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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. (1645 Views)
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I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 8:51pm On May 01, 2017 |
I'm in my early 30's a graduate but presently unemployed tho I have one or two things I do online to make an income but it's never enough. Now bearing my age in mind, I'm having the inclination to start a family thank God I have a place of my own so accommodation is nothing to worry about. Feeding too isn't an issue. The only issue I have now is the basics requirements to make a comfortable living. Would it be wise for me to take a woman considering the added responsibility talk more of putting her in the family way. I'm also of the opinion that I may be motivated to work harder and think smarter when I have responsibility he's staring at me. Perhaps my limited responsibility isn't enough motivation to make a breakthrough. I just need reasonable advice on what to do in this kind of situation because tone is not really on my side anymore. Finally, can I still find a lady out there who wouldn't place too much financial burden me. I'm just scared of not being able to fulfil my responsibility as a man if I choose to settle down and that can be very frustrating especially if ones partner is a nagging one. Too many things on my mind. I just need someone to relate to. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by optional1(f): 9:06pm On May 01, 2017 |
you don't need anyone's help nor advise.. Cos you will still do what's on your mind... So op do whats on your mind, you know yourself better.... Is everyone destined to marry ![]() |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 9:08pm On May 01, 2017 |
optional1: Nothing is on my mind , I'm trying to take a big step here. A step which will change the tragectory of things for me eaither good or bad. Someone might have a good suggestion and that's why I'm putting it out there. optional1: It's only natural to feel the need to procreate and that's what this is all about and not some elaborate wedding ceremony. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 9:10pm On May 01, 2017 |
dnt bring a child into ds world if u dnt av resources to tke care of it especially Nigeria 2 Likes |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by BiafranBushBoy: 9:14pm On May 01, 2017 |
optional1: Sometimes I wonder if it is a crime to think before typing?? ![]() And you gonna ask why I always attack you? Because yo always violate the human nature!! Think before you Type!! 4 Likes |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 9:15pm On May 01, 2017 |
nnamdiokere45: That's the issue, at least I may be able to take care of one or two kids. Do I have to wait till I have the resources before embarking on this journey.? Have it ever crossed your mind that your could grow old and grey without any dependants? These are thoughts that actually come to my mind. Isn't it better to take up the challenges, take the bull by the horn at once. Who knows, things might turn out better. Being optimistic now. 1 Like |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 9:20pm On May 01, 2017 |
Bandwagon:if u can comfortably take care of one or two,den go ahead.u musnt have 3kids 1 Like |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 9:23pm On May 01, 2017 |
nnamdiokere45: Definitely not comfortable enough for that right now but who knows what tomorrow might bring. These are my fears and considerations before embarking on this journey. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by optional1(f): 9:31pm On May 01, 2017 |
BiafranBushBoy: thank you for alwayz attacking me like a wolve who sees a teddy bear... Nice one kontinue prof sir ride on.. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by BiafranBushBoy: 9:33pm On May 01, 2017 |
optional1: Thank God you ain't cute because people might assume I am crushing on you!! But for christ sake... always think before you type!! |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by optional1(f): 9:35pm On May 01, 2017 |
Bandwagon: i pray you gets the best and right answer to your questions. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by xynerise: 9:41pm On May 01, 2017 |
Obviously, you are not ready to marry. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by optional1(f): 9:41pm On May 01, 2017 |
BiafranBushBoy: who ask you ![]() ![]() BiafranBushBoy: thank you next time will call you to help me think before i dump the trash.... Thanks God bless 1 Like |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by BiafranBushBoy: 9:42pm On May 01, 2017 |
optional1: Piss off and your god's blessing!! |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by optional1(f): 9:50pm On May 01, 2017 |
BiafranBushBoy: lolz why are you piss off now oga prof... Did i say any wrong? |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by dingbang(m): 10:30pm On May 01, 2017 |
So you want to take permission from nairalanders before you want to marry abi? If I were you, I will do some research.. Find out how much it will cost me to do a traditional marriage dat is very affordable for me in my current financial capability, second.. Find out how much brideprice I can afford to pay den find a girl from dat tribe... 1 Like |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by loshybab(m): 10:33pm On May 01, 2017 |
Bandwagon:In your early thirty,if at that age,you're feared you might fail as a married man,then I bet the fear will continue to stare at your face till you clock your early 40s. The best way to allay your fears is to face them. Your time starts now bro. goodluck! |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by OnyeEgo1(m): 12:30am On May 02, 2017 |
Why do u want to box urself by urself who dey pressure u go marry?? Na by force ni |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by baby124: 12:48am On May 02, 2017 |
Find a woman that is working and please work on yourself and your financial stability too. Make it a project for the both of you and be humble and faithful. There are some women out there who will love you and work with you. Just make sure you never forsake such a woman. Goodluck. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by femi4: 4:02am On May 02, 2017 |
Bandwagon:When you can feed yourself and two other mouths comfortably..... you can start thinking of financially ready to settle down. 2 Likes |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by rex444(m): 6:35am On May 02, 2017 |
God has a way of showing himself when times get harder..... take the bull by the horn but while at it don't settle down with a liability...look for a graduate who is enthusiastic about working or earning 1 Like |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 7:48am On May 02, 2017 |
Thanks baby124 and rex444 all I needed was some morale booster. @Dingbang I'm not after any ceremonies now. I guess a family introduction will do at this moment. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by dingbang(m): 7:55am On May 02, 2017 |
Bandwagon:ok bro.. U can proceed. Take a step further... |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by KizzyyRae(f): 1:58pm On May 02, 2017 |
Reading this,one thing gets my attention, "I'm also of the opinion that I may be motivated to work harder and think smarter when I have responsibility he's staring at me. Perhaps my limited responsibility isn't enough motivation to make a breakthrough." I'm not trying to call you lazy or anything at all so please don't misunderstand.. but if the fact that ur very serious about taking a wife and starting a family isn't enough motivation already for you to work harder and think smarter then I don't know what should be. 3 Likes |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 2:53pm On May 02, 2017 |
KizzyyRae: Even though I won't say I'm lazy but I'm pretty sure I'm not doing enough. That's why I'm having the opinion that more responsibilities will make me sit right, focus and work harder. It's just an opinion. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by KizzyyRae(f): 3:04pm On May 02, 2017 |
Bandwagon:Okay if u think so. Buh right now do you have anyone in mind? If u do cool ,then maybe u should take d next step as per getting married or atleast jst take a step and just see how it goes.if u feel responsibities will "ginger" you, You being married should be enough motivation...babies should come after your "breakthrough" .I'm sure u want them to have d best..don't experiment.. wish u all the best xx |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 3:10pm On May 02, 2017 |
KizzyyRae: I don't have any particular person in mind right now. Dates could be expensive these days so it prevents me from going out to meet people. I sure want to best for my kids . |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 4:00pm On May 02, 2017 |
Marry a working class lady. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Nobody: 5:31pm On May 02, 2017 |
MissCuppy:Good suggestion. Just don't know which is better between a salary earner and someone who learnt a craft or trade. |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by Diplomaticbeing(m): 6:12pm On May 02, 2017 |
@OP Nobel people settle to marry they don't marry to settle. . . However, settling in this regard is always subjective, its on the basis on an individual future set-standard. Also, note that it's not the early morning bird that catches the day. More so, a sane and sound person that lives on other people's opinions is not better than a dead person - that doesn't mean that they don't seek for advices or listen to other people's opinions, no. By the way, only small-minded people competes with others while nobel people creates their own paths and encrypts it. My submissions will only make sense to you if you're a realist. However, if you're an idealist, which means you're a faith proponent like every religious person is, then it won't surprise me if it makes no meanings to you. 1 Like |
Re: I'm In A Dilemma....i Need Your Advice. by dahmie2013: 9:37am On May 03, 2017 |
Responsibilities don't have 2 stare @ ur face b4 u can work hard & smart. In short, dis is d best time 2 think & make d best decisions concerning ur life. Now, d distractns are less so it gives u room 2 focus. If u don't feel right abt raising a family now, don't pressure urself. |
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