m[color=#000099][/color]

Hello, I'm a german woman. I'm 26 years old and got two sons. My first son that I got with my Ex-Bf, he is 9 years old now. My second son is 1 year old now, I got him with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and me, we are together since 3 years and 4 months now. He lives with me (moved in) since 14 months. Two brothers and one sister of him (real siblings) live here in Germany too. The sitster and the brother not so far from us. One brother of him a little bit more far. I met him when he was with his brother on a homeparty by my sister. His brother was a friend of one of my sisters friends. He was like just one month in Germany when I met him. He had Visa when he came here. But like one year later he told me it expired not to long after he came here. Before he told me it would still be valid. Okay, he told me then. He also told me he would be 7 years junger. He told me his real age, after our son was born.MY BOYFRIEND IS becoming 38 YEARS OLD soon. Before he said the year of birth in his passport would be wrong (for reasons). He said he was scared, that I wouldn't want him anymore, if I knew he is much elder than me. My first son got an nigerian dad too. With him I had a rs of 3 years back then. He is still taking care of his son. Supports him with money, picks him up every second weekend. etc. He also was in Nigeria with our son, when my son was 5 years old, to visit his family. It was a different case with my ex. He came to Germany as refugee and already had papers/ his status. Let's say, we were just jung and dumb to make a baby then. My 1 year old son, was my 'mistake'. My boyfriend and me didn't planed this (at least not so early, just some day in future). My ex was 3 years elder than me, but his passport said 5 months elder (so, I know how these things go sometimes). The passport of my boyfriend is real, with right age etc. (Saw the one from his 3 years elder brother too). One of his brother in Germany is married to a German woman with 3 kids (I have met him already). The other one wasn't married, but has a daughter with a german woman (no relationship). The sister is married to another nigerian man with 3 kids. His parents were in Germany last year for 3 months. We visited them often in that time (they lived by his sister then) so I know them too. I even talked with his other two brothers and his other sister on phone sometimes (they don't live in germany). His siblings and me, we text sometimes on WhatsApp or FB. My boyfriend even gives me the phone sometimes to talk to some of his friends in nigeria. My boyfriend is very supportive, and helps me with everything (with the kids, cleaning, cooking, etc.), as good as he can. He don't goes out to clubs or so. He don't like it. He makes a German Course right now and with a little luck, he gets a paper soon here, that allows him to stay and to work. I was working before pregnancy, but will go back to work in like nine months now. (Right now we just have some social-support.) He wants to look for a job soon then.

He told me a lot about this childhood, life, ex-gf he had before etc.

He accepts my first son completely.

I'm not one of the obese german women, neither old or ugly. Since birth a little bit "chubby" says my boyfriend, but he don't even want me to lose this little extra weight he says (even if I would like to). I know these kind of women are often "used" for some papers.

So... this to the background a little.


Now (without wanting to insult anybody or sounding respect less)....

I want to aks if someone thinks, that this relationship is really serious for him. I feel loved. I love him. No question. But I've heard from so many negative experience with german/nigerian relationships. That sometimes I start questioning myself, if this one is to nice to be true?

My boyfriend always says he loves me. And he wants to be together with me for the rest of his live. (I'm nervig him with some questions often)... Im asking over and over again, if he sees me in his future, if he loves me etc.p.p.

When we talk about future, then he wants a good job, a house for us etc.
But till now he never mentioned the topic of "Marriage"...

For now, it is not possible, but for soon in future, this is what I want!

He permanently tells me that this and this friend of his just married. (My friends are all marrying now too.)

But since he never came up with this topic or proposed or so....

The only things that I've heard to that was in one of our conversations, that he didn't wanted to ask me for marriage while he was still not legal here.

And to one of my questions, how serious our relationship is for him, that he said, he wouldn't have introduced me to his parents, if he wouldn't be serious.

We don't have any secrets from each other (at least, this is what I think)...
For example he allows me to always have his phone if I want to, or to just take it. Same with me and my phone for him.

Last time I just readet a conversation with him and his friend (a lot of pidgin english in there too - which I can't speak). And in this conversation his friend said he loves his oyinbo (white?!) Baby son, that he is so cute.
And my boyfriend wrote that he really needs to 'settle down wella'. His friend asked him if he comes to nigeria at all (I think for visiting?! ... it was pidgin) and my boyfriend said something like ' yes, but he has to 'fix things first'....

Now I'm confused (scared)....

Is he planing to settle down with me?
Or with someonelse (a nigerian woman) like I've heard so many storys like that....

I'm not so sure, cause everything he does and says feels like, he means ME...

but I'm somehow scared that he means someoneelse...

Don't want to insult anybody! It's just my fear from this kind of negative storys.

Sorry for the long text.

What do you people think?

German consultants over!!!

Were r those history or lit.English students?bia here ur attention is needed

It's all in your head so don't spoil what you have.

Who also did not have patience to read that enormous biography up there? At some point my eye come dey turn me

This

I feel loved. I love him.

as far as I am concerned is what matters.




I tried to form an image of him in my head using your description and honestly what I saw isn't someone that should be talking about marriage for these two reasons.


1. If he talks about marriage, you my dear will still wonder if he's trying to use you to get what he wants.

2. He's not ready for marriage, you know that too.

Typically, most Nigerian men who marry white women are only after papers but this guy actually sounds like he loves you and is genuine. He also told his friend he loves you and your son, which says a lot.

littlewonders:
Who also did not have patience to read that enormous biography up there? At some point my eye come dey turn me

Yea, I agree her English isn't good but then she's German.

They're proud of their language, English to them is just a bonus so bear with her.

@ kondomatic

Sry... my English is far from perfect, I know... but I try...

Kondomatic:
Yea, I agree her English isn't good but then she's German.

They're proud of their language, English to them is just a bonus so bear with her.

It wasn't about the English. The write-ups was just too much for me to continue. I know she's German.

@ notofthis

Thank you. I'm sure, you as a Nigerian Woman knows better about these things! :-)

Anonyma26:
@ kondomatic

Sry... my English is far from perfect, I know... but I try...

You put a lot of effort into writing that. You tried.

Anonyma26:
@ kondomatic

Sry... my English is far from perfect, I know... but I try...

You did your best my dear and I am sure that those who really want to advise you will be patient enough to read everything.

Kondomatic:
This as far as I am concerned is what matters.




I tried to form an image of him in my head using your description and honestly what I saw isn't someone that should be talking about marriage for these two reasons.


1. If he talks about marriage, you my dear will still wonder if he's trying to use you to get what he wants.

2. He's not ready for marriage, you know that too.

Yea, love is what matters!

But there is sometimes this little evil doubting-monster in my head. :-(

Hm... with the 1st one, this could be true.
With the 2nd one... I don't know... maybe... but why is he telling his friends then, that he needs to setlle down?

Kondomatic:
You did your best my dear and I am sure that those who really want to advise you will be patient enough to read everything.

Thank you :-)

Anonyma26:



Yea, love is what matters!

But there is sometimes this little evil doubting-monster in my head. :-(

Hm... with the 1st one, this could be true.
With the 2nd one... I don't know... maybe... but why is he telling his friends then, that he needs to setlle down?

Settle down in this context may not mean marriage. It could mean getting himself fixed, ie getting his papers, getting work etc. You get?

Halfpenny:
It's all in your head so don't spoil what you have.

Thanks for your opinion. Hope it is just in my head.

Kondomatic:
Settle down in this context may not mean marriage. It could mean getting himself fixed, ie getting his papers, getting work etc. You get?

Oh okay , thank you. :-)

littlewonders:


It wasn't about the English. The write-ups was just too much for me to continue. I know she's German.

Oh...ups... okay

Anonyma26:


Thanks for your opinion. Hope it is just in my head.

From what I've read I think it is. When he starts hiding his phone and coming home at all hours of the night, then you have a problem. I think you should really work on your negative mindset because you might push him out the door.

Halfpenny:


From what I've read I think it is. When he starts hiding his phone and coming home at all hours of the night, then you have a problem. I think you should really work on your negative mindset because you might push him out the door.

Thanks for your opinion and advice.

I'll try!

Anonyma26:


Thanks for your opinion and advice.

I'll try!

You're welcome and the best of luck.

Halfpenny:


You're welcome and the best of luck.

Thanks so much.

Couldn't grab a shit from the post.