@OP run away oh .... the "idi0t" that he is calling you may turn into blows after marriage

GoodMuyis:


What about you trying to get used to it and avoid argument with him, Oko won Lode oo (Husband is expensive outside oo).
You are a strong and wise woman if your spouse later change that attitude

Oko gidi won lode that's true, but this guy is a boy not a man. Awon oko gidi don't beat their wives. Na your type dey beat women. With a mindset like yours its not wonder why physical abuse is so rampant in Nigeria. Normalising rubbish.

There is a simple solution to your problem. The next time she insults you insult her in return. It works.

tell tale sign that you are in an abusive relationship, please call it quits before it escalates and you yourself are troubled by the relationship, so that should be a clue to put an end to it.

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

Have you stopped to think about it for a moment that, he truly might be right that you are a fool and an idiot, if for nothing else; but at least, for still considering to marry him?

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

He needs brokenness!
period

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

Marry him. That is what every sane person wants and needs. An abusive spouse. You obviously cannot think for yourself.

Not always what it seems Tosyne

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXBZRMNTCSU

tosyne2much:
This is just a preamble of how he will unleash his wrestling/boxing skills to administer 50kg worth of punches on your face in conjunction with "smack down" when he finally pays your bride price. These are the salient qualities of potential wife beaters yet you choose to stick to such a man sole because your source of livelihood depends on him. (it's very obvious). I mean do you think marriage is a "magician" that changes people completely, especially a man that is already calling you an idiot even without official ownership on you?

This is what to expect when you're too dependent on a man for financial security, and I hope this will serve as a source of lesson to many Nairaland ladies who are always opening irrelevant threads to express their love for already made men and disgust for broke guys. They need to see how some of these men treat these "long throat" ladies like poo after marriage, as they don't always have any say in marriage. A man whom you build riches and wealth will never call you a "fool" or an "idiot" no matter what (though, it happens but very rare)

You can see the signs of dangers with your korokoro eyes yet you're bent on getting married to this same person next month.. Issokay oooo! Sha don't come and open an irrelevant after thread asking on ways to go about divorce because we won't even let it creep to the front page.

Anyway, I wish you an abusive marriage life in advance with your misogynist husband

PrickGetSize:
Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.

Marriage is for better or worse!

Re.tarded comment

feelgoodInc:
no matter the advise we give you, you'll still go ahead with the marriage, and one day you're going to take a real beating from him, so keep yourself ready

IMO, she should act in response to the stronger fear...the fear of a broken courtship vs the fear of an abusive marriage. Let her follow the one she can endure.

scooby12:


This is crap. Who said people won't fight or argue in a relationship?
Fighting Isn’t the Real Issue. It’s how you make Up that counts.

Op, why don't we hear your fiancee's side of the story.

The diff is HOW you argue/fight.

You can argue without using abusive, deep cutting wordz, you know that right

The fact that your Fiance does not see anything wrong in calling you names goes to show you how much respect he has for you, irrespective of the fact that you guys are planning to tie the knot. My two cents, He's immature and does not deserve you neither should he get married, because once you get married to him, then abusive words might not be enough for him. He might just graduate to beating you and he'd see no problem with that just as he sees nothing wrong with abusing you. I also think you know what to do already, you just need several 'second opinions'. Whatever decision you make, I wish you the very best. Cheers

sista run away as fast as u could.did one na wife beater for sure

Run

Dear lady,
Let me ask you this: are you hiding his behavior from your father and mother?
If you are, then yes, then you are not in a good place.

I speak from personal experience. I "overlooked" some of these evils before marriage; I suffered for it greatly afterwards.
Verbal abuse is a sign of what is inside him; it is dark. Irrespective of his "nice side".

WORSE still he may have a PERSONALITY DISORDER in what is called a "cluster B" personality disorder. Please search for it on google.

He might not really love you. He might just be at the age where marriage is doing him.

Also, if he is nice to outsiders and bad to you who should be the apple of his eye, run. Many spouse abusers don't maltreat outsiders, but it is their spouses that they attack.

Yes the date is next month, but lean on your father and mother for strength to do what is right.

You are not like that, so why accept it from anybody? He should be the one honoring you the most.

If you leave don't go back; you don't want to go to someone who pretends to be ok. If by now he doesn't realize he has a serious problem, don't let him pretend to be cured and come and take you back. Go and read that cluster B thing well.

SAFETY: If you drop the guy, make sure you don't go there alone to tell him. This kind of anger...hmm..we don't want you to be a victim.

My dear, you are somebody's daughter still.
Best wishes.

PrickGetSize:
Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.

Marriage is for better or worse!

As in Seriously,? !
A human being typed this and got 38likes Then I must be sick or something is wrong with the system

One day, he won't feel like talking much. He may decide to make use of SLAP, BLOW or even NODDING sef.

Terrence15115:
Your moniker and your advise should not be taken seriously!

Lmao

[i][/i][b][/b]Anyday he insult u again, pls quit d marriage & see if it will give u joy, mumu like u, don't u know ao many pipu who are praying just to av a husband?



see my signature
Anyday he insult u again, pls quit d marriage & see if it will give u joy, mumu like u, don't u know ao many pipu who are praying just to av a husband?



see my signature
Anyday he insult u again, pls quit d marriage & see if it will give u joy, mumu like u, don't u know ao many pipu who are praying just to av a husband?



see my signature

trustyshoess:

You're right tho. Some women seem to be blind to the obvious signs of a violent partner. Same person will probably come on nairaland in 6 months to ask us if she should leave him because he beat her. Smh

It's not her fault... I guess it's because she doesn't want to lose some benefits from the guy

MrSly:

Listen to those things written by ss2 and ss3 students, single ladies and bachelors at our own risk. Married people are at work, not time to comment and when they come back they have their partners to take care of. No wise advice here as I have seen. Better meet those in successful marriage for direction. Don't listen to 21st century youths. Their ways make no good home and their advice leads astray.

And you think you made any sense?

So people need to be married before they can offer quality advice to the OP as regards this issue right?

So, common sense and sound judgement about life issues are only attributed to married people abi? ... Issokay!

Na your comment make sense pass for this thread

My people question I think we should ask dis lady is dat re dey forcing her to marry by force dis year? Or it is d only guy dat ask u to marry him ? How old is d guy too ? U re still young to dead because of marriage oooo , dnt marry because of money or handsome or maybe d guy is good in bed. Think twice oooo my sister

As long as you don't fight in your wedding day. And Jollof rice doesn't finish midway. Abeg, I beg, let that wedding hold.

jacksonjason45:
[i][/i][b][/b]Anyday he insult u again, pls quit d marriage & see if it will give u joy, mumu like u, don't u know ao many pipu who are praying just to av a husband?



see my signature
Anyday he insult u again, pls quit d marriage & see if it will give u joy, mumu like u, don't u know ao many pipu who are praying just to av a husband?



see my signature
Anyday he insult u again, pls quit d marriage & see if it will give u joy, mumu like u, don't u know ao many pipu who are praying just to av a husband?



see my signature

How u dnt take more than wot dey ask you to take in hospital? If she is ur sister dat is d advice u re going to gv her? Yes dey re praying to God for husband but not animal like u and dat guy

tosyne2much:
This is just a preamble of how he will unleash his wrestling/boxing skills to administer 50kg worth of punches on your face in conjunction with "smack down" when he finally pays your bride price. These are the salient qualities of potential wife beaters yet you choose to stick to such a man probably because your source of livelihood depends on him. (it's very obvious). I mean do you think marriage is a "magician" that changes people completely from beasts to angels , especially a man that is already showing you his true colour even without legal ownership of you?

This is what to expect when you're too dependent on a man for financial security and your self esteem is thrown to the wind. I hope this will serve as a source of lesson to many Nairaland ladies who are always opening irrelevant threads to express their love for already made men and disgust for broke guys. They need to see how some of these men treat these "long throat" ladies like poo before/after marriage. The way you present yourself to a man determines how he will respect you.

Since you can see the signs of dangers with your korokoro eyes yet you're bent on getting married to this same person next month. That was how my female friend despise all advice and got married to a man with similar character with the OP's fiance, but now she has returned back to her parents home due to assault.

Sha don't later come and open an irrelevant thread asking us ways to cope with your temperamental husband because we won't even let it creep to the front page.

Anyway, I wish you an abusive marriage life in advance with your potential wife beater

I'm disappointed in u for picking on one side story to pass ur judgement....u should have asked OP what led to such moment of insult... I worked in a place and I have both married and singles women working together with me...do u know most of d married female behave better....d singles way of u viewing life is far from reality...when I discuss with d married one I always remind them dat dey got their maturity of reasoning as a result of their married status...So Tosyne2much there is. more in what OP is not telling us

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

get ready to chop cane...you were warned

Leave this guy....he is abusive,to me he does not value you God give you some one who will not be abusive.....you are a wife to be not a servant I will not tolerate an abusive man

Do not dare it. You will only regret the experience.

He will not change.

Hmm,that's so bad...About to marry for that matter

r u sure u r not d type I m having now? I think I have ur type with me. a girl i hope to marry and really in love with her use to pick an offence in every correction i give 2 her when ever she does sth wrong. I can't judge ur husband to be cos i haven't heard from him. search ur self madam.

PrickGetSize:
Does he have enough money to take care of you and your future family?

Does he show you love?

Does he care for your well-being?

Does he fvck you real good?

If the answer to these questions is yes then I see no reason why ordinary insult should spoil your marriage, unless he beats you. Insult him back - call him a bigger fool, a he-goat, a maluu, a stupendous ignoramus calamity - and get used to it. When kids start coming he won't have time to insult you again.

Marriage is for better or worse!

Being bleeped well is not marriage bt bleeped with love is...Being fed well alone is nt it either bt u both eat as a family is...and calling him names wont help coz two wrongs cant make a right and u even when kids he wont abuse again? u are wrong coz datz where another problem startz...jst sayin