Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,168,853 members, 7,872,850 topics. Date: Wednesday, 26 June 2024 at 11:58 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him (105276 Views)
I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. / I Cheated On My Husband With A Guy From Work And I Don't Know What To Do. / Mourners At Man’s Burial In Enugu Confess To Killing Him With Juju (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) ... (29) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by benji93: 1:58am On Jun 04, 2017 |
shumuel:What!It appears as if you know a lot about Karma.That is you have experienced Karma in all its ramifications.Are you encouraging Men and Women to cheat, because it will be evened up eventually? |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by benility: 2:01am On Jun 04, 2017 |
[color=#550000][/color]Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, all things whatever you pray and ask for, believe that you have received them, and you shall have them". Pray for forgiveness and believe God has forgiven u. Pray for God's Devine favour and presence in ur family. Pray that God should touch the heart of ur Hubby. Then take a step further by telling him d whole story. God can only forgive us only if we will confess our sins and repent from them. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Hallmark08(m): 2:05am On Jun 04, 2017 |
What you should do in such event 1. Inform someone he respect so much about the occurrence, maybe his pastor 2. Tell the person your intention to reveals to him 3. Let that respected person be somewhere around when you want to let cart out of the bag 4. Blow out the trumpet, then wait for his reaction, surely it will be a nervous one 5. Alert the peacemaker hanging around to do the persuasion. 6. Wait for the consequence(s) , if there's any 7. Carry your cross and move on in case it backfired. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by AreaFada2: 2:06am On Jun 04, 2017 |
eyinjuege: This case is beyond just popping pills. Pills might improve some of the depression symptoms but won't remove the underlying cause:guilt. I was seriously empathetic with OP until I saw the Babalawo/Dibia bit. Her seeking advice here seems mostly due to fear of native doctor. Considering that it happened years ago and we're led to believe that she has been feeling guilty ever since. I hope that aspect wasn't "sexed up" to elicit sympathy. We Africans like to bring "God" into all our stuff. Considering the massive fvckery going on in the name of God by virtually everyone these days, I take all these remorse yarn and "God has forgiven me" stuff with a sizable pinch of salt. The F-up in our society surprisingly coincides with an era that everybody is now supposedly born-again. Call me traditional, superstitious or whatever, in my own culture OP would have basically condemned her hubby to death by still sleeping with him and cooking for him after her adultery. I have written about it with real life examples over the years here on NL. Some like to sneer at it. A major reason we must carefully consider "tagoing" with ladies outside of my culture. I have said often that most African cultures permit polygamy (irrespective of personal views, disadvantages or whatever). Just to inform pseudo-feminists in advance. Those who want parity can try parts of India were polyandry is allowed. @OP, Your hubby already suspects you. Or even already knows. He just seeks confirmation. Nobody can actually fully understand your burden (if real as you claim) or the enormity of the consequences. We can only imagine. If you have really wanted to confess over so many years, you would have worked out possible coping strategies. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by seguno2: 2:15am On Jun 04, 2017 |
eyinjuege: Best advice given. She needs to talk about it with the psychiatrist or better a psychotherapist to evacuate her mind and understand the root cause of the guilty feeling. OP and others, please take note. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by benji93: 2:20am On Jun 04, 2017 |
istoctober:I am not judging you.But i will be honest with you.I honestly dont know what you are doing here.Most humans always have that mindset that enables them accept comments that defends them.What you did was very very bad.It is difficult to provide an advise though.I dont think any form of advise here will suffice.But you have done something very terrible,a burden you will have to carry for the rest of your life.I doubt you will ever truely forgive yourself, particularly , if you dont tell him, you might never find that happiness, if you do, that might be the beginning of waywardness on the part of your husband, if he does not divorce you. I believe you are a christian, does the bible oblige you to confess to your husband?If you will be happy without telling him, keeping your marriage intact, then so be it.But wait ooo, are you sure you wont do it again, because you did it the first time.You must have that tendency(weakness).I hope it doesn't happen again.But if you will always be devastated by that, if you dont tell him, then tell himIf he finds out himself, that my just be the end of discussion.I pray that God grants you the wisdom to make the right choice. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Originalsly: 2:29am On Jun 04, 2017 |
Hmmm.... this is deep. You can't hide/run away from your conscience. Guilt is a form of torture... relief can only come through forgiveness. Confessing to the pastors is adding salt to the wound... they can only make the situation worse. Your husband is suspecting you of cheating because you are acting strange.... not your normal self. .. when the guilt surfaces... it shows on your face... he knows your thoughts are far away... and since you wouldn't discuss... it means you have something to hide.... and that can mean only one thing.... you are seeing someone else ... the reason why you are not comfortable around him. I think the only way to break free is to let it all out.... be prepared for the worse...which would be he shouting and screaming and sending you packing. You really think that's worse than living with a guilty conscience? I don't. Would that be too dear a price to pay for freeing your heart? I don't. I can guarantee you.... if your husband sends you packing.... within three days.... he'll forgive you and beg you to return. This happening three years ago makes a whole lot of difference....well... if it only happened once... not cheating with one guy. ..cheating just once.If only once I can see him really forgiving you and helping you to be yourself again. But it will take a lot of prayer and faith and trust to push the whole issue wayyyy into the background. Free your mind...let it out.... que sera, sara......whatever will be, will be. 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by anpipac: 2:44am On Jun 04, 2017 |
you hav no respect for ur marriage vow. it means u can also kill him out of pressure too. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by shumuel(m): 2:46am On Jun 04, 2017 |
benji93: That's not what i meant, you can re-read again for better understanding. Men do cheat, but attention is only paid to that of the females, i think that's injustice, or isn't it ? As we both know her husband might had also cheated, cheating or would also cheat, but would he tell it, no, i don't think so,, please let the woman rest biko. And yes Karma is real, a b!tch they call it. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Ericnrm(m): 2:46am On Jun 04, 2017 |
akpamuomenka:O Wise One,Kind carry your hypocrisy elsewhere while people offer tangible solutions as opposed to your religiously biased ones |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Great4God: 2:50am On Jun 04, 2017 |
You need to first forgive yourself,the holy book say" For all have sinned and cut short the glory of God", and also went ahead to ask"Should we remain in sin for grace to abound" and the answer is No Why quoting these verses, We are human, we are bound to derail-You did, But the good thing is that you still have your conscience alive,you feel remorseful about your action-So you did not remain in that particular sin,Let me then advice you 1. You have confessed to God and He has forgiven you-Just know that 2. Forgive your self-Very Important 3. DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT confess to your husband-It wont make things better for Him, for you and for your family, You emphasized that He will booth you out and you are so sure He will do that-The type of person you are from your write up, you can go into depression if such happens and you can hurt your self If your emotions cannot handle the guilt and you are hell bent on confessing to Him, Are you ready to live with the consequences, If he escalates that after your confession to Him,can you handle the stigma,the shame and the humiliation that will come even from the people that you are better off. As them they talk am, No body holy pass 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by shumuel(m): 2:55am On Jun 04, 2017 |
benji93: That's not what i meant, you can re-read again for better understanding. Men do cheat, but attention is only paid to that of the females, i think that's injustice, or isn't it ? As we both know her husband might had also cheated, cheating or would also cheat, but would he tell it, no, i don't think so,, please let the woman rest biko. And yes Karma is real, a b!tch they call it. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by YelloweWest: 2:56am On Jun 04, 2017 |
kumulus:She can forgive herself without letting her husband know... What of the have kids? Think of the marriage... I know it's self-catering but u must look at the wider picture |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by triplecare(m): 3:08am On Jun 04, 2017 |
The question shouldn't even be whether she should confess or not because she has to confess. The issue is how should she go about it? She sinned against God and her husband but only confessed to God - because we can't see God. You will continue to be a fraud until you confess to your husband. I can't even believe religious folks are trying to justify this using the Bible. See if know you're truly repentant, you must be ready to face the consequences, if not you're just looking for people to make you feel better, you won't until you do the right thing which is to confess to him. Whether he forgives you or not, whether the marriage remains or not, is up to him, maybe he will send you packing OR maybe he will resent you for some time, maybe he will respect you for coming out. BUT...if he finds out from another source... |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Kalman(m): 3:17am On Jun 04, 2017 |
istoctober: Dear Poster. I feel for you because I truely understand what you going through. This goes to tell a lot about you. An honest woman and rare one at that. However, that said, you have become a victim and what is left is to make your husband the other victim. I may not fully relate to this cause it happened to a good friend. However the outcome was amazing. This guy cried after being told and felt like taking his life because truth be told it's not just about you anymore. By confessing and at the end of it all, you would hear and realize that you have transferred you guilt and burden to him. Cause he will feel worthless and at the end of the day destroyed his ego in marriage. You will lose your self esteem as a woman as well. But again, if he is truely God fearing, which I seriously doubt (talking of the native doctor uncle), he will begin to clearly see Christ for who he truly is, in all image and likeness. No one can ever predict this outcome. But from my little experience, couple who have been through this usually come out the strongest. Trust me, they will love beyond the horizons. At this point, I ask you to pray fervently and ask the spirit for guidance and let him direct. If you choose to tell him... you will have done the right thing. If you chose not to.... you will still have done the right thing. Sometimes, some things are better left untold, cause by telling you can send a victim to an early death. But trust me, if your husband honestly and truly loves you till date, he'll forgive you. If he doesn't he'll send you packing. It is issues like this that allows me tell ladies to marry men who are head over heels in love with them and not the other way round. Because also, a man who truly loves will forgive and carry the burden of the offender instantly without even thinking. I pray you find a way out and share with us the outcome someday. PS: my friend who was a victim is still married to this lady, they now have a child and are very happy together. But before then, he quarreled and chastised her every other week for a year without stopping till he became feed up and tired of ranting about it by himself. Till date he has never brought it up. PS: if you chose to tell, be ready to say "i'm sorry for as long as it takes to forgive and forget". The trick to letting go is to look at your relationship as starting over again. You have to be at your best to woo him as though you are winning him all over again. All the best young lady. God be with you! 4 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Ericnrm(m): 3:17am On Jun 04, 2017 |
Why are people saying rubbish? If it was them they'd bottle up the affair and hide it for eternity. Don't cause any complications for yourself cause even if he takes you back the trust's already gone and you'd just end up being unhappy. 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by femi4: 3:18am On Jun 04, 2017 |
Ishilove:Why did you cheat too? |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by chibboy: 3:29am On Jun 04, 2017 |
darlenese:YOU ARE VERY COLD ... I AM SURE YOU TYPE THAT # DIFF MEN.. LOOK AT THE ADVISE YOU AEE GIVIN HER.. ANY WAY.CONTINU |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by HRHMcKaydaKing: 3:29am On Jun 04, 2017 |
i will advice not to confess to him... rather promise yourself not to give in to devil anymore. confession may ruin so many things including him and every other women he meets if he eventually send you packing. Find peace within yourself and move on with life. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Nyceguy92: 3:32am On Jun 04, 2017 |
Ishilove: I share your view. All the responses to the lady's concern fall into either the rational or spiritual. Deed has been done and she has shown remorse. Many women keep marital secrets that will wreck their marriages if they confess them. If confessing will definitely cause more problems, why is she considering it. Better let the sleeping dog alone. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by wilcox(m): 3:32am On Jun 04, 2017 |
istoctober:I want to believe you are not engaging in the act of cheating any more if yes give yourself some peace of mind and go through what I tag "total rehabilitation of mind" and mind who share your past misconduct with to avoid future attack on your character. As for his native doctor uncle, that should be the least of your worry you are not exposed to any evil mirror if not he should have seen you while you cheated on your husband. Your husband is a psychologist believe me and don't fall for him. Once again, God is the only way out of this mess. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by TwerkingSquirrel(m): 3:37am On Jun 04, 2017 |
ptiff!!!!!! Saw this very late!! Woman, why disturb nairaland with your problems? When you were getting the cassava from another man ..screaming and moaning with the panties your husband bought for...did you call on Nairaland? If I am your Husband and I have been faithful, God knows, I will kick your petty shitty asss outta my house and personally deal with that foolish thing you slept with! ----Adultery is one of the greatest and heart breaking sins of all time...that's why even Christ himself, gave room for divorce if the cause be adultery!! --- Stop disturbing NL with your self induced problems!!! |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by DoctorJones: 3:42am On Jun 04, 2017 |
istoctober: I am a husband and I think what you did was very wrong but I get a sense you have truly repented. I think you should first seek forgiveness from God, He will forgive you. You are also supposed to seek forgiveness from your husband but this could end your marriage. If you talk to God and find peace then I think you should forgive yourself and move past it. Start all over again with your husband on a clean slate, purge your mind of all thoughts of your shortcomings and be faithful to him. Love him and try to rekindle the romance. As for the native doctor crap, forget it. Those things don't work, besides if it did he would have found out by now after 3yrs and not just be suspicious. Lastly, if my wife cheated on me and has truly repented I would rather not know unless it is continuing. 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by joyandfaith: 3:45am On Jun 04, 2017 |
He will still know eventually. Since your pastor already knew, better confess to him now. It is wrong for pastor to ask you not to tell him. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by TwerkingSquirrel(m): 3:49am On Jun 04, 2017 |
I just hate cheaters!!!!!!!! Since my sincere loyalty to someone was ridiculously shattered by her..I just developed this paramount hate for cheaters!!!!! |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Nyceguy92: 3:54am On Jun 04, 2017 |
Keneking: Could you please stop, I mean really stop, this kind of response that has become your signature. Is this the much you can offer? Few days ago, I stumbled on similar response by you and when I checked you out, you responded to virtually every thread in same manner. You have never really given a response that can be considered as reasoned. Readers will bear me witness that I am not making up this story. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by ItalianWine(f): 3:56am On Jun 04, 2017 |
istoctober: God cares for a heart that's broken, and only him can understand you at this point, no human can. Pray to God, confess to only him, he surely answers and he would tell you what action to take. Remember, to reveal the depth of your broken soul to God, he would respond...he would heal you. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Nobody: 3:57am On Jun 04, 2017 |
istoctober:even though it's very bad action of yours. there's no sin that can't be forgiven. pls if you think it would lead to break up which may eventually take your life or you been promiscuous then leave it like that and get over it wen you have two evils go for the lesser one I stand to be corrected |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by sexy74(m): 4:00am On Jun 04, 2017 |
The earlier you bear the consequences of your crime, the earlier your soul and spirit is at rest. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by hopkinsnoni(m): 4:05am On Jun 04, 2017 |
That will be the end of your marriage, ask God fr forgiveness and never do it again, never confess to a man.... 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by Nyceguy92: 4:05am On Jun 04, 2017 |
emperordelis: There are very few mature responses to this matter and yours is one of them. It is very easy to say " tell him" without weighing the repercussions of doing so. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband And I Want To Confess To Him by jesuspikin(m): 4:08am On Jun 04, 2017 |
What one doesn't know doesn't hurt ,allow your husband his peaceful innocent life and ask for forgiveness from God with true repentance because that is where true forgiveness comes from. |
(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) ... (29) (Reply)
Banker Commits Suicide After Marriage He Took N3M Loan Crashed After 2 Months / FCMB MD, Adam Nuru In Sex Scandal - Business Live / Buried Baby Dug Out Alive In Lagos
Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 107 |