vicben27:
dat wndaful sex section wil help me relax d beta! beside all d above stated difficulties of life is neva my portion! if u dnt mind am sendin back to sender! it wont b dat bad lJN

Mouth. Marry first. . . Body go tell you.

vicben27:
dat wndaful sex section wil help me relax d beta! beside all d above stated difficulties of life is neva my portion! if u dnt mind am sendin back to sender! it wont b dat bad lJN

All the listed pressures are real life situations. Unless we are not sincere with ourselves.
Been religiously sentimental about natural incidents, does not take them away...... ....
Remember Heaven help those who help themselves.............

vicben27:
Lol i wil bro!

Kindly quote me 6 years after you get married

SlowlybtSurely:


Mouth. Marry first. . . Body go tell you.

You spoke well

adviserseeker:
Hi all. Sorry to bother you all with this but I am sincerely confused and beginning to think maybe something is wrong with me.

The issue is, I am in my second year of marriage and have a one year old kid ( was 1 yesterday). I love my wife and my child but things are getting messy with my wife over sex issues.

I want to make love with my wife at least 3 times a week. But most times I will be lucky if I have it 4 times a month. For instance, this month, I have only had sex once.

Is it not normal for one to want to have sex with his legal wife 3 times a week? Note she is not working. The only work is the child and she has me and two others ( her relatives) helping with carrying the child and caring for the child). What scares me is that in 5 months time she will start working as soon as the child enters school. I am worried once she starts working sex will no longer be on the agenda.

Aside the fact that we don't have sex as often as I would want, she prefers backing me while sleeping and when my complaints was much, she decided to stay put our kid in the middle rather than in her cot. We had to gift out the baby cot months back when the baby started refusing the her bed as she prefers for obvious reasons.

Yesterday we kissed for the first time in over a month, it was getting hot then she came up with an excuse that there is heat ( our generator was at the time being serviced and there was no light). I let her go in the night when there was light, immediately I came in, she moved to the parlour to watch TV.

She also point blankly told me to seek pleasure elsewhere when I told her if she continues this way I will have to get sex elsewhere.

Now my question is, is 3 times a week normal? Or am I the problem?

Sometimes not doing anything can make one miserable and stressed or depressed ( and these can cause your sex life to suffer). Perhaps now that she's going to work she will feel more alive and satisfied with who she is and will be much more open to you . That you provide her everything and you think that will make her happy is wrong perhaps she's one of those women who wants to wake up with a daily purpose, coming back home not only to listen to your work stories but to tell hers as well. Some people feel more sexual when they have things that excite them in their lives. Ask her what she will be wearing on her first day at work , what time she will be leaving the house etc you might see someone new

Lexusgs430:


Might make sense, if both of you visit a sex therapist or simply buy or download her books to read.
She might be genuinely tired, looking after a child + looking after the home is a full time job.
One thing I can say is, the older marriage get, the lesser the wives are interested in sex (statistical analysis)

Three times a week on the regular, might be pushing it.......
But 4 times a month, might seem regular for some. By the time you have 3 kids, at this rate, you know say shop don close b dat.

Maybe the wives have been continually hurt over time and/or over burdened. Statistically, women's libido increase as they grow older.

bukatyne:


Maybe the wives have been continually hurt over time and/or over burdened. Statistically, women's libido increase as they grow older.

But not to want the romping action, 3 times of a week, every week throughout the year, right ?

Lexusgs430:


But not to want the romping action, 3 times of a week, every week throughout the year, right ?

Is 3x weekly a big deal?

My opinion tho;wives are not supposed to deny their husbands access to their body.

My opinion tho;wives are not supposed to deny their husbands access to their body.But I can't tell her reasons for behaving as such.Your marriage is still young to be going through this.God help us in our future marriages.

adviserseeker:
...
Yesterday we kissed for the first time in over a month, it was getting hot then she came up with an excuse that there is heat ( our generator was at the time being serviced and there was no light). I let her go in the night when there was light, immediately I came in, she moved to the parlour to watch TV.

She also point blankly told me to seek pleasure elsewhere when I told her if she continues this way I will have to get sex elsewhere.
...

She told you to find another woman. Raise your head and look around. She's not attracted to you. There may be several reasons for this.

1. She may be a lesbian. Does she have any lady friends who are exceptionally close with her?
2. She may have a lover. Is there an old boyfriend nearby who she preferred to marry before you?
3. She may not get aroused by you. Do you bathe regularly, even after coming home from work? Do you freshen your breath? Is your manhood very small? Are you breathing heavy on top during sex, but never do anything to please your wife?

Check yourself very well to see if there is anything lacking within you. Also 3 times a week EVERY week. That's too much unless you just want her to lay there like firewood.

Simply start getting grumpy and angry over little things when she is not giving in.. then let her know that's the reason for your action . That works like fire even though it's wrong. Most of these ladies do not know the meaning of marriage . Sex denial in marriage is a time bomb. I hope she won't regret her action

marriage is in phases, good , bad, ugly..heavenly etc..you seem to be going through a bad phase.
you said you sex life with her b4 marriage was gr8?.....
can i take this to mean that you satisfy her?.

some gfs can tolerate bad sex hoping it will get better after marriage, but if the bad sex still remains after marriage, na their wahala dey.
i ask again, how good are ur skillz btw the sheets, cos its only you that can judge that, also if you last less than 10-15mins, its a pointer that your skillz may not be as good as you think it is.

is she circumcised?, how abt organsms, are you sure she has them, not faking?
this ur matter complex, too many variables/unknowns.. best solution is to identify and solve the variables 1 by 1.

1. post partum depression
2. cheating , tasted another guy who blew her mind outside
3. closet lesbian
4. your not so good bedroom skillz
5. grudge against you

etc the list is endless,

Here are the possible solutions for your problem before you cave in and have an affiar:
1.It could be hormonal imbalances, and can be fixed by a physician. Take her to a good gynocologist.

2. It could be any medicines side effects, if she is taking any other medicine. Talk to your doctor.

3. Sex counsellors can help you, seek their advice. You can find them online.

4. Maybe she is not sexually satisfied with you. Talk to her. An honest and good communication is the key of a successful relationship. Tell her everything, every feelings and ask her what is her main cause of problem. Only if she tells you what is the problem, you can then solve the problem. Be open, ask her what should you do to fulfill your sexual desire, if she is not interested to have sex. Maybe she has an answer for you. Just ask her. Have an honest communication.

5. If nothing works, tell her frankly you want to go in your separate way, so that both of you guys can be happier than you having an affiar. Be honest, you don't have to cheat on her. Good luck!

Just to reiterate what others have said, are you sure she enjoys it? It's not enough to think that because you do it, it's good. Me and my husband have a young marriage and we have tried different things. Sometimes it's hard for women to get in touch with themselves sexually because we are discouraged from being sexual. Especially after having a child, the fear of being pregnant again, if she is not ready for another child, or the effects of birth trauma can make intercourse daunting. After I had my baby I was so scared to do it, but my husband was patient with me & he took time to do pre-intimacy so I could relax.
Try and rekindle the spark not just in the bed, but in general. Women need a bit more warming up prior ro the act and it starts with building up the anticipation. Text her and tell her you're thinking about her; see where it goes. A little naughty texting can heat things up. Getting a text during the day from my hubby when he's at work to tell me he misses me *wink wink* makes me feel wanted. Maybe when she's cooking or taking care of the kids tell her how attractive/sexy she still is so she doesn't feel self conscious. Knowing my hubby sees me as his wife and not just mommy makes me feel sexy & want to look good for him. Make a habit of kissing goodbye and hello when you are back home. Just a simple kiss goodbye before he leaves for work can set the tone for the evening. Sow the seeds of true intimacy. Sex especially in marriage is less about the act and about intimacy. The more me and my husband are communicating and on the same page, the more sex we have because where there is understanding there is no room for anything else but love and expressing that love regularly. Sex is a way for us to connect, relieve stress, not just something to get over with. As a husband you have to genuinely want to get to the root of what has made her build up the wall and patiently break it down. As your wife she should try to work with you. Lastly I say pray. Ask God to soften her heart to you emotionally and physically.

adviserseeker:


Yesterday we kissed for the first time in over a month, it was getting hot then she came up with an excuse that there is heat ( our generator was at the time being serviced and there was no light). I let her go in the night when there was light, immediately I came in, she moved to the parlour to watch TV.

?

Now this is just wicked

bukatyne:


Maybe the wives have been continually hurt over time and/or over burdened.Statistically, women's libido increase as they grow older.

That's when the love is true. How many Nigerian women truly love their husbands? Very few, I'd wager.

BoboYekini:
That's when the love is true. How many Nigerian women truly love their husbands? Very few, I'dl wager.

You can't be serious.

RIH345:

You can't be serious.

I beg your pardon.

BoboYekini:
I beg your pardon.

I'd go as far as declaring that Nigerian women love their husbands the most if I was being ridiculous, but we love our husbands so so much. We don't dream of getting married just to have a wedding.

RIH345:


I'd go as far as declaring that Nigerian women love their husbands the most if I was being ridiculous, but we love our husbands so so much. We don't dream of getting married just to have a wedding.

*laughs hysterically*.