Polygamy is a personal choice and I dislike it when people that are in favor of it try to push it down other peoples throat, or try to demean Monogamy
Those that support Polygamy are :

-men that love to acquire wives like properties just because it is allowed, because I do not see how a man can love 3/4 women equally, they should stop using religion as an excuse. We have Muslim men who stick to one wife and we have Christians with 3 wives

- Women who feel that they can never get a single man to marry them will start preaching polygamy up and down

- Women that are already in polygamous relationship or marriages ,(their husband is sleeping around, another woman outside is pregnant for the man or they are already 2nd/4rd wife somewhere) abi ? what else can they do but to accept their fate.

bikerboy1:
Some women though, so what you want is to marry an ex-prisoner SMH

Do you know how difficult it is to stay without sex expecially when you are already used to it?

I once met a lady whose husband traveled out of the country and four 4 freaking years she has not had sex...

She was practically begging me to just massage her body after I vehemently turned her sexual overturns down and you won't believe that at a stage I was starting "to feel sorru" for her but I stood my ground anyways...

Now this is a lady that is still married to a guy that might have gotten married in another country ....now imagine that lovely young widow with a child or two keeping to her self for years and we expect a 35year old widow to hold body till she grows old and dies...habba let's be fair in our reasoning.

I have seen many ladies who have threatened to kill their husbands over second wife wahala just for them to end up as a cuncubine of a married man after the untimely death of their husbands.

I can't agree any less with you.

personally tho, I can't handle more than one

Aiyekoto2017:
Polygamy is a personal choice and I dislike it when people that are in favor of it try to push it down other peoples throat, or try to demean Monogamy
Those that support Polygamy are :

-men that love to acquire wives like properties just because it is allowed, because I do not see how a man can love 3/4 women equally, they should stop using religion as an excuse. We have Muslim men who stick to one wife and we have Christians with 3 wives

- Women who feel that they can never get a single man to marry them will start preaching polygamy up and down

- Women that are already in polygamous relationship or marriages ,(their husband is sleeping around, another woman outside is pregnant for the man or they are already 2nd/4rd wife somewhere) abi ? what else can they do but to accept their fate.

Polygamy by force ni

Toks2008:
Before you all begin to wonder what I'm up to this time I would like to state clearly that Polygamy is a matter of choice and I'm not promoting polygamy
but i want us to have an unbiased and non hypocritical down to earth discussion about this deep and sensitive one man one wife concept.

Everyday we see series of prewedding pics,we see pics of a happily married lady with her husband and lovely children and we see ladies gush over their significant other not forgetting those who will threaten fire and brimstone if their hubby ever imagine the possibility of a second wife but I want these ladies to wait and think for a minute about that young widow who is faced with the challenges of being a single parent...about that innocent divorcee whose husband against all odds threw her out...about that mature unmarried single mum that keeps meeting unserious unmarried single men and about that unmarried lady who is probably in her 40s and have had series of heart break from callous single men....

Yes we know that the aforementioned set of ladies could still marry a never married single guy but except we want to fool each other we all know that in most cases if single guys have the choice to make,they would mostly go for single ladies with no child rather than a young widow with children,a young divorcee with children or a single mum.

The big question is "Who will marry this set of ladies? I know it will be easy for anyone to quickly say shebi there are widowers, male divorcees with children or even single guys who can still marry them but it is easier to say this if you are not in their shoes.

No matter how hard some people go against polygamy,i strongly believe it is the answer to the prayers of some ladies but what can I say in a world where hypocrisy is a norm? a world where a man of 70 celebrates 40years monogamous wedding anniversary with one lady while keeping other children with different mothers outside the same marriage...and a crazy world where even the young married men who sing the "i love my my wife" lyrics will gladly keep side chics... oh I guess it's OK as long as these men are married to one lady...hmmmmm!

In my opinion I believe the one man one woman concept is flawed for many reasons...and it is a good thing Islam is not against it neither is the bible asides the "advice" given in the bible to General overseers to be husband of one wife.

Conclusively I would leave this topic open for discussion but when next you see a widow with children,a lady divorcee with children or a single mum finding solace in the hands of a married man,before you start judging just wait,close your eyes for a minute and put yourself in their position and ask yourself..."should i continue to wait for single men who hardly want to marry me?, should i remain celibate and continue to burn with passion?, should i just throw caution to the wind and allow different men take advantage of my condition by having flings with me?, or should i gladly allow a married man to have me as a wife as long as he has the finance to take care of his polygamous status?

And if you are a married lady reading this...please before you start lashing out at me,wait till you find yourself in such situations.

I don't know if this makes sense but I leave it open for you all to discuss.

You made total sense

Only people that understand deep things will really understand this thread.

U could easily tell when a shallow understanding speaks.

Toks2008:
Before you all begin to wonder what I'm up to this time I would like to state clearly that Polygamy is a matter of choice and I'm not promoting polygamy
but i want us to have an unbiased and non hypocritical down to earth discussion about this deep and sensitive one man one wife concept.

Everyday we see series of prewedding pics,we see pics of a happily married lady with her husband and lovely children and we see ladies gush over their significant other not forgetting those who will threaten fire and brimstone if their hubby ever imagine the possibility of a second wife but I want these ladies to wait and think for a minute about that young widow who is faced with the challenges of being a single parent...about that innocent divorcee whose husband against all odds threw her out...about that mature unmarried single mum that keeps meeting unserious unmarried single men and about that unmarried lady who is probably in her 40s and have had series of heart break from callous single men....

Yes we know that the aforementioned set of ladies could still marry a never married single guy but except we want to fool each other we all know that in most cases if single guys have the choice to make,they would mostly go for single ladies with no child rather than a young widow with children,a young divorcee with children or a single mum.

The big question is "Who will marry this set of ladies? I know it will be easy for anyone to quickly say shebi there are widowers, male divorcees with children or even single guys who can still marry them but it is easier to say this if you are not in their shoes.

No matter how hard some people go against polygamy,i strongly believe it is the answer to the prayers of some ladies but what can I say in a world where hypocrisy is a norm? a world where a man of 70 celebrates 40years monogamous wedding anniversary with one lady while keeping other children with different mothers outside the same marriage...and a crazy world where even the young married men who sing the "i love my my wife" lyrics will gladly keep side chics... oh I guess it's OK as long as these men are married to one lady...hmmmmm!

In my opinion I believe the one man one woman concept is flawed for many reasons...and it is a good thing Islam is not against it neither is the bible asides the "advice" given in the bible to General overseers to be husband of one wife.

Conclusively I would leave this topic open for discussion but when next you see a widow with children,a lady divorcee with children or a single mum finding solace in the hands of a married man,before you start judging just wait,close your eyes for a minute and put yourself in their position and ask yourself..."should i continue to wait for single men who hardly want to marry me?, should i remain celibate and continue to burn with passion?, should i just throw caution to the wind and allow different men take advantage of my condition by having flings with me?, or should i gladly allow a married man to have me as a wife as long as he has the finance to take care of his polygamous status?

And if you are a married lady reading this...please before you start lashing out at me,wait till you find yourself in such situations.

I don't know if this makes sense but I leave it open for you all to discuss.

I m with you on this, thank you. you have spoken

When I create a thread that concerns ladies and I see very few contributions from them then it's a way of them saying "I'm right"

Toks2008:


I'm not cut out for polygamy but guys who can handle can gladly go ahead.

my friend this topic should be on quora,you have more intelligent Nigerians there

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stephenmorris:
my friend this topic should be on quora,you have more intelligent Nigerians there

Which one be quora?

Toks2008:


Which one be quora?

it's a forum,just search for it on Google and register

Toks2008:


You make a lot of sense...

I was advicing a young lady yesterday and I told her....work hard,be very financially independent and you will be the one to choose men and she was so amazed but that is the truth. .

If you are a lady who makes good money on your own,whether you are a widow with 5 children,you are most likely to still see a fresh guy to marry you because guys love independent ladies...

Nevertheless somewhere down the line,the guy may end up having another lady in his life but would still hold his wife in high esteem.

The right balance is needed between being financially stable(I don't like the word independent, it has been over hyped), and submissive to land and remain in a marital home even for a young single lady.

emekatuso:
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All the best bro...the Lord is your strength...remember that prayer and fasting can unlock any door.

as some one who has a first hand experience of what it is like growing in a polygamous home, I will not even wish it on my enemy,such a life devoid of Peace
.which is why I made up my mind that should my future husband decide to take a second wife, i would rather leave, but when if it turns out he impregnated another woman, I would rather he brings the child home without the mother

stephenmorris:
it's a forum,just search for it on Google and register

OK Done. Thanks.

Everything you said is true fact, hypocrisy is the order of the day while we deceive ourselves esp. In this part of Nigeria the northerners are building their population, so when next they come out with a voters strength of 2mill no need shouting foul. Think

Thecassanova:

So u can allow your brother of 30 to marry a 38yrs old widow? Let's be realistic here. The only men available are either widow too or married. Simple.

Is there anything wrong about it?

loveanonymity:
Some people think I am crazy when I tell them I don't mind my husband marrying a widow, divorcee or older unmarried women, but you spoke my reasons. All the single guys saying there will be people that will marry them, I put this question to them: can you marry any of them? A few that will say yes might even be playing lip service. I won't let my man know I don't care about it cos I think guys want ladies to be possesive of them too but honestly I don't care as long as he is capable, just and still shows me love and affection.

You're the real woman,

Toks2008:
Before you all begin to wonder what I'm up to this time I would like to state clearly that Polygamy is a matter of choice and I'm not promoting polygamy
but i want us to have an unbiased and non hypocritical down to earth discussion about this deep and sensitive one man one wife concept.

Everyday we see series of prewedding pics,we see pics of a happily married lady with her husband and lovely children and we see ladies gush over their significant other not forgetting those who will threaten fire and brimstone if their hubby ever imagine the possibility of a second wife but I want these ladies to wait and think for a minute about that young widow who is faced with the challenges of being a single parent...about that innocent divorcee whose husband against all odds threw her out...about that mature unmarried single mum that keeps meeting unserious unmarried single men and about that unmarried lady who is probably in her 40s and have had series of heart break from callous single men....

Yes we know that the aforementioned set of ladies could still marry a never married single guy but except we want to fool each other we all know that in most cases if single guys have the choice to make,they would mostly go for single ladies with no child rather than a young widow with children,a young divorcee with children or a single mum.

The big question is "Who will marry this set of ladies? I know it will be easy for anyone to quickly say shebi there are widowers, male divorcees with children or even single guys who can still marry them but it is easier to say this if you are not in their shoes.

No matter how hard some people go against polygamy,i strongly believe it is the answer to the prayers of some ladies but what can I say in a world where hypocrisy is a norm? a world where a man of 70 celebrates 40years monogamous wedding anniversary with one lady while keeping other children with different mothers outside the same marriage...and a crazy world where even the young married men who sing the "i love my my wife" lyrics will gladly keep side chics... oh I guess it's OK as long as these men are married to one lady...hmmmmm!

In my opinion I believe the one man one woman concept is flawed for many reasons...and it is a good thing Islam is not against it neither is the bible asides the "advice" given in the bible to General overseers to be husband of one wife.

Conclusively I would leave this topic open for discussion but when next you see a widow with children,a lady divorcee with children or a single mum finding solace in the hands of a married man,before you start judging just wait,close your eyes for a minute and put yourself in their position and ask yourself..."should i continue to wait for single men who hardly want to marry me?, should i remain celibate and continue to burn with passion?, should i just throw caution to the wind and allow different men take advantage of my condition by having flings with me?, or should i gladly allow a married man to have me as a wife as long as he has the finance to take care of his polygamous status?

And if you are a married lady reading this...please before you start lashing out at me,wait till you find yourself in such situations.

I don't know if this makes sense but I leave it open for you all to discuss.

Trust me, it totally doesn't make sense. The usual crap from a promiscuous mind!

If not for the majority of our ladies' excessive choosy attitude, there should always be a man for every woman (whether divorcees, widows or whatever).

The 2006 census clearly showed that there are more males than females in Nigeria. So better stop looking for si.lly reasons to justify infidelity by the menfolk.

http://nigeria.opendataforafrica.org/xspplpb/nigeria-census

In 1991, males accounted for 50.04% and females 49.96% of the population (a male/female ratio of 1.001). The distribution in 2006 has males accounting for 51.21% and females,48.79%(a male/female ratio of 1.050).

And while the gradual dwindling of our country's female population as the years go by, is a thing of great concern (partly due to the usual oppression of the female gender in Nigeria & the general preferance to birth male children by Nigerian couples), the chauvinistic OP is here justifying rubbish.

loveanonymity:
Some people think I am crazy when I tell them I don't mind my husband marrying a widow, divorcee or older unmarried women, but you spoke my reasons. All the single guys saying there will be people that will marry them, I put this question to them: can you marry any of them? A few that will say yes might even be playing lip service. I won't let my man know I don't care about it cos I think guys want ladies to be possesive of them too but honestly I don't care as long as he is capable, just and still shows me love and affection.

In Yoruba, "Orisa je npe meji obirin o si" meaning, no woman ever prayed for a rival in relationships. Unless, of course, she doesn't love or give a damn about the man.

I guess the second part applies to you unless you're the one "playing lip service" here.

This opinion is based on the premise that all women must marry. But that isn't the case - not by desire or by doctrine. Even the Bible does not preach that.

According to Mathew 19:11 - 12.
But Jesus said, not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. Some from birth, seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked or accepted.

And according to 1 Corinthians 7: 8-11.
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot excercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this charge (not I, but The Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband ( but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

A society that bullies women into marriage by heckling and harassing unmarried women, while still claiming to uphold Christian values, should take a second look at itself to recognize its hypocrisy. The requirement is a secular one, and the least we could do is admit it to ourselves instead of being so soulless as to seek ratification for our barbarism in Christianity. The decision, to marry or not, should belong to the individual alone.

And now that we have established that this culture has no Christian basis, we can dispense with the weight of Christian morality and speak freely. You promote polygamy as a remedy to have every woman matched with one man, or half a man, or a quarter of a man. Of course that would be a man's solution to the 'problem'. But you cannot determine the course of a river, the will of the water and its weight will forge its own path. Essentially, by gravity. While you might prefer this to be the logical option, because the market value of the man would appreciate greatly, obeying the laws of economics; the buyer can make the decision to abstain from a product or choose alternative brands. Already in society, women are growing more independent and living lives they've chosen for themselves free of duress, and some have decided to live with partners of their own gender. Especially widows or older divorced women who are not interested in having anymore children, and only want the benefit of companionship and sex. Given that men are too few to go round, should lesbianism still be denied? It would also be a logical solution to the 'problem'. Are you going to latch on to Christian morals now, to protect your own selfish interests?

Some men revel in their scarcity. But they should be bothered by it. Women are. Why do you think there is so much technological advancement towards living without them? Harnessing genetic material, replicating sex organs, becoming financially independent. To prevent a situation where one can be held to ransom, people would logically seek independence of scarce commodities. The intent is clear and i can see why people keep appealing to a sense of morality to uphold conservative values. But polygamy? Some women would prefer to stay single. For some women, who have attained a certain level of mental emancipation already, this suggestion would be on a similar level as preaching the necessity of slavery to the black man and asking him to willingly give up his freedom to maintain a certain necessary balance in the world.

If the OP weren't part of a pretentious generation who think men have all sense of entitlement, this topic would be a no-brainer. A man can marry several women, but a woman cannot?

If indeed women are more than men, whose fault is it anyway sef? With this desperate need to keep fycking to 'begat' a son.

If the OP loved a widow, divorcee or single mom, would his parents/neighbours encourage or disparage him should he have any intention to marry them AS 1ST WIVES? He conveniently forgets that these women are relegated to 2nd class citizens. because they are not 'brand new' and are of no other use than 2nd wives. Thank you society.

Being sexist that he is again, he prolly assumes that it is only men who think they don't want to get married but get sex where they want. NEWSFLASH! Some women don't want to as well. But the tags of the gossipy, male entitled/privileged, hating career women will not let these women live in peace.

BTW, the news bit only wants these men as human dildoes. They have not attained the statuses of husbands. Same way some of u guys see women as objects for pleasure. Two ge four.

Nice topic
What we consider to be okay here is totally dependent on what we believe!!! I believe that polygamy according to the scripture is wrong. So if God does not want a married man to commit adultery with another woman wethEr single or married or divorcee as the case may be,could it then be said that he has answered a divorcees prayer by providing a married man which is against his divine will? Ofcourse the answer is NO!!! So God didn't answer any prayer there. They both acted on their own and there are benefits and consequences for whatever step we take. We need to understand that life comes with challenges and sacrifices. Truth be told not every man or woman will et married in this life!!!!! Some will be happer single and worse of as a couple..so before taking any step, discover yourself and consult your God.

Toks2008:


So how will you answer the question I asked?

Nigeria's last census results indicate that there are more men than women in Nigeria. I don't know where you are getting your figures.

shayma:
There is nothing bad in polygamy if you are financially capable. Many people deceiving them self thinking they are deceiving GOd. You claim is a sin to marry two wife, but prefere to commit adultry by having side chick . Even to the extent of having child from another women outside. Wouldn't it better if you marry that side chick legally.
Who says is only polygamy that face problem in marriage. Mongamy do either. A lot of couple ends there marriage nowaday due to infidelity. Is not the availability of suplus marriageable women caused it.?I am not the fans of polygamy,but only GOd knows tomorrow. But it is just provoke me whenever i hear polygamy is a sin or is bad. One man one woman on my football. When you get many girlfriend you Bleep out side marriage. Who is deceiving who

You do know it's a lot better having a girlfriend than second wife?

With the girlfriend, no real commitment, so it doesn't come with so much responsibilities... And you won't have to face the issues of the wives trying to compete with other, and doing things fetish, dangerous, or whatchamacallit... to be on the winning side... I will never dare two wives... I rather not marry.

And Marriage is not a must... I think it is exaggerated... Most married couples are not happy, especially women...

Toks2008:


No matter how hard some people go against polygamy,i strongly believe it is the answer to the prayers of some ladies but what can I say in a world where hypocrisy is a norm? a world where a man of 70 celebrates 40years monogamous wedding anniversary with one lady while keeping other children with different mothers outside the same marriage...and a crazy world where even the young married men who sing the "i love my my wife" lyrics will gladly keep side chics... oh I guess it's OK as long as these men are married to one lady...hmmmmm!

Will you accept it if your wife is having a sugar daddy/fuckboy/side boy outside your marriage ? If you can not accept it then you're the hypocrite here. It takes sacrifice to be faithful to one wife , something you seem to find hard to do. If all you do and think is about sex then you'll probably want to sleep around. Already you have given up on becoming faithful to your wife , I pity whoever she will be. Women also have the same sexual urge we have , while some can not control theirs some still do and it should be the same for men.
Do not give me that bullshit about women outnumbering men , there was never a time women outnumbered men significantly.
The only thing I see here is a man who is not willing to make sacrifices for his wife and his home but expects her to , a man who's life revolves around sex and only trying to make excuses for his adulterous ways


And to think the poster is a Christian who has been commanded by his religion to marry one wife , it doesn't take being an atheist to do bad/evil , you're bad if you're bad , atheist or not.

neoapocalypse:





Will you accept it if your wife is having a sugar daddy/fuckboy/side boy outside your marriage ? If you can not accept it then you're the hypocrite here. It takes sacrifice to be faithful to one wife , something you seem to find hard to do. If all you do and think is about sex then you'll probably want to sleep around. Already you have given up on becoming faithful to your wife , I pity whoever she will be. Women also have the same sexual urge we have , while some can not control theirs some still do and it should be the same for men.
Do not give me that bullshit about women outnumbering men , there was never a time women outnumbered men significantly.
The only thing I see here is a man who is not willing to make sacrifices for his wife and his home but expects her to , a man who's life revolves around sex and only trying to make excuses for his adulterous ways


And to think the poster is a Christian who has been commanded by his religion to marry one wife , it doesn't take being an atheist to do bad/evil , you're bad if you're bad , atheist or not.

Have you ever heard the word "objectivity"?

Why not discuss the subject matter and leave the sentimental bashing...use your common sense to discuss objectively.