istoctober:


I don't want to go into details but l have no right to cheat on my spouse no matter what... l guess l was confused and l have learnt my lesson.

Doeshe suspect you're cheating? And are you troubled because his native doctor uncle may burst your bubble?

judgedredd22:




hmmmmm... i dey suspect you sha!


but i like this ya name o!

Suspect kwa

istoctober:


l have asked a pastor and he said l shouldn't confess but am worried cos he told me on Sunday that his uncle who is a native doctor will know if l am cheating on him.

Are u suddenly afraid coz of his uncle who is a native doctor wud be meeting with u?,nd wud know? den dats nt genuine repentance, except from ur heart u genuinely repent fast and pray to God, den go confess to ur husband, and it better its not coz his threatening u with his uncle I repeat, ask God to hide it from his uncle. God is greater Dan a native doctor God won't reveal it to ur in-law but immediately after dat go confess to ur husband. He wud get mad but he wud forgive u at last den go nd sin no more...

ShaqFu:
Which statistics? Can you show evidence and proof of that stats that her husband has cheated on her?

98% of Nigerian men cheat at some point during their marriages.
Fact.

Let me drop ds, even d Bible says confess your sins for u to be forgiven. C if u have children already better confess to him and if he sends u out stay the way u r with d children dnt remarry because d God attached u to one man only. Tell him better dan having urself to b hunted. Believe u me conscience kills faster Dan a straight bullet. My husband can attest to ds. If he lies to me he will be hunted till he confesses to me. So tell him and face d music. But pray 1st before telling him. Better telling him now dan to b hunted continually my sister.

Confessing to him will not bring good reconciliation. It is better you fast and pray, God will forgive you and when he does within you, you will know that God has forgiven you. If you confess to your husband, he will forgive you but will leave a heavy mark and will engineer the destruction of your home

MisterGrace:


May your wife cheat on you either mistakenly or otherwise and keep it from you. Amen

Yes she should not dare tell me cause i will send her packing if she did.

Will you tell your wife if you cheat on her.

Nonsense.

Hypocrites everywhere.

istoctober:


it was with a pastor in one of the pentecostal churches and he is still living in the sin of adultery. l still hate myself and curse that day for the act l committed.
Thx for your words, it means alot to me now.

even though I no get beta phon to quote u i wil stil stres my self to anyway. I suspectd pastor, a pastor once had sex wit my broda's girl, first of all avin sex wit a pastor is an evil act.
This is what u ar goin 2 do luk 4 a catholic priest tell him de details, how it hapend, how u ar feelin since then. His goin to invite ur husband b4 u and explain to him priests are gud on that and the are more respectd plz quite listenin to sorrowful songs and blus until u get ur self don't 4get to giv me feed back

gbosaa:


There is something you are not telling us. I think your story isn't complete.

For almost 3 years, you've been battling with the psychological effects of your action with your pastor. Within this time, you believe the state of your mind affected your pregnancy.

I think you need serious therapy. You need a psychologist or psychiatrist. You need to talk and have sessions with an expert not pastors.

There is something about you that giving your husband clues that all is not well. Why would he be threatening you with a babalawo? What have you done to arouse his suspicions? It's about 3 years since the event occurred!

I'm not going to ask you to simply 'get over it' because you obviously can't. You need an expert.
You are not worried about what happened but the chances of your husband finding out. Why do you think he'd find out? It's 2 years plus!

Why would he threaten you? How did the 'native doctor' stuff came in? You are scared about that...very very scared. I could come in with animal horns, cowries, sea shells and some other funny stuffs and you'll spin the beans...that includes everything thing you might have done before you married him.

I'm not here to judge you cos I'm worse than you. You are a good woman. I think you need to see an expert and if after that you still feel the need to tell him, by all means do so and damn the consequences. .

I was going to ask you to block this out of your mind and move on with your life but it's taking its toil on your mental state.

Has your moniker got any thing to do with the date of the 'rendezvous'??
Yes? I can imagine your pastor cumming and yelling on that Independence Day..."this is for Nigeria! then he'd erupt and draw a coat of arm around your lokoja.

Whatever happens I hope you find the solution to your problems. May God be with you.

My thought exactly! she's only afraid because of the native doctor threat. her story is incomplete.

Dear OP,
Please forgive yourself for your mistake.
You must understand that when confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us our sins. U need to forgive yourself too.

Do not confess to your husband, no good will come of it. Goodluck!

Ishilove:

She hasn't found peace because she hasn't forgiven herself. She sees herself as worthless and undeserving of mercy

Truth sometimes is subjective, like in this case.

this kind of utterance usually comes from the experience of 'dancing ontop a cassava' that does not belong to you so many times thus the hardening of the heart and a dead conscience that compels one to keep quiet and continue 'dancing' in different 'foreign arenas'


ishiii baby, just confess.... oya.... i say confess!!

This like your other posts sounds religiously correct but it is lies.

famosh:

She's not trying to prove anything; she only wants to make heaven. If she doesn't confess now that she still has the chance to, she will go to hell .

Which Hell is that? The one you are the gate keeper
or the one built by your general overseer for his followers.
Aside from confession to her husband, what other category of persons will be in this your Hell?
Weavon,
Lip gloss,
Ear ring,
A military woman for ever putting on trousers
Possession and consumption of Alcoholic beverages,
2 wives,
Not paying tithe,
Not being a member of your church,
Don't forget you will be the first to arrive in this Hell you created and have gone about pushing people to it.

realmindz:

Men, these are the kind of women you should avoid and never marry.

Women who put their affairs first to their pastors.

You are a cheap prey for these religious entrepreneurs.

Once you over come this fear, you will do it again and again and again. Pastors, bishops, evangelists, gospel singers will fvk you over and over again.

Your type can't fall to anyone but to the religious ones.

My advice to you is to do away with your gullibity and face family. stop looking at these men like semi-gods. Think for yourself.


I repeat, you will do it again once you overcome this guilt and fear!!!

KingEbukasBlog, felixomor, ishilove, come carry your sister

I love this comment even though I don't agree with some of your words. From her write up, she is truly remorseful and I doubt she would cheat again.

But then, many girls, ladies and women are so gullible and can only fall for religious people.

These set of women will never fall for a guy who is not shouting holy holy, fire fire, heba heba‎. Once a guy pretends to be committed in Church, always sleeping in Church pretending to be holy, he doesn't even need to have a dime, and these set of over-religious ladies will throw themselves at him for free because he is their brother!
‎
Even Apostle Paul said: don't be too good, don't be too bad, be in the middle....i don't like over religious ladies, they piss me off cos I know they mess up with their fellow over-religious brothers and god of men parading as men of God!‎

Guys don't marry a girl because she appears too religious and Churchy, you may regret!‎

Luvdk:
Suspect kwa

yes oscof! i dey suspect say you dey enjoy to chop cassava well well!

Truth is, you already asked God to forgive you and from your story, you feel remorse for what you did.
I'm married and I condemn cheating.
if my wife confess that she cheated, I may forgive but I'll never till I die, trust her when it come to men, nobody cheat with their eyes closed.
stop thinking that God has closed doors for you cos that's wrong about Him. believe in yourself that everything is going to be fine and it'll be. some of this things are psychological, what you believe is what it is. DO NOT CONFESS TO HIM. let it be a lesson.

realmindz:


I guess a pastor has fvkd u before...perhaps you are a target.

Wealkings everywhere. Gullible sheeples, worshipers of men

Na so 1 pastor go shag ur smelling as$hole punk like u. Maybe u have even bn raped by a homosexual pastor before na God com catch u.

I just remembered ur face now how u confessed on pulpit dat a pastor did it with u and u were flown abroad for stitches around ur as$holes, dt what u received was as big as cucumber idiet.

Justiyke4u:
Try and see a genuine prophet of God who is also a seer for counsel.

Stay away from all these seers and 'genuine' prophets/pastors.
They partner devil in ruining homes. You don't need such mediators to God. Jesus is more than enough for, says your Bible.

OLUWAcypris1:


Na so 1 pastor go shag ur smelling as$hole punk like u. Maybe u have even bn raped by a homosexual pastor before na God com catch u.

I just remembered ur face now how u confessed on pulpit dat a pastor did it with u and u were flown abroad for stitches around ur as$holes, dt what u received was as big as cucumber idiet.

Will you kipquayet

SSBN:
I have vowed never to get married to a Nigerian when in the course of a year u had up to 6 married women with kids fervently hit on me, going as far as feigning being sick at work and driving to my house. It took the grace of God to overcome the temptation. I have seen the wife of my friend (never told him) with guys in a hotel i lodged. My friends ex is married but still comes back for more. Something definately have changed in Nigerian society. Marraige is not the sacred institution it used to be. If you are a very sensitive guy, i will advice to steer clear of matrimony with contempirary Naija girls.

My brother, I just tire o! For me, as weird as e sound, my first criterion for woman, right from time up till now, na say she MUST be virgin before I even begin consider other better criteria.

istoctober:


it will shock him. Am even worried about him hating me including other women entirely..
Definitely, he will send me packing for that.

Stop having a negative mindset dat he wud send u packing fast and pray and confess to him he wud forgive you

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Let me help. I am a trained relationship counsellor (although I am out of practice for now), but I can still help.

Listen, you have no choice but to tell him. Telling him will be hard, that is fact, but it is something that must be done, at least, to give yourself peace of mind and remove the guilt.

While doing it, these are things you must consider:

1. Telling him everything and holding nothing back. Holding a little back may come to haunt you later.

2. Never get defensive when your husband gets angry. You surely cannot expect him not to be mad at you. So, don't get angry too or get defensive when he gets mad. Never make excuses like "It was because you hurt me" or "I was drunk" or "But it was the first and only time"

3. Do not defend the person you cheated on him with. Don't say stuffs like: "It wasn't really his fault" or "he was apologetic" or "he was really sorry".

Take my advice and let us see how it plays out. Another thing is whatever comes out will be your punishment. You can't expect to cheat without consequences.

pretend as if you are ill for like a week or there about, and whenever he ask you what is wrong, hold on for some second and say nothing. keep doing this until he get more worried and then call him at night, go down on your knees with tears in your eyes and confess to him. he will think that after all these years and you still come up to confess to him, he will pardon you and will equally know that u didn't do that because you wanted to do it. my own small idea though, thanks ma'am.

I know some tribes in the east that the man will die if they know that their wives have cheated on them once and cover it..maybe the poster is from such regions that is why she is so positive that her husband will send her packing..instead of dying in guilt u can ask your husband for a separation.. not divorce.. that u want to clear your head..maybe he will figure out himself that u did something. It's not a do or die affair..

judgedredd22:



yes oscof! i dey suspect say you dey enjoy to chop cassava well well!

B4 nko
Any woman that says she doesn't enjoy cassava is a bloody liar or perhaps sick

OmaniPadmeHum:
The moment a woman cheats on me, she should know that she is Only Using Extra Time in the relationship.


Even if I get to know when we are both 99 years old, I will send you packing. Regardless of whether we have 2000 new infants.

There will be no reason that will make me keep you.

For the sake of your peace of mind, tell him. But know that if I am him, you are leaving that same day.

Even Jesus that saves an adulterous woman from stoning will send such woman packing.

Thiais because of the fact that the only ground for divorce which Bible tolerates is adultery.

Young03:
Let by-gone be by-gone



let it be ur secret..... God will be d one to judge u

God bless you.

realmindz:

Will you kipquayet

realmindz:

Will you kipquayet

Confess ur sins dat is all, am outta here

LordOfNaira:


Let me help. I am a trained relationship counsellor (although I am out of practice for now), but I can still help.

Listen, you have no choice but to tell him. Telling him will be hard, that is fact, but it is something that must be done, at least, to give yourself peace of mind and remove the guilt.

While doing it, these are things you must consider:

1. Telling him everything and holding nothing back. Holding a little back may come to haunt you later.

2. Never get defensive when your husband gets angry. You surely cannot expect him not to be mad at you. So, don't get angry too or get defensive when he gets mad. Never make excuses like "It was because you hurt me" or "I was drunk" or "But it was the first and only time"

3. Do not defend the person you cheated on him with. Don't say stuffs like: "It wasn't really his fault" or "he was apologetic" or "he was really sorry".

Take my advice and let us see how it plays out. Another thing is whatever comes out will be your punishment. You can't expect to cheat without consequences.

God bless you

judgedredd22:




this kind of utterance usually comes from the experience of 'dancing ontop a cassava' that does not belong to you so many times thus the hardening of the heart and a dead conscience that compels one to keep quiet and continue 'dancing' in different 'foreign arenas'


ishiii baby, just confess.... oya.... i say confess!!

That one don over do no mind her she want to op to be like her.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

I can see that you have changed but you are still not at peace. You know that confessing to him is what will give you peace but the devil wants you to believe that you will lose your husband.

That may be true though but to be totally free, confess to him. Don't make it longer than now.

He may throw you out when you do confess but you will get peace.

And finally, pray to God ( when you are out) and your husband will call you back

Luvdk:
B4 nko
Any woman that says she doesn't enjoy cassava is a bloody liar or perhaps sick

i love this your answer....

so, you say you like cassava ehn kwa, ...i get big cassava!

My advice to you is to confess to your husband because if you don't, and he later finds out he will never know about this remorse you are showing now.

If you check responses to your post you will realise that in almost all the real life experiences that were shared in which the wife confessed the husband forgave, you know why? because the confession came from the wife.

Those saying you should not confess that it will backfire should be truthful to you and tell you the likely consequence of your husband finding out on his own.

Lastly the fact the the cheating was with a pastor also might also have an influence on the way your husband will judge the issue, any reasonable person knows many of the so called pastors prey on vulnerability of ladies to commit all sorts of atrocities.