Evaberry:
please leave your brothers family alone

Don't destroy a home by telling your brother
.besides your niece will lose all trust in you if u tell anyone and it might start affecting her later in life(she will lose trust in people)

op let your brother finds out himself or confront the woman

jusRadical:




In this case, swearing secrecy is rubbish. So the secrecy and friendship with the minor is more important than the girl's family?

I will break a friendship to save a soul any day, anytime.

Richy4:


I don't really understand you...what do you mean by is the minor's friendship more important than girl's family

<<<If her father was informed about her mother's promiscuous life style, and the marriage ends, was it gonna affect the child or not?...What soul are you now saving;that of the father or the kid? Do you think the kid will be happy with the aunt?
The kid made her wishes known to an adult...She should respect her wish and find another solution around it...I respect people's wishes irrespective of their age

MotherXmas:
Ours is a very lovely family that most people around us admire. We have always got one another's back right from day one. Don't let me go into much details on that. I relate with my niece (a seven year old daughter of my brother) as if she is my daughter, so she is very close to me. She tells me things and I relate with her as if we are friends. Some days ago, while having some usual conversations with her she told me that there is this dude that her mum keeps seeing and she says she shouldn't let her dad know about him. She told me his name (I won't disclose that here because I know her mum may be reading this) and even described his house down the street. Then she asked me that 'Aunty, why doesn't mum want dad to know him? Is she doing something bad? Dad always tell me to be good to people if I want to go to heaven'. I nearly shed tears when I heard those words from her but I had to hide it and pretend that nothing happened. Now, my concern is that she confided in me that I should not tell her mum or dad. she even threatened that if I do, she will not 'be my friend again'. I love my brother, as a woman, I know a cheating woman is liable to kill her husband, I don't want to lose my brother now. I know some people may advise me to keep silent about this issue and let peace reign in my brother's family, but I want you all to consider the pain and regret that will fill my being when I eventually lose my brother. Also, the psychological effect that this adulterous act from my brother's wife will have on our little girl can never me measured. I feel for her. I need mature advice from fellow Nairalanders on what to do in this situation. I will also appreciate if concerned moderators in this section could also let this post get to front page so as to attract experienced parents, grand parents and marriage counselors to this post. Good enough, my sister in-law is also on Nairaland, she may stumble on this post and change her mind. This can also serve as a sermon to other women doing or planning to do same thing. Your children are not log of wood, they aren't morons, they know and understand what you are doing. As a mother, you are like the engine of a moving train, you move and they follow your path, so don't raise/train another LovePeddler.

Aquariann:


After he must have contracted HIV from her right? Or 30 years later when she confesses she's not sure he's the father of the "second child" By the way, her brother is family too.

Besides, at what point do we stop minding our business? Because this "mind your business", is why so much injustice and evil go on unchecked in our society.

For example, we mind our business when that neighbour tortures their "child-maid" but rather than report to relevant authorities, we wait till the day we wake up to hear the child was beaten to death before we start talking about how the beatings has been going on for long.

The problem with y'all advocate of "mind your business" is that when the tables are turned and you're the ones being short-changed, cheated, or facing one form of injustice, you'll want someone else to speak up on your behalf.

Just last week, a guy created a thread complaining about teen girls below age 17 now openly moving around and sleeping with"idïots" twice their ages. But surprisingly a good number of the (surprisingly female) commenters asked him to mind his business.

Then just yesterday, another lady created a thread about her 17 years old pregnant sister. Perhaps if someone had brought it to her notice the girl was "losing it", she would have said mind your business.

Op, sorry for my rants. But if I were your brother, I'll appreciate to be given a heads up about my wife's possible infidelity

kurlarday:


If your 7 years old daughter confides in you that you should not tell anyone that she swallowed a pin some seconds ago, what matters to you most? The secrecy or her health. You need to tell the doctor, open the secret, save her life and explain the implications to her when her health is restored.

Richy4:


I understand what you were trying to say but the situation at hand if different from the example you have given so far

This is a kid that told her aunt that she wants to tell her something but she should promise not to say it to the father or the mother....which the aunt agreed.....Isn't it wise for the AUNT to look for an alternative solution to deal with it since she has already said she would not tell..

I still maintain that I respect people's wishes irrespective of their age...I guess that's why I was a "go to kinda person"...I will never tell anything someone asked me not to...I have integrity to protect.... For me this is not even an issue for a debate...
If you read my other post I suggested that she can talk to the guy politely to stay clear off the sister inlaw...I said that because i found it to be a special circumstance where integrity is in place ....naturally I will never advise things like that....

olabrad:



Looks like you already made up your mind to tell him. So, why did you come here again for advice on what you have already made up your mind about?

hoover420:


What if the girl told you she was defiled by one of her uncles but she told you not to tell her parents, will you still keep it a secret or tell the parents? Since you've been speaking of confidentiality

What does a 7yr old kid know about keeping promises?
They don't even have real experience about life & you are here sir, talking about "how good you are at keeping secrets" ...
Please let's be realistic here. The wife shot herself in the foot by being promiscuous. You think those that don't fornicate are fools

Richy4:


What you have to understand is that People react differently in various circumstances in life as we journey into this world we are in ...The fact that I try my best to maintain my integrity does not mean anyone else should do the same....We are different and unique,that's what made the world interesting...If you go through my post, you might see where I told the OP to treat my post like I was thinking aloud...

Based on your first question, If a child, say my Niece informed me that some uncle has had a way with her, I will take it up with the uncle..I will not wait for the father...That's me and that's what I will do...No one mistreats my niece like that and goes free....

As for you thinking that a 7 year old knows nothing...Please do not think like that....that was a wrong assumption ...They know more than you can imagine..we all have been there...Have you ever wondered why some teenagers never have decent conversation with their parents?...It's because of something like this...If the Aunt tells the father, do you think whatever happen to her in life that is troubling her she can ever confined in her aunt again?...
As for the wife...I will never support a cheating wife....

Aquariann:


Hello Oga/Madam, Is it that you don't read or comprehension is your challenge? Are you by chance cheating on your partner that you failed to note I'm not the Op because of your anger at my comment?

Even the post you quoted, I called out the Op, stating that I would love to be told if my wife is possibly cheating on me. Yet you still quoted me to spew junk.

poshestmina:
Leave your brother's family alone and face YOURS.let him find out on his own!

MotherXmas:


Yes I am.

poshestmina:
Leave your brother's family alone and face YOURS.let him find out on his own!

Richy4:


I don't really understand you...what do you mean by is the minor's friendship more important than girl's family

<<<If her father was informed about her mother's promiscuous life style, and the marriage ends, was it gonna affect the child or not?...What soul are you now saving;that of the father or the kid? Do you think the kid will be happy with the aunt?
The kid made her wishes known to an adult...She should respect her wish and find another solution around it...I respect people's wishes irrespective of their age

cococandy:
I don't understand how cheating and killing go hand in hand.
Why don't people say a man who cheats on his wife can kill her but rush to say that if the wife cheats or is suspected of cheating.
If this isn't sexism at its peak, I don't know what is. That's BTW though.

As for your predicament, no advice.

I have seen sisters-in-law like you so eager to find faults with their brothers' wives that they jump to the first negative conclusion they can lay their hands on. If you didn't dislike her, the first thing you should have done as an adult is to communicate with her and judge the truth for yourself based on her reaction.

SirVintageCock:
Why not investigate first before blowing the whistle?
There are lots of what ifs here. You wouldn't want to look like a fool by believing that the guy down the street is having an affair your sister in law just because your seven year old niece confided in you.
She may even be innocent, who knows.

Do not be the snitch here rather try to found out what's going. Source personal experience.

Evaberry:
please leave your brothers family alone

Don't destroy a home by telling your brother
.besides your niece will lose all trust in you if u tell anyone and it might start affecting her later in life(she will lose trust in people)

op let your brother finds out himself or confront the woman

MotherXmas:
Ours is a very lovely family that most people around us admire. We have always got one another's back right from day one. Don't let me go into much details on that. I relate with my niece (a seven year old daughter of my brother) as if she is my daughter, so she is very close to me. She tells me things and I relate with her as if we are friends. Some days ago, while having some usual conversations with her she told me that there is this dude that her mum keeps seeing and she says she shouldn't let her dad know about him. She told me his name (I won't disclose that here because I know her mum may be reading this) and even described his house down the street. Then she asked me that 'Aunty, why doesn't mum want dad to know him? Is she doing something bad? Dad always tell me to be good to people if I want to go to heaven'. I nearly shed tears when I heard those words from her but I had to hide it and pretend that nothing happened. Now, my concern is that she confided in me that I should not tell her mum or dad. she even threatened that if I do, she will not 'be my friend again'. I love my brother, as a woman, I know a cheating woman is liable to kill her husband, I don't want to lose my brother now. I know some people may advise me to keep silent about this issue and let peace reign in my brother's family, but I want you all to consider the pain and regret that will fill my being when I eventually lose my brother. Also, the psychological effect that this adulterous act from my brother's wife will have on our little girl can never me measured. I feel for her. I need mature advice from fellow Nairalanders on what to do in this situation. I will also appreciate if concerned moderators in this section could also let this post get to front page so as to attract experienced parents, grand parents and marriage counselors to this post. Good enough, my sister in-law is also on Nairaland, she may stumble on this post and change her mind. This can also serve as a sermon to other women doing or planning to do same thing. Your children are not log of wood, they aren't morons, they know and understand what you are doing. As a mother, you are like the engine of a moving train, you move and they follow your path, so don't raise/train another LovePeddler.

Evaberry:
please leave your brothers family alone

Don't destroy a home by telling your brother
.besides your niece will lose all trust in you if u tell anyone and it might start affecting her later in life(she will lose trust in people)

op let your brother finds out himself or confront the woman