dangotesmummy:
Adam you don't confront people so brashly when you have NO EVIDENCE HOW MUCH MORE YOUR WIFE

If you know you wanted to confront her you should have exercised patience like a funny fox,get your facts right then confession time starts.from there you'll know whether to continue with the marriage or end.however with what you have written e be like say your wife don dey give you proverb. It's for you to understand

I have supporting evidence where she degraded me while talking to a man he claims is his friend, talking and making gest of me, once woman don dey shine ur matter to another man, na to open eyes, I dont need no freaking further evidence reason why am still takin thing slow now, I am holding my balls strong on this one, this is one of those many issues I have faced so far. Just getting clearer now.

sisisioge:
Well well well...make una take am easy biko.

I think she did something too or wanted to...just leave it be without plying too hard. What you don't know won't kill you. It is welly o.

Oh! What he doesn't know won't kill him okwaya? So he sits down like mumu and she keeps galivanting upandan for money till she brings HIV from outside to dash his destiny abi? Mr man, your decision is yours to make solely, you sleep with her, manage your home and you know where it pinches you.
Marriage is sweet depending on the cutlery you use to eat it( depending on who you choose to spend your life with).

adam500hr:


I have supporting evidence where she degraded me while talking to a man he claims is his friend, talking and making gest of me, once woman don dey shine ur matter to another man, na to open eyes, I dont need no freaking further evidence reason why am still takin thing slow now, I am holding my balls strong on this one, this is one of those many issues I have faced so far. Just getting clearer now.

then discuss with her as husband to wife I said discuss,as in have a civilized discussion devoid of attacks,name calling and confrontations. Tell her you don't like all the disrespect and all and if you disrespected her in front of another woman how will she feel.all you need is a midnight heart to heart conversation and tell her to make her choice. From there you'll know where your marriage is heading to

The matter too long. Abeg summarize.

adam500hr:


I was a mere 27 yr old man with little or no change when we met. I was ok, but not to the point of having a woman rate me as rich or having then. Dont get it twisted, every woman get their own, na just the level of their ways different. What happened to me can happen to anybody, this is not tales by moonlight, na tales od day light.

The thing is unprotected sexxx is what brought this problem, this marriage and everything that's going on now .
Well the mistake has been made already . and seriously I honestly don't know what u can tell such a woman ,that will make her change her mindset .
Cause human beings are the most difficult beings to change for the better on earth.
May God give u the wisdom to handle her .

dangotesmummy:
then discuss with her as husband to wife I said discuss,as in have a civilized discussion devoid of attacks,name calling and confrontations. Tell her you don't like all the disrespect and all and if you disrespected her in front of another woman how will she feel.all you need is a midnight heart to heart conversation and tell her to make her choice. From there you'll know where your marriage is heading to

UNFORTUNATELY, I have had heart to heart talks with her during past incidences, its just seems not to work, and dont have faith seeing it work,I would have to seek a spiritual procedure, call on God. Cos if God fit give me two wonderful pikin thru this woman wey nor dey loyal, then I need not to blow that blessing away.

@Every!, is is best to consult a councilor? I doubt that, cos our first counseling, she gave too much details that even the counselor felt sort of uncomfortable. Will a pastor be advisable? That too depends on the pastor, its only God that can see through a real pastor, some will claim to want to administer help, they use prayers to try to penetrate ones wife. Or is there therapy that can handle this situation?

As always,I don't like one sided stories.

But oga Adam, you lost my respect when you started getting worked up about her calls and issues...then you went down yonder to call names...oga...e dalu ya (you fail am ).

To remedy your case,those phone calls and etc were done to swing you to action.

You know like get you scared of loosing her and then you do her bidding.

But that lady is brilliant sha.

She is not cheating...she is only working on your mind.

I repeat...she is not cheating...mind games.

Now,play the fool card,bro,the olodo card.

Beg her,tell her how sorry you are, be more olodotic about it by shedding so many shoulder vibrating tears with phlegm oozing out of your nostrils...yes...those tears.

Now,buy something for her and promise to help her with the money ...SOON!

Peace restored at SOON!

Then few days later ...you got her at cloud 99,tell her a touchy tale as to why you can't raise the money.

Be sorry man,Show pain,loose your sleep about it, you feel me?

Let her see the worry on your face but bro,don't you ever agree to do the loan thingy with her bro.

We women can drag one yonder if they let us...I warn you...do not agree...And remember...Show thy pain...let it be written all over you!

You owe me you know.

afam500hr

There is an app you can use to find out whatever happens on your wife's phone. Whatsapp chats, screenshots and everything.

Anyway, its always good to marry woman who has the fear of God and not like all this freethinker ladies and feminist wey full Nairaland. Lemme not call names. Let them not come for my head.

GodnGold:
As always,I don't like one sided stories.

But oga Adam, you lost my respect when you started getting worked up about her calls and issues...then you went down yonder to call names...oga...e dalu ya (you fail am ).

To remedy your case,those phone calls and etc were done to swing you to action.

You know like get you scared of loosing her and then you do her bidding.

But that lady is brilliant sha.

She is not cheating...she is only working on your mind.

I repeat...she is not cheating...mind games.

Now,play the fool card,bro,the olodo card.

Beg her,tell her how sorry you are, be more olodotic about it by shedding so many shoulder vibrating tears with phlegm oozing out of your nostrils...yes...those tears.

Now,buy something for her and promise to help her with the money ...SOON!

Peace restored at SOON!

Then few days later ...you got her at cloud 99,tell her a touchy tale as to why you can't raise the money.

Be sorry man,Show pain,loose your sleep about it, you feel me?

Let her see the worry on your face but bro,don't you ever agree to do the loan thingy with her bro.

We women can drag one yonder if they let us...I warn you...do not agree...And remember...Show thy pain...let it be written all over you!

You owe me you know.

I can only owe you on one thing, thats to apologize to her that I called her names, in which I'll immediately provide evidence of slandering me over the phone with the male friend she claim she has. A full explanation on that is required.
Moreso, is that how rotten marriages should be, that a woman should use dirty tactics mind games to get her husband to disburse funds that is not and should not be demanded for? If thats the kind of mind games some women use, I am not accommodating such in my own union, na big brother house my famil dey live? Ihian!! If i hear!!!

adam500hr:


UNFORTUNATELY, I have had heart to heart talks with her during past incidences, its just seems not to work, and dont have faith seeing it work,I would have to seek a spiritual procedure, call on God. Cos if God fit give me two wonderful pikin thru this woman wey nor dey loyal, then I need not to blow that blessing away.

@Every!, is is best to consult a councilor? I doubt that, cos our first counseling, she gave too much details that even the counselor felt sort of uncomfortable. Will a pastor be advisable? That too depends on the pastor, its only God that can see through a real pastor, some will claim to want to administer help, they use prayers to try to penetrate ones wife. Or is there therapy that can handle this situation?

well I think there's no problem that doesn't have a solution if you have reasons to doubt her loyalty why then do you want her to have kids for you?don't you know once kids get involved you have no choice that is what she'll use to blackmail you

Secondly if you cannot vouch for her faithfulness you might as well restrain yourself from having sex with her so you don't catch another thing. In all of this think it through. Sleep over it and please don't involve pastors because even pastors have their own marital issues.you no know whether pastor marital issues big pass your own. Apart from that you don't want pastor to be using your story to preach in church. You know some pastors are fond of that.you also don't want your marriage to be gossip topic in church among awon mama gbeborun mother in Israel

Communication is key. Talk to her insults and suspicions aside. Get to the bottom of all this. A woman who is not afraid walk away frm her family for whatever reason obviously has plan B. Are we that selfish Trully marriage has been relegated

adam500hr:


UNFORTUNATELY, I have had heart to heart talks with her during past incidences, its just seems not to work, and dont have faith seeing it work,I would have to seek a spiritual procedure, call on God. Cos if God fit give me two wonderful pikin thru this woman wey nor dey loyal, then I need not to blow that blessing away.

@Every!, is is best to consult a councilor? I doubt that, cos our first counseling, she gave too much details that even the counselor felt sort of uncomfortable. Will a pastor be advisable? That too depends on the pastor, its only God that can see through a real pastor, some will claim to want to administer help, they use prayers to try to penetrate ones wife. Or is there therapy that can handle this situation?

in addition to why I said you should withdraw from her sexually if you don't trust her fidelity 100% is that let her no go play away match con give another man pregnancy to you.you know that's the trending thing women do now.it will be more disastrous if you discovered that years later.if at all there must be kids between you two make sure you do DNA test before accepting the kids before they play a fast one on you

adam500hr:


I was a mere 27 yr old man with little or no change when we met. I was ok, but not to the point of having a woman rate me as rich or having then. Dont get it twisted, every woman get their own, na just the level of their ways different. What happened to me can happen to anybody, this is not tales by moonlight, na tales od day light.

What happened to you can happen to anybody, agreed. It's obvious you married her out of pity in order to avoid shame. That's the first mistake made. You can't afford to make another by allowing your family scatter, do all you can to salvage your home. Talk to her and pray to God. It's your responsibility as the head to raise a godly home.
No child deserves a broken home.

adam500hr:


I can only owe you on one thing, thats to apologize to her that I called her names, in which I'll immediately provide evidence of slandering me over the phone with the male friend she claim she has. A full explanation on that is required.
Moreso, is that how rotten marriages should be, that a woman should use dirty tactics mind games to get her husband to disburse funds that is not and should not be demanded for? If thats the kind of mind games some women use, I am not accommodating such in my own union, na big brother house my famil dey live? Ihian!! If i hear!!!

Oya na!

HungerBAD:
Interesting.

First,if we knew each other personally i will not say this be because i want to mind my business,but your wife is sleeping outside and i am not sure it just started newly.

That she is even planning on leaving the family,to what she considers a greener pasture over your refusal to release that money to her,tells us your competition has really worked on her.

She will not be the first married woman to make this same mistake,of thinking that their lovers really love them and that when they walk away from their families,loverboy will just make them their number ONE.

There is a reason they say women have fish brain. They forget that loverboy sleeping with them when married,can never trust them. As a wife that cheated on her EX while married will cheat on them too,and so she usually ends losing both husband and loverboy.

She is your wife and it is your decision to make. You assumed you knew her,and that is why you married her,so you are in a better position to tell if she can cheat.

But you said she has a store?i always advice men to marry or date mostly professional women. Not saying they are better,but married women who run stores,joints,go around selling (Gold,shoes,Clothes) and stuff in offices usually sleep around a lot and the husbands are usually the last to know.

The problem with a cheating spouse,is that even if you forgive her/him it never stops. It is an habit they cant let go and that is why i tell people,if your spouse is cheating on you,let that person go.

You are compromising your life by staying with a cheating spouse.

Dude no offence , but how do you know she's sleeping with someone else ?

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

Dude are you the same guy ,who bugged his wife's phone in another thread ?

Op you are either a small boy or very immature.

YOUR WIFE IS NOT CHEATING I REPEAT SHE IS NOT CHEATING!

She's just trying to get your attention damn it!

Go home fix it and handle your marriage like a man!

Dhayor001:

1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

Did u even make sense at all? U never read d post...please read abeg!!!!

adam500hr:
Hi nlanders, great morning to you all, of recent, have been suspecting my wife. She suddenly asked me for over 2million to pay rent for a new place to continue her biz, in which I declined for good reasons, because the place I had set up for her is just a year old and I spent alot on another mans property, yet no profit has even come out of the biz to even say it services part of the family's responsibility. Knowing fully well I rarely say no to her request, she felt more bad that I insisted on the decline. Infact she told me she was going to take a loan, I said if she does, my hand nor dey there, I said she should have patience like a year more that I will finance it, but she keeps saying the vacancy she saw is an opportunity that she does not want to lose it, I still maintained my decision of declining.

I wanted to advice you to give her the 2 million naira if you have it then i read how unfaithful she is and that she has been cheating on you

At this point, the marriage is dead, there's only one solution to that, stay in the marriage because of your children and find sexual pleasure outside of your marital home

I can stay with a wife who cheats on me because i don't want my children to suffer, do you know what children from broken home go through ??

I would stay in the marriage, stop having sex with her and go find me a side chick who will satisfy me

tobianthony:



Dude no offence , but how do you know she's sleeping with someone else ?

Because he's not a 5 year old boy

Communication is the key.

The kinda breed of women we have these days is what I don't still understand.

She did nothing wrong! she simply want a new shop beside you should stop calling her a hoe it's wrong.

Dhayor001:

1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

To add to it my brov; think about your kids and what become of them. A lifetime emotional imbalance.

I wonder why everybody brings their marriage problem to social media
none of my business tho

ifyalways:
Chai, is this what marriage has been reduced to?

She give BJ
She's a hoe
Send text to explain
kilode

OP, seat down with your wife and handle all this as a man. You cannot finance her new project for now because of bla bla bla, she can go ahead and take the loan with her name after all she's an adult but you won't be part of it, get it done and OVER with. I frankly don't understand all the back and forth, nor the need for it.

Did u read d post at all? D wife is a cheat!!!! Get DAT into ur skull!!!

Dhayor001:

1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

Stop that pls. Don't ruin a marriage

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

You don go marry another man wife

marriages these days make me feel I can do better than than most married ladies #justmythoughtsthough

OP clearly you married a stranger, someone you knew very lil about. Probably her baca or chelsea reformatted your system.... kpelee ooo. You have to make a tough call.....its entire your call bro!