Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

Have a son first nd u gonna understand, i swear if a girl question about my mum in a slight rude way or she's asking too much then even if it's hour's to our wedding I'm calling it quit. Shikena

Being addicted to one's mom is not bad. However, the prospective wife of a man that possesses such behavioral traits needs to decide what is important for her. If him being attached to his mother is a problem for you, then please leave him and find somebody else. Don't try to change him cos it won't work.

Personally, i would love people who love people.

GhettoG1:
Have a son first nd u honna understand, i swear if a girl question about my mum in a slight rude way or she's asking too much then even if it's hour's to our wedding I'm calling it quit. Shikena

did u read the part i said that im cool with guys that are close to their mums. My mans own is just so weird and creepy

Who have you been taking advises from? Did you stop for a moment and think about how traumatic it must have been for him losing his dad? And that poor woman struggled to get him where he is today. It's not like she's going to be dragging your matrimonial home with you, as long as she isn't bad to you I do not see where the problem is. If you're not comfy with it, you can go your way.

Closeness is one thing,being a mummy's boy is another. You have to know the difference.
He can be close to his mum yet be his own man and make his own decisions.I don't think you should have a problem with that.If he's a mummy's boy however- can't make decisions without her input,allows her control him e t.c.,then you should run.

Ok

sweerychick:
did u read the part i said that im cool with guys that are close to their mums. My mans own is just so weird and creepy

Hmn in that way if he's still giving you attention den don't question him bout it again so far as you are nt living in d same building with d mum. Some words are more better unsaid

sweerychick:
did u read the part i said that im cool with guys that are close to their mums. My mans own is just so weird and creepy

Hmn in that way if he's still giving you attention den don't question him bout it again so far as you are nt living in d same building with d mum. Some words are more better left unsaid

Losing his dad need not turn him into some vegetable-like mummy's boy, doing that is his own choice. He is overcompensating and you need not be the victim.

You need to embrace the possibility that his calling mom every other hour might make her a major factor in his, and your, decision-making dynamics for a long time to come? Hence, are you gonna be comfortable with knowing that it was 'mom' who practically handpicked the sexy loungerie he got you last Valentine OR that he discusses certain embarrassing intimacies of your lovelife with her? Wake up!!

Is he his own man? Does he own his own mind, faults, choices and victories? His plan for living, how much of mom's input is in that? You need to know because once you marry him. His reality becomes partly yours. So, if he is see in life through fragmented lenses, the sight might affect your viewpoint too.

Get qualified and strategic counseling and put your foot down in that relationship. Don't just marry that guy like that. Its normal, in fact, very cool to be close-to-mom but if you find out that he is on some arrested-development trip, fire his arss!

If u are not cool with it,

U ar indeed egocentric,

Nonsense,

No lady can take my mother's place, if u no like am, get the furk off,
Nonsense,
Naso Evans love Lady so tey she betray am,
Which person mama go do like dat to her son?


Annoying self centered ladies everywhere..

Mtchew

girls and mother in-laws fight be like iPod and Fulani fight. no bases but fighting

Listen , no mother will every make a decision in the marriage of his son that can never be of an advantage to the son . I see this op as a bad wife to be . What's your problem with him been close to his mom. Do know how that poor woman suffered to pay the boy fees ? Have you ever contributed any thing financially to the life of that boy. Mothers are the one that can love there son unconditionally including when money is there and when money is not there, mothers will still love there son. Is it not you girls that only love a Man when the going is Good and when things turn bad you will disrespect,insult and abandon him . Remember that what ever you wish that poor old woman will still happen to you during your old age . I will advice you to love her mother like your own mother . FULL STOP .

Sweerychick, you're going to get only bias response. Few posters have been objective, the rest only gave the usual talk. If you're not exaggerating, then you have reasons to be concerned.
You have to understand kids brought up brought up by one parent are usually very attached to them, it has nothing to do with you having a son first. There are ladies that behave like that too.

What you should be concerned with is... is he fond of mom or is he a complete mom's boy, that type that can't take decisions on their own. If he is a complete mom's boy, then have it in mind that there'll always be interference in your home. If he is only fond of mom, you should remain glad...you wouldn't have it any other way.

Ignore blackmails, I am sure your own parents suffered for you too. You didn't wish her any wrong, you only raised your concerns which men can have too. All these guys typing rubbish here won't marry a lady who consults her mum in everything.

vargasvictory:
Who have you been taking advises from? Did you stop for a moment and think about how traumatic it must have been for him losing his dad? And that poor woman struggled to get him where he is today. It's not like she's going to be dragging your matrimonial home with you, as long as she isn't bad to you I do not see where the problem is. If you're not comfy with it, you can go your way.

Abeg jor! When my dad died, my mum didn't latch to my brothers like a leech. It is not all mums and sons that act like Siamese twins. Both can be close but not to the point of posing a threat to other loved ones like the wife.
That is exactly how a lot of mums tend to manipulate their sons and toss them around like toys.

OP be ready to be the second wife. I like a man that is his own man. Not one that needs to nurse from his mum everytime.

U don't need to worry yourself about these issue angel. U need to first understand d reason why he's so glued to his mum and then start mapping out plans on how to tackle d issue. D first is, is he d only child of his mum?, Is he d only son?, Is he's dad late.
These are things u need to find out about him and then u take your next line of action. If he's d only child, then believe me u, u will need to give him some time cus he's been with his mum since he's still a kid and u don't just expect him to distance himself a little bit from her all because of u. U will need to give him some time and by so doing sit him down and try discussing issues with him in a very respectful and civil manner. With time, he's gonn adjust. But then again, u will have to give him time. Am just like him also, and am d only child of my mum and if any lady dares complain about these to me, i will be frank with her. Am definitely gonna pull d trigger

Make sure you have that rethink and break up with him as soon as possible

No born man has ever been able to satisfy a lady..why is it so?.. you will always find that shortcoming and hold on to it like your life is depended on it..i mean you have a fiancee that doesn't abuse you physically , verbally or emotionally and yet of all issues you would bring this up?

Evidently you really do not know the kind of attraction a son has towards his mother and you would gladly challenge that cos of the few posts you have succeeded in reading online or what?.hence giving you an arena to question everything you have ever believed is a norm in relationships

This is no issue cos you have in no way highlighted meaningful points that could pose a threat to your existence if marriage does occur..Embrace what you have now or some girl might come in handy to steal your joy...may your case never end with " had i known"

Shikena

Stop trying to compete with his mother. He has one parent. At what age did his father die? It might have been a very traumatic time for your man. Have you considered that ? Try to get to know his mother as a person rather than confront him. It's his mother why should he have to explain his affection of her to you?

It's either u break up ...or you continue the Rship.,



Ur choice

PapaNnamdi:
If u are not cool with it,

U ar indeed egocentric,

Nonsense,

No lady can take my mother's place, if u no like am, get the furk off,
Nonsense,
Naso Evans love Lady so tey she betray am,
Which person mama go do like dat to her son?


Annoying self centered ladies everywhere..

Mtchew

U dnt knw wot u sayin

pocohantas:
Sweerychick, you're going to get only bias response. Few posters have been objective, the rest only gave the usual talk. If you're not exaggerating, then you have reasons to be concerned.
You have to understand kids brought up brought up by one parent are usually very attached to them, it has nothing to do with you having a son first. There are ladies that behave like that too.

What you should be concerned with is... is he fond of mom or is he a complete mom's boy, that type that can't take decisions on their own. If he is a complete mom's boy, then have it in mind that there'll always be interference in your home. If he is only fond of mom, you should remain glad...you wouldn't have it any other way.

Ignore blackmails, I am sure your own parents suffered for you too. You didn't wish her any wrong, you only raised your concerns which men can have too.

thanks swt, i appreciate your advice..

So many kids, commenting here without reasoning and throwing insults, ive already seen one calling the op a bad wife to be. Haba, anyway op i totally understand how u feel, i too i am a mamas boy, and my own dad is late, but one thing i like my mum is that she makes me realize i would have my own family one day. in your own situation i suggest u dont interfere at all, try and get close to his mum too. See her as your own mum too since u are going to be part of the family. Never and i repeat never try to question your man again about him calling his mum or visiting her, rather let him fill u in on whats going and why he calls his mum and u must be polite about it. If he decides not to tell u, dont force it out on him. Remember u will be a mother one day. Goodluck

Being close to his mom is ok but my sister, if he cant make a single decision without consulting his mom first, run for your life because you won't av a single say in that marriage....... Everything will boil down to "mummy said this" and mummy said that" and you guys won't have any secrets whatsoever cos before you hear sef mummy has heard it.

Don't mind all those silly asses up there. If u become a mother one day, will you run your son's life? No! So don't let anyone blackmail you into you're selfish or that u will become a mother one day too.

Or is your own mother not a good mother too? Or did ur mum also not make sacrifices for you? Does that mean u call her every minute or can't make decisions on your own without consulting ur mum first? Abeg, I love my mum with everything​ in me, so many sacrifices she has made for us but that doesn't mean we should tie ourselves to her apron's string!
A man should have a mind of his own!!!!!!!!

I don't know why am ranting but those comments up there are effing annoying!

This is my part of the advise; it all goes down to the mother now, whatever you have observed about her is what will dertermine your decision. You'v loved people of his kind and you'v shown him that from the beginning, you don't need to just let go of the likeness cheaply. You cannot take that away from him, don't even try it. You will also need to learn to be so close with his mother to balance it up, all you need from her is her complete support of you, let her get so use of you,be available for her in body and spirit often,stop bothering yourself about his love for his mum, get used to it and work to get the full support of the mother to balance it up so that there wouldn't be issue. It is only if you have seen trait of something else in the mother, like she complains about you or act funny when it comes to you then you really need to adjust, if not, you might even enjoy the family more.

Medunah:
Being close to his mom is ok but my sister, if he cant make a single decision without consulting his mom first, run for your life because you won't av a single say in that marriage....... Everything will boil down to "mummy said this" and mummy said that"

Don't mind all those silly asses up there. If u become a mother one day, will you run your son's life? No! So don't let anyone blackmail you into you're selfish or that u will become a mother one day too.

Or is your own mother not a good mother too? Or did ur mum also not make sacrifices for you? Does that mean u call her every minute or can't make decisions on your own without consulting ur mum first? Abeg, I love my mum with everything​ in me, so many sacrifices she has made for us but that doesn't mean she should tie us to her apron's string!
A man should have a mind of his own!!!!!!!!

I don't know why am ranting but those comments up there are effing annoying!

lol. Sincerely you have said it all, if he is able to make decisions without her and if the mother is good to you, you are good to go, what i said up there will work so much in this case, spoil her for her child who is your man and you will see him love you so much and even want to leave her for you as you have shown you can take care of her for him.

Regardless of how most comments have depicted you as silly, insecure etc, you have a legitimate concern and raised as such. I'm very close to my mum but I find his behaviour worrisome really!

I feel moving forward, you should observe the content of there calls quietly that is... Know what he tells her even innocently suggest to put it on speaker sometimes. He might just be checking on her as he is probably used to filling the void left by her husband.

All those asking whether he makes his own decisions? Well he consults his mum most times before his decision.. Though i dont confront him abt that.. My only concern is that his statement abt him dying along with his mum..

...

I broke up with two ladies simply because my mum always wants to know my whereabout anytime, and they seemed not comfortable with that. I had no option but to kick their ass. They all ended up calling me mama's boy. That I should I grow. Who cares

If you love him. Then learn to appreciate who or what he likes. His mother is the reason you could see him fit enough to be called your man. She must have sacrificed all to raise him after the death of the father. Respect that fact.

Love and accept his mother and see how your guy would honour and love you in return.

Rubish


Has he paid her birth price