I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.

I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.

My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.

I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time?

You are the best person to tell us if the relationship is worth fighting for or not. From your write up, it obvious the guy is not into you like that, it seems you are the one forcing the whole thing on him.. .. Abeg let him be. Move on with your life.
Someone better will come

Na wa O. Should he now marry you by force. Person say he no get money for real gold or expensive things.

Hmm...

I think u re too pushy and u have a nag for picking a fight over trivial issues ,maybr na too much book.sweet heart no african man will stick to a lady that argue and fight everytime with big big grammar. Gold was not in the wedding item u got angry.i think ur guy just tire for ur tomuch drama.listen girl in nigeria here a guy that travel to u.s to see his babe deserves worship from other ladies and am sure he has seen a worshipper... Not a fighter

Stop fighting your lovers.

madone:
I think u re too pushy and u have a nag for picking a fight over trivial issues ,maybr na too much book.sweet heart no african man will stick to a lady that argue and fight everytime with big big grammar. Gold was not in the wedding item u got angry.i think ur guy just tire for ur tomuch drama.listen girl in nigeria here a guy that travel to u.s to see his babe deserves worship from other ladies and am sure he has seen a worshipper... Not a fighter

The above is the best advice anyone can give you. Please stop picking fight over trivial things. Reach out to him, I believe you guys love each other in time he is going to calm down. Though you can register your displeasure that you don't like cheap things, but it doesn't worth fighting over.

So you had a fight because nigga no put gold item?

I would have deleted everything about you that same day too.

Don't be offended o, but this is the best that you deserve right now.

;let me keep this space Nd come bk to comment


the poster above me ..pls am in front of ur back Incase..

Nothing person no go read for Nairaland.

ikp120:
So you had a fight because nigga no put gold item?

I would have deleted everything about you that same day too.

Don't be offended o, but this is the best that you deserve right now.

seriously do u really think all d while sh dey US sh nor try taste oyinbo prick..idonbeliveit.

OgahBohz:
;let me keep this space Nd come bk to comment



the poster above me ..pls am in front of ur back Incase..

...

Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.

Think.

You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?

If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?

As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.

Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise.

He said he doesn't want you anymore....then look for your boyfriend else....or do you wanna keep begging him.....just leave him alone and cheer up..... 7yrs relationship sef na wahala

madone:
I think u re too pushy and u have a nag for picking a fight over trivial issues ,maybr na too much book.sweet heart no african man will stick to a lady that argue and fight everytime with big big grammar. Gold was not in the wedding item u got angry.i think ur guy just tire for ur tomuch drama.listen girl in nigeria here a guy that travel to u.s to see his babe deserves worship from other ladies and am sure he has seen a worshipper... Not a fighter

Op deactivated

Long distance relationship sucks. From Abuja to Lagos is difficult not to mention you're completely out of the country.

I don't give a Bleep about what anyone says till I hear from both parties cos people are always quick at playing the victim card.

Drama and Nigeria girls are like 5 and 6.

Everyone playing the victim.... But u shud know the guys worth before been so xpectant... So as ur parents... As for the porn, abeg get useful instead of pikin issues up

PatriotTemidayo:
Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.

Think.

You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?

If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?

As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.

Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise.

COURT don close,.case finished............thumbs up,...let her continue playing "he loves me,he loves me not" with green card and expecting box of Gold....a man will soon come along that will give it to her sit her ass down to be making babies like machine and go about devouring other women...she should ask tonto them.............

Today is my birthdayyyyy
Show me love fam

Xmen149:


COURT don close,.case finished............thumbs up,...let her continue playing "he loves me,he loves me not" with green card and expecting box of Gold....a man will soon come along that will give it to her sit her ass down to be making babies like machine and go about devouring other women...she should ask tonto them.............

Word!
Correct!

PatriotTemidayo:
Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.

Think.

You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?

If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?

As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.

Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise.

best advice, between me and u I think the gal family is against the marriage secretly.

Urukpe:


best advice, between me and u I think the gal family is against the marriage secretly.

Exactly my thought too. And the lady in question doesn't understand the game plan by the parents.
They cant tell her directly to leave the guy cuz they fear she'll retort cuz she's highly educated and a bit liberal since she lives in the US, so they instead wanna plant contempt and bitterness in her mind for the guy. Its a trick. And she doesn't know it.

Lol. So OP picked a fight with her bf because he was watching porn? Smh. Not because he was caught cheating o, because he was watching ordinary porn that 99.79% of men watch including pastors? OP must be a drama queen.

PatriotTemidayo:


Exactly my thought too. And the lady in question doesn't understand the game plan by the parents.
They cant tell her directly to leave the guy cuz they fear she'll retort cuz she's highly educated and a bit liberal since she lives in the US, so they instead wanna plant contempt and bitterness in her mind for the guy. Its a trick. And she doesn't know it.

I concur

Aderola15:

with pleasure....bows wit hands spreadout.. Nd a slight smile on ma lips..saying thank u

Hmmm

His excuse for breaking up is just an excuse, what
he really wish for is a wife that answers "Yes Sir" to
everything he does and you don't happen to fit that
description.
So, let him go for his type.

Next time, don't put your eggs in one basket.

Cx