Emdeejay:
When it comes to family values, most of the people I know, including myself, are raised in the wrong way. The only role of the man is to provide money, even if it's through stealing. The role of the woman is to do everything else: raise the kids, satisfy her husband, have a career, nurture the "home". Until our fathers and mothers start raising our men to have a different mindset, this kind of violence will continue. Obviously, this man feels entitled to the woman's body because what could be more important in her life than his sexual desire? Sex in a relationship is important but I'm positive this man doesn't have sex with her every time she wants to. He could be tired, not in the mood or has something "better" to tend to.
Some saying our mothers endured more, that is why our mothers died a slow painful death: physically, emotionally and mentally. Get out while you still can. It is better to lose a husband than your life.

I'm more interested in the bold part. I look at families and see something different from what you're asserting here. Even if that's the case you think to cope with all the challenges everywhere in the quest for this money to feed 4 to 6 mouths is a joke? The pressure he has to overcome, the wish to see his family, especially wife and kids, get the things he couldn't enjoy as a kid, is what you refer to as "only" right? Isokay

Benita27:
Your wahala. I can't be bothering myself with marriage outcomes when I'm still single.

But babe the truth is most people that turn out to be very violent actually started out as good people. If a man loves u , never use it as a weapon against him, do u know some women sex starve their husband for years? Like less than 5 times in a year? Do u know how that feels? To realize that the person u care about doesn't give two hoots about ur feelings? I for one will do everything I've pasted earlier.. Even God will throw billions in hell because humans in apostle Paul's words "insulted the spirit of grace, by making the sacrifice of Jesus Christ null and void. Read Hebrews 12 and Isaiah 66 and Genesis 5&6 ( where God regretted making man for understanding). I can bet that woman is having an affair with someone else outsyd...u women give young men the impression that u hate and despise us, hence the growing army of misogynists....never make a man who truly loves u hate you...the man is just silly to beat the woman up, if it were me, I'll just go damage or reprogram the ECU(electronic control unit) of her car and watch her car misbehave or something totally mischevious, or let her keep her body and marry outsyd and just elope one day( if no kids)....bottom line is I'll hurt her as she hurt me..
but I'll still consider going out with u...if u say no...I wnt ask a second time till the end of the world.

Pls expatriate more on what u mean by "diplomacy " i mean explain how they ahld hav applied to their marriage pls.
Be practical not use language which doesn't convey what is practicable.

PaperLace:

Nobody should stay in an abusive home, male or female!!!!!! When they die while trying to salvage the marriage, you people will change mouth and type RIP.

With your so called experience, you should know violence is never the solution. Diplomacy is very important in marriage.


The kind of analogy you people come up with though...sickening.

eph12:

Are you married?

For the umpteenth time, your assertion I put in bold is wrong. It is not and was never about the money for the guys. It is the woman that is making it about the money.

Of course, it isn't about the money for the guy because marriage
is usually free but this was your statement:

You shouldn't blame an African man for feeling entitled after all he is made to pass through to get his wife

There is no greater misogynist than a man who thinks he deserve respect because
he has a pen.is, even cave men will shudder at such thought because they understand
that being in charge is not free and depend largely on their ability to provide.

ivolt:


Of course, it isn't about the money for the guy because marriage
is usually free but this was your statement:



There is no greater misogynist than a man who thinks he deserve respect because
he has a pen.is, even cave men will shudder at such thought because they understand
that being in charge is not free and depend largely on their ability to provide.

Are you married? If you are, make sure you question your husband's every decision and actions because you can't stand him being the leader of the union( i know you still going to come for this statement). Make sure you are the one to take every major decision. And if you are not married, store this advice somewhere, it will come in handy immediately you step into his house. May the gods be with you.

ekems2017:
You are not married so you don't know anything about married life. I advice you not to comment on what you don't know. For my girls if you are them you can't even vomit all the trash you wrote here. Being a woman and the equality we are preaching does not mean you must behave like a fool. My girls can never be a slave or have low self esteem.
Go check your self sir/aunty.

As I said your girls will end up having a low self-esteem unless they
don't live with you.

Imagine a mother telling her daughters that they deserve to be brutalised
and injured if they dare refuse their husband's sexual advance what
kind of lesson do you think they will get from such advice ?

If you are one of the women that supposedly preaches "equality" and you made that kind
of comment against another woman then the meaning of equality must be changed.

ekems2017:
Madam sorry for the punching. But I believe you know that your hubby loves sex why not give him a quickie or talk to him the way he will understand. There are some men who do not joke with sex. You should know your hubby by now.
Although what he did was wrong he is suppose to also respect your feelings. Now you can't attend the conference again and he still took it by force.
Sorry dear next time Even though you are not in the mood just open your leg for him to do whatever he wants to do so that you can go your way and peace will reign.
Don't give him room to have a side chick cos he will put the blame on you.
Once again sorry.

Are you male or female ?
This is an unbelievable wickedness coming from a woman.

discman2k2:
Pls expatriate more on what u mean by "diplomacy " i mean explain how they ahld hav applied to their marriage pls.
Be practical not use language which doesn't convey what is practicable.

Diplomacy: tact : ability to skillfully deal with people _ common sense should let anyone know it doesn't involve violence. What is difficult (or impracticable) in understanding how couples can tactfully handle marital issues?

kingOG:
instead to take d D and go to conference feeling motivated...you refuse now look what you made me do

d Mata weak me die

wtfcoded:

Ordinary sex o

i tire oo

eph12:

Are you married? If you are, make sure you question your husband's every decision and actions because you can't stand him being the leader of the union( i know you still going to come for this statement). Make sure you are the one to take every major decision. And if you are not married, store this advice somewhere, it will come in handy immediately you step into his house. May the gods be with you.

Sorry, I am not a woman, I am just a person who believes in fair dealing.
I see no problem with a man running his house as he likes, he should do
and undo as it pleases him.
What I detest are whiners crying fowl when the table is turned, I consider
such men as sissies who don't deserve the "husband" title.

Go back and read my comment. I never supported the man and will never support any man raising his hands on a woman no matter what. I am an advocate against wife battery.
Why are you still talking about my children? Keep them out of this and face me. If I talk about your children, how will you feel? Pls i beg you in the name of God don't mention my children again cos you dont know them and will never meet them.
Thks so much. Am done replying to your comment no matter what you write again.

Xisnin:


As I said your girls will end up having a low self-esteem unless they
don't live with you.

Imagine a mother telling her daughters that they deserve to be brutalised
and injured if they dare refuse their husband's sexual advance what
kind of lesson do you think they will get from such advice ?

If you are one of the women that supposedly preaches "equality" and you made that kind
of comment against another woman then the meaning of equality must be changed.

ivolt:


Sorry, I am not a woman, I am just a person who believes in fair dealing.
I see no problem with a man running his house as he likes, he should do
and undo as it pleases him.
What I detest are whiners crying fowl when the table is turned, I consider
such men as sissies who don't deserve the "husband" title.

Interesting! I only hope you get a wife that shares same sentiment and lurking around for misfortune to befall you so she can take over the home. In fact she shouldn't be made to wait for that. With your enlightenment, you should be able to tell her from day 1 that her word is final and there will be no objections.

eph12:

I'm more interested in the bold part. I look at families and see something different from what you're asserting here. Even if that's the case you think to cope with all the challenges everywhere in the quest for this money to feed 4 to 6 mouths is a joke? The pressure he has to overcome, the wish to see his family, especially wife and kids, get the things he couldn't enjoy as a kid, is what you refer to as "only" right? Isokay

I love how you chose a word in my comment to negate the fact that most Nigerians I know were raised in a problematic manner. Yes, I said ONLY. I was referring to the way men are raised. The men I know were raised in a way that all you have to do it in a marriage is provide for your family. You don't have to see your wife as a companion with emotions, don't have to be involved with child rearing or nurturing your house to become a home. I've heard comments to women in response to their husbands cheating: as long as he is taking care of you and the children. Because that is the only responsibility that is expected of him. Every other thing is a bonus. Did I ever state that providing for your family is easy? Currently, women have to work to supplement income in the house so the family can be comfortable. So I'm sure the woman will understand that working is not child's play. But do not be confused, bringing home money is NOT the only thing a husband has to provide for the family.

eph12:

Interesting! I only hope you get a wife that shares same sentiment and lurking around for misfortune to befall you so she can take over the home. In fact she shouldn't be made to wait for that. With your enlightenment, you should be able to tell her from day 1 that her word is final and there will be no objections.

Hating slavery doesn't mean someone want to be a slave,
it is just a general aversion to inhuman treatment regardless
of the victim's identity.

menxer:
I don't know how to describe a man who maltreats a woman because of sex, when "sex is the cheapest thing money can buy."

As if the woman wouldn't cry to high heavens if the man does anything as close to what you're implying.

ivolt:


Hating slavery doesn't mean someone wants to be a slave,
it is just a general aversion to inhuman treatment regardless
of the victim's identity.

This is the most beautiful statement I have read all year. You should put your name on it. Thank you for such brilliance.

ekems2017:
Go back and read my comment. I never supported the man and will never support any man raising his hands on a woman no matter what. I am an advocate against wife battery.
Why are you still talking about my children? Keep them out of this and face me. If I talk about your children, how will you feel? Pls i beg you in the name of God don't mention my children again cos you dont know them and will never meet them.
Thks so much. Am done replying to your comment no matter what you write again.

I am happy you finally retracted your poisonous and insensitive comment.
Learn to empathise with victims or let them be, any other
position which excuses the oppressor is nothing but evil.

Emdeejay:


I love how you chose a word in my comment to negate the fact that most Nigerians I know were raised in a problematic manner. Yes, I said ONLY. I was referring to the way men are raised. The men I know were raised in a way that all you have to do it in a marriage is provide for your family. You don't have to see your wife as a companion with emotions, don't have to be involved with child rearing or nurturing your house to become a home. I've heard comments to women in response to their husbands cheating: as long as he is taking care of you and the children. Because that is the only responsibility that is expected of him. Every other thing is a bonus. Did I ever state that providing for your family is easy? Currently, women have to work to supplement income in the house so the family can be comfortable. So I'm sure the woman will understand that working is not child's play. But do not be confused, bringing home money is NOT the only thing a husband has to provide for the family.

If​ this is how you have chosen to define an average Nigerian home, then you're not being truthful with yourself. This is my problem with social media. Creating problems that are not there or were there but have been taken care of. I see men wanting to be around their kids and play with them whenever the chance arises but no he is not involved in raising the child. Na so men don't love their wives or care about their emotions, they just want an house help. Abeggi

SnowJay92:


As if the woman wouldn't cry to high heavens if the man does anything as close to what you're implying.

But does that warrants a beating? What happens to words? I'll tell you a secret. Women respond to words or the lack thereof (silent treatment) than the fist.

Emdeejay:


But does that warrants a beating? What happens to words? I'll tell you a secret. Women respond to words or the lack thereof (silent treatment) than the fist.

The Man is no better than other domestic animal bro, even dogs pamper their female mates into submission when in heat, so the man's action is not justifiable at all, I didn't want to comment on that. Just reacting to that guy's comment.

eph12:

If this is how you have chosen to define an average Nigerian home, then you're not being truthful with yourself. This is my problem with social media. Creating problems that are not there or were there but have been taken care of. I see men wanting to be around their kids and play with them whenever the chance arises but no he is not involved in raising the child. Na so men don't love their wives or care about their emotions, they just want an house help. Abeggi

Again, you see what you want to see so you can make a comeback. Did I ever generalize? If you read ALL my comments, I said this is from things I've seen. I have not met a quarter of the Nigerian population so how can I define the average home? From when I was young, I stated what I have witnessed. But if it's changed now then that's beautiful. But obviously, this man in the post did not change. My question to you would be: do you agree with hitting your wife because she did not have sex with you?

ivolt:


Hating slavery doesn't mean someone want to be a slave,
it is just a general aversion to inhuman treatment regardless
of the victim's identity.

I thought I have agreed with you? Do what ever you like na. If you think wives I see everyday having the full support of their husbands are slaves then it's OK. And no they do have the support of their husbands because they are richer but because the know how to relate with their husbands. They know how to handle his emotions and massage his ego. You think wives don't have issues husbands deal with too? Smh

SnowJay92:


The Man is no better than other domestic animal bro, even dogs pamper their female mates into submission when in heat, so the man's action is not justifiable at all, I didn't want to comment on that. Just reacting to that guy's comment.

I see your point. thanks for clarifying

eph12:

I thought I have agreed with you? Do what ever you like na. If you think wives I see everyday having the full support of their husbands are slaves then it's OK. And no they do have the support of their husbands because they are richer but because the know how to relate with their husbands. They know how to handle his emotions and massage his ego. You think wives don't have issues husbands deal with too? Smh

If the bold is correct , then the husbands of such women deserve award
and should their financial statuses change, the husbands has nothing to
fear as the same respectful and supportive environment they have created
will be maintained.

The law of reciprocity is on their side.

Benita27:
Your partner should also understand and study you well.
1. She wasn't in the mood for sex.
2. What kind of a jobless man demands for sex when his wife has a conference to attend?, can't it wait till she's back?.
3. What he did is marital rape 'cause she didn't consent while he did it at the time he was beating her like the beast he's.

m not surprised this is coming from u,is ur type that 'll so sex starve her husband until the poor man 'll start sleeping with anything in skirt so far his urge 'll be satisfied.

Emdeejay:


Again, you see what you want to see so you can make a comeback. Did I ever generalize? If you read ALL my comments, I said this is from things I've seen. I have not met a quarter of the Nigerian population so how can I define the average home? From when I was young, I stated what I have witnessed. But if it's changed now then that's beautiful. But obviously, this man in the post did not change. My question to you would be: do you agree with hitting your wife because she did not have sex with you?

How can I agree with him? I DON'T! But I hate it when I hear a one sided story. In fact I haven't said anything about this thread, my previous discussion with ivolt brought me here. I am not one to listen to one side of an argument and pass judgement when I know there are always 3 sides to a story.

When I was in secondary school, I stayed with a family. The man was a full time pastor and very calm and gentle. The woman is one that can raise hell for insignificant things. Whenever she starts, the husband just either goes out or goes to sleep. When she is not nagging she's a very lovely wife and mother. Now this is a man that understands his wife and knows it's just one of her bad sides he shouldn't dwell on but manage with care after all there are many other good sides he can dwell on. I'm sure it's same for the woman too. This is what couples now are finding hard to understand or accept. Focusing on the bad sides and in the process forgetting how wonderful he or she was. Then she gets some advice from some wicked people not to accept some things that are actually not foolish or not relevant. This is unfortunately where we are right now.

ivolt:

If the bold is correct , then the husbands of such women deserve award and should their financial statuses change, the husbands has nothing to fear as the same respectful and supportive environment they have created will be maintained.
The law of reciprocity is on their side.

And I believe you saw the other part too?

Emdeejay:


Again, you see what you want to see so you can make a comeback. Did I ever generalize? If you read ALL my comments, I said this is from things I've seen. I have not met a quarter of the Nigerian population so how can I define the average home? From when I was young, I stated what I have witnessed. But if it's changed now then that's beautiful. But obviously, this man in the post did not change. My question to you would be: do you agree with hitting your wife because she did not have sex with you?

Don't mind eph12, nothing has changed, many Nigerian men don't see their wives
as companions but servants and should the marriage has problem, the wife takes the
blame.
Even some "enlightened" men are not left behind as they want to retain the
overlord privilege enjoyed by their grand fathers, this won't have been a problem
but they want such privilege even when they fail to perform their primary duty.

myking95:


But babe the truth is most people that turn out to be very violent actually started out as good people. If a man loves u , never use it as a weapon against him, do u know some women sex starve their husband for years? Like less than 5 times in a year? Do u know how that feels? To realize that the person u care about doesn't give two hoots about ur feelings? I for one will do everything I've pasted earlier.. Even God will throw billions in hell because humans in apostle Paul's words "insulted the spirit of grace, by making the sacrifice of Jesus Christ null and void. Read Hebrews 12 and Isaiah 66 and Genesis 5&6 ( where God regretted making man for understanding). I can bet that woman is having an affair with someone else outsyd...u women give young men the impression that u hate and despise us, hence the growing army of misogynists....never make a man who truly loves u hate you...the man is just silly to beat the woman up, if it were me, I'll just go damage or reprogram the ECU(electronic control unit) of her car and watch her car misbehave or something totally mischevious, or let her keep her body and marry outsyd and just elope one day( if no kids)....bottom line is I'll hurt her as she hurt me..
but I'll still consider going out with u...if u say no...I wnt ask a second time till the end of the world.

If your wife is starving you of sex why don't you walk away from such union ?
Why should this man rape his wife ?

lonelydora:


From your quote, I know you are not married and you won't understand how early morning Konji works.

Just reading my comment you conclude I am not married because of early morning konji? you are funny sha.

SnowJay92:


As if the woman wouldn't cry to high heavens if the man does anything as close to what you're implying.

Na wa to you ooo, so as a married man you want to include buying sex in the to do shopping list?