Daninya11:
True friends are scarce. Its a laborious travail to see friends who stick closer to you than a brother.

I recount a scenario where a close friend of mine stole my phone.I never even have any reason to suspect him but with time ,I got to find out that he was the thief.He sold my phone at a phone market but unluckily for him a neighbour of mine saw him .

Have you ever been betrayed by a trusted friend ?,kindly share your experiences.

Back in sec school. Two of my closest friends stole my money. I put it in my class locker when only few ppl were in class. I went out n came back only to see my locker broken. These guys even had d mind to arrange my locker that was scattered before the robbery.

WORLDPEACE:

It's a whole blog page.




Phlegmatic temperament: Strengths and Weaknesses


Nature of Phlegmatic Temperament

Phlegmatic people are meek, submissive introverts who live to please others.

The soul or mind of the phlegmatic person is rarely touched by impressions. The reaction is feeble or entirely missing. Eventual impressions fade away very soon.

Phlegmatics are generally calm and unemotional, self-content and kind, but their shy personality can inhibit enthusiasm in others and make themselves lazy and resistant to change. They are very consistent, relaxed, rational, curious and observant, making them good administrators and diplomats. Like the sanguine personality, the phlegmatic has many friends, however the phlegmatic is more reliable and compassionate, typically making the phlegmatic a more dependable friend. Known as the fluid and flowing temperament.


Role in Society

In our distant past, the phlegmatic members of a pack might have been the obedient followers who'd get much of the actual work done at the command of their superiors. They may not stand out, but without them, nothing would work.

Main Features

Submissive

* Phlegmatics do not act as if they are better than others. They are eager to please, and quick to give in to others rather than asserting their own desires as if they're the most important.
* They take the path of least resistance whenever possible. They so desperately wish for peace, for everyone to get along, and to avoid conflict at all costs.
* Conflict terrifies them. They do not start it (except perhaps in extreme circumstances), or provoke it, and try to defuse it when it comes up. When forced into an argument, they get very upset and distressed, seeking escape rather than victory.
* If confronted, they are likely to admit that they are in the wrong in order to prevent hostilities.
* They don't believe that they know best.
* They have no desire to be a 'winner'; they only wish for peace.
* They are well-behaved; rebelling against established rules would feel deeply uncomfortable to them. They're the sort who'd say, worriedly, 'should we really be doing this?' or 'we might get in trouble!'.
* They really, really do not wish to be a bother to others, and always put others first. This is due to a deep-rooted unease about asserting themselves rather than a lack of confidence, or a conscious desire to be a 'nice person'.
* They are quick to apologize for any mistakes that they may have made, and will sacrifice their own happiness to ensure that others are happy.
* They are empathetic, and acutely aware of the feelings of those that they are interacting with, as they do not wish to hurt these feelings.
* They have tremendous difficulty saying no, and will go along with things that they dislike to make others happy.
* They are extremely trustworthy; if they make a promise, it's very likely that they will keep it.
* They're terrified of doing things wrong.
* They will blame themselves if mistakes are made, even if it was someone else's fault, just to make others feel better and more at ease.
* They try and word things in a way that is not offensive to others. The will be more supportive than critical.

Indecisive

* They'll defer to others to make choices, and will feel upset and pressured if they have to make a decision themselves; this comes from their inability to see themselves in a 'leader' role.
* They are natural followers, and work best when they are told what to do.
* Their language is generally full of uncertain phrases such as 'I think', 'maybe', 'perhaps', 'or something'. Compare "maybe you could do X, or something?" to "do X" or "you should do X".
* Rather than saying or doing the wrong thing, they'll say or do nothing at all.
* Obstacles that get in the way of their steady path will cause them to halt and fumble around, not sure what to do. They're more likely to travel around than through it; their path is easily changed by others.

Calm

* Phlegmatics are introverted, and enjoy time alone. However, they are much 'nicer' and more friendly and social than the melancholic, as they're unburdened by 'perfectionism' and as such do not judge others.
* They enjoy spending time with friends, and are very loyal to these friends, sticking with them through thick and thin, even through abuse. This is because they put others first, and will not leave another even if THEY want to because the other person may not want them to leave.
* They are almost immune to anger. They have extremely long fuses, and will only snap after a long period of prolonged and persistent abuse. Even then, they're more likely to retreat within themselves and cry than to try to harm another.
* They like calm and steady lives, free of surprises. They can be relatively confident in familiar situations - if not necessarily assertive - but panic when placed in new ones. They do not seek thrills, and enjoy predictable, quiet, ritualistic lifestyles.
* They are very quiet, and do not share their own inner thoughts readily, as they fear judgement and don't wish to bother others by waffling on about themselves.
* They are however excellent and attentive listeners, who will quietly and politely take in and absorb the conversations of their friends. They will always pay attention, and will offer supportive feedback rather than criticism or advice. They'd never say things like 'bored now', as if it's the duty of others to entertain them.
* Since they hate to offend or hurt others, they generally don't ever resort to aggressive insults or attacks. Belittling or hurting another makes them feel bad, not 'powerful and in control' or amused, so they'll worry about having done this accidentally.
* They could be described as 'nice guys/girls' or, more horribly, 'doormats' by those with different temperaments.
* They barely express emotion at all. While the sanguine might whoop and cheer and jump for joy at the slightest provocation, phlegmatics are unlikely to express more than a smile or a frown. Their emotions happen mainly internally.
* They lack 'passion', as their emotions are mostly internal. They often rely on others ordering them to do things to get motivation.




Phlegmatic Temperament Strengths


* The phlegmatic works slowly, but perseveringly, if his work does not require much thinking.
* Phlegmatics work well under pressure, long hours, with steady and reliable performance.
* He is not easily exasperated either by offenses, or by failures or sufferings. He remains composed, thoughtful, deliberate, and has a cold, sober, and practical judgment.
* He has no intense passions and does not demand much of life.
* Enjoy good jokes and knows how to tell them.

Phlegmatic Temperament Weaknesses

* He is very much inclined to ease, to eating and drinking; is lazy and neglects his duties.
* He has no ambition. Lofty ideals and goals hold very little appeal to this individual. Even in his faith and piety, he holds no aspirations. Penance and self-sacrifice are avoided.
* Personality is teasing, stubborn, and indecisive.
* Phlegmatic doesn't show interest in events or happenings around him. This can include other people, too, which can lead to egoism.
* Phlegmatic is resistant to change. His tendency to apathy makes change very difficult. He can lack the energy necessary to take advantage of his abilities.

Development through the Lifetime

* Babies
Positives: easy-going, undemanding, happy, and adjustable.
Negatives: slow, shy and withdrawn, indifferent, unresponsive.

* Children
Positives: watches others, easily amused, little trouble, dependable, lovable, agreeable, and relaxed.
Negatives: selfish, indecisive, avoids work, fearful, quietly stubborn, lazy and sleepy, retreats to TV.

* Teens
Positives: pleasing personality, witty humor, good listener, mediates problems, hides motions, leads when pushed, casual attitude.
Negatives: indecisive, unenthusiastic, too compromising, unmotivated, sarcastic, uninvolved, procrastinates.

* Adults
Emotional Needs: peace and quiet, feeling of worth, lack of stress, respect for who he/she is.
Causes of Depression: life is in chaos, should confront issues, pressure to produce.
Stress Relief: tune out on life, turn on the television, eat and sleep.
Energy Level: lowest energy level, needs much rest, drained by people.

Hahahaha that was long. If most of this describes you then we should get married immediately

Lionessza:

Hahahaha that was long. If most of this describes you then we should get married immediately

Right? But you have to woo me first. I am very hard to get

WORLDPEACE:

Right? But you have to woo me first. I am very hard to get

Lol, is that you on the pic? . Woowing handsome men is my game

Lionessza:








Lol, is that you on the pic? . Woowing handsome men is my game

Oh my! I'm in trouble!
Hope you didn't come with tranquilizers?
That's one of my good pics.

Currently in such poo now.
Had this nigga i consider family, we literally does stuffs together, some one i actually have known over 12yrs, had experienced series of betrayals from him but none hit me this deep, dude was sacked from work and needed a loan, pleaded i become one of his guarantors after much pleads i concured, first i was asked to present my statement of acct which i gave to him, they required i came nd sign some documents to cut the long story short, the loan wasn't successful as the firm was trying to increase the monthly payback percentage.
Fast forward i got a call from a bank on how a certain transaction was made, actually some one used my bank statements to present as the next of kind to a certain client, the money was paid and the woman in question signed the documents that aided the payment the issue now is am not even facing paying back these sum but am being asked to provide those i collaborated with to defraud the woman, all my explanations seems abortive and the guy is the only one i gave my statement too. If not for the intervention of some notable figures that stood in for me and pleaded for the case to be dropped i wonder how my live would have been, the dude is on the run, and my parents have told me not to arrest his parents if not.
The money in question will take me a year plus to offset with my current earnings..
Bad Friends are simply the greatest evil that surrounds a man!

WORLDPEACE:

Oh my! I'm in trouble!
Hope you didn't come with tranquilizers?
That's one of my good pics.

Hahahaha i big trouble. Oh nice one. I am a tranquilizer self lol

Dimples129:


It's only nigerian who call love in the first few months

I'm joking we were dating, we weren't sleeping together. I was still very young and a virgin at the time. He couldn't wait and my friend needed her M.O.T so that happened. I was most hurt about my bed and my home more than them doing it. I got her back though nearly a decade later

I took the love of her life just for the fun of it and dropped him after he dumped her. Karma is a bitchè, twice as hard when it comes back around

Never told her and she still doesn't know why he left her. Until today she talks about him and how he was the one! She's been married for nearly a decade now. And she still remembers him.

.

Reading all dese stories makes me laugh

just expect the worst frm pple, no one is a friend.

"Man is the judge of his own interest", wit dis mentality no one can hurt u.

Lionessza:








Hahahaha i big trouble. Oh nice one. I am a tranquilizer self lol

You a lioness want me asleep? Why don't I feel safe? What are you planning to do to me?

ZarZar:


Wow, you sound very interesting & open minded. Thank you. You're on point about most of what said, except for the outgoing part. I'm actually a home person. I do have an "outgoing" personality though, in the sense that, I can have something to talk about with almost anyone, from old people, children, right to the homeless man on the streets. There's no single room or group of people I can't work I guess you can say I'm personable. Enough about that.

My condolences to your loss. I never quite know how to approach the xenophobia issue for the simple fact that, if I said "I'm sorry", I'd be lying through my teeth. Because to apologize, you have to be guilty of something otherwise, you're just saying those words for the sake of saying them. And I don't believe in empty words, so most of the time, I detach whenever this issue comes up. I still understand the gravity of it though, I just refuse to personalise it or take personal responsibility.

Anyway, where in Nigeria are you from?

You are a typical sanguine perhaps with a shade of melancholic or choleric - I don't exactly know which. But since you are stubborn and prone to anger as I know you are, then choleric it is.(stubborn in the sense of strong, determined, opinionated, unyielding)

You didn't answer the question on the voice thing. I am really curious about it because I hear that strain in their voices and I want to know where it comes from.

I am from the middle belt of Nigeria(North Central in Nigerian geopolitical parlance) I read a thread where you and your fellow South Africans were involved in some sort of war with my compatriots and I could see that you guys are picking up on our quaint and beautiful pidgin Nigerianisms like biko, mumu, abi, ode, shey, shebi, wahala etc (I love our pidgin sooo much it's so alive and sweet in the way it rolls off our tongue with joyful nonchalance) Do you guys have your own equivalent of pidgin as in patois spoken throughout SA?
You are Xhosa and you made me think Xhosa women and Zulu men don't mix well maritally. Water and oil kind of. Shey Winnie Mandela is Xhosa? She's strong you know and wild(*winks)
What are the other ethnic groups in SA. I mean indigenous excluding the Boers and Indians.

I like this names Kwazulu Natal, Wittwatersrand and Soweto. Does Soweto mean SOuth WEst TOwn? So I heard.

About the loss, condolence accepted. Your forthrightness is appreciated too. No need mouthing empty and perhaps false, insincere niceties.

Cheers.

WORLDPEACE:

You a lioness want me asleep? Why don't I feel safe? What are you planning to do to me?

Hahahaha nope , I love my prey kicking and screaming so no sleeping for you. I will do to you things that will make you beg the sun not to rise .

I believe this thread was created for me. I just expect the worst frm people because no one is really a friend

I've had so many betrayal from those I trusted but I don't even know which one to share

Lionessza:

Hahahaha nope , I love my prey kicking and screaming so no sleeping for you. I will do to you things that will make you beg the sun not to rise .

But I love the sun - I'm west African, I don't think I could ever do without this harsh sun on my dark skin. What could be better than seeing the sun rise?

Taniaa:
Had plans with this "friend" to start selling makeup products in school.
Struggled and gave her 36K
few days later she told me the money was stolen,
was so down cause i remembered the stress of getting the money,
at the same time i consoled her.
Later found out from our mutual friend that the money wasn't stolen and infact she bought the products and was selling to students already,,
To say i was shocked is an understatement.
I was flabbergastedgasted.
Confronted her and she blatant denied,
she later confessed after series of persuation and promised to return the money,but she never did.

I believe this is an eye opener for you to know how notorious people can be

vargasvictory:
When you truss, be ready for disappointments


For me I don't truss no Mofo, I do things my way


People are cruel

Yeah, learnt to never invest enough of my dreams and expectations in anyone enough for them to visibly affect my desired outcomes anyway!

Been there, did that sh!t, lost my damn mind and woke the furk-up to smell the bacon: No one really gives a sh!t!

catch-me-if-U-can, it's dat simple!

WORLDPEACE:

But I love the sun - I'm west African, I don't think I could ever do without this harsh sun on my dark skin. What could be better than seeing the sun rise?

Hahahaha you will see when I arrive in Abuja ......for now

Lionessza:









Hahahaha you will see when I arrive in Abuja ......for now

Hahahhaha oh my butt!!!..... sorry I meant oh my gosh!!! I don't swing that way. I'm totally traumatised

yes

vargasvictory:
When you truss, be ready for disappointments


For me I don't truss no Mofo, I do things my way


People are cruel

Yeah, learnt to never invest enough of my dreams and expectations in anyone enough for them to visibly affect my desired outcomes anyway!

Been there, did that sh!t, lost my damn mind and woke dafurk' up to smell the bacon: No one really gives a sh!t! Frenemies will do you in faster than you can spell your name. Most people are oddly wired to "Love Things" while "Using People" instead of "Using things for the benefit of people" and u WILL be a victim of people you once trusted if you're abreast of that reality.

So, best bet, play ur nice guy routine but wear ur heart under a steel-armor. Basically, it's 'catch-me-if-U-can' for me. It's dat simple!

Mujtahida:

You are a typical sanguine perhaps with a shade of melancholic or choleric - I don't exactly know which. But since you are stubborn and prone to anger as I know you are, then choleric it is.(stubborn in the sense of strong, determined, opinionate, unyielding)

You didn't answer the question on the voice thing. I am really curious about it because I hear that strain in their voices and I want to know where it comes from.

I am from the middle belt of Nigeria(North Central in Nigerian geopolitical parlance) I read a thread where you and your fellow South Africans were involved in some sort of war with my compatriots and I could see that you guys are picking up on our quaint and beautiful pidgin Nigerianisms like biko, mumu, abi, ode, shey, shebi, wahala etc (I love our pidgin sooo much it's so alive and sweet in the way it rolls off our tongue with joyful nonchalance) Do you guys have your own equivalent of pidgin as in patois spoken throughout SA?
You are Xhosa and you made me think Xhosa women and Zulu men don't mix well maritally. Water and oil kind of. Shey Winnie Mandela is Xhosa? She's strong you know and wild(*winks)
What are the other ethnic groups in SA. I mean indigenous excluding the Boers and Indians.

I like this names Kwazulu Natal, Wittwatersrand and Soweto. Does Soweto mean SOuth WEst TOwn? So I heard.

About the loss, condolence accepted. Your forthrightness is appreciated too. No need mouthing empty and perhaps false, insincere niceties.

Cheers.

You said so much, I don't even know where to begin.

The voice thing I didn't answer because 1)I don't know what you're referring to & 2)I don't believe it's related to anything other than perhaps the style of music. Example, people into traditional music tend to sound a certain way etc. Maybe it's voice training or whatever, IDK.

No, we don't have Pidgin. There're 12 ethnic groups in total. Starting from the top it's Zulu, Xhosa, Tswana, Ndebele, Swazi, Sotho, Pedi, Venda, Shangaan, Indians, Coloureds & Afrikaners.

Soweto= South Western Township.

So, what language do you speak?

ZarZar:


You said so much, I don't even know where to begin.

The voice thing I didn't answer because 1)I don't know what you're referring to & 2)I don't believe it's related to anything other than perhaps the style of music. Example, people into traditional music tend to sound a certain way etc. Maybe it's voice training or whatever, IDK.

No, we don't have Pidgin. There're 12 ethnic groups in total. Starting from the top it's Zulu, Xhosa, Tswana, Ndebele, Swazi, Sotho, Pedi, Venda, Shangaan, Indians, Coloureds & Afrikaners.

Soweto= South Western Township.

So, what language do you speak?

Sorry for the barrage of questions. I speak Tiv, Igala and a smattering of Yoruba. I take interest in learning about other people's culture. Nigeria is more ethnically diverse than SA with some 250 or so ethnic groups. Do you speak Swahili?

So South West Town it is then. Thanks for the tidbits. Cheers

WORLDPEACE:


Hahahhaha oh my butt!!!..... sorry I meant oh my gosh!!! I don't swing that way. I'm totally traumatised

Hahahaha

Mujtahida:

Sorry for the barrage of questions. I speak Tiv, Igala and a smattering of Yoruba. I take interest in learning about other people's culture. Nigeria is more ethnically diverse than SA with some 250 or so ethnic groups. Do you speak Swahili?

So South West Town it is then. Thanks for the tidbits. Cheers

Wow, 250 is a lot! So which languages are taught in schools if any? Here, a minimum of 2 (sometimes 3) languages is compulsory, to go with other curriculum subjects.

No, I can't speak Swahili lol. Where would I learn it from? I'll need to secure a Kenyan or Tanzanian BF to give me lessons

ZarZar:



Wow, 250 is a lot! So which languages are taught in schools if any? Here, a minimum of 2 (sometimes 3) languages is compulsory, to go with other curriculum subjects.

No, I can't speak Swahili lol. Where would I learn it from? I'll need to secure a Kenyan or Tanzanian BF to give me lessons

You can see that Nigeria is a potpourri, a mosaic of nations. Not so easy to manage. But we are an interesting sociological phenomenon, aren't we?
When I was in Primary school, Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo were taught but it was some bother to me as was French. I never really liked any(as a school subject) I presume that there are still being taught but we are not serious in educating ourselves about the Ethnic configuration in our country. Only recently - due to current events - did I learn that history is no more taught in our schools. Growing up we learnt some history in Social Studies and Civics
I guess you don't mind marrying outside SA as I see you'd date outside SA. I was under the impression that swahili is spoken throughout Southern and Eastern Africa though including SA just like Hausa is spoken all over West Africa from Nigeria all the way through Mali to Senegal and Yoruba in Nigeria, Togo Benin.
Ever been here as in Nigeria?

Since you don't like football do wish us luck against Bafana Bafana come Saturday. Nig 5-SA 0(At least we should cancel out south and leave Africa for you guys)

Lionessza:










Hahahaha

When will you come to Abuja. It's not a bad city.

WORLDPEACE:

When will you come to Abuja. It's not a bad city.

I've seen some pics of it in one of the threads here, yes not bad. Lol , I don't know nothing about the city screams visit me . What are the best tourism sites in the country or the best cities for one to visit as a tourist?. Have you visited us before?

maryjabeez:
Reading all dese stories makes me laugh

just expect the worst frm pple, no one is a friend.

"Man is the judge of his own interest", wit dis mentality no one can hurt u.

That's a depressing attitude to life.

Mujtahida:

When I was in Primary school, Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo were taught but it was some bother to me as was French. I never really liked any(as a school subject) I presume that there are still being taught but we are not serious in educating ourselves about the Ethnic configuration in our country. Only recently - due to current events - did I learn that history is no more taught in our schools. Growing up we learnt some history in Social Studies and Civics
I guess you don't mind marrying outside SA as I see you'd date outside SA. I was under the impression that swahili is spoken throughout Southern and Eastern Africa though including SA just like Hausa is spoken all over West Africa from Nigeria all the way through Mali to Senegal and Yoruba in Nigeria, Togo Benin.
Ever been here as in Nigeria?

Since you don't like football do wish us luck against Bafana Bafana come Saturday. Nig 5-SA 0(At least we should cancel out south and leave Africa for you guys)

Oh OK, I understand. Interesting.

I'm not really against anything as I get older. I guess it's true what they that, with age comes wisdom. During my teens & early 20s, I had so much rules for myself but I've broken every single one of them along the way. So currently, I take life as it comes. I can't say for certain that I won't marry or date from ABCD place because I don't know what's in store for me in the future. I could meet an amazing person tomorrow, hence I'm no longer as strict with myself as I was before. Just last week I was having a discussion with Lionessza about relationships & I said a few things I don't really mean about Zulu & Xhosa guys I still hold my stance to an extent but I know if I met a guy from the two tribes, who isn't a typical representative, I'd give him a chance. In short, I'm open to try anything at least once. Hope that answers your question.

Lol, good luck against Bafana. Out of curiosity, I think I'll watch this one because the beef is a prime cut

ZarZar:


Oh OK, I understand. Interesting.

I'm not really against anything as I get older. I guess it's true what they that, with age comes wisdom. During my teens & early 20s, I had so much rules for myself but I've broken every single one of them along the way. So currently, I take life as it comes. I can't say for certain that I won't marry or date from ABCD place because I don't know what's in store for me in the future. I could meet an amazing person tomorrow, hence I'm no longer as strict as I was before. Just last week I was having a discussion with Lionessza about relationships & I said a few things I don't really mean about Zulu & Xhosa guys I still hold my stance to an extent but I know if I met a guy from the two tribes, who isn't a typical representative, I'd give him a chance. In short, I'm open to try anything at least once. Hope that answers your question.

Lol, good luck against Bafana. Out of curiosity, I think I'll watch this one because the beef is a prime cut

Do watch because we will.be kicking some naija ass 2-0

lol, yeah. I liked a girl back then in school, we did not date but we were cool like that. I did not know my guy liked her too. One fine evening i was with another girl, her friend and her friend's boyfriend in one corner at school (you know all those cool spots where students like to hang out in the evening my friend called me up to know where i was, i told innocently told him who i was with and where i was (I no get cockroach for my cupboard na). By the time he got there, the girl's friend and her boyfriend had left so it was just me and the girl i went with. Can you believe my nigga went to report to the girl i liked that he saw me at a corner with another babe, that i am a pretender and bloody liar (His words).
They ended up doing stuffs and i just swerved, the girl later came back to me to tell me all that he said and begged that she really like me, but oh boy, shit had hit the fan. I just kept her at arms length, before them go knife me because of woman.

Lionessza:











I've seen some pics of it in one of the threads here, yes not bad. Lol , I don't know nothing about the city screams visit me . What are the best tourism sites in the country or the best cities for one to visit as a tourist?. Have you visited us before?

It really depends on what you're into. Are you a culture and history person or are you into leisure?