gsainttrinity:


I would like to add one or two to this matter at hand.

firstly I think your wife is cheating on you. it may not be physically or sexually as the case may be, but emotional she is not faithful and her boss is heavily flirting with her if something is not done rightly may end up having bad consequences.

somebody advised you seek for more evidence and confront her with it, even though that may seem a good idea but I disagree.

why wait for evidence before you do something.

what I am saying is you should be proactive.

Your wife is lacking romantic gestures and there is a lull in your affection for her that's why she has time for the opportunist boss.

secondly you are weak when it comes to controlling her.

solutions: endeavor to overwhelm her with your attention. call her every hour and any time at whim.... infact try to set a daily call target of 20 calls per day... you don't have to say much 30 secs is enough for each call. and whenever you call flirt with her. seduce her and general switch your romantic temperature to the limits.

one thing I observed with most women is that they are hardly ever going to be two most important people in her heart which she thinks about. and you been her husband you are naturally going to be who she will choose. just buzz her phone tease her.... bring back your play boy attitude.


solution Two: Be bossy about her choices. when you come and see her make those illicit calls, tell her to switch her phone off an take the phone off her till she goes to work next day.

extend you bossy attitude to every little things but don't be a bully or threaten her.

Make choices for her, make decisions for her. the idea here is that you must be the man she respects.

apply this two methods and other methods of talking with her concerning her ways....... and see how you will win her with ease.

wish you all the best.

I like your first solution, but strongly disagree with the 'solution two', being bossy will give her an excuse to leave her marriage; do not forget the OP said the boss always tells his (OP's) wife of his(boss' ) wife inability to give him a child, so the boss might have been brainwashing the woman to leave her husband's house.

Diplomaticbeing:
The very moment you allowed yourself to be emotionally entangled by your partner, automatically you make yourself powerless in the relationship and indirectly you become a servile. Negative occurrences like the ones you've witnessed so far are usually the after effects. You need to become a no nonsense man since you're certain of your loyalty towards her.

Become a self-willed lover - not a feeble-minded lover you're so far - towards her and see her change for good self-willedly too. Her change for good though would depend on whether she's still committed to your marriage union with her. I say demand for a profound mental change from her not a superficial face-lift, this shouldn't be an ultimatum per se but a demand for her own good, which will automatically leaves her with a choice to make. . . Never deny anyone freewill. And begin to tell yourself the truth that no human being is indispensable in your life. In the event that she fails to embrace a profound mental change, you take any action that will best suit you.

One funny thing about petty people is that they are always quick to initiate mind games but they are bad losers - they never embrace sportsmanship after their perpetual loss. Disingenuously allow them to go away with their shenanigans, you see them erroneously believe that truly they're smarter and more wicked than you're. Resist them and see them resort to disparaging and denigrating you. Then, reciprocate/mete out to them their negative attitudes in equal and opposite proportions and see them cry murder/victim. Pettiness sucks.

I bow to ur wisdom dude......

[quote author=chidekings post=54719747]
U are the immature one with this your post.
Oga abeg....no make me vex....

ikechkwuegone:
Good day Nairalanders, I will like to be brief and specific.I am happily married with kids and we based in Eastern part of the country.

I and my wife work and contribute to the well being of the family.Some months ago I started noticing my wife's body language when ever she is on phone with her boss by been blushing like a single girl talking to her boyfriend.

Secondly the same Boss bought her a phone, which I did not take serious, thinking it will make the official communication between them more easier.

I also noticed that my wife always chat with this same boss and hardly leave her phone carelessly which prompt me to check her chat conversation with the same boss.She doesn't leave their chat history on the phone.

Last week I accidentally checked her chat with the man , I was very surprised when I saw Her boss referred to my Wife as "My Baaby" at d beginning of their conversation and some other words like "Dear ao re u".

I confronted my wife, it was very difficult for me to confront her because I don't want the trust between us spoil.When confronted she gave me two answers, that Her calls every female staffs My Baaby, secondly that the message was mistake frm Her boss that it wasn't meant for Her that was why she didn't reply.I believed Her and we move on.

Two days ago I came back frm work and I met my wife lying down on the bed with phone conversation, instantly my wife change what they were discussing.I asked my wife what they were discussing but she stammering.
The same man do tell my wife about his wife inability to conceive the second child for him.

With all these instances I am totally confused and devastated. I love my wife so much , I can't wait for d worst to happen between her and d man, she is making keep suspecting her.

I am a very loyal to her, I bnever cheat on her, she is everything to me, I don't see her wife but a friend and confidential.

Married nairalanders I really need your advice on how to handle this before my happy home will be ruin, Almighty Lord will bless your home as u give me ur candid advice

Employ a private Detective to get you all the information, pictures and evidence you need to clear your doubts or ascertain them

LePrezident:


Why should he get the boss' number and bark at him? That shows signs of weakness, it is his wife he has a marital contract with. ConfrontING her, yes. But in a civil way, because love cannot be forced. And I tell you what, it is a thrilling experience for her that's why she's doing whatever she's doing so either op steps up his adventure game to make her look his way or he just moves on.

Op must begin to show character of an alpha male, he shouldn't begin to feel like he's at the mercy of his wife's whims and caprices. He should get his swag on and become lively, make friends with the opposite sex too, hang out with friends. If that doesn't jolt his wife senses back then I don't know what will and if he catches his wife cheating, a simple divorce will do. No time to be getting violent and agitated and warning people to back off. Life is too short to be wasting energy on people who want to do what they want to do regardless.

Are u married? Have u seen an eagle descending with aim to pick a chick? Is the reaction of the mother to the eagle civil?

ikechkwuegone:
Good day Nairalanders, I will like to be brief and specific.I am happily married with kids and we based in Eastern part of the country.

I and my wife work and contribute to the well being of the family.Some months ago I started noticing my wife's body language when ever she is on phone with her boss by been blushing like a single girl talking to her boyfriend.

Secondly the same Boss bought her a phone, which I did not take serious, thinking it will make the official communication between them more easier.

I also noticed that my wife always chat with this same boss and hardly leave her phone carelessly which prompt me to check her chat conversation with the same boss.She doesn't leave their chat history on the phone.

Last week I accidentally checked her chat with the man , I was very surprised when I saw Her boss referred to my Wife as "My Baaby" at d beginning of their conversation and some other words like "Dear ao re u".

I confronted my wife, it was very difficult for me to confront her because I don't want the trust between us spoil.When confronted she gave me two answers, that Her calls every female staffs My Baaby, secondly that the message was mistake frm Her boss that it wasn't meant for Her that was why she didn't reply.I believed Her and we move on.

Two days ago I came back frm work and I met my wife lying down on the bed with phone conversation, instantly my wife change what they were discussing.I asked my wife what they were discussing but she stammering.
The same man do tell my wife about his wife inability to conceive the second child for him.

With all these instances I am totally confused and devastated. I love my wife so much , I can't wait for d worst to happen between her and d man, she is making keep suspecting her.

I am a very loyal to her, I bnever cheat on her, she is everything to me, I don't see her wife but a friend and confidential.

Married nairalanders I really need your advice on how to handle this before my happy home will be ruin, Almighty Lord will bless your home as u give me ur candid advice

I read your story with awe & disgust.. Am so sorry, there is an interplay in your mind, But this is my humble Truth

1. Your wife is almost gone
2. Handle this matter with wisdom because you have no proof to nail her
3. You're jealous of her boss
4. Your wife is changing rapidly to his overtures
5. I advise you to pray for God to heal your heart n mind, and your wifes
6. Show her Love not resentment
7. Don't involve 3rd party

Nma27:
You are just a plain old fool consumed by your misery.. Wicked idiot. The op should turn his marriage upside down na. Instead of u to advice him, you are here spewing thrash... Anuoofia

DO U HV SAME MIND? PLS SPK OR POST D TRUTH U CAN DECIPHER FROM D OP PRESENTATION. D WIFE IS TRULY BEYOND HER SELF. U CAN NOT DENY D FACT THAT HER AFFECTIONS IS TORN APART ALREADY AS AT THIS MOMENT. HE NEEDS TO WORK VERY HARD ON HIS MARRIAGE TO RECOVER IT FULLY. AM AGAINST DIVORCE EVEN SEPARATION BUT TRUTH HEALS FASTER. WE SHOULD NOT SHIELD HER OR SHY AWAY FROM SAYING D TRUTH. D EVIDENCE IS THERE.WE ARE MARRIED PEOPLE AND COUNSELLORS WITH EXPERIENCE. ONCE A MAN OR WOMAN AFFECTIONS ARE TAMPERED WITH OR COMPROMISED IT SHOWS FORTH,EXCEPT U ARE DAFT,CLOSED MINDED AND ETERNALLY BLIND. PLS LEARN. WE ALL SHOULD PROTECT OUR MARRIAGES & BE KNITTED TOGETHER IN LOVE AND LIFE.

I'm sorry bro, but its clear something is up between your wife and her "boss" and deep down you know it but just in denial.

it's a cruel world and most men in the smallest position of power take advantage of women with a little bit of encouragement (in your wifes case a mere phone). this is simply a case of a man with more bullying the little guy and your wife infatuated with the sort of person that you are not or would want you to be.

you already messed up by allowing another man buy your wife something as personal as a communication device.

your wife doesn't respect you or regard you in the slightest and will do what she's going to do regardless of whether you break her SIM or ask her to quit her job.

you have 2 options -

1. you can either forgive her and work on the relationship

2. walk away or else you'll cause yourself unnecessary anguish and do something you'll regret in anger/frustration I.e domestic violence

p.s NO PROFESSIONAL CALLS HIS MEMBERS OF HIS STAFF "BABY" , I doubt if he calls his house help or office cleaner baby.

At the end of the day you're the only person that truly knows the sort of person you married and you have to live with her.

I strongly recommend you speak to a member of her family you are close to.

most importantly do not act in anger.

chronique:
Read her the riot act and tell her you wouldn't hesitate to throw her out if she messes up. Be very stern and serious when talking to her. After that, don't say too many words to her. Watch her behavior after that.

i agree with u. he shuld stop behaving like a boy in his own marriage
. be very stern with her.

also , i will advise u call the boss on phone and talk some sense into him. tell him u don't entertain anything romantic talk with ur wife.

lastly. tell ur wife to either return that phone or return to her fathers house


. so long that phone gift is their, she will be always be psychologically indebted to that man. she feels indebted to reply his chat or call.

you shuld be this stern becos this is marriage not relationship. u done put money for her head already. how can u be formimg gentle man and watch another ma. collect what u paid for.


if she insists on keeping the phone and continue those secret conversation then go behind her back to her father and tell him . and tell him u want to return his daughter . he will surely call her to order.

make sure u stamp ur authority in a respectful way.. stop acting childish in ur own marriage.

if na me eh. if i call that useless boss and talk sense into him eh. him nor go ever try am call that number again.

wait oh. op i dont understand . you mean u are so cool to the extent u sit down and watch ur wife laughing and getting all romantic with anoda man who she is not biologically related to ?? mehn u be mr fvck up oh.

see fvck up 2.0 lastest and upgraded version . lol

emerged01:

Are u married?

No, but had a long relationship with a lady who was innocent when I met her and later cheated. Taking stock of the whole relationship gave me an eye-opener about women. And trust me, the theory I discovered about women since that incident has never failed.

Note op, your wife is deeply into relationship with her boss and only God can save this. Also, you are a weak man as you have used the so called "I love her so much" to weaken yourself. You are a manager of your home and have failed to handle this issue rightly.

For me, I cannot take it for once talk less of watching her chat and also delete her chat history. what a fvck.Well, you do not have a wife for now. You are living with a cheat.

DARLING I AM SORRY. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. I CAN EXPLAIN. This is the kind of shit I hate from a woman when she's finally caught. She can explain but she failed English in her WAEC and she can xplain when she cheat

No wonder I sawed your wife and her boss five days ago at touch your toes hotel. Hmmmmmmmm oga no be me go tell you sey somebody Don fetch water from your well o

ikechkwuegone:
Thanks, I really appreciate the contributions.

doz it need to be printed boldly on a large billboard... Obviously, your wife is cheating

BobbyDean:
your type is not needed here. Shameless man.

I pray u dont learn d hard way

solidman59:

Seriously ?? So you are now blaming the guy for marrying her?? You should really not comment here.

Op I can bet my life that she's definitely cheating. I think you should take your decision based on this. There's no way in hell that she's not cheating. What I don't understand is how you can't see it. Such women irritate me

my broda. leave blind people. i am with u. i can bet anything on it.

Danty37:

are u stupid?

I pray learn d hard way

The evidence you have is enough for you to know she is cheating on you but as you said you love her very much first take her to eatery and have a chat with her well ask her If There's anywhere you offend her so that you Can make amendment but if There's no any explanation then stop her from that work and change her sim though that does not stop her but will reduce the passion she got with her boss

ikechkwuegone:
Thanks, I really appreciate the contributions.

Message me on whatsapp.... 08129078105

The boss has been making sexual advances but your wife has not fully agreed, they've been exchanging nude that I'm sure of.

Don't confront the boss, just get good "Magun" otherwise known as "Thunderbolt".


You will share your testimonies.

gsainttrinity:


I would like to add one or two to this matter at hand.

firstly I think your wife is cheating on you. it may not be physically or sexually as the case may be, but emotional she is not faithful and her boss is heavily flirting with her if something is not done rightly may end up having bad consequences.

somebody advised you seek for more evidence and confront her with it, even though that may seem a good idea but I disagree.

why wait for evidence before you do something.

what I am saying is you should be proactive.

Your wife is lacking romantic gestures and there is a lull in your affection for her that's why she has time for the opportunist boss.

secondly you are weak when it comes to controlling her.

solutions: endeavor to overwhelm her with your attention. call her every hour and any time at whim.... infact try to set a daily call target of 20 calls per day... you don't have to say much 30 secs is enough for each call. and whenever you call flirt with her. seduce her and general switch your romantic temperature to the limits.

one thing I observed with most women is that they are hardly ever going to be two most important people in her heart which she thinks about. and you been her husband you are naturally going to be who she will choose. just buzz her phone tease her.... bring back your play boy attitude.


solution Two: Be bossy about her choices. when you come and see her make those illicit calls, tell her to switch her phone off an take the phone off her till she goes to work next day.

extend you bossy attitude to every little things but don't be a bully or threaten her.

Make choices for her, make decisions for her. the idea here is that you must be the man she respects.

apply this two methods and other methods of talking with her concerning her ways....... and see how you will win her with ease.

wish you all the best.

I AGREE BUT PLS DON'T BE INSECURE AND DON'T SHOW THAT U ARE NOT SECURED AND JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS. ITS TRUE U HAD GIVEN HER TOO MUCH SPACE BEFORE NOW. HOPE UR NEEDS AT HOME ISN'T OVERWHELMING FOR HER.DOES SHE SHOW GREED OR ATTITUDE REVEALING LACK? GET SURE COUNSEL. U LOVE HER,UR HOME AND MARRIAGE. GOD WILL GIVE U VICTORY OVER THIS DISTRACTIONS.

ikechkwuegone:
Thanks, I really appreciate the contributions.

""The same man do tell my wife about his wife inability to conceive the second child ""


If you can not make your wife to quit her job because of financial contribution in running of your home then put it to her and make it bold that the paternity of your unborn children will be examined henceforth


If you don't do that she would conceive for her boss and deceive you into believing it's your child...Some women does that for material benefits
.

DLondonboiy:
Calm down my brother, I'm sure you are overreacting.

Take your wife out tomorrow, maybe to a fine restaurant, and talk to her..She's your wife, so I believe you can talk to her.

Ask her if the tables were turned and you are the one always calling another woman, chatting with another woman and all whatnot, ask her how she would feel?

Her response would tell you the next line of action to take...

eshunnnn story...n u tink dat trick will change anytin..? if i hear...evn if she tell u dat she will b angry if u call anoda woman baby.my brother fear woman...d moment dem meet anoda new bobo dey will automatically become mumu...anytin u say to her is voicemail...wetin just dey her mind na how to package herself d next day go meet her new bobo...fear womennnnnn tufiakwaaaa.

Yes, no be wetin u wan hear

if we tell u yes or no, it change nothing you've in mind to her. Be a real man dnt

DLondonboiy:
Calm down my brother, I'm sure you are overreacting.

Take your wife out tomorrow, maybe to a fine restaurant, and talk to her..She's your wife, so I believe you can talk to her.

Ask her if the tables were turned and you are the one always calling another woman, chatting with another woman and all whatnot, ask her how she would feel?

Her response would tell you the next line of action to take...

Kai my Guy,u get sense,i just hope dis ur sense go work 4 ur marriage if a similar situation like this occurs,cuz jealousy is an uncontrollable n devastating feeling

myfantasies:


U dis pathetic being

U have decided to be a wife beater, nd dat is how ur daughters will be beaten by dere own husband's for no reason, after all d Bible said that d sins of the fathers will be visited on dere children, so dat is how ur own sins will be visited on ur children

And please if you don't have anything enlightened to say to me den i will really appreciate it if you don't mention my moniker again

POTENTIAL WIFE BEATER

dont curse me pls I like u a lot. I neva like a woman to get beat by her man bit sometimes ur hands are tied. wat d woman is doing is bad giving him pains u all are cursing me but none of u condem d lady for wat she did lovelygurl dangotesmummy

Nma27:
Op its best not to assume, there might b nothing going on between them. Don't allow d devil spoil d beautiful thing u guys have going pls

look at them, you think he can come to public with assumption, that is how you cheat and pray never to be caught, nonsense

listen here, if what he said is the truth, it means his wife is enjoying the company of another man, he may not have evidence but it wont be long he will see worst.

You ladies should stop thinking that you are smart.

Joy1706:

Its like you're mad. Why won't she cheat when she meets a man who shows her love. How will the beating stop the cheating? And even if she cheats, so what? Men cheat on a daily basis without being beaten for it? Why shouldn't a woman do same? Pray you dont meet a woman like me ooooo. My brother, pray hard.

so now its ok for a girl to cheat abi if u are my girl u will enjoy me cos I av a heart of gold

LePrezident:


No, but had a long relationship with a lady who was innocent when I met her and later cheated. Taking stock of the whole relationship gave me an eye-opener about women. And trust me, the theory I discovered about women since that incident has never failed.

I am married. Bros,marriage institution is another different world. I courted my wife for 13yrs before getting married 2012. The first year of our marriage was nothing to write about even after years of courtship. Thank God for His Grace. When you want to marry just a pray for a woman that have the fear of God at heart. If a woman is God's fearing you have nothing to fear. The fear of God she has,will instill discipline in her and help her to please you in all ways.