Everything stated here is my opinion and I can be wrong. So bear with me. This is going to be partly theory base, opinion and experience. You are free to add yours. But please don't turn this thread into culture and religious bashing. That's not going to help. Definitely I am going to cite few element of religious and cultural effects on this issue.


Read on

African growth is very slow when it comes to parenting at tender age compared to Western world. Take a look at the picture below The guy on the right with beard and elbow up is a friend of mine. He's 40 years old. His first son is on the left and celebrating his birthday today @23. Why is African growth so slow?

Here is my personal opinion. Most African men of old are greedy and the very cause of this. Whether they are christians or muslims doesn't matter. Also I think economy situation contributes and debars them from getting their children who have reached puberty to get married but that's not always the case. Primary problem is, in my opinion, they want to enjoy their social lives to the fullest before their children are enlightened. They see it as competition if their children were to give birth whilst they still socially function. They say 'face your studies".

This lopsided practice is very prevalent in Yoruba culture. Hausa people are very right in this yet we blame them. At least they marry their children off as they reach puberty. But Western culture don't get their children married at that age. They see marriage as old fashion even as grown men and women. Their children may get pregnant at very young age when a grown man in Africa has no idea how to relate with opposite s!x. Western women are matured really quick except for a few. It is very possible to see a 19 yr old girl living in the West with a kid or 2 while a 19 years old Yoruba boy has no idea how to woo a woman. Not only wooing a girl but very immature and not thinking about raising kids at that age.

Besides, despite having 23 years old boy, he has other children by different women. He's now a grandfather. He has two teenage girls who also have babies age 3 and 1. He also has set of two boys maybe 3 or 4 yrs old. His sister is 36. She also has 4 kids. Age 21, 19, 18 and 10. Her 21 years old daughter also has a child. This means she was 14 or 15 when she gave birth to her first child. Imagine at that time, most African boys and girls have no idea how to relate with opposite s!x. This is what gave birth to modern immoral s!xual exposure today in nigeria in my humble opinion. At the time this lady gave birth to her now 21yr old daughter, a nigerian girl at same age probably just having a child now. Not because of problems giving birth but immaturity.

We can always blame our parents for delay in parenting. As a minor having kids means sacrificing your youth. You don't want to bring kids into the world to suffer. That's the main point as some would allege. In Africa, most parents are not ready to assist in raising your kids when they still cater for you. But for the lucky ones, they may have kids for older person in a stable relationship who can take care of the kids. In Western world, as long as the two parties concerned have kids or by mistake, the provision are there whether with support of parents or not and that is the point that may be missing if we compare the two worlds. For women though, it is quite easy to share their burden.

On the other hand, Western folks who happen to give birth very early may have their kids end up in foster home. That's a problem because the kids may not have proper parental care. That is the case with the guy in this picture. He too was in foster home when he was 2. His sister's kids (nieces) also were in foster homes but everything is fine with them now. My point here though is African men (Yoruba) simply dont want the idea of their children having a child early. I dont know of the current situation there now. I am talking about when i was growing up. Those boys in the 90s who happened to have a child in the 90s usually ran away. I remember a family friend at 19 years old in 1992. Got a lady pregnant and ran off. The child is now 24. Everything is good now but was really rough and tough in the beginning. The thing is, the difference is those Yoruba boys who had kids at tender age by "mistake" had no parents consent. This is contrary to Hausas where they deliberately give their children in marriage because it is part of their fundamental beliefs and culture. Although some Yoruba men are enlightened and very understanding. Some of them simply fear of poverty which is understandable.



I am more concerned about the greedy ones. I believe that's the majority. Whether they greedy consciously or not they are guilty because it has negative effect now. Now this is going to be personal. Growing up in the 90s, I had a family friend about my age. His daddy is rich and married multiple wives of 4. He always undermined his children. Not want them talk to opposite s!x. Publicly disgraced them at least indirectly. For instance, there was a day he ordered his two boys who were 18 and 19 in 1999 to cut grass in front of the house. Daddy stood outside prying eyes on them. A well known very light skinned lady was passing by and daddy kept his eyes fixated on the boys. The young one who is known to flirt with women notice the lady and stood to pry but daddy embarrassed him. And the girl smiled and walked faster. The girl lived in the hood. Also, his daughter got pregnant in college and he ordered her to abort the pregnancy but his daughter was 22 years old in year 2000 when she pregnant. His children concluded that he simply doesn't want competition. True or not, that's how i see it too bcus he also had a new baby by his last wife same year.



So i believe that this unnecessary strictness is the genesis of this 21st century s!exual exposure which includes rape, unwanted pregnancy and many out of wedlock children, lack of self confidence talking with opposite s!x (for men) without screwing up religious line. Many are old now in their 30s and still single. Most of them lack self confidence. So they seek other means like brothel etc. Remember this problem is prevalent in both muslim and christian homes. For muslim daddies as greedy like this, are they following Islamic injunction?. Definitely not. In these 5 mins videos, the Sheik gave his thought and I agree with him.



I brought this thread up because I have noticed overtime, online and offline many Yoruba and some others in their 30s are single and "looking". They prefer to come online and register on dating websites where they can easily express themselves to their potential partners rather than in person. Some of them have vigorously complained about their parents being obstacles. Yoruba boys and girls between 15 and 20 years old in the 90s with kids at that time were most likely "The Fujis" and "The Jujus" could be matured in this level at that time. But so called "well brought" homes?, nah except for a few.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJQxliwKyG4


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbcd-gxBpLQ

The OP is lengthy and discursive. Are you a Muslim?

Sad, but true, I'm also facing this problem currently, although I'm a confident person relating with the opposite sèx, lol, gained that in my "jahiliyyah" days ..... The main excuse my parents are giving is the economy issue and i reason with them.

.

OLAADEGBU:
The OP is lengthy and discursive. Are you a Muslim?

IS THAT WHAT YOU BENEFIT FROM THE POST

tola9ja:


IS THAT WHAT YOU BENEFIT FROM THE POST

it seems he did not read. He thinks it is about religion per se.

@empiree
Seun‘s robot don ban me for that section until 01:53 am today. I don tire sef

I dont think they see them until the ruhaniyyun/angels come down here, transformed. Maybe some powerful mu‘min/waliy among them with KASHAF.

If you hold on to what dad is doing, they‘ll naturally flock to you, they like staying with those they are familiar with. Its easier for his sons (blood) to inherit them than starting afresh & you wont need to labour like he did, since he has done that already. You can ask him to teach you exactly how he started. Its a rare opportunity & part of his inheritance he laboured for that should be inherited.

Its not only one ruhanyya they are many including the legion of muslim jinns under them too, thats the norm, that one is just their chief. (you already have some of them with you without knowing sef )

^^^^

You and se.un self. I don't even want to mention his moniker. He banned me for a week for mentioning his name a while back.

I wont reply to this here.

Empiree:
^^^^

You and se.un self. I don't even want to mention his moniker. He banned me for a week for mentioning his name a while back.

I wont reply to this here.

Lolz but people mention him everywhere anyhow now ? Na wa o.

ikupakuti:
@empiree
Seun‘s robot don ban me for that section until 01:53 am today. I don tire sef

I dont think they see them until the ruhaniyyun/angels come down here, transformed. Maybe some powerful mu‘min/waliy among them with KASHAF.

If you hold on to what dad is doing, they‘ll naturally flock to you, they like staying with those they are familiar with. Its easier for his sons (blood) to inherit them than starting afresh & you wont need to labour like he did, since he has done that already. You can ask him to teach you exactly how he started. Its a rare opportunity & part of his inheritance he laboured for that should be inherited.

Its not only one ruhanyya they are many including the legion of muslim jinns under them too, thats the norm, that one is just their chief. (you already have some of them with you without knowing sef )

I beg help us unblock our sheikh ooo.
Cc Sissie, seun, mukinna2

Empiree:
^^^^

You and se.un self. I don't even want to mention his moniker. He banned me for a week for mentioning his name a while back.

I wont reply to this here.

Salam Alaykum
I wanted to reply Lanrexlan post on the Plot of women question and I got banned again.
Can you help mention the mods to unban me?
I keep on getting banned from the Islamic section.

Empiree:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJQxliwKyG4


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbcd-gxBpLQ

Assalamualaikum warahamatullah
Good evening sir
Please sir check your email
Thank you sir