obataokenwa:
from all my observations on your replies and story... the relationship resulted to a baby and that's the one killing you cos I'm not sure a sin of three years ago will hold you down this way. That child spirit is not in the right home and that's what's killing you. If the child is not his, you need divine intervention. and you have really told several people around you seeking for advice... you've compounded everything. Say the truth and we can handle it spiritually and maturely also... but for now you kept us in the dark. Sex of 2014 can't keep you so guilty like this Abeg. tell us, did it result to a baby?

Read the post again and stop adding your own imagination. Moreover you are a man and it is easy for men to cheat and forget it the next minute but as for women anytime such issue is mentioned either in the church, in a movie and at any event, everything comes back afresh. A woman's sin can bother her even after a 100 years.

MR JUDGE, if you were God im sure no man will be alive. im sure u have no sins,,

kaffy4tope:







Stop beating about the bush. Answer these questions or carry your fornicating life outta here.

@ istoctober,

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - Romans 3 vs 23

"Let him without sin cast the first stone" - John 8 vs 7

You are a good woman.

Our confessions should be to God. Your home may never remain the same if you confess to your husband. It will have more severe impact if the other party you cheated with is known to him.

Why did I say you are a good woman? I sense genuine repentance in your posts on this subject but you are filled with a ton of fear in deference to the sanctity of your marital vows. You need to let go of this fear. God is not man. He forgave you from the day you sought forgiveness and decided not to revel in your sin.

What your husband needs, is your unflinching and very genuine love.

Shamefully, the present trend is for spouses to cheat without remorse. You have shown remorse and I think your husband is lucky. I reiterate that you are a good woman.

I have failed severally, and I have always left an iota of strength to forgive my spouse if she ever finds herself in your condition. May be more difficult if the other person is a trusted known entity.

Finally, if the guilt is unbearable, if you deeply think you need to confess, you may go ahead. Pray and brace up for the consequences. The Almighty will always mend broken hearts willing to be repaired. The end will be joy.

David sinned by taking Bathsheba by force and plotting Uriah's death. He was found by God, he repented, suffered the consequences but eventually, same union produced a great contributor to the Bible, and the wisest king, Solomon.

Stay happy and strong. Let go of your guilt. Be a good wife and love your husband unconditionally.

The candid advice of a married man!

*hugs*

You are a typical nowadays wives,the difference is that your conscience is still alive.

60% of married women Bleep around...I guess your husband must be a gentleman?,I feel for him,that is the price he should pay for loving and caring for you to stupor.I was in that category.

Don't confess....assume it never happened and move on.

Women are all cheats,I pity those who marry them.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

now every body threatens with suicide like its beans like its the new cool or like its the fastest way to get people's attention or pity. don't get me wrong oh I've been there before but I don't see why you think committing suicide is even an option. you are simply pushing yourself too hard unnecessarily. you are judging yourself for a sin that despite talking to God you still don't find peace confessing to him won't give u peace either. just more trouble and tribulations than yould ever be able to handle. na devil dey push you oh wanting to frustrate you. use your head

Osaib:


Read the post again and stop adding your own imagination. Moreover you are a man and it is easy for men to cheat and forget it the next minute but as for women anytime such issue is mentioned either in the church, in a movie and at any event, everything comes back afresh. A woman's sin can bother her even after a 100 years.

I asked a question Pls and who knows it might be the guilt killing her. sex of three years tearing her up like that? There are more to her story Abeg. The worst she did it with a Pastor. very shameful

am not against restitution.wisdom is profitable to direct,when you are not at peace in your mind.it is one of the ways got speaks to you to return to him.When you have returned to God and still lack peace, then you need to make a second check.If you think, the devil also condemns and may steal your joy when you are ignorance of the word of God.I believe a right time will come when you wont need to struggle to confess to your husband,wait for the right button from God,he will signal you to do it if your lack of peace is from him.i must say that a lot of xtians are very ignorant about restituting and lack wisdom in this area.To solve your problem, read more of the bible and meditate more on the word of God, confess the word of God about forgiveness of sins.And also listen to faith fill sermons from great men of God.If your hubby finds out from external source and ask you about it.Tell him the truth irrespective of the outcome.
i believe strongly you need to excercise some restrain first, work on yourself first,when you have worked on yourself, then you are strong enough to face whatever thing that happens.doing the contrary may destroy you and your marriage and even make you lose faith in God.Please ignore whatever people say, even some so called Christians.when you build your relationship to a level with God,you just know what to do at the right time, the wisdom to handle anything that happens is given you.

holubee21:
My dear sister,this could happen to anybody...Truly God has forgiven u but you still need to restitute before your husband before heaven can be pleased with you..if u hadn't married,its another case but now u are married pray and ask for wisdom to put it down so u can av freedom of mind..

LexngtonSteele:


Yes Mr Mayprince.... please forgive her. I am the offending pastor. My rod is 12 inches, just used it to part her seas.

PLEASE, forgive and forget!

See me see trouble

Op God has forgiven u. If u truly repent. That's enough.

Do destroy ur hus by telling him...

taryour:
i really do not understand why majority of the comments on This thread are advising the op Not to confess to her husband, He is your husband damn it Not your boyfriend, you both ate bound together as one since you made vows.
if you decide Not to tell him and he later fines out, wouldn't that be worse, He would never ever believe you cheated just once, as a matter of fact he might never ever trust you again. You have committed a great offense now face the consequences of your action and do unto others What you want done onto you.

you have even disrespected him more by telling pastors before telling him, asking God for forgiveness and them confessing to your husband next would have done it all. no pastor has à say in Whatever happens in your home.

please confess to your husband and let your conscience be free. you don't have to do it to His face if you cant bear to look him in the eye, or fear of him getting violent. yea he Will send you parking but if he truly loves you and he is yours he Will forgive you and take you back. let him forgive you and accept you back as His woman whom he truly loves because he loves and wants you as His wife and Not because ppl begged him to forgive and accept you back..

but if at the end he doesn't accept you back, then that's the consequences of your actions, face it. at least your mind is free and you leave in peace. i Cant believe à passer told u not to confess. it is well. Do not let him find out himself, He is your husband Not your boyfriend and you cheated while you were married and Not before marriage. Best of luck

Although I didn't read all the way down...I think you already made the point somewhere...babe has got to confess, there are men out there who would catch their women banging some other dude and would just feel hurt and understand we are all humane afterall...the longer it takes the more men he would assume you've been with @op. OP should see it this way, what if he already knows and is just waiting for you to say it and settle things, see my dear OP...if you'd so badly wanted to make sure you keep up the rep with fam and hubby, you wouldn't have done that poo in the first place no matter what (I'm not judging...just been damñ straight). All this people telling you not to confess are not helping you, thy just want you to stay being a hoe living a miserable life.....Cos I don't see it not happening again, if you ran to your pastor for some support and you got this and now you're on NL, trust me you'd still carry this mata to anoda guy( maybe friend or colleague) cos e no go finish for your heart. Just tell him already, if he loves you, he would act based on the truth.

***Now I'm tired and I've got to quit typing...anyhow just pray, in the end you'll be fine...pele ehn.....ASIRI WA ONI TU

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

How can a married woman cheats on her husband? You need see the psychiatrist Pls. This is the only ground given to divorce in the Bible. Be prepared, you're leaving his house as immediately as you tell him. Me I no go gree ooo.

Has your husband ever cheated on you?

@istoctober. Pls, tell your husband, he deserves to know. Nd if he cant handle d truth, let him be. He will respect you for this nd most importantly you will proud of yourself taking the right step. You deserve the right to be happy and enjoy your marriage, the truth will always. Dnt mind all those saying dnt tell him, ask the if they are in your husbands shoes, wnt they want to know? As a matter of fact, it might surprise you to know that your husby knows about it, so just be honest nd shame the devil. Be positive about the outcome.

I really feel for you dear, I am a lady like you and I will advise you to listen to your pastors advise pls, you are too young in that relationship and I bet you are not ready for a divorce soon, that is the only parameter for a divorce according to the Bible. Make sure it doesn't happen again and maybe swear with your life that you will not cheat on Ur husband again that way you are sorted as you don't want to die yet. Things that can happen if you tell him are he will be justified to also pay you back if he finds an opportunity to cheat on you, he will take you for granted when you guys have a misunderstanding and even call you names and abuse your parents, he may involve his parents and you know that's the end of it. Think twice my sister, men are also guilty of this. Be closer to your God and be praying for your home, find a church and be serving God, an idle hands is the devil's workshop, the guilt will disappear overtime.

YelloweWest:
Op God has forgiven u. If u truly repent. That's enough.

Do destroy ur hus by telling him...

Really.....This babe said she can't seem to forgive herself and you think 'God' has forgiven her...... let me put it this way;

Repent= I am SORRY and will NOT do it again
True Repentance= I am VERY SORRY and it will and CAN NEVER happen again

Forgiveness= I am now ABOVE the situation.

The truth here remains that it's the OP that needs to forgive herself....the husband coming to knowledge is just to make sure 'we both know I did it and wouldn't do it again.....

***Am I even making any sense like this sef

It is God against whom all sins are committed. If God forgives you, then you are absolved. Read this and pray with it regularly:

Psalm 51King James Version (KJV)

51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar

nkemdi89:
Those telling you to confess are far from realities, if your story isn't fictitious, don't tell him because even men whose wife where kidnapped and later released the moment they are aware that she was raped they see her dirty and distance themselves from her not to talk of intentionally cheating on him. In my own tradition she will have to do proper spiritual cleansing before the man would accept her back. Tell me which modern man will go through all these humiliation involving his family members too and still welcome you with open hands? Most women in politics, banks , force and Civil servants commits adultery in order to get favour. Some are doing it for the good of the family while some greed and " mistakes" like yours. Most women commits abortion before getting married how many inform their spouse the number of times. For religious sake its wrong which makes it a sin but for your own good bend the principle of morality and conscience because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Way too matured.

DeshBee:
I really feel for you dear, I am a lady like you and I will advise you to listen to your pastors advise pls, you are too young in that relationship and I bet you are not ready for a divorce soon, that is the only parameter for a divorce according to the Bible. Make sure it doesn't happen again and maybe swear with your life that you will not cheat on Ur husband again that way you are sorted as you don't want to die yet. Things that can happen if you tell him are he will be justified to also pay you back if he finds an opportunity to cheat on you, he will take you for granted when you guys have a misunderstanding and even call you names and abuse your parents, he may involve his parents and you know that's the end of it. Think twice my sister, men are also guilty of this. Be closer to your God and be praying for your home, find a church and be serving God, an idle hands is the devil's workshop, the guilt will disappear overtime.

You see....she should listen to pastors advise, I'm sure you've not read the part regarding the ogbologbo pastor. There's only one price that guarantees FREEDOM according to the same Bible y'all be preaching.


TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH!!!!

Tori Olohun!!!!!!!!

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Ur fears are real. Pls tell ur pastor abt it before going ahead and pray very well. What you are about to do is called restitution.

SAVAGEBETS:
okay biiiishhhhh sit your faukeeen asssss down and take notes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas biiiiiaaaaaachhhh...In Mandela's voice... "Don't do it again". One last question, how many rounds did you go? Don't covfefe answer the question biiiiiiaaach.

Many are mad but few are roaming.

yoho66:
It is God against whom all sins are committed. If God forgives you, then you are absolved. Read this and pray with it regularly:

Psalm 51King James Version (KJV)

51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar

But unfortunately I don't think OP and majority of those advisors of hers know God, I mean the God you're talking about and not the one pastors have brainwashed people since the invention of religion.


OP FORGIVE YASEF AND OPEN UP TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, otherwise you're wasting your time in that mans house..

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Honey, just come home. I 4give you. I've done same too. Let's start on a new level.

Dear Lord,protect me from B*tch ass N*ggas and B*tch as B*tches too...Amen

At this point, you really don't know how he is going to react. You think he will end it but how sure are you about that. A real man who knows his wife is remorseful will forgive her and move on. That's when real love may begin for both of you. Just confess to him and tell him you will never do it again. You may be surprised to see he will forgive you. Good luck though

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

postpone the confession date cos he might go on a cheating spree in revenge
or
go ahead and tell him but make him promise you a soft landing before you confess.

You are just 32 yrs old. If you think coming out will bring a great relief for you, please come out and dare all consequences. I am not encouraging adultery, but do you think your man will have depression if he sleeps with another woman. Our society takes this serious on our women whereas men are having field day.

You have your freedom in your hands.Don't die before your time. God has forgiven you but if you think your freedom is attached to your confession, pls confess.. Even if you lose your marriage, that is not the end of the world. You are not the worst woman in the world. Some women are doing it everyday and they don't even have a re-think for a second. So, you are a good woman. You've not killed anyone. I am not encouraging adultery but I'm giving you boldness to face your adversary.

Please use wisdom to present it to your husband. Let it looks like you were hypnotized. Who knows may be the man of God truly use juju on you.

God has forgiven you. If you husband likes, he should not forgive you. Who knows may be he has done worse before..God is with you woman..Go and sin no more.

lurther:
@istoctober the only way you can get a genuine and real advice on what to do and how to go about this issue is to tell the real story of what happened.

It all depends on how and why you were lured to the pastor. Infact.....must tell us how it happened.

I can assure you one thing and you are feeling it.......your husband is about to know. Woe betide you....your husband knows from another source. That's the end...I repeat that's the end.

I don't even know how to go about advicing you, because your story is incomplete.

Amebo, you want hear story abi?

istoctober:


it was with a pastor in one of the pentecostal churches and he is still living in the sin of adultery. l still hate myself and curse that day for the act l committed.
Thx for your words, it means alot to me now.

The 1 good thing is that you seem to still have a conscience. I can't tell you to confess or not. whatever your decision you would have to bear the cross of the outcome.

And for women who respect and gullibly follow these pastors and god of men more than their husbands, this is 1 of the results.

Pastors are human and a good percentage of Nigerian pastors are manipulators and subject to different lusts.

The principal thing in life is wisdom.

I wish you the best ma.

istoctober:


l feel has forgiven me, but l have not forgiven myself. l have changed from such life ever since then.

[b][/b]such life? And your husband's words n suspicion suggest you were wayward. It also shows he will get to know eventually and that will be more devastating,like someone said only genuine repentance and totally trust in God will do it,If you trust in God tell him and be free from that bondage then watch what God will do. But the question is why did you cheat on him?

This is the result of being too religious....religious conditioning, it damages your conscience when u think u have done something wrong. Nonsense. U will just kill yourself for nothing while someone who has done something worse is living freely and enjoying life.

darlenese:
Dnt confess to him , try and forgive urself ,because God has forgive you . most men would cheat and won't evn confess or feel any remorse yet they still enjoy their marriage . ur life will become miserable if u confess.

En what are you saying, you sound confused "most men would cheat and won't even confess" what does that mean?Her life will become miserable if she confesses, that means you acknowledge the gravity of adultery.She will be even more miserable, if her husband finds out himself

Mayflowa:


Something is really wrong with you, not the cheating. Do you know how many times men cheat and still smile when they get home? You have prayed for forgiveness and you have been forgiven. Why are you then hard on yourself? The devil is the one rubbing this guilt on you until you lose your sanity and home. That is his work- to kill, steal and destroy.

Tell him and see that your situation now will be far better than after your confession. Pastors are the master of the game. lol. they cheat, ask for forgiveness, and never tell their spouses. Seriously, you are the one killing yourself. Your husband is probably cheating sef!

you are very foolish

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

To be honest, you don't really have to tell him. Not supporting what you did but if such information will lead to nasty outcomes (he can't handle the news), it's best to not reveal it, at least for now. Also, once you've forgiven yourself and come to peace with yourself, that's what's more important.

Learn to forget it and move on.