delishpot:


Yeye Dey smell. Girl said she was rapped aunty knower says No she wasn't. Abeg aunty NOAH is it you that consentually slept with her? If not then shit up and do not argue over her story. Do you know how many girls in Nigeria are rapped daily? By boys they befriended, uncles, family friends, dads, step dads and neighbours that NEVER mentioned it? And no one knew because pregnancy did not occure? Some even get pregnant and abort it. Even family members hide it. So why insist she wasn't raped. Madam executor. People like you make rape victims never report the crime you will say they are lying and they prolly asked for it. Shior to think you are a woman sef.

I am a woman, yes.

But haven't you heard about teenage girls who claim they were raped because they are trying to avoid being harshly reprimanded by their families?

Can you verify she was raped?

I guess her word is enough.

delishpot:


Okay, ask her. If she doesn't want the baby later on, or no member of your family wants to take the baby in future, then it's best to give the baby a chance at happy life by giving her up for adoption. Orphanages could be terrible places. No need to keep the child there and never return to pick her soon that could damage a child's self esteem. A whole lot.
So, your family need to decide what you would do. If my daughter has a baby I will not addopt it out if I can help it, and I know my sibblibgs would never let it happen too. But situations and economy influences a lot of things so I understand your delimma.

Thanks dear. I will ask her if she would want the baby later on cuz I know how attached a mother can get with her child no matter how young the mother is. I think the orphanage thing will be temporary as it will give us all time, to properly think and make the right decision afterwards. Thanks Delish

kennygee:


I am a woman, yes.

But haven't you heard about teenage girls who claim they were raped because they are trying to avoid being harshly reprimanded by their families?

Can you verify she was raped?

I guess her word is enough.

I can not hence I did not say she wasn't. Cos I was not there as a witness to the act to say vividly if it was a rape case or not. I responded based on what OP asked. It is not in my place to say girl was raped or not. Same approach you should take.
We we're not called to judge the rape case and even if we were, we would need to hear her own side and the boys side. Until then, you can't dismiss her claim.

This is incredulous, why not spank nonsense out of her? I don't really understand kids of nowadays urge for sex, they are now rotten than rotten tomatoes.

kennygee:


Let her talk to a counsellor, she needs professional advice, after she has been given the pros and cons of her available options, she will be able to decide on her own.

Yea I get you. Thanks

beqs101:



Thanks dear. I will ask her if she would want the baby later on cuz I know how attached a mother can get with her child no matter how young the mother is. I think the orphanage thing will be temporary as it will give us all time, to properly think and make the right decision afterwards. Thanks Delish

Welcome. Be strong. This too shall pass. I know because someone close experienced same 12 years ago(although not through rape)

beqs101:


You don't know me or my family dear so no point hiding behind rape. I just created this thread based on the information i have. And I really can't raise the baby alongside mine cuz,i have a 3year old daughter and pregnant now. I can't handle 3kids all at once,plus my husband might not be ready for this.

and I don't even think you should take care of her baby, only people that have stayed with kids can testify that it's hard work.. more so it might cause problems in your young family. let your sis bear her cross, if she can Bleep and get pregnant and can as well solve her problems,sll you can do is to advise her, pray for her and help her financially. all those saying you should raise yours with her don't even have children and most certainly not married..

ireneblush:
and I don't even think you should take care of her baby, only people that have stayed with kids can testify that it's hard work.. more so it might cause problems in your young family. let your sis bear her cross, if she can Bleep and get pregnant and can as well solve her problems,sll you can do is to advise her, pray for her and help her financially. all those saying you should raise yours with her don't even have children and most certainly not married..

Raising kids is serious hard work let alone 3kids. I'm supporting her through this period the best way I can. Thanks Irene

delishpot:


I can not hence I did not say she wasn't. Cos I was not there as a witness to the act to say vividly if it was a rape case or not. I responded based on what OP asked. It is not in my place to say girl was raped or not. Same approach you should take.
We we're not called to judge the rape case and even if we were, we would need to hear her own side and the boys side. Until then, you can't dismiss her claim.

I disagree, if she wasn't raped, they can't give the child up for adoption. That is a complication already.

I agree with your post. I'm utterly disgusted that this girl said she was raped and some people here are saying she wasn't. No one here was there, neither was I, but at least give her the benefit of the doubt. This is why many rape victims in Nigeria are afraid to speak out. And yes, I agree with you: many guys out there are ready to take advantage of women and some unfortunately fall into their prey. Even if she was sexually active before this occurrence, that does not mean she consented to this act itself or that he did not force himself on her, both of which are instances of rape.

delishpot:


Yeye Dey smell. Girl said she was rapped aunty knower says No she wasn't. Abeg aunty NOAH is it you that consentually slept with her? If not then shit up and do not argue over her story. Do you know how many girls in Nigeria are rapped daily? By boys they befriended, uncles, family friends, dads, step dads and neighbours that NEVER mentioned it? And no one knew because pregnancy did not occure? Some even get pregnant and abort it. Even family members hide it. So why insist she wasn't raped. Madam executor. People like you make rape victims never report the crime you will say they are lying and they prolly asked for it. Shior to think you are a woman sef.

If she was raped, at least one has to ask how it happened and who did it. Was she attacked in the house? was she kidnapped? I don't know but I can't hear "I was raped" and not try to know what went down. If it's her boyfriend that raped her, there's need to pay the young man a visit. She also has to see a counselor.

Rape is traumatic itself talk more of teenage pregnancy.

Let her tell your u who the rapist is so that you can get him arrested. It doesn't seem like she's is ready to raise the child so please give the child up for adoption

let the rapist be brought to book first. she should tell her story to a professional and have the story corroborated.

as for the baby, I think you should hold on on the issue of giving it up for adoption or to an orphanage, orphanage is way worse. let her deliver the baby, the decision can thereafter be made, there is always a bond between mother and child that she might not know now, which makes her think she is not ready to take care of a baby. she might get psychologically devastated after the baby is taking away from her, she might have agreed to give up the baby cos of the reasons you people have made her see or maybe her friends, there are even younger girls who are taking care of their babies not minding their age. all she we mostly need is love and support from family, y'all might regret giving up that baby for anything later. lest she is mentally unstable, I won't advice she give up the baby, that's my point. whatever you want to be giving to an orphanage to use to raise the baby. GIVE IT TO THE GIRL.

beqs101:



My dear Kenny,please understand that I am not the one making the decision. We've had a discussion and she said she can't take care of the baby. Rather than abandon the innocent baby, me and my other sisters older than her are trying to help out by proffering a solution.

So why can't one of your sisters raise the child and you all contribute for the upkeep? So you had rather give up your flesh and blood to a stranger, or put him or her in an orphanage? I thought orphanages were for kids whose parents are dead and don't have family to take care of them. You guys need to pool your resources and take care of the child.

beqs101:


Thanks. U can contact me via my email.

Be. Very careful

beqs101:
Hello family,i'm creating this post because I want help and good advice on what to do. We just found out that,my 17year Old Sister was 7months pregnant last month. She didn't even know she was pregnant cuz,her tummy is still very flat even though doctors have given next month as her due date.

According to her,she was raped by a guy she met some months back and she didn't open up to anyone until now. We have been looking for solutions as to how the baby can be taken care of. I'm married and pregnant at the moment so I'm not even in a position to help her take care of the baby and our mom isn't fit to take care of the baby also.

So we're considering different options like giving the baby up for adoption when he/she is born next month to a good family or taking the baby to an orphanage where we'll be going to drop stuffs from time to time. Please people,this is real and serious so i'll really really want matured advice only please. My sister is in Delta state while i'm in Ph.

Looking forward to reading your advice. Thanks

She hasn't told you the whole truth..
No one gets pregnant without knowing, especially a 7 months pregnancy.
Morning sickness, nausea, lack of appetite, cravings for unusual things are enough signs to trigger her senses into knowing she is pregnant, and she kept it from your family cos she was scared of how you guys might react.
And even if she was raped, she should be able to identify the guy and take up legal action against him..
Please and please don't give out that baby cos she might regret it in future..
Many are out there looking for kids to call their own, many are barren, seeking the fruit of the womb. Take care of the baby if you can.
My one cent

Nancy2016:


So why can't one of your sisters raise the child and you all contribute for the upkeep? So you had rather give up your flesh and blood to a stranger, or put him or her in an orphanage? I thought orphanages were for kids whose parents are dead and don't have family to take care of them. You guys need to pool your resources and take care of the child.

Truthfully, I can't raise the baby with mine. There are so many things one needs to put in place and I don't have those resources right now. We are 4girls in total, the pregnant one,another younger sister who is a bit older than the pregnant one who is still a student,myself,and our eldest sister who is also not ready to adopt the baby. So you see why we're seeking other alternatives?

As for the rape, i wouldn't want to go into so much details here and we're trying all we can to take the necessary actions against the rapist.

All we're concerned about now is how to take care of the baby when he/she is born by looking for ways to manage the situation.

Mynd44 abeg intervene in this family issue ....God bless

Greenrevolt:
let the rapist be brought to book first. she should tell her story to a professional and have the story corroborated.

as for the baby, I think you should hold on on the issue of giving it up for adoption or to an orphanage, orphanage is way worse. let her deliver the baby, the decision can thereafter be made, there is always a bond between mother and child that she might not know now, which makes her think she is not ready to take care of a baby. she might get psychologically devastated after the baby is taking away from her, she might have agreed to give up the baby cos of the reasons you people have made her see or maybe her friends, there are even younger girls who are taking care of their babies not minding their age. all she we mostly need is love and support from family, y'all might regret giving up that baby for anything later. lest she is mentally unstable, I won't advice she give up the baby, that's my point. whatever you want to be giving to an orphanage to use to raise the baby. GIVE IT TO THE GIRL.

You know sometimes, before people take decisions they must have weighed the pros not the cons. Let me ask you this,if you were married or married presently, will you be okay with your wife bringing her younger sister to come live with you with a newborn indefinitely knowing fully well that,you will be responsible for a lot of things as far as the baby is concerned? Even if u would, all men are not the same and my husband won't agree to such. I'm from a broken home so my parents don't live together to say, they both will allow her to live in the house even with her baby.

There are a lot of knots to tie dear,and it's all too much work. I can't start telling everyone about my family cuz you wouldn't even understand where i'm coming from.but believe me,we all want what's best for the baby.

Please excuse my typos.

Keneking:
Mynd44 abeg intervene in this family issue ....God bless

Hian, How will Mynd44 intervene?...

beqs101:


Truthfully, I can't raise the baby with mine. There are so many things one needs to put in place and I don't have those resources right now. We are 4girls in total, the pregnant one,another younger sister who is a bit older than the pregnant one who is still a student,myself,and our eldest sister who is also not ready to adopt the baby. So you see why we're seeking other alternatives?

Though you are here saying you want to help your sister, I am not best pleased with your answers.
Whether she was raped or not doesn't change the fact that a vulnerable new human is about to be born, who is of your flesh and blood and you are discussing the poor soul like something disposable. This is a human being ffs!!!
She is your sister and that baby should be raised within the family. It's not just about today but the childs future.

If you cannot do that, then see if the child can be placed in a loving home with parents who can give the poor mite a chance at making something of him/herself in life. But no orphanage please.

Purpletee:


She hasn't told you the whole truth..
No one gets pregnant without knowing, especially a 7 months pregnancy.
Morning sickness, nausea, lack of appetite, cravings for unusual things are enough signs to trigger her senses into knowing she is pregnant, and she kept it from your family cos she was scared of how you guys might react.
And even if she was raped, she should be able to identify the guy and take up legal action against him..
Please and please don't give out that baby cos she might regret it in future..
Many are out there looking for kids to call their own, many are barren, seeking the fruit of the womb. Take care of the baby if you can.
My one cent

When you post something as important as this, you need to get your facts right. Many women have given birth without knowing they were pregnant.

We can understand having no clue about a surprise birthday party. But a surprise full-term baby? Considering all the physical and mental changes that happen to the typical expecting mom over nine months, it’s hard to get how a woman could be in the dark. Turns out, the phenomenon, known as cryptic pregnancy, isn’t so uncommon but it really is possible for some women to go 40 weeks without having a clue they’re carrying a kid.

beqs101:
As for the rape, i wouldn't want to go into so much details here and we're trying all we can to take the necessary actions against the rapist.

All we're concerned about now is how to take care of the baby when he/she is born by looking for ways to manage the situation.

I won't go ahead and judge you and your family members on your decision to give up the child for adoption. I am a mum and i know that raising a child and in this circumstance 3 kids ain't joke!

What is the guarantee that the child will be well taken care of by the family than the orphanage or any other person? Don't we all read terrible stories everyday about kids being abused,abandoned or murdered by their parents or relatives? So every kid that grew up in an orphanage turned out bad? or every kid who grew up in a family setting turned great?

Is the family ready for such responsibility? Does anyone here know how the child will be taken care of? Is it not Nigeria where everything requires money?

Madame, i will recommend you take this out of here and have a discussion with your family. As long as you have good intentions towards the betterment of that child, do what is best for every party involved.

beqs101:
As for the rape, i wouldn't want to go into so much details here and we're trying all we can to take the necessary actions against the rapist.

All we're concerned about now is how to take care of the baby when he/she is born by looking for ways to manage the situation.

I think, since you all feel this way NOW, it's best to plan to put the baby up for adoption. It would be bad to grudgingly keep this child and bring it up because of "what will people say?". Adoption sometimes is a loving choice (compared to dumping the baby in a soakaway). And I believe I know 2 people, both male, one a teen and another a man almost in his 40s, who are glad till tomorrow they got adopted. I know a lady who immediately upon seeing her new little brother, swore to forever love him (even got his name tattooed on her), and that kid is crazy about his big sis now.

Remember, all these people saying "how can you give up your flesh and blood", piling on guilt, will move on with their lives (by Sunday they will not even recall to enquire about your pregnant teenager) and not be there for school fees, childish rebellions and frustrations which will one day make you in anger think "you that no-one wanted!" (And anger is a normal human response, there is no saint on planet Earth so don't let anyone deceive you otherwise).

If you do end up keeping this baby and supporting your sister, she must do the bulk of the work and you must do your absolutel best everyday to love this child ( you will fail once in a while but dust yourself and keep loving the child).

Placing the baby in an orphanage doesn't sound right to me, you are a mother, you can just get someone to help you when she gives birth and when you give birth to. And may she not have any reason to regret giving up this baby in future because you never what tomorrow will look like. All the same, if you are a Christian, pray to God for directions and for a discerning spirit. God bless you.

Onegai:


I think, since you all feel this way NOW, it's best to plan to put the baby up for adoption. It would be bad to grudgingly keep this child and bring it up because of "what will people say?". Adoption sometimes is a loving choice (compared to dumping the baby in a soakaway). And I believe I know 2 people, both male, one a teen and another a man almost in his 40s, who are glad till tomorrow they got adopted. I know a lady who immediately upon seeing her new little brother, swore to forever love him (even got his name tattooed on her), and that kid is crazy about his big sis now.

Remember, all these people saying "how can you give up your flesh and blood", piling on guilt, will move on with their lives (by Sunday they will not even recall to enquire about your pregnant teenager) and not be there for school fees, childish rebellions and frustrations which will one day make you in anger think "you that no-one wanted!" (And anger is a normal human response, there is no saint on planet Earth so don't let anyone deceive you otherwise).

If you do end up keeping this baby and supporting your sister, she must do the bulk of the work and you must do your absolutel best everyday to love this child ( you will fail once in a while but dust yourself and keep loving the child).

Thank you very much Onegai. I am glad you have an idea of what I meant when I said I can't raise the baby. Thanks for your words.

delishpot:


Do you know OP s financial setting? Do you know her life at home? Do you know if she has help and support? She clearly stated her mom is not in position to help, so she cant count on any one. If you have had a child you will know how important it is to have someone help at the home frobt be it a family member or paid help. She can not get any of those, she is prolly managing her own corner. Have you raised a child before? Its not as easy as you put it. Okay for a start, even you can volunteer to care for the baby. Since it is easy and God would also not want you to turn your back on this child and let it be taken to and orphanage.

Don't mind most people with their holier than thou attitude, They think taking care of a child is easy without physical and financial help.

don't go and drop the baby in an orphanage. look for professional adoption agencies in Nigeria- that way you can meet the potential couple that will adopt the baby. so you're sure they're right to be parents of the baby.

There are couples looking for Children. help them help yourself.


P.s, the fact that your sister still insists on the lie that she was raped and you're indifferent about it shows the kind of family you all.
I can just imagine if I find out my younger sister is pregnant from rape. first I would find that rapist and make sure he rots away, but if she's lying, she go suffer am!!!

Op, I want to adopt the baby.

I will gladly adopt her! be it a girl...