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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? (94738 Views)
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Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by IdisuleOurOwn(m): 7:45pm On May 12, 2017 |
Demmzy15: in form of concealing on a paper. Like if a person wrote out op point on a certain topic and you in turn don't feel like tying, all u need to do is to conceal. Drawing line on what is written. You have done it here on severally. Hope you understand? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:01pm On May 12, 2017 |
IdisuleOurOwn: You mean this? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by IdisuleOurOwn(m): 8:18pm On May 12, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:Yeah |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:20pm On May 12, 2017 |
IdisuleOurOwn: Put the text inbetween [s][/s] |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 8:23pm On May 12, 2017 |
IdisuleOurOwn:OK, you meant "cancelling" abi.... It's |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Empiree: 9:09pm On May 12, 2017 |
Another matrimonial madness 1 Like
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Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 7:36pm On May 17, 2017 |
To the brothers, What's your take on allowing your woman to work, will you stop her? Why(yes or no).... To the sisters what's your take on a man that stops you from working.... |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 7:46pm On May 17, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:If she wants to work, fine, but I'll stop it if it involves: 1. Working in an 'unislamic' environment. 2. When the job deprives me or the children her attention(always preoccupied with her job) Also as the husband, I'll try my utmost best not to put my job before my family. May Allaah protect us all! 3 Likes |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:28pm On May 17, 2017 |
Demmzy15: Fair enough.... So what kind of jobs would you consider acceptable to you? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 9:26pm On May 17, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:Doctor, Medical Laboratory officer or whatever they call it, but definitely not in an office! |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by FriendNG: 9:53pm On May 17, 2017 |
Demmzy15: Shuuu Doctor?. If she they on call. 2.00, 3.00 o clock in the night, if dem call her she must go. Your children will de with nanny. But I can sacrifice it. 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 10:02pm On May 17, 2017 |
Demmzy15: Do you think a doctor will have the time you said you need? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 10:14pm On May 17, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:Chaiiiii, this guys don trap me wooo There are different kinds of doctor, there are different departments and there are shifts. I think we'll work with these conditions! Cc FriendNG 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by FriendNG: 10:26pm On May 17, 2017 |
Demmzy15: Perhaps you don't know the meaning of Doctor on call. After working the normal hours, she can be call anytime within the remaining hours of the day or night. Whether she is on morning shift or not. 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Mofpearl: 1:20am On May 18, 2017 |
Demmzy15: All offices? If no, what type? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Mofpearl: 7:02am On May 18, 2017 |
I don't see a reason why a man should stop me from working if the environment is Islamic and if it doesn't affect my obligations towards my family. This is especially true when there are no kids invloved. When kids are invloved, both parents need to modify their priorities and realize they brought these kids into the world and children have rights over their parents. A nanny's job DOES NOT include raising kids and they CANNOT replace parents. Having a nanny is fine but the nanny shouldn't become like a parent to the child. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Mofpearl: 7:11am On May 18, 2017 |
There are some cases where both parents work and its up to the job of the nanny to raise the child. Picture this- Nanny wakes kids, prepare their meals and takes them to school with driver. Nanny picks child up from school, listens to report from teacher, again cooks and serves child. The tutor or sometimes nanny does the homework with the child. Mum comes home from work the last thing on her mind is to listen to the child talk about his/her day or play with them. So she give the child a tablet or phone and lets him/her watch TV. Children especially at a young age need their parents. If not, they get their values from other people. The child is closer to the nanny than the mum, the child gets his/her values from the nanny and sometimes even take the religion of the nanny * this actually happens* Or let's say the mum stays at home and the dad works all the time. The kids don't know anything about their dad except that he's the person to ask for money. If you need money, dad will pay. That's the role the dad plays. If a dad isn't there for his kids when they are young, its a lot harder to change that when they are older. The issue isn't about working or not working. Sometimes a mum stays at home and the nanny is the one raising the kids. At the same time, there are children there are parents who work and still raise their children. Its an issue of prioritizing and accepting the responsibility to raise children. At the end of the day money doesn't buy a healthy family relationship. Money doesn't buy a child's love or respect. Money doesn't buy emotional bonds. 3 Likes |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Mofpearl: 7:29am On May 18, 2017 |
^^ Won't derail the thread any longer. 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 7:38am On May 18, 2017 |
That's not a derailment, plus it was a very beneficial contribution, jazakillaah khayran... Personally I don't see anything wrong with my woman working even tho I will be happy if she does not work at all, but that does not mean I'll force her to stay at home, if she wants to work, fine, but it shouldn't disturb her obligations towards the family, nurturing the children, although nurturing the children is not the job of only the mother, rather both parents are involved but the kids need both the father and the mother especially the mother, also if her work does not contradict Islam, then its OK.... 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 7:41am On May 18, 2017 |
Setting up a business (if Allaah enriches me to that extent) for her where her reach won't be far from home will be much more preferable to me, but like I've said if she wants to work, no problem, conditions must be met... |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Mofpearl: 7:49am On May 18, 2017 |
One last thing. Housewives are extremely underappreciated. When I stayed home during the holiday, I tried to do more house chores, cook, play games and do homework with my siblings. It was exhausting. Before completing one task, you realize its time to start another. Before you are done cleaning, you realize its almost time for the kids to come back from school so you have to start cooking. So husbands should appreciate their stay at home wives. Additionally, they should them monthly allowances. Really, a stay at home wife does a lot to keep the family running and it only fair to give her an allowance for her personal keeping- not just money to go to the market and buy foodstuff. She should have her own personal savings as well. She has her own needs and wants. Its sad that a woman asks her husband for money to buy something as little as sanitary pad. Later if she starts working, the husband would be the first to complain that it's affecting the family. Women should also know that they can demand a monthly allowance as part of the marriage contract. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 9:15am On May 18, 2017 |
Mofpearl:Office jobs like civil service, bankers and the likes. I don't like it because, there's a room for rough play especially with crazy bosses! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 9:17am On May 18, 2017 |
FriendNG:I can accept it, if it's not everytime. No be her be the only doctor na! 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 12:28pm On May 18, 2017 |
If they are not doing namaz(Salah) before you marry them, what makes you think they are going to start doing namaz(Salah) when you marry them... The Sheikh Al Albani (Rahimahullah) brings a better understanding to think about... The Imaam (Rahimahullah) said, “If a suitor’s uprightness in his [day to day] life is not known before he proposes, you’re going to make it a condition that he prays(Salah) and gives charity [after he’s married?]! Someone greater than you, your Creator and his, [already] stipulated that condition on him—so if he’s failed to meet the provision set by the Lord of the Worlds, won’t he fail to meet one set by a humble man? For that reason, this stipulation, my brother, is ink on paper of no value.” Al-Hudaa wan-Noor, 174. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Ssthorm(f): 2:09pm On May 18, 2017 |
Hmnn...so much for "thoughts". lets pray for strength dt wud help in dificult times in marriage ameen. I wana ask. In a case where a woman is a doc. N has to see male patients Wich wud include examining dem, down to genitals as d case may be. Wat is d stand in islam on ds? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Mofpearl: 2:17pm On May 18, 2017 |
Ssthorm: A male patient should see a male doctor and a female patient should see a female doctor. Seeing a doctor of the opposite gender should be the last option and if there is no available male doctor then it is okay. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Ssthorm(f): 5:08pm On May 18, 2017 |
Mofpearl: Jazaakallah...tnks fo ur reply. I was axn d qstn cux som1 above made mention of not associatn wt men as a criterion for a woman's job. N being practical in ng. V.few if not all...nly few jobs r exclusivly fo women n dnt involve d oda gender. So if at all dere r any,i would want to know keeping in mind being practical,our envirnmnt ng. Those i cn tnk of dt r professional jobs are teaching or lecturing(wich isnt a total exclusion anyways), while others r mainly menial jobs....e.g a woman braidn in her home or selling a couple items at home e.t.c.Becuz if a doc. Who has d most exposure wt d opp. Sex in d long run has 2 see her patients,Wat other possible job exposure wt d opposite sex cud dere be? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Mofpearl: 5:28pm On May 18, 2017 |
Ssthorm: I feel you. I have been recently thinking about this for a while now. In the hospital, you get male patients and sometime are alone with them. Sometimes, they ask for your number and things like this. I am not sure how things work in Nigeria but hospitals can try balancing their the ratio of male health workers with their female counterpart. For example I was in a male unit and 95% of the nurses were males. In the female units, there aren't any male staffs allowed in at all- the entire staffs were female- security, cleaners etc. Similar methods can be implemented in Nigeria. It's not about the job being exclusively for women but the interaction with the opposite gender. For example teaching isn't exclusive to any gender. A woman can teach in an all girls school rather than at an all boys school. The same applies when working in a hospital but we don't always have the choice to decide who we work with. I am not sure I completely understood your last point but the realtionship between a doc and a patient is professional. 2 Likes |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 1:15pm On May 20, 2017 |
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Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 4:22pm On May 20, 2017 |
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Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by osolee(m): 12:51pm On May 22, 2017 |
A pious sister is needed!! |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Alennsar(f): 8:55pm On May 22, 2017 |
BOSS OF D HOUSE Dear husbands, Being the amir of your house is not just about being the commander or inspector general of your crib, akhi, am not here to teach you how to take care of your wife, am only here to remind you about somethings you have stopped doing for her! . Ask yourself, was this how your marriage was in its early days? Why has the romantic words stopped? Why has the gifts and texts stopped? Why has the nasheeds u do sing for her stopped? Why has ur romantic voice for her turned into a gorilla's voice? Why has d jokes and fun around d house stopped? Why has assisting her in d kitchen stopped? Why did u get married to ur phone along d line? With ur phone, u don't need calculators, calendar, wrist watch and maps again, but atleast don't let ur phone also take u away from your wife. . Your wife is in d kitchen holding d baby in one hand and breastfeeding him, and steering d soup wit her other hand, yet u are in d parlour wit ur legs on d table watching film wit one eyes and reading newspapers wit d other eyes? And tomorrow u see ur self as a sunnatic husband! When she complains dat she needs ur assistance in d kitchen, You'd be like: did u allow me to get a housegirl? Why a housegirl, why don't u get a houseBOY for her and let's see if u won't have d same "fear" she has about housegirls! . Akhi, imagine entering ur matrimonial room tonight, but u are all alone in d room, d room is no longer "pink" its now "blackish" because u just finished observing ur wife's janazah and u just buried her? Appreciate ur wife NOW, for u don't know what the next one hour has to offer! . The prophet salallahu alayhi wassalam was married to over 11 wives yet he never made them shed a tear for even one day, today many men cannot even manage just one wife witout making her cry every month! What a moment of reflection..... . That ur wife doesn't shed a phsyical tear doesn't mean she doesn't cry, the weeping of d heart is worse than the physical tear! Women are more of emotional than intellectual, she may weep internally all night and u won't even know. Men are more of intellectual than emotional, use ur intellect to keep her happy! For she is someone's daughter, she is an "egg", if u wouldn't want ur egg cracked, do not crack someone's egg too! . Many are men who come to facebook to post: "20 ways to keep ur wife happy" Yet his own wife is dying for his attention at home and he is too busy for her because of "chatting". Your wife is lying down beside u looking at u, yet u don't even know because you are busy arguing aqeedah issues on a whatsapp group the whole evening! . Akhi, before you come to facebook to give marriage success tips, make sure ur own marriage is succesful first! . Rekindle d love in ur home today, don't let ur niqabite shed another tear ever again, because a tear contains 1% water and 99% feelings! When a wife has a good husband, its easily seen on her face! When a husband has a good wife, its easily seen in his skin. May Allah rectify our homes, Aameen. i dont know. maybe dis is d right place to paste dis but dis is happening for real 2 Likes |
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