| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by femmy2010(m): 9:10am On May 10, 2017 |
I would run too if my fiance fights me cos i didn't put any Gold Jewelry in what i brought as i think it has to do more with what we truly feel for ourselves than what we bring for a formal introduction .
Our parents are our very best ally and can do that to a fault atimes .They blew the 'No Gold Jewelry ' out of proportion and you took to a massive issue level too.
My guess is your proposed inlaws too felt embarrassed about this too .
Talk to your Man and be wise enough to make your mother inlaw an ally .
The only thing your man needs is RESPECT .Give him this and he would give you all the gold in the world . 10 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by ceejay80s(m): 9:11am On May 10, 2017 |
lanrywatt:
You are the best person to tell us if the relationship is worth fighting for or not. From your write up, it obvious the guy is not into you like that, it seems you are the one forcing the whole thing on him.. .. Abeg let him be. Move on with your life.
Someone better will come  abi? marriage is not a by force by fire thing, even if it takes her a hundred years to find the right man ,the better for her |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by keni: 9:11am On May 10, 2017 |
SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.
I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.
My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.
I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time? Aye le ooo Ibosi oooo!!!! |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by dotedote: 9:11am On May 10, 2017 |
Truth be told, I think you're immature. You picked a fight cos he used ur laptop to watch porn ? I guess you'd prefer he went to get a brand new Sony Laptop @ Walmart just to do that. Your parents getting angry cos he didn't add gold to their collections (which suggests gold was actually listed) That tells the kinda home you're from (smh) You'd better tell your parents to get you one of their friends', colleagues' sons to marry you.
My dear, you'd better wake up from your slumber and go all out to look for this "Best Bachelor" cos you're not easily gonna find a fiancée who would travel to see you in the US several times.
From ur story, it shows how ur parents raised you so I'd suggest you get ur settings back to default. They'd probably get you messed up if you keep allowing them to meddle in your affairs unnecessarily. How could they send some of those thongs to you just to get you upset ? Na wah o 6 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by grafixdon: 9:11am On May 10, 2017 |
Effiezynews:
So many worthless fights,I had a headache reading this..You fought a man cos of a Indecency movie?? Gosh!Ladies,watch porn more than guys..I have seen many Indecency movies,I'm a lady but that doesn't make me a corrupt 'kid' You had a man that travelled all the way to see you in the US,you no even happy..Some of Us got dumped cos our men wouldn't travelled down the closest state to visit us. You have the define what you want because from the look of things you are as unstable as Vitamin C..Touché Nice one |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Duru009(m): 9:12am On May 10, 2017 |
Been in a relationship doesn't mean he must marry you. 1 Like |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by ceejay80s(m): 9:12am On May 10, 2017 |
SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.
I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.
My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.
I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time? my dear ,he is not worth it , find some body else, i am available 07032659200 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Fortissimo502: 9:13am On May 10, 2017 |
If you guys have already done court then y'all aren't engaged anymore. You are married. |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by infantlion(m): 9:13am On May 10, 2017 |
Am single |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Nobody: 9:13am On May 10, 2017 |
CuddleMe:
The one God gave to her she rejected him. Op is a drama Queen, she nag cause of gold which was not among the items on her wedding list. She's a spoilt brat. PhD and green card are swelling her head. 6 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by ChiefSweetus: 9:14am On May 10, 2017 |
OP sounds like a silver spoon entitled petulant nag with snobbish mother who didnt work hard but became proud when her gentle husband hit gold. Mother wants society wedding with Chief & Mrs Bleep's rich and handsome son. OPs boyfriend is selfmade. His monthly earning is about 600k right now.. but they dont know he's going to be way more successful in 10yrs. Even if they know, they dont care.. they want their sweet and intelligent USA PHD daughter to marry into old money or "pedigree". OPs boyfriend is finally realising the truth. There will be no happiness with an insatiable horror of a mother in law.. and a naive nagging entitled sanctimonous princess bride who doesnt even suck dïckkk.  His ego has kept him in the relationship thus far because he enjoys his friends telling oboy your babe set.. fine girl, rich family, even if she no sabi cook baba una go hire maid. Also, OP is Roman Catholic and boyfriend isnt. If I'm wrong on any of these I'll delete my NL. 24 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Klington: 9:14am On May 10, 2017 |
From all indications,,,,,,,, u're too classy for the guy.......... Just let him go unless u're ready to adjust....... 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by CuddleMe(f): 9:14am On May 10, 2017 |
nairaman66:
He was watching porn and you fought with him? How nice.. I weak, porn that everybody watch both male and females. 2 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by sotall(m): 9:16am On May 10, 2017 |
The original poster came to nairaland with her worries like a beaten child running to seek refuge in the arms of an elder.But what did she get? Another round of spanking obviously bigger than what she was running from. In the end, she is more confused than she was before creating this thread.
what an irony of life! 8 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Gkay1(m): 9:17am On May 10, 2017 |
PatriotTemidayo:
Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.
Think.
You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?
If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?
As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.
Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise. this is the best advice for you. |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by omolorlarh: 9:17am On May 10, 2017 |
PatriotTemidayo:
Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.
Think.
You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?
If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?
As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.
Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise. |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Abee79(m): 9:17am On May 10, 2017 |
PatriotTemidayo:
Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.
Think.
You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?
If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?
As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.
Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise. So so on point! There is event a tint of arrogance in her write-up  1 Like 
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| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by CuddleMe(f): 9:17am On May 10, 2017 |
elfmann:
PhD and green card are swelling her head. She's pained cause they can't control the guy the way her family wants. Her entire family is the problem not the fiancé 2 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Nobody: 9:17am On May 10, 2017 |
But it's not today you know your man doesn't have money, you've been dating for 7 years so you should know what he can afford
What was his excuse for buying the cheap items, was it valid? Let us know
Why do you nag so much na, you should discuss more than you quarrel. I know it's painful for him to give cheap things but he might have a valid reason
If he wants to go, discuss with him and ask him why, if he doesn't want to remain with you again will you kill him?
So many guys will be desperate to marry you for your green card, pick the best of them and marry. Good luck 1 Like |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by iamdare(m): 9:18am On May 10, 2017 |
That's 7yrs imprisonment.
Madam, it's obvious u guys have not be communicatin well enouhg. And am sure d distance is not an excuse for this. For instance, ordinarily u guys shud av discussed things to put in the box even bfr he presented them. And sry to say this, I think u shud be submissive 1 Like |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by slurryeye2: 9:18am On May 10, 2017 |
Trina0936:
What do you mean? The fact is the whites don't do sentiments like blacks and that is why they enjoy life more. If it isn't working,move on! Simple!! You said white people's lifes are much better than those of blacks. As someone that lives with them, have them as colleagues and interact with them on daily basis for over 6 years now, I will rather be a black man over and over again. See, the problem black race has is that humongous number of us are ignorant. Get black people enlightened and see them rule the world. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by remiopash: 9:18am On May 10, 2017 |
SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.
I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.
My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.
I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time? You should not have let him know you were angry because he didn't send you gold..Since you asked the motive behind it and he told you the reason (to me it's a good reason). We all know how postal agencies work sometimes..what about if he bought gold and they all lost in transit? would you still marry him or call the marriage off because of the loss?African Men dont like a woman that dictates too much for them ,they like a woman that can shine their ego,even if it small.. 2 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by richiepolymer(m): 9:18am On May 10, 2017 |
SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.
I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.
My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.
I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time? This is the biggest challenge with too much education for the African woman. Now gragra has set in because of PhD. Did you have this same mindset when you were just a first degree holder? So your worth is a box of gold jewelry? Even jewelry made from brass can carry the best impressions of love from your partner if you are in tune with his frequency. Someone travelled all the way to see you in the U.S and all that put you off is a box of Gold  Haba!!!! Madam, don't worry.....go search for the kind of love you want. I wish you well. Andjust so you know, your man has gone to be with the one who values the little things. Why travel far again for someone who doesn't know the value? Don't let all your achievements or family's status get into your head. True happiness may just elude you if you're not cautious 7 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by dangotesmummy: 9:19am On May 10, 2017 |
ChiefSweetus:
OP sounds like a silver spoon entitled petulant nag with snobbish mother who didnt work hard but became proud when her gentle husband hit gold.
Mother wants society wedding with Chief & Mrs Bleep's rich and handsome son.
OPs boyfriend is selfmade. His monthly earning is about 600k right now.. but they dont know he's going to be way more successful in 10yrs. Even if they know, they dont care.. they want their sweet and intelligent USA PHD daughter to marry into old money or "pedigree".
OPs boyfriend is finally realising the truth. There will be no happiness with an insatiable horror of a mother in law.. and a naive nagging entitled sanctimonous princess bride who doesnt even suck dïckkk.
His ego has kept him in the relationship thus far because he enjoys his friends telling oboy your babe set.. fine girl, rich family, even if she no sabi cook baba una go hire maid.
Also, OP is Roman Catholic and boyfriend isnt.
If I'm wrong on any of these I'll delete my NL. my God.where did you get all these from How do you people get to judge and conclude on a person's life history based on what she typed here? So it is wrong for a woman to WANT because she's a woman.SHE CANNOT WANT? After all you men say I WANT A HARDWORKING WOMAN I WANT AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN I WANT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN but a woman should not want or know what she wants because she's a woman and for her to want makes her unreasonable, spoilt over pampered and entitled. What kind of men are our mothers raising for goodness sake.smh 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Nobody: 9:21am On May 10, 2017 |
ceejay80s:
my dear ,he is not worth it , find some body else, i am available
07032659200 Look at this gold digger looking for free opportunity to travel to the USA. Shameless man 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Emmahunk(m): 9:22am On May 10, 2017 |
Engaged to a guy for guy for SEVEN YEARS!
What were you thinking? |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by visi123: 9:22am On May 10, 2017 |
Is it not you that wanted gold, and the couldn't afford it. Because of this you didn't communicate with him for weeks. Wait for the guy with gold |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Nobody: 9:22am On May 10, 2017 |
sotall:
The original poster came to nairaland with her worries like a beaten child running to seek refuge in the arms of an elder.But what did she get? Another round of spanking obviously bigger than what she was running from. In the end, she is more confused than she was before creating this thread.
what an irony of life! 
|
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by condomuser: 9:23am On May 10, 2017 |
Call me when your Greencard is out. I go marry you. |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Acidosis(m): 9:23am On May 10, 2017 |
When a drama queen got a Ph.D 
I do not envy your man at all... 3 Likes |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Nobody: 9:24am On May 10, 2017 |
ChiefSweetus:
OP sounds like a silver spoon entitled petulant nag with snobbish mother who didnt work hard but became proud when her gentle husband hit gold.
Mother wants society wedding with Chief & Mrs Bleep's rich and handsome son.
OPs boyfriend is selfmade. His monthly earning is about 600k right now.. but they dont know he's going to be way more successful in 10yrs. Even if they know, they dont care.. they want their sweet and intelligent USA PHD daughter to marry into old money or "pedigree".
OPs boyfriend is finally realising the truth. There will be no happiness with an insatiable horror of a mother in law.. and a naive nagging entitled sanctimonous princess bride who doesnt even suck dïckkk.
His ego has kept him in the relationship thus far because he enjoys his friends telling oboy your babe set.. fine girl, rich family, even if she no sabi cook baba una go hire maid.
Also, OP is Roman Catholic and boyfriend isnt.
If I'm wrong on any of these I'll delete my NL. Are the guy who dumped her lame ass or you know them in person. Your contribution is revealing |
| Re: After Dating For 7 Years, He Called Off Our Engagement. by Gkay1(m): 9:24am On May 10, 2017 |
it is well |
