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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? (3273 Views)
Man Exposes Provocative Photos Of His Ex Gf Who Left Him To Marry Another Man... / Pervs Pervs Pervs (images) / Angela Nwosu Slam Ladies Who Complain About Men With Small Joystick (2) (3) (4)
Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by xynerise: 6:39pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
Should I start addressing the ladies who love wearing short dresses or more like short sundresses and still draw it down as they walk because some "cool" guys are staring and drooling? Does it even make any sense? You can't tell the guys to look elsewhere like it is not because of guys you wore it. I went to a party and this young lady was wearing a see-through sundress, knowing fully well she has a massive behind, she didn't even wear a moderate underwear. Of course in every gathering there must be Judas (Perverts). Some guys were just spanking her bums and she started complaining. Nne, what do you expect? Don't expect some guys to be silent when you carry a sexual urge magnetic force with you. Don't harass yourself first before someone else does. And for our uncomfortable wives and girlfriends: Just because we find a member of the opposite sex attractive, doesn’t mean we would have sex with them if we had the chance. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by mazizitonene(m): 6:45pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
valid question |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by brandydaniells(m): 6:51pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
LOL |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by eph12(m): 6:52pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
As in ehn. They wear cleavage revealing, see through tops and short gowns or skirts and expect people not to stare. Like they wouldn't be disappointed if nobody notices. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Nobody: 7:03pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
There's no problem when people stare, after all the eyes are for seeing But then it's a big issue when they now have the guts to touch... that's when the handshake don pass the elbow 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by olayinks007(m): 7:06pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
They believe all dat makes them attractive. Nd if peradventure nobody stares @ them nw, they will belive may b somtin is wrong wit them. U can imagine a married woman still wearing see tru dresses nd showing up cleavages, 4 who abeg?. Whc is why d rate of sexual assualt, adultry, fornication nd even rape is somhw high. Only God can help us men nijare. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Michellla(f): 9:50pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
You can look but you can't touch. |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by bitchcrafts: 11:08pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
Fabulocity:It's terrorism when you attack people with your nudity and still have the gut to reprimand them when they react . 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Busaki: 11:25pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
A woman's body is not a possession for men to claim. Her body is her own, not for your pleasure. You and other men would not receive backlash for going topless, or sagging your jeans, but it somehow becomes a problem when women do so, as if their existence is based on your dictatorship. It is men like you who lack self-control and respect for people's decisions, and you are therefore the problem, not the women. Let people dress the way they feel comfortable. It is their Human Right. 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by 2dice01: 11:52pm On Mar 09, 2017 |
diss days we only have beautiful face with empty brain 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Kaycee7(m): 5:06am On Mar 10, 2017 |
Busaki:Your body is yours, alright. That's why you should guard it because no one else will guard it for you. We don't receive backlash because we don't go to social functions or outings topless. Besides, women are hypocritical about their dressing. You can't dress provocatively and claim it's for yourself. Big f**cking lie. Even when we guys wear stuff that show off our chest and abs, it's because we want to arouse the ladies. We don't deny it and we don't turn down passes. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by xynerise: 8:11am On Mar 10, 2017 |
Busaki: So because the body is yours you can walk the street naked? Men don't/hardly walk the street bare chested unless he wants to get in a fight or just finished fighting . You dress to feel comfortable yet adjust your dress to cover your thigh...confusion is what I call it. 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Busaki: 11:31pm On Mar 11, 2017 |
Kaycee7:Actually, a lot of men do go to outings revealing their chest, or sagging jeans. YOU may not, but a great number of men do. On top of that, you dont receive backlash no matter how you dress because of patriarchal privilege. And if anyone is a hypocrite, it's the majority of men who think this way. Nigerian women in the entertainment industry, for instance, dont receive a lot of publicity when they cover up compared to males who dont even have to worry about such. Again, male singers use female nudity to sell their songs. People like Olamide are more famous than Timi Dakolo, because of his use of nudity in songs, which men buy. I'm not saying I agree with this in terms of context, if fact it makes me cringe, but if men did not demand for such in a discriminating manner, it would not happen. And if you havent yet noticed, it is men like you who are turning nudity into a sexual thing. Africans in general have long embraced parts of nudity in their culture before colonisation. You even see them in artifacts. Why? Because we live in a blazing hot climate! We are not Americans, for goodness sake! Why must we copy everything foreign? Are we not the ones who invented what is now commonly referred to as the "miniskirt"? Do we not reveal parts of our body in certain traditional wears? It's men like you who are turning nudity into a sexual asset, when it never was like that in Africa in the first place, meaning that, once again, you are the problem. Stop borrowing foreign mentality and embrace your own. 4 Likes |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Busaki: 11:35pm On Mar 11, 2017 |
xynerise:Look above ^. And come up with something more critically constructive. At least the guy above you tried. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Kaycee7(m): 11:55pm On Mar 11, 2017 |
Busaki:I don't know which part of Africa you're from. But in Igboland, where I'm from, in the old days, people dressed decently. The young maidens wore an upper cloth to cover their brea5ts and a short wrapper from waist down. Married women wore a long cloth from brea5ts to below the knee. Young men wore a wrapper from waist down and older men wore a long cloth usually knotted at the neck or shoulder. What exactly do you mean by turning nudity into a sexual asset? Don't blame men for women's depiction in the media. I haven't heard any reports that they're forced to wear those outfits and dance at gunpoint. If women had consistently refused to perform those roles, men would stop asking. That the media won't shine a spotlight on you for dressing decently is no reason to dress indecently. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Busaki: 5:56pm On Mar 12, 2017 |
Kaycee7:Define "decency". Like you pointed out, men did not and still do not cover their chest area. Another word used traditionally for what you refer to as "abs" is breasts (as used in, for example, the bible. And I have no idea why you are censoring the word, as if it's a swear word). The difference between the male breast and the female breast is that the female breast is used for feeding children when they have given birth. That is why it swells. And it is ONLY ever used after birth, and stops functioning later. Other that that, would you elaborate to me why the male breast can be revealed freely with no complaints while the female breast cannot be revealed, considering that NEITHER of them are used for reproduction and therefore NEITHER of them should be seen in a sexual way, like patriarchal men usually think? And I SHOULD blame men for women's depiction in the media, since the media is run by MEN. The entertainment industry is run by MEN. The technology industry is run by MEN. The government is run by MEN. You sound somewhat ignorant to the reality of what many women are suffering from. It is men that demand women to act a certain way, walk a certain way, talk a certain way, in order to fit into their patriarchal society. And in case you haven't been reading the news lately, many women ARE forced to dress a certain way. Ever heard of women being forced to wear hats in church? Ever heard of them being forced to wear skirts at work? Ever heard of human trafficking, mate? So it is when men RESPECT the sovereign individuality of women that what you claim to be "indecency" will decrease. It is when men can consider women as equal partners that things will change. It is when men stop viewing women as their cooking possessions, punching bags and sexual objects that things will get better. It is when men view women as HUMAN BEINGS JUST LIKE THEM that a better Nigeria will ensue. Stop blaming the victims of patriarchy for everything. Blame the oppressors. And if you are so offended by what you call "indecency", stand up from your device and actually DO something about it. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by iamrosheed: 11:34pm On Mar 12, 2017 |
Michellla:lol when I see posts like this I can only laff |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Kaycee7(m): 3:40am On Mar 13, 2017 |
Busaki:Both are seen in a sexual way because they're both body parts that cause sexual excitement. Quit your whining and grow up, you big baby. It's not 5000B.C. It's the freaking 21st century. Women could have protested about the media working conditions or refuse to work outright. The men who run the media could choose to dialogue with them or crossdress. You think it's only women that are required to walk and dress a certain way? Ever heard of men not allowed to wear shorts to church? Ever heard of men forced to wear long sleeves to work? Aren't men being trafficked too? It is also when women stop viewing men as their ATM and personal bodyguard that things will get better. If you feel oppressed, do something about it. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by xynerise: 7:11am On Mar 13, 2017 |
iamrosheed: That talk is just so dumb 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by DaySpringer: 7:56am On Mar 13, 2017 |
Someone actually said on this thread "The difference between the male breast and the female breast is that the female breast is used for feeding children when they have given birth. That is why it swells. And it is ONLY ever used after birth, and stops functioning later." I love Kaycee's Replies so Far. OP Women are hypocritical Creatures. They do something for one reason and claim it is for another 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by xynerise: 10:56am On Mar 13, 2017 |
DaySpringer: Exactly my point. I have never heard a guy encouraging a girl to open her breast or reveal her butt just to look good. |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Nobody: 11:00am On Mar 13, 2017 |
Such ladies are just confused beings. Why do something you can't own up to? That's a sign of acute dumbness 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Busaki: 8:13pm On Mar 13, 2017 |
Kaycee7: You need a facepalm, honestly. If they are both seen in a sexual way, why dont we say the same about naked babies? Why is the adult body sexual but not the children's body? There is no denying they have reproductive organs, so what is your point? Cant you see that your opinion on sexual arousal being triggered by unclothedness is taught to you by the society, and not born within you? It is also when women stop viewing men as their ATM and personal bodyguard that things will get better. If you feel oppressed, do something about it. I dont see any man as my ATM. Not even my father. Men see THEMSELVES as an ATM. Men call themselves the head of the home, but what are you heading? Men call themselves the provider of the home, but what exactly are you providing? If a woman is expected to have a job, take care of the children, buy the food from the market, cook and clean, what EXACTLY are men doing in the house? People in marriages have their own mutually agreed way of sharing roles, and that is fine, but when men call themselves providers of the home, and call their wives the caretakers, that should solely be their role, and not shared with the women, because that is what was agreed. If men call themselves the caretakers, and the wives are providers, that should be their role. And if both the men and women call each other the provider and caretaker, they should share the roles equally between them. Which means it should not hurt their male ego if the woman earns more, because the roles have been shared. When men peacefully accept that women can earn more than them, then their male mentality of being an ATM will cease to exist. Quit your whining and grow up, you big baby. It's not 5000B.C. It's the freaking 21st century. Women could have protested about the media working conditions or refuse to work outright. The men who run the media could choose to dialogue with them or crossdress. You think it's only women that are required to walk and dress a certain way? Ever heard of men not allowed to wear shorts to church? Ever heard of men forced to wear long sleeves to work? Aren't men being trafficked too? Now you are truly being completely ignorant. I think you are trolling at this point. I would advise you to go to any thread on Nairaland featuring a woman as the focal point, and tell me you will not see men flocking to the thread to slam her down about the way she dresses, her makeup, her lack of makeup, her big breasts, her small breasts, her weight, her shoes, her mouth structure, her marriage, her singlehood etc. You can never be satisfied, can you? Damned if we do, damned if we dont. You are completely ignoring the fact that women suffer FAR more in their lives than men do, and you act ignorant because their suffering benefits you and your life. You mean to tell me that the number of men are being trafficked is the same as the number of women? How about rape? Is that the women's fault too? How about child marriage? Is that the female child's fault too? How about Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), is that the female baby's fault? How about Domestic Violence? Miscarriages by domestic violence? Is that the unborn baby's fault, or even the mother's fault? You know I can go on and on and on. Because the level of problems men face can not even begin to compare what women face every single day of their lives, BY men. Women do not violate anybody's human right when they wear less clothes, but men DO violate the human rights of women when they use that as a flimsy excuse to commit crime against a fellow human being, just because she is a woman. Get that straight and clear. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Michellla(f): 1:12pm On Mar 14, 2017 |
iamrosheed: |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Kaycee7(m): 8:41pm On Mar 19, 2017 |
Busaki:And I'm the one that needs a facepalm. Sexual attraction is biological. Babies aren't meant to be sexually attractive. That's why normal people are biologically wired not to be sexually attracted to them. Only pedophiles are. I didn't need to be taught anything. My reaction the first time I saw a sexually attractive female, a scantily clad female and a nak,ed female were all instinctive. So, I disagree. Sexual attraction is inborn. I thought we were talking about majority behavior. Because I also don't look down on my mother, sisters and girlfriend. I don't consider any woman as my plaything. I could mirror your above argument in favor of men but I'm not here to play. Any man who calls himself a provider must be a primary breadwinner or his claim would be a lie. In which case, he is expected to be the primary financial provider. What a wife is expected to do in modern times isn't really that black-and-white. Some wives are expected to be full housewives. Some are expected to be working wives. It all depends on the couples decision. While women run market errands, men run bill errands. Some foodstuffs are even traditionally male errands, yam and livestock for example. In Igbo tradition, a man cannot be present and allow a woman to pound yam. It is a job expected of men. Fathers are also expected to play a vital part in their children's upbringing. For everything society expects from the wife, just as much is expected from the husband. I also don't recall my dad sitting around the house idle, waiting for my mum to do everything. A man's partner earning more than him is a personal issue. You can't declare a general rule for it. I think you're the one trolling. You use the rants of uncivilized boys to judge men's opinions of women. Do the people behind those posts strike you as rational minded, intellectually proficient and empathetic people? Do they sound like people who have a life? You need to learn which post to take seriously. Wow, women suffer more than men. Is your life that horrible? I must ask my sisters to enlighten me on their suffering. Nobody's suffering can ever benefit me. You know the worst thing about male suffering?Nobody believes you're suffering and the ones that do will just tell you to man up. People don't believe that molesting boys have psychological effects. Some even feel the boy is lucky or a stud while the poor lad will be dealing with issues from the incident. Men are trafficked, period. The number is just nitpicking. Women don't violate anybody's human right by wearing less clothes but they do test said person's self control limits. Men who commit crimes against women do it because they're monsters and not because she is a woman. Not all of us are your enemy. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies: Why Wear Provocative Dresses But Complain About Pervs Checking You Out? by Busaki: 11:10pm On Mar 21, 2017 |
Kaycee7: I read all you said but bulleting starts to accumulate. 1. Sexual attraction is definitely psychological. Biology (i.e hormones) can influence sexual attraction, but does not control it. No matter how aroused someone becomes, the moment they hear a phone call telling them their beloved ones have died, the sexual attraction depletes instantly, and they usually enter a state of shock and grief. That goes to show that the attraction is in the mind, and is dominantly controlled by the mind. I have found myself to be highly attracted to certain guys, but that does not mean I will go and tie them down to the floor to sleep with me. Why? Because my mind controls my body, and by extension, I control myself. And please dont tell me that men are naturally perverts, because that is abso-bloody-lutely ridiculous. There is no excuse for rape, not now, not ever. 2. It's good that you respect the females around you. It's also good that you pointed out "modern" times. Because traditions change. Some people could argue that the idea of men being "ATMs" came from our traditional beliefs. But now all of sudden many men are complaining about that title. It shows that they want to change that tradition. So tradition is dynamic, not constant. There is more flexibility between men and women and the roles they share in the society today, so tradition is not a valid argument. And about the "women earning more" part, the problem is the men that have this personal issue are usually the ones running their mouths on social media, or even on the streets. That's not a good look for you guys. 3. The problem is, though, that these uncivilised boys are representing the males of the society. And it seems that many people agree with their views, considering the number of likes their posts receive daily. Honestly, women are trying when it comes to letting their voices be heard, because presumably "good" men do not speak against the opinions of these boys, and so it appears that every man are like these people on social media. If you keep silent on these issues, then what's the point of saying "not everybody..."? Because to our eyes, the men belonging in the "not everybody" category virtually do not exist. Evil happens because good people do not speak against them. That is exactly the situation of rape culture. Yes, I am aware of the invisibility of male suffering. Very much so. I have recently experienced such from beloved ones' actions towards themselves, so do not think I do not care about men. But invisibility of male suffering is promoted by men themselves; you cannot deny this. The desire to be confident, stronger and better than woman until they die has caused men to deny that they are also emotional beings, and the constant denial of this leads to depression and suicide. Women are actually quite open to listen to male suffering, because they themselves can emphasise through their own suffering perpetuated by the society (it is only men who fit into the privileged category of oppressors that women will directly refuse to sympathy with, which is normal, because who sympathises with your tormentor?). Men need to start speaking up about this issues faced by them in the society, and I am glad that people of the new generation are using social platforms to get the message across, including women (check BellaNaija or Woman NG and search for articles speaking about male suffering and solutions towards it). However, it is still the women who suffer the most in the world, and that is why men have always had the media to speak out for centuries, but women took over the internet (which was built fairly recently), because it was the first place for them to anonymously talk about their experiences and speak against violence towards them without being killed for it. It does not matter which individual man or woman suffered more; at the end of the day, a group of people who have been oppressed for centuries will end up fighting for justice, at the expense of the individual suffering of the oppressors. That's how it has been between blacks and whites with slavery, that's how it is now between women and men with oppression. 4. I don't know how many times I will tell you that a woman dresses for HERSELF, not for men's eyes. Just like men dress for themselves, and not for women's eyes. Sure, during dates or dress code events, people feel compelled to dress for each other, but that's literally it. Live and let live, people. Goodness me, to think that a simple act like dressing could cause some men to lose their mental thinking capacity. Not all of us are asking for it. And if you (men in general) are so concerned as to whether a woman, based on clothing, wants to have sex with you: Why not just ask? 1 Like |
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