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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck (36269 Views)
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My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by ominirajj: 9:14am On May 27, 2017 |
Hi matured minds I need an honest advice here. My husband has become a stumbling block for me, whenever i bring any opnion to him he sees the negative aspect only . i told him i want to learn hair dressing he goes against it, there was a time i got a job in airport hotel went against it. Now why am so depressed and sad is that i have went to field to train because i cannot afford money to attend GYM house what he have to say is that that place is not secure becos of thugs. This is a kind of man who doesnt contribute to my getting a befiting work, all he does condemn anything i do Am a Gospel artist , he wont allow me go for outings especially night vigils. Am i not in trouble already or what can i do? He is also violent and a bully 16 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by thorpido(m): 9:23am On May 27, 2017 |
What do you really want to do?He should know you as a gospel artist,not you just announcing it. Does your husband want to make you a housewife?I feel both of you should agree on what you can do and he should assist you. 15 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by femolacqua(m): 9:27am On May 27, 2017 |
This serious, I think you should see your Pastor to intervene and check what the cause of the issue. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by ojun50(m): 9:37am On May 27, 2017 |
Hw long did u guys dated befor getting married 65 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by ojun50(m): 9:39am On May 27, 2017 |
Did guys attend d same church befor getting married 9 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by carzola(m): 9:53am On May 27, 2017 |
Violent and a bully... Thats all you need to run.. His too obsessed and over Protective... Such people can Kill.. O don't want to type rip for you So run.. Carey your children if You have any and leave.. God would give you a job. 35 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by babythug(f): 9:53am On May 27, 2017 |
Dear OP it seems you've entered one chance oh! You will just have to continually find creative ways to get by in the relationship. Firstly since you know he will likely look for Loopholes in whatever proposals you bring work on the packaging a bit more. For eg you can say " dear husband economy is biting hard right now you are unable to provide all our needs as a family as such I've gone to source an extra source of income to help our family. The job is as xyz in a hotel. I will interact with visitors but be assured of my faithfulness to you" Another example " this my weight is bothering me gym will cost xyz can you please pay? If answer is no then you chip in the field and say other people exercise there safely so you'd be fine etc etc For everything you wanna present anticipate any loopholes he may exploit to discourage you! You will also have to firmly but politely insist on having your way in some instances too! He's your husband not your creator abeg Caveat emptor- I didn't initially see the bit about violence! OP you need external help to address that bit of the whole meme! Talk to professionals and stay safe 84 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by SURElee(f): 10:03am On May 27, 2017 |
Did you guys court or date at all? What were you guys discussing during your courtship days? A partner is suppose to be a pillar( destiny builder) and not a caterpillar( destiny killer/destroyer). You marry someone who shares your destiny and can play an active supportive role. Now you're married, what can we do now? But to say get your families involved to talk to him, so he knows you had a purpose/destiny before you married him. You shouldn't lose your destiny simply because of a marriage (ring and name change). OP about your weight issue, download bbm app on your phone and join the "BTRIM N HEALTHY" channel on the app. Then after reading transformation in ladies weightloss goals, you can join their weightloss paid class, it's highly interctive, motivating on whatsapp and then all exercises are/can be done at home. You need no gym membership. You will be glad you did. Am also proud I did, that's why I can. Vouch and recommend them. 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by sekundosekundo: 10:07am On May 27, 2017 |
ojun50: Pls it is not about how many years you dated b4 marriage. A pretender can date you 100yrs pretending to be good. I don't believe in long dating but I believe in sincerity. It took me 14 days after meeting my wife to ask for her hand in marriage, one month after we did our trad. two months after we did Church wedding. Yet I didn't see her pants until our wedding night and we are living happily. I think the problem with some people is insincerity in marriage. A lot of men and women are not sincere to their spouses and once the man or woman discovered that you have lied to him or her, forget it. In this case, I think the man is afraid maybe from past experience hence he's behaving this way. Until I hear from the man. Shalom. 112 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by izzou(m): 10:23am On May 27, 2017 |
How una take dey marry these kind of men without noticing their wolfic nature from the beginning? 12 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by Nobody: 11:22am On May 27, 2017 |
@OP, just to clarify the violent and bullying part. Has your hubby hit you or threatened to physically hit you (this is evil) Or is he just Verbally insultive (which is also bad). I feel your husband may actually want you to work, just that he's not comfortable with the ones (jobs) you've gotten so far. For example he mentioned that the first job wasn't quite safe considering the thugs and he has a good point. Unless you're 100% sure you wouldn't have any issue with the thugs when they start cat calling you etc. Also he doesn't trust those so called Night Vigils they hold in churches these days. A lot of things happen in churches these days, minus the fact that it's actually a safety risk to move out at night. I feel maybe your husband is a little bit insecure. Also if you can get a job with No RED flags, I doubt he will object. 22 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by Nobody: 12:54pm On May 27, 2017 |
Your husband sounds like a dream killer, someone who won't be happy to see you prosper. There's nothing you can do part from reporting him to your God. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by jauntty: 5:28pm On May 27, 2017 |
1. This is a one sided tale, so our opinions might be color blinded. 2. I think you hubby is concern about "social status" and is lil insecure, especially the Airport HOTEL job, going out for vigil and the GYM. Personally I won't allow it too . I have seen "things " happening in places 3. Saying NO is never enough tho, he owes you a duty to help you get a comfortable job or start a business he is comfortable with.... And not just saying NO. Let him suggest 4. For the GYM part, why not ask him to come along, if possible create a time that's comfortable for both of you, or he can help you with some DIY home gym stuff. 5. True life story, A friend had a similar problem, she finally settle for selling of drinks and wines in wholesale. Funny enough, the hubby lost his exotic bank job this year, so it's the Wify that's supporting the fam. 6. For the bully part, it's a NO NO, especially physical assault.... Run and get HELP. Omo, typing nor easy ooo ![]() 29 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by Nobody: 5:48pm On May 27, 2017 |
Two types of men you should never marry i. A foolish man. ii. An insecure man. While a foolish man will kill you out frustration from his illogical reasoning ability _ an insecure man will kill you out of anger, rage (this explains his violent trait), or create a situation where you can kill yourself out of depression. Your husband is probably suffering from scars of past experience. May we not be victims of anyone's 'ex-disappointments'. 10 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by AHCB: 5:58pm On May 27, 2017 |
ominirajj:Did he just develop this negativity or its been there since before you're dating? You should try and find out why he oppose anything you propose. Speak with him and let him tell you why he doesn't want you to be self sufficient. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by mastermaestro(m): 8:04pm On May 27, 2017 |
![]() 47 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by daben1(m): 10:05pm On May 27, 2017 |
femolacqua:which pastor? You think the pastor does not have his own marital issue? Must everything be pastor? 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by daben1(m): 10:06pm On May 27, 2017 |
mastermaestro:bless you brother!! 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by Acidosis(m): 5:37am On May 28, 2017 |
I also won't allow my wife work in any hotel...it doesn't matter whether the hotel is situated at the airport, Aso rock or White House. My wife won't attend any gym house, especially when the owner is related to Kemen of BBN. and lastly, I do not think I would allow her attend vigils alone in Nigeria, North in particular. In fact, I'm yet to understand the correlation between vigils and your talent. Nigerians are highly religious and vigils are specially made for prayers. If you're indeed talented, you'd look for a nearby studio, record label, etc., not night outings. Also for personal reasons, she won't learn 'hair dressing', 'make over' and other related jobs. Therefore, I would not be quick to judge your husband. I think you need to calm down and discuss your fears. 32 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by ominirajj: 3:19pm On May 28, 2017 |
[quote author=AHCB post=56934205]Did he just develop this negativity or its been there since before you're dating? You should try and find out why he oppose anything you propose. Speak with him and let him tell you why he doesn't want you to be self sufficient. [/quote That has been his nature i do not know what to do |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by ominirajj: 3:22pm On May 28, 2017 |
daben1:Am happy to let u know am not anyway wayward so watch what u say to others 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by ominirajj: 3:24pm On May 28, 2017 |
mastermaestro:Hey you am not in anyway wayward watch what u say to others 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by IhateAfonjas(m): 3:54pm On May 28, 2017 |
Yeah Your husband is a pain in the neck and you're a righteous saint The problem is that women don't know what they want You're the cause of your husband's behavior Change if it's not too late and you will see how your husband will start treating you I've never seen a woman who doesn't complain or never thinks she's right in everything she does If he married a humble and good wife, he shouldn't be having the kind of problems he's currently having with you Where's your poor husband to tell us why he's acting up and defend himself, we only heard your part of the story, of course you wouldn't admit to being a bad wife 5 Likes 1 Share
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Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by crazyABO(m): 3:54pm On May 28, 2017 |
Cut the neck off now ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by brunofarad(m): 3:55pm On May 28, 2017 |
Hmmm
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Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by soberdrunk(m): 3:55pm On May 28, 2017 |
Una nor date before una marry? Abi you didnt know the type of person you said "I do" to?? ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by neutrotoba(m): 3:55pm On May 28, 2017 |
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Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by hezy4real01(m): 3:56pm On May 28, 2017 |
My sister Change ur style try not to give a F**k about his orders, Ur husband could be enemy of progress 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by OGsteven(m): 3:56pm On May 28, 2017 |
He is probably feeling insecure or he has hatred for you #Lobatan 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by toxxnoni(m): 3:56pm On May 28, 2017 |
![]() We might just be what you are locking for Check signature in green colour down |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by Oyindidi(f): 3:57pm On May 28, 2017 |
Jealous and over possessive husband 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Become A Pain In My Neck by fpeter(f): 3:57pm On May 28, 2017 |
Discuss with him. Invite your pastor if necessary. Take a bold step in learning a craft or business without involving him. Shock him with your results. 1 Like |
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