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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. (62797 Views)
My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help / Marriage On Fire Six Months After Couple's Wedding. Photos / My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me (2) (3) (4)
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My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by adam500hr: 10:10am On Apr 30, 2017 |
Hi nlanders, great morning to you all, of recent, have been suspecting my wife. She suddenly asked me for over 2million to pay rent for a new place to continue her biz, in which I declined for good reasons, because the place I had set up for her is just a year old and I spent alot on another mans property, yet no profit has even come out of the biz to even say it services part of the family's responsibility. Knowing fully well I rarely say no to her request, she felt more bad that I insisted on the decline. Infact she told me she was going to take a loan, I said if she does, my hand nor dey there, I said she should have patience like a year more that I will finance it, but she keeps saying the vacancy she saw is an opportunity that she does not want to lose it, I still maintained my decision of declining. One night, she said she'll need my psychological support on the loan she wants to take, I replied that I cannot offer psych support on what I disagree upon, then she said I dont want to help her at all, that how much did I even spend for the first business, that is it up to 2 million, in which I spent more than. At that moment, I knew the wife I married was an ungrateful one, I just told her point blank that she should go for the loan and loan more to fix the place and buy everything she needs, then after she repays the loan, I'll blv shes a true business man and that I'll financially support anything she decides to do thereafter. She said well, I am scared of the loan, but she'll by whatever means get the money, I replied saying, whatever means u plan on getting it, make sure its clean. Few days after, I figured out shes no longer interested in orgasm during sex, she just gives me and thats it, I already knew shes probably thinking too much and overworking herself to bring about a solution to where the money was gonna come out from, so I asked her why she has not been interested in orgasm, she said I should know that shes been working on some "BLOW JOBS" say what? She said u know have been working on some projects to get money to continue the biz, I said but u just said Mouth Action, she no I didnt say anything as such, Nlanders, If I lie make i nor see better, that was what came outta her mouth, but I am not concluding anything, just that its strange for such mistake to have been spewed. Though I got suspicious and decided to follow up on her. She has been talking to someone in secret, when she sees me she stylishly and quickly hang up. So I decided to make a very risky and rash move, that would either pay off, or ruin things. I yelled I know what u have been doing, you are a hoe that can never be trusted, that I think am done with this marriage. She got really worried that why would i call her such bla bla, she could not sleep that day, that gave me more reason to feel sumtin is probably going down, next day she sends me a text saying for me to keep calling her a hoe that she must have done something that warrants itm but she does not want to be referred ti as that anymore, and there is something am not telling her though. I told her, I will break the news of what I know when the time is right, she then replied after two days of emotional trauma that she has finally decided to take the bold step to make my life and hers easy, she dont intend to create no drama, that all she needs me to do to avoid her getting any embarrassment from me, (what she meant is not letting people know why am calling her a hoe) is she wants me to let her know the terms and conditions with the kids and any other thing i think she should know before-hand. She also stated she would have loved to stay for her kids, but her emotions and health is failing her. Nlanders, though I took a big risk, but isnt my confrontation with just 40% proof brought about a revelation that something has indeed happened from her response? I need candid response here as I am about to take my own decision, I cant stand a cheating wife biko. 49 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by HungerBAD: 10:11am On Apr 30, 2017 |
Interesting. First,if we knew each other personally i will not say this because i want to mind my business,but your wife is sleeping outside and i am not sure it just started newly. That she is even planning on leaving the family,to what she considers a greener pasture over your refusal to release that money to her,tells us your competition has really worked on her. She will not be the first married woman to make this same mistake,of thinking that their lovers really love them and that when they walk away from their families,loverboy will just make them their number ONE. There is a reason they say women have fish brain. They forget that loverboy sleeping with them when married,can never trust them. As a wife that cheated on her EX while married will cheat on them too,and so she usually ends losing both husband and loverboy. She is your wife and it is your decision to make. You assumed you knew her,and that is why you married her,so you are in a better position to tell if she can cheat. But you said she has a store?i always advice men to marry or date mostly professional women. Not saying they are better,but married women who run stores,joints,go around selling (Gold,shoes,Clothes) and stuff in offices usually sleep around a lot and the husbands are usually the last to know. The problem with a cheating spouse,is that even if you forgive her/him it never stops. It is an habit they cant let go and that is why i tell people,if your spouse is cheating on you,let that person go. You are compromising your life by staying with a cheating spouse. 452 Likes 44 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by sisisioge: 10:18am On Apr 30, 2017 |
Well well well...make una take am easy biko. I think she did something too or wanted to...just leave it be without plying too hard. What you don't know won't kill you. It is welly o. 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Poorboy: 10:22am On Apr 30, 2017 |
I have a solution to knowing the kind of woman she is i don't want to post it here because it's a top secret and ladies here would get the information 7 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Khd95(m): 10:23am On Apr 30, 2017 |
HungerBAD:then u summarise it for us ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Dhayor001(m): 10:32am On Apr 30, 2017 |
1. Never yell. 2. Don't call names or use insults 3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely. What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie. As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully. If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out. If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma. If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better. Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works! Cheers. 389 Likes 39 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by adam500hr: 10:36am On Apr 30, 2017 |
Poorboy: Your number says switched off |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Poorboy: 10:38am On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr: |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by StPete: 11:00am On Apr 30, 2017 |
HungerBAD, You're psychologically and mentally mature. Your responses always make sense. Two cold Orijin for you 63 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by HungerBAD: 11:02am On Apr 30, 2017 |
StPete: Thank you boss. 20 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Poorboy: 11:04am On Apr 30, 2017 |
StPete:He is spiritually mature too 27 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by montezz(f): 11:14am On Apr 30, 2017 |
HungerBAD:This guy sha. 8 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Seeeeeeee: 11:25am On Apr 30, 2017 |
StPete: HungerBAD: StPete:physically nko him never mature? 5 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by nnamdibig(m): 11:26am On Apr 30, 2017 |
Hmmmmm, something is seriously wrong somewhere, I guess you tell her to confess so you can forgive her. That may make her open up to you. But your wife is very very ungrateful sha....... Extremely ungrateful. 58 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 12:08pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Your story isn't exactly coherent. perhaps you wrote it under duress. Going by what you wrote, she started cheating after you refused to give her the 2million or help her get the loan. and the reason why you refused to give her the 2million is because nothing has come out of the previous business you financed for her. Oga adam500hr, you did not marry a wife material. You married someone who's emotionally and psychologically immature with a huge sense of entitlement. 132 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by adam500hr: 12:21pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Joavid: You are right, The car I bought for her, she asked me why its not bought in her name, I for one never have thought about entitlement in marriages, it didnt hit my mind for once, immediately i knew she was sensing, if anything happends, what would she fall back on, I asked why she would think that deep, she said its only normal that if you buy something for someone, it should be in their name. My hand fall. 71 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 12:32pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr: Were you blind during courtship? How long did you court? 36 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by adam500hr: 12:41pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began. 66 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by klexycole(m): 1:07pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr: This is the root of the problem. Very pathetic! ![]() 220 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Stanleysteno(m): 1:16pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
This is somehow complicated, since u don't have evidence, I'll advice u try sitting her down n ask her to come clean that u know everything that's going on but the only way u can forgive her n start all over with her is if she tell u with her mouth (the whole truth)...... Pls I'll beg u take things slow n not to jump into conclusions so as to save ur marriage. I pray for GOD intervention in ur marriage 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by ifyalways(f): 2:03pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Chai, is this what marriage has been reduced to? She give BJ She's a hoe Send text to explain kilode ![]() OP, seat down with your wife and handle all this as a man. You cannot finance her new project for now because of bla bla bla, she can go ahead and take the loan with her name after all she's an adult but you won't be part of it, get it done and OVER with. I frankly don't understand all the back and forth, nor the need for it. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 2:07pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Your wife is just being unreasonable, this whole issue could have been avoided if you both came to an agreement on the shop she wanted to rent. For God's sake, if she looses that place she claimed was a good site she could have gotten 1001 places better than that one at the time you agreed. Perhaps, she thinks you have the money but deliberately refused to help. You too shouldn't have called your wife a whòre based on suspicions, her actions speak volume tho. Marriage is all about communication, you two should seat and talk. Be very sure she's cheating before speaking further, this matter never reach divorce. Could be a misunderstanding. 21 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Acidosis(m): 3:00pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
This thing always happen when women marry money. Your wife married your money, not you. You were only there as a portfolio; fact is the wedding was between your wife and your money. Like a teller, your main duty is to dispense cash. It is highly unreasonable for one who has neither managed any reasonable business, nor make profit from an existing shop that cost over N2m to go further to request for a whooping N2m on rent. I sha hope you harvest money from a tree, else you will soon become broke. I'd advise you to invest as much as possible on your immediate family. I'm sure someone needs your assistance. Establish a sibling now that you can, they will support you later in life. I don't know your monetary worth, but please don't go 'forming' a made careless spender. N2m is still a huge money in the current day Nigeria. That's the average yearly earning of a Banker in UBA. Imagine setting ablaze a banker's yearly salary because of an unreasonable spouse! An average Nigerian based Professor would need to work tirelessly for 4 months to earn that.. Be wise now that your sanity has not been ruined. That one yeyebrity opened a shop for a slay queen doesn't mean you should do same. Like their marriages, we all know those shops don't stay 3 years. Its all meant to oppress their followers on Instagram. The aim of business is to make money and if and when your wife proves to be unreasonable with finance, get her to sit indoors or get her trained somewhere. I've decided to ignore allegations regarding her cheating tendencies.. I believe you're man enough to handle that aspect. 172 Likes 16 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by angelTI(f): 3:50pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Eleyi gidi gan o |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by sebod(m): 3:55pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:You actually slept with a stranger probably just to ease off, she in turn fell in love with your money and thought it would always be business as usual. And when what got her attracted to you seems no longer forthcoming, she's got to sort herself out. You are already married, try and do whatever you could to save your marriage, bearing in mind you are the architect of whatever happens. You can't afford to make another mistake of having a broken home unless she decides to walk away. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Prognose: 4:07pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr: Smh Never rush into marriage. The consequences of doing so last for a lifetime. Prognose 25 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by adam500hr: 4:11pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
sebod: I was a mere 27 yr old man with little or no change when we met. I was ok, but not to the point of having a woman rate me as rich or having then. Dont get it twisted, every woman get their own, na just the level of their ways different. What happened to me can happen to anybody, this is not tales by moonlight, na tales od day light. 27 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by adam500hr: 4:13pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Prognose: Prognose, u dey pokenose, it can happen to you too, nobody badder dan, nobody holy pass when it comes to woman matter. Without all these yeye thing with my woman, aswear my family too sweet. He dey pain me sha, u nor go understand though. 41 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by dangotesmummy: 4:17pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Adam you don't confront people so brashly when you have NO EVIDENCE HOW MUCH MORE YOUR WIFE If you know you wanted to confront her you should have exercised patience like a funny fox,get your facts right then confession time starts.from there you'll know whether to continue with the marriage or end.however with what you have written e be like say your wife don dey give you proverb. It's for you to understand 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by HungerBAD: 4:17pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Seun Lalasticlacla Mynd44 Fynestboi Obynoscopy Dominique This Nairalander is going through a very serious marital issue. Please do the needful so others can learn from him too. 9 Likes |
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Prognose: 4:20pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:Hahaha ![]() Bros I understand better than you think. E don happen e don happen, wetin we go do? My advice is actually for those yet to enter into this modern double-edged sword we call marriage. 2 Likes |
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