Your Opinion Is Needed Please Help


My aunt(mum's last sibling) has been having issues with her husband since she got married. She has two kids, a girl(2 yrs old) and a boy(1 yr old). The girl looks like her husband, the boy looks like her husband's brother.

Apart from the other issues they have been having, there is a particular issue that tore them apart. When the boy was born, the husband has been accusing her of sleeping with a man who stays in the same house with them (a room was leased to him), he said the man is the real father of the son.

My aunt asked for a DNA test to be ran but then he shouted and was saying will she provide the money for the test. Least I forget, my aunt isn't doing anything since she got married to him. He didn't want her to work but to depend on him. Most times he doesn't give her money for feeding and upkeep..she usually run to my uncles(her brothers) they give her money. It was also because of him my granny died( she developed high bp when she came for omugwo because of the way she was treated, everyday she comes to my house and my mum gives her food).

Due to the accusations and other issues, last month instead of a DNA test, the hubby ran a genotype and blood group test and his matched with the little baby's own. later on, the man kept on insisting that the little boy is not his son as he calls him "Dada" instead of "daddy".

This time around he started accusing my aunt of sleeping with his brother and an Uncle of his. He even beats the children at any slight provocation.

On wednesday around midnight, 2:30am to be precise according to her, he came to her room and started dragging her, beating her up, strangling her, threatening to kill her even said he doesn't mind going to jail if he kills her. He was beating her and asking who was the father of the boy. He seized her phone too. Her eyes were swollen plus other injuries on her body.The next day when my uncles got to know what happened, they sent my sis to go help her pack up her stuffs and since then my aunt and her kids had been in my house. My uncles were looking for good divorce lawyers as my aunt has made up her mind not to go back to the hubby because she might die in his hands.

Last night the husband came to my house pleading, kneeling down, begging and crying. he refused to go home even till 10pm. he said he wanted his wife and kids back. he kept pleading for a second chance and kept saying he doesn't want to marry another wife... but my dad insisted he leaves the house. he was even denied access to his kids.I felt pity for the man.

Now, do you think he deserves a second chance? do you think he was really remorseful? or do you think she should go on with the divorce case? she is really at cross roads now and confused. Me for one, I don't support divorce but I don't expect someone to keep tolerating domestic violence and loose her life. Do you think she would remarry after the divorce? she had operation during the birth of her kids so she is not really in good shape so do you think any man will look at her? I am also confused on her behalf.

lalasticlala

rosalieene:
I felt pity for the man.

You're not serious.

do you think she should go on with the divorce case? she is really at cross roads now and confused.

It's her decision to make. It's not yours or ours. and you all should stop confusing her with your opinions.
she's the one suffering in the marriage.

Now, do you think he deserves a second chance? do you think he was really remorseful?

If all you wrote above is true, then he doesn't. Giving him a second chance is giving him a pass to kill your Anuty.

Me for one, I don't support divorce but I don't expect someone to keep tolerating domestic violence and loose her life.

I hope she Never listens to you advice cos you're a very confused human being.

Do you think she would remarry after the divorce? she had operation during the birth of her kids so she is not really in good shape so do you think any man will look at her?

Did she hire you to plan her life or are you God?

She's yet to decide on a divorce, she's yet to get back on her feet and you're talking about remarry?

If u dont support divorce, u will sha support murder.



But ds op na one kind creature sha ..

He is a comfused fellow....See,you guy need to involve legal practional before your sister move back to him.He must sign an agreement that nothing will happen to her again and also take him to rehabilitation center for brain check-up.Some people are not just normal,they act before thinking and not think before they act.

You guys should ignore that guy and take the matter to court. He's a very unstable and disturbed guy. I wonder why ladies still dey fall for guys like him. Jeez!

Abeg no listen to all those prayer warriors and spirikokos wey go flood this thread soon. If that guy kill una sister and himself, na una go carry the blame and regret o.

So you want her to go back to him Come back when the man has killed your aunt so we can all empathise with you and type RIP.....mtsheweehh

Wowzerful! Biko give this situation a little more time. Let the devil that was living in him finally die off before considering a second chance or divorce. It is well.


As for her shape, encourage her to get her body, self esteem and worth back. All these are achievable. Extend my hugs to her...this bad wind will blow over too. Nothing last forever. It is well.

Hmmmm...what is the title of this movie?

Two things. You are not your aunt unless of course you are your aunt and this is your way of getting advice?
Sometimes it's better to take a step back and let her make her own choices. She cannot live her life through your fears neither can the rest of the family dictate what happens. Well they can ( its Africa after all)In most instances a cycle forms and there is a lot of back and forth. What's important for her is stability and the welfare of her children. She needs a way of earning a living. This notion of being looked after like a pedigree pet is not sustainable. She needs to be her own person focus on her children and life after this marriage. Worrying about her getting married again is quite improper. She has not even got over her first hurdle as a manner of speaking.

rosalieene:
lalasticlala

The husband should be reported to the police for the past one he did. He should subsequently sign an affidavit in the presence even his own family members and the police. Ur uncle needs to firm up to the man. If she was my sister, the next time he does such he will be dealt with like a common street thug.

The worst thing that can happen to a woman is to be financially dependent on a man ...btwn that man needs a brain check ,doesn't sound like what a normal human being will do ,it's obvious he's looking for ways to get your aunt and kids out of his life .

The husband has untreated mental problem. I think you want her out of your house. You probably don't like the company and less food that you have to eat. Reason why you are asking if she should consider going back.

LET HER DECIDE AND MAKE THE BEST DECISION...

One thing I ve learnt with relationship stories online is that, the reporting party often plays the victim, while totally painting the other spouse bad. The reporting spouse is always innocent or with a very "minor" offence while the other is always a demon, a heartless demon. For all I care, OP doesn't have enough facts to make judgement. I bet we will call the woman wicked if we also hear the husband's side of the story Everyone feels sanctimonious when reporting an issue. Be wise.

My own advice is that she should go ahead with the divorce...there's no assurance that the hubby's head won't slide into overdrive at the slightest provocation

It took me 15 mins to untangle the relationship in ur headline.

bring your paypal 350/$

Hiis son calls him Dada instead of daddy..lol he must be high on origin meanwhile any man that lays his hands on a woman is a beast why beat a woman, It's better to love someone you trust,than love someone someone you don't trust...say no to violence against women.

Let your aunt reveal the true father and the guy not yet convince, then do the DNA test now. Simple.

things Re happening ooo

Is he a drunk?

You are even feeling remorse for the man..you're one of ur sister's problem

This is strange o.

Joavid:


You're not serious.



It's her decision to make. It's not yours or ours. and you all should stop confusing her with your opinions.
she's the one suffering in the marriage.



If all you wrote above is true, then he doesn't. Giving him a second chance is giving him a pass to kill your Anuty.


I hope she Never listens to you advice cos you're a very confused human being.


Did she hire you to plan her life or are you God?

She's yet to decide on a divorce, she's yet to get back on her feet and you're talking about remarry?

You are too brilliant... You would be a good listener and counsellor