I have seen people who claimed to be in love with themselves before marriage but you see them having a lot of disputes after getting married, I ask myself why this should be, I ask if it is still the same two people who used to do things together, who used to show love in different ways, all of a sudden at the time when the love is supposed to be at climax, they start having problems they never used to have before marriage, things then change, they then change.

Well what I think that causes this is that most people in relationships don't pay attention to necessary details about their partners.

Nairaland veterans and geniuses over to you, what do you think brings this bitterness into marriage between two people who have claimed to be lovers before their marriage

Nothing lasts forever, love is not enough to keep a marriage, a couple also has to be compatible in many other aspects

Courtship is filled with lots of conceit, deceit and pretense. Some people are bad, very bad but they wanna get engaged and married. They know no one will settle for them with their bad attitude so guess what? They decide to pretend to be a better person, just to be able to attract and fool that partner.

After marriage there's no reason to keep on playing the expensive hide and seek again, they unleash. Ladies and gentlemen be watchful cos you'll surely see signs while courting, don't dismiss it as a mistake. Bless

no more pretending and formings, reality sets In

missdashin:
no more pretending and formings, reality sets In

exactly. It's always good for intending couple to live 2geda for awhile before getting married. Just saying.

@ OP. It is because love is blind while marriage is an eye-opener.

lol.. after marriage, you'll realise you've just been scammed..

missdashin:
no more pretending and formings, reality sets In

Why does one have to pretend to be in love with someone you have not ever loved

They say not the lack of love but the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.

Chongaiman:
@ OP. It is because love is blind while marriage is an eye-opener.

lol. Kudos. #quote

A lot of things contributes to the reasons why people have disputes during early stage of marriage, and if not properly handled can lead to divorce, Let me use my next flat neighbor as an example.
While they were courting, the guy was resident in Benin,while the lady was in Lagos,so it was a once in a while visiting thingy and mostly a social media relationship, then finally they agreed to settle down which they did.
few months after cohabiting ,they starting quarrelling, from quarrelling to ,constant fights ,the lady has made several attempts to pack out of the house and even d guy said he's fed up too.
This is due to d fact that, during courtship, they thought they understood themselves,which they never did,now she has found out that her hubby smokes,likes hanging out with single guys,a die hard football freak,always stuck to his phone and womanizes according to her.Meanwhile the guy says she's too Nagy and loud,she can't cook,she's lazy, always policing him etc,These are stuffs they never divulged, during courtship.

That is because courtship is pencil,which can be cleaned off..marriage is permanent marker...no room for mistake....that is why it is advisable to take your time well and be careful before marriage. Don't look at your mates or your age....you have to be ready..marriage is serious business!!!!

One of the major reason why i will not marry my gf

when tyme to marry reach i go just go another place find girl wey i never do things with before

Tajbol4splend:


Why does one have to pretend to be in love with someone you have not ever loved

not about the feelings per say but about character and attitude, overlooking something's, thinking they will change etc

ReneeNuttall:
A lot of things contributes to the reasons why people have disputes during early stage of marriage, and if not properly handled can lead to divorce
This is due to d fact that, during courtship, they thought they understood themselves,which they never did,now she has found out that her hubby smokes,likes hanging out with single guys,a die hard football freak,always stuck to his phone and womanizes according to her.Meanwhile the guy says she's too Nagy and loud,she can't cook,she's lazy, always policing him etc,These are stuffs they never divulged, during courtship.

May God bless you my sister.. Marriage opens people's eyes to reality while courtship may not

tosyne2much:
Marriage opens people's eyes to reality while courtship may not

Exactly

YourImaginaryBF:
They say not the lack of love but the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.

Absolutely you right

ReneeNuttall:
A lot of things contributes to the reasons why people have disputes during early stage of marriage, and if not properly handled can lead to divorce, Let me use my next flat neighbor as an example.
While they were courting, the guy was resident in Benin,while the lady was in Lagos,so it was a once in a while visiting thingy and mostly a social media relationship, then finally they agreed to settle down which they did.
few months after cohabiting ,they starting quarrelling, from quarrelling to ,constant fights ,the lady has made several attempts to pack out of the house and even d guy said he's fed up too.
This is due to d fact that, during courtship, they thought they understood themselves,which they never did,now she has found out that her hubby smokes,likes hanging out with single guys,a die hard football freak,always stuck to his phone and womanizes according to her.Meanwhile the guy says she's too Nagy and loud,she can't cook,she's lazy, always policing him etc,These are stuffs they never divulged, during courtship.

I sense a reason here, inability to make sacrifices to make the marriage work

Tajbol4splend:


Absolutely you right

lots of people cannot stay in a long committed relationship with just one person. that is why we have so many breakups.

ReneeNuttall:
A lot of things contributes to the reasons why people have disputes during early stage of marriage, and if not properly handled can lead to divorce, Let me use my next flat neighbor as an example.
While they were courting, the guy was resident in Benin,while the lady was in Lagos,so it was a once in a while visiting thingy and mostly a social media relationship, then finally they agreed to settle down which they did.
few months after cohabiting ,they starting quarrelling, from quarrelling to ,constant fights ,the lady has made several attempts to pack out of the house and even d guy said he's fed up too.
This is due to d fact that, during courtship, they thought they understood themselves,which they never did,now she has found out that her hubby smokes,likes hanging out with single guys,a die hard football freak,always stuck to his phone and womanizes according to her.Meanwhile the guy says she's too Nagy and loud,she can't cook,she's lazy, always policing him etc,These are stuffs they never divulged, during courtship.

I have seen couples who courted for 10years only to get married and break up months later. There are alot of responsibilities that come with getting married that most new couples will have a hard time facing

YourImaginaryBF:
lots of people cannot stay in a long committed relationship with just one person. that is why we have so many breakups.

You know having more than one gf or bf can be of an advantage sometimes but when one is doing it for the right reason

YourImaginaryBF:
I have seen couples who courted for 10years only to get married and break up months later. There are alot of responsibilities that come with getting married that most new couples will have a hard time facing

yes, u r right

Tajbol4splend:


I sense a reason here, inability to make sacrifices to make the marriage work

yes,both of them can't tolerate themselves.

Marriage is sweet when u allow Christ to lead u.
Jesus Christ , prayers and mercy are d ingredients

When spouses learn 2 let go (forgive) and look into d future, blive in each other...... Life's sweet.

Tajbol4splend:


You know having more than one gf or bf can be of an advantage sometimes but when one is doing it for the right reason

you'd be telling yourself a lie. Staying in one relationship prepares you and makes you the committed type. you cannot stay in a committed relationship when you go about double dating

ReneeNuttall:


yes,both of them can't tolerate themselves.

A reason why I would not marry someone I can't tolerate for all Bill Gates money

Tajbol4splend:


A reason why I would not marry someone I can't tolerate for all Bill Gates money

Truth is people sometimes hide their true identity, till after marriage. You know that u can't know everything about someone until u start cohabiting with d person.

YourImaginaryBF:
you'd be telling yourself a lie. Staying in one relationship prepares you and makes you the committed type. you cannot stay in a committed relationship when you go about double dating

You end up with the better and stay committed to him or her

ReneeNuttall:

Truth is people sometimes hide their true identity, till after marriage. You know that u can't know everything about someone until u start cohabiting with d person.

Then if that is the case, divorce is an option

Satan is never happy with any great home established.

Bitterness reigns wen d devil gets a foothold in d home. Pray for each other,
Victory is ours.

*#dmovie[b]War room[/b]isTouching#

Tajbol4splend:

Then if that is the case, divorce is an option