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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Jobs/Vacancies / How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview (24313 Views)
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How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 3:05pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
I made my first public speech when I was 15, and in JSS2. That was in a debate activity, a contest between SS3 and SS2 students. The competitors failed to impress our English language teachers. This made the teachers lambaste the senior students, and asked if junior students had anything to say. Like our proverbial Akpos, I walked out of the crowd with that gait suggestive of a clown's shameful confidence, and consequently threw my classmates into uncontrollable laughter. Their action was understandable, because I had hitherto paraded myself as a newscaster, who, during one of my comic sessions, had aired the news in which a commercial airplane caught fire in space, and no one was injured in the slightest. They couldn't think of it that I had taken the debate topic to my uncle, who was a teacher. He wrote a nice argument for me, and I rehearsed it with fervour. I unleashed such a mastery that dazed everyone present. Having tasted the thrill of the achievement, I started gathering resources on public speaking, and Mark Twain, Napoleon Hill later became my heroes. I trained myself more on the speech strategies that give pastors the hedge over their contemporaries. At 20, having led prayer sessions on many occasions in my local church, our pastor informed me that God has called me into the five-fold ministry with pastoral calling. While in the university, I read works from great people like Plato and Socrates, and consequently discarded my Christian ideals entirely. It was then I explored Satanism and other faiths until I concluded that I'm the god I've been looking for all these while. As an animal scientist, I lost interest in that field, and was looking for a job that has to do with public speaking until an advertisement was made for the post of a chaplain in a psychiatric hospital. Certification was required, diploma in theology would suffice. I have nothing of that nature, but flaunted my two-time pastoral experience in two of the largest churches in Nigeria. I sat down alone, and all questions the interviewers -- all Reverends -- would likely ask me came into my subconscious mind in flashes. "Why do you want to work as a pastor, knowing full well this job should not be based on ambition?" The organization's president began. "I understand that God seeks three kinds of people. They are the sinners, people after His own heart (like David) and those that will stand in the gap and pray. By 'election', I fall into the third category", I replied, citing Ezekiel 22:30. "The moment you read our advert, how did you feel in your body?" Another reverend fired. "That still small voice from the Holy Spirit made it clear to me that I'm needed here", I answered, having read Benny Hinn's The Anointing, Kenneth E. Hagin's Holy Spirit and His Gifts, and Yonggi Cho's Holy Spirit My Senior Partner. "If you are given the post, you will be liable to insults or assaults by our psychiatric patients from time to time. Will you be able to handle this?" "I have worked before in a farm where we had a cow suffering from madcow disease. You would not need to be told that the flaccid disposition the horned herbivore was known for had deserted it. I wouldn't see the attacking cow as a traducer. I only have to be wary of the zoonotic form of madcow disease, which we in animal science call variant Creutzfeldt Jacob Disease(vCJD). In our case here, not all clinical cases are natural, and with my authority as a believer, I will put to flight the armies of the aliens. This will be done by faith, because 'By faith, the elders obtained good reports'", I answered. Smiles and giggles rented the whole room as the clergymen almost lifted up their 'holy hands in worship.' "How much are you willing to accept as your salary? Can you work for God free of charge, knowing full well that He made you for this purpose?" With split-second precision, I quoted ICorinthians 9:13 and said, "'Do you not know that those who labor in the Temple are provided for from the Temple, and those who serve the altar share in the altar?' Having reeled out this Scripture, I don't have to explain it for my betters in faith." I was given the appointment letter the following day. Other theologians interviewed told me how they threw questions pertaining to theology at them, but 'my case was different.' I will be showing you hidden public speaking rules personalized to suit various individuals and my personal experience in my next write-ups. To succeed in public speaking, you need to believe you are the only living thing on earth, while all other things are robots. That means you take responsibility for your failure to thrill the crowd of accolades and hangers-on. http://speakersspell..com/2017/03/how-i-held-pastors-spellbound-during.html?m=1 32 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 3:05pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
Ask me anything about public speaking. 2 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by tolugar: 3:09pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
Hmmmm Pastoral interview !!! I thought that job is a call from above ie na God dey do the interview. 27 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by ikp120(m): 3:36pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
Guy you be real case ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Thepasserby(m): 5:07pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
B2Spirits: Well done ooo... Keep flaunting your muscles and feathers until it gets plucked. If you enter the pastorial work without being called you will be rejected. It's a too thin that your pastor told you that God has called you into the pastorial ministry but have you heard from God personally? Being a pastor is not all bout reading a text and interpreting, it goes beyond leading prayer sessions at being an erudite speaker. It is a relationship. Three conclusions I have drawn from you speech. 1. You are full of yourself and that's definitely not a trait a pastor should have. Boast in the thinthings that shows God's power and not prove your intelligence. 2. You don't have the slightest idea of what you opted in for. Men who stand in the gap are men of devotion to God. Who are you standing in the gap for, why and how can you do that? These are questions you should ask yourself. 3. You are looking for food and not the one who provides the food. Please I am just airing my view. I have already forgiven anyone who will come and insult me. 105 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 6:35pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
Thepasserby: I'm still not a pastor. Just deriving fun from public speaking. 19 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 6:42pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
2 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by savagefinder: 11:56pm On Mar 26, 2017 |
B2Spirits:why is Dino melaye saying he has 7 certificates and his name is .missing in ABU website 9 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by marvelling(m): 1:15am On Mar 27, 2017 |
B2Spirits: I have no idea about public speaking! i flunked it in school! 1 Like |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 7:57am On Mar 27, 2017 |
marvelling: Until you decide to tackle stage fright and the likes, public speaking will look like a mountain. Everyone has what it takes to be a good speaker. 1 Like |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by abumeinben(m): 10:18am On Mar 27, 2017 |
1 Like |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by PrinzCarter(m): 11:18am On Mar 27, 2017 |
abumeinben:weed,codeine ,ref,,books, free naira land, buy Nokia touch wit dual sim 5 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by PrinzCarter(m): 11:21am On Mar 27, 2017 |
B2Spirits:Hw far d gals na Hw is d ministry moving in dat direction 2 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by marvelling(m): 1:20pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
B2Spirits: hmmm... 1 Like |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 2:24pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
PrinzCarter: We pastors don't pursue gals o. I don born again finish. 2 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by abumeinben(m): 3:00pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
PrinzCarter: No those are for on stage performing musicians. Talking about presentation here bro |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by peddy231(m): 3:40pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
B2Spirits:How does one conquer stage fright? 1 Like |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 5:16pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
peddy231: You must research your subject, and prepare very well before mounting the stage. Once on stage, you must see yourself as all-knowing until you leave the stage. See the audience as the enemies that must be conquered using intimidating eyes contact. See yourself as having superior knowledge of what you are speaking about. The place of intonation While pronouncing words, do it as if you own the word. In a sentence, important words must receive louder pronouciation. Have you given people handshakes before? You can identify those handshakes followed by devouring look -- those hearty handshakes that speak better than the action itself. Jonathan Hawker made the statement below: "The strength of the handshake was so much akin to that which I had noticed in the driver, whose face I had not seen, that for a moment I doubted if it were not the same person to whom I was speaking." Look your audience in the eyes; not the ceiling. Note that your heart will beat faster for some minutes after mounting the stage--this is normal. Your subconscious mind must first pronounce what you want to say before your mouth says it. This makes you a pro. Ask anyone who attended Winners Chapel, Ogbomoso between 2006 and 2011 if he or she can remember a certain usher, who was known for his thrilling testimonies. My grammar was almost perfect, while I delivered my speeches like a pro. I became a threat to anyone that was preaching on that altar in those days. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 6:40pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
savagefinder: It's been long time we read obituaries last in your thread. Hope you're not posting from sambisa? 4 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by savagefinder: 8:26pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
B2Spirits:lol..no na..I've been busy..told y'all I do this when am free...but this weekend i should be back.. |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by donnie(m): 9:41pm On Mar 27, 2017 |
Yh you have the gift of gab... that's not enough for the pastoral calling tho. 2 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by toprealman: 7:39pm On Mar 28, 2017 |
15 years, JSS 2 ![]() Calm down abeg..... 4 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Nobody: 10:34pm On Mar 28, 2017 |
toprealman: Kid, there is a limit to what you can understand. Go and attack Melaye or whatever in the politics section so that we can have a break here. 1 Like |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by toprealman: 4:08am On Mar 29, 2017 |
B2Spirits:Father Abraham, I have no such interest! 7 Likes |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by crunchyg: 7:38am On Mar 29, 2017 |
Abeg make somebody help me summarise that writeup e too long |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by helphelp: 7:38am On Mar 29, 2017 |
Good. Clap for yourself 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by sapientia(m): 7:38am On Mar 29, 2017 |
I have never typed this in Nairaland.. I have nothing to say. |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by eduevolutionnow(m): 7:39am On Mar 29, 2017 |
Smmh 2 Likes 1 Share
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Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Blessedgurl(f): 7:41am On Mar 29, 2017 |
Funny |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by Adeyeye09(m): 7:41am On Mar 29, 2017 |
Can someone pls summarise. I get tired reading long posts |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by thepresence: 7:42am On Mar 29, 2017 |
What if your pastors are nairalanders? ![]() Cool, to a certain extent.. Meanwhile, 500W pure sine wave inverter for sale.. This can carry 1 energy saving bulb, 1 t.v & 1 fan.. With inbuilt charger.. N9500 0811 938 7235 |
Re: How I Held Pastors Spellbound During A Pastoral Job Interview by ItalianWine(f): 7:42am On Mar 29, 2017 |
B2Spirits: You're not a pastor, you went to pastoral interview, passed it.....what do you guys do then? Making money pastor ism? ![]() |
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