.

What can I do now? The trust is gone.

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans

This is a person that disrespected someone else's marriage, kept it away from her husband while revealing other affairs. I'm female and I don't think I'd forgive that easily myself if I found from an outsider that my husband slept with a married woman he still works with. I'm not sure if I'll ever look at him with same eye again.

[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote] OP immediately u read dis one i hope u shouted satan get thee behind me!! bet brother u wicked oo..how do u keep d candy unwrapped in front of d kid n expect d kid not to be tempted by it or fall fr it? Stayin n working there wont help her condition o..

KevinDein:

Yeah, very bad and selfish man, the husband that is. I mean all the lady did was sleep with a MARRIED MAN, TWICE. that shouldn't be a big deal TBH. Dude was supposed to just look the other way and carry on with life as if nothing ever happened.
You are a brilliant human being for looking at it from that angle.

[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote]

You are such a child that hasn't experienced life... after the job it's family that will remain...

Dyt:

yeah, you are a brilliant human being. Your first post on this thread has intelligence written all over it. I'm in awe of you, lady.

KevinDein:
yeah, you are a brilliant human being. Your first post on this thread has intelligence written all over it. I'm in awe of you, lady.

I lave you too

But stop insulting me

I can break head