sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

That what Ijebu women do to their son....jazz-connect them

Are you sure you're not talking about your bf's sugar mummy?

sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

However, the bolded isn't out of place. It's quite normal. Though, your man has a lot of growing up to do.

Benita27:
My pastor once said "If you want to know a man who'd threat you right, check how he threats his mum". The guy may be very close to his mum, and take counsel from her which is what most guys/ladies do by the way but what she should be bothered about is if her fiancé mum guides him wrongly.

Hmmm...Words from a wise man...Please which church is dat and d pastors name...

Did anyone wonder about the semi-curse he has placed upon himself saying "if my mum dies, I'll die along with her"?

Words of mouth could be action in the making.
Three things are involved:
1. Plead with him to take the words off him (let him see reason..)
2. Take it to God to overlook his utterances particularly in that regard
3. He shouldn't die along with his mum leaving you a widow (assuming untimely death is not imagined). Use your tongue to count your teeth.

Be diplomatic if you truly need that man of yours

acc001:

U dnt knw wot u sayin

never compete with a mother...

I think he's a good man and you can cope with time provided the mum is not the overbearing type.
Btw, why are ladies always worried about our mothers?

dreezybines:


Hmmm...Words from a wise man...Please which church is dat and d pastors name...

Pastor Lanre Oluseye...House On The Rock, Port Harcourt Branch.

To whom do you want him to be attached to if not him mum? My wife can't even compete attachment level with my mum not to talk of ordinary girl friend like you. Then day you compete attachment level the day you start to fail. My mum is my hero

What the heck are you saying??

Sorry but your mum mixed up the terminology.

It should be if the woman "that born, cooks and warms bed for you" dies, you can remarry....

Look... That statement is null and void when you come to realise that you can never be One in body and soul with your Mother but ONLY WITH YOUR WIFE.

Women who gives birth to your kids and warm your beds and wash your clothes and also cooks can be replaced BUT A WIFE?? hahahahaa... SHE CANNOT BE REPLACED... IF ONLY YOU KNOW THE DEEP REVELATION BEHIND THE WORD "WIFE". She does the above things but even much more... it is sad how most men see women these days. They don't understand what marriage is.

A man who marries "A WIFE" and loses her will testify to you about how impossible it is to replace her. A wife is different from the everyday housewife... A Wife, and I mean the Virtuous Woman kind is the center of a man's World. There is a reason why It is written that whosoever finds "A Wife" finds a good thing indeed.

obataokenwa:
I didn't read either where you said the closeness to his mum affect you guys relationship. My mum once told me "If your wife die, you can remarry... but if your mum dies, she can never be replaced". Your own type of jealousy is a possessive one(gumbody).

ImaIma1:


Abeg jor! When my dad died, my mum didn't latch to my brothers like a leech. It is not all mums and sons that act like Siamese twins. Both can be close but not to the point of posing a threat to other loved ones like the wife.
That is exactly how a lot of mums tend to manipulate their sons and toss them around like toys.

OP be ready to be the second wife. I like a man that is his own man. Not one that needs to nurse from his mum everytime.

Babe I wish you well o... I pray u don't av unnecessary issues with ur in laws due to your insecurities

Op, if I were you, I'd dump his azz to enable him find another woman that appreciate mothers love and go get myself a man that hates his mom with reckless abandon.

Is it only him,? Find for yourself a misogynist/alpha male abeg. I'm even surprise his mom approved of your marriage to him... how'd that even happen?

azimibraun:
Truth hurts. But those were your words not mine. You wish to protect your daughters but your In-laws should not protect their sons. It doesn't work that way. Folks should allow their kids run their homes and watch from the sidelines. If they need your help they will call upon you. It's a selfish world.

Well said. too deep.

GhettoG1:
Have a son first nd u gonna understand, i swear if a girl question about my mum in a slight rude way or she's asking too much then even if it's hour's to our wedding I'm calling it quit. Shikena

My man, you be correct guy.

Infact. One bottle of very cold origin for you

iwatch:
never compete with a mother...

Nva compete wt a wife,u v to mk a stand in both,ur prayer shud b,dt God shud giv u a woman dt will lov ur mother,.

Girlfriend, there is only one spot for a man or woman in marriage; to be no 1. If that is not you forget no 2.spot, it doesnt exist, it is not marriage.

ImaIma1:


Abeg jor! When my dad died, my mum didn't latch to my brothers like a leech. It is not all mums and sons that act like Siamese twins. Both can be close but not to the point of posing a threat to other loved ones like the wife.
That is exactly how a lot of mums tend to manipulate their sons and toss them around like toys.

OP be ready to be the second wife. I like a man that is his own man. Not one that needs to nurse from his mum everytime.

when did ur dad die. time u lose a parent matter a lot, if the man lost his father at a very young age say 3-5 and Na the woman dey for am since then, he will cherish ner well.

IMASTEX:
If you love him. Then learn to appreciate who or what he likes. His mother is the reason you could see him fit enough to be called your man. She must have sacrificed all to raise him after the death of the father. Respect that fact.

Love and accept his mother and see how your guy would honour and love you in return.

Dat is d point. Some girls pray and fast for den to know what their man wants. So if u discovered dat ur man loves his Mum, u have no option dan to love d mum d more. If he calls her once in an hour, u should call d mum twice in an hour. If u are complaining, u must be a witch and a bad wife to be.

funkyibodude:
So many kids, commenting here without reasoning and throwing insults, ive already seen one calling the op a bad wife to be. Haba, anyway op i totally understand how u feel, i too i am a mamas boy, and my own dad is late, but one thing i like my mum is that she makes me realize i would have my own family one day. in your own situation i suggest u dont interfere at all, try and get close to his mum too. See her as your own mum too since u are going to be part of the family. Never and i repeat never try to question your man again about him calling his mum or visiting her, rather let him fill u in on whats going and why he calls his mum and u must be polite about it. If he decides not to tell u, dont force it out on him. Remember u will be a mother one day. Goodluck

Why on earth do you need to call your mom Morning, Afternoon, Night and even Mid Night?

Like WTF.

Fill me in on what?

Being a mummy's boy does way more harm than good!

Afam4eva:
Being addicted to one's mom is not bad. However, the prospective wife of a man that possesses such behavioral traits needs to decide what is important for her. If him being attached to his mother is a problem for you, then please leave him and find somebody else. Don't try to change him cos it won't work.

Personally, i would love people who love people.

I love this.
Dont try to change him if you can't deal, then in the famous words of hova be On to the Next One.
His dad is late and his mom deserves to reap the fruits of their Labour. Who carved him to be the man you love now?
His affection for his mom by no means diminishes his love for you, so don't feel threatened. I just think you have nothing else to complain about that's why this has become like a lump in your throat. Would you prefer if it was an Ex or his Boss or a Side chic he was giving all this attention?
Yea, didn't think so.

My lady, u r dating a mama's boy. You have options:

1. U leave the guy if u think u can't handle it

2. Try talking to him. If he listens, then good, else, number 1

3. Stay with him, swallow the whole bs and hope for a better day

Alariwo2:


Are you minding those myopic souls called women in this age?

I can bet it that the same lady complaining will bring her mother only close to herself and her husband when she successfully gets rid of her mother - in - law.

That's how they are

Hahahahahhaha na truth o

sweerychick:
All those asking whether he makes his own decisions? Well he consults his mum most times before his decision.. Though i dont confront him abt that.. My only concern is that his statement abt him dying along with his mum..

My dear its just a hearsay.... I remember me saying it too then that i cant live without my mom... Even my jnr brother still mentioned that exact same word last week that he can't live without mum. He ll rather die with her... My own mentality changed as i get older... Now i find more reasons to live. Xo don't u worry about dat statement.. I promise you it will change..

sweerychick:
did u read the part i said that im cool with guys that are close to their mums. My mans own is just so weird and creepy

Then leave him and let him be.

Its his business how he chooses to relate with his mum. Do you feel his mum is taking away all the attention he should have on you? Would you have been happier if it was you he decided to leave work for to go and buy paracetamol and drop for you?
Meanwhile, it also your business how you choose to relate with your own folks.
I've always believed the heart is big enough to accommodate enough love to go round family members.
Don't even bother to continue the relationship if you feel the mum is a competition to you.

jaydee87:
when did ur dad die. time u lose a parent matter a lot, if the man lost his father at a very young age say 3-5 and Na the woman dey for am since then, he will cherish ner well.

That I cherish my mom doesn't mean I have to call her twice a day everyday.

That's creepy to say the least.

A real man don't need the parent when making decisions. I don't need my mom to tell me what to do and this doesn't mean that I don't love her.

In case you're wondering, my mom has been my sole sponsor since the age of 3. No father, no relative. I love her so much but I'm not going to call her twice a day everyday to express my love.

If I were a woman, I wouldn't date a mama's boy.

Tbh I had this surge of anger after reading this post. See, for most of us our mum means the whole world literally speaking. Not sure you'd ever understand that.

acc001:

Nva compete wt a wife,u v to mk a stand in both,ur prayer shud b,dt God shud giv u a woman dt will lov ur mother,.

That is not the case here because the OP clearly is paranoid and I didn't see where she stated that the mother is wicked, she hates her, she does not like her... but her nightmare is that a A SON cares for his OWN MOTHER... any girl with such mindset is evil AND I will never marry such a woman.

sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

Fisrt, You would be a mum on day and if you find yourself in this situation as a mum, you wld appreciate it..

However, rather than quit or think about quitting, start loving the mum equally as well, in no time you wld have a fun hand with kids messing up your living room.. lol

over to Martin0 for his advice....

There are some men that still behave like boys..If your man falls to that category,a man that can't take a single decision without MUMMY's approval,its so dangerous.. Because,if you eventually get married,MUMMY will always dictate on what to do,in fact she will know date,month,time you conceived..
I'm not saying getting closer to one's mom is bad,after all we all pray to be a GOOD mother someday,but showing it too much is bad,because he's only endangering his mom's life.. There are some "married boys" that allowed their mum to take charge of their homes,those mums are the one causing problem between the couple,since they know their son will always take their side,this will definitely cause rivalry&enmity between the wife&the mum..
Most of "married boys" says,I know what she went through for me,no woman can come between us,she's the first woman in my life,sincerely ALL GOOD MOTHERS sacrifice for their children!
Bible says,therefore shall a man leaves his Mother and join his wife,not still leaving under her instructions&she dictating in the affairs of the home!

Your mum should not always call to ask of your whereabouts. It's abnormal. I don't know why those girls had to wait for you to break up with them before they broke up with you. A man is called a man for a million reasons. I want to bet that you're a very weak person and are yet to reach your potentials.

Masquerade7:
I broke up with two ladies simply because my mum always wants to know my whereabout anytime, and they seemed not comfortable with that. I had no option but to kick their ass. They all ended up calling me mama's boy. That I should I grow. Who cares

Liverpoolfc:
To whom do you want him to be attached to if not him mum? My wife can't even compete attachment level with my mum not to talk of ordinary girl friend like you. Then day you compete attachment level the day you start to fail. My mum is my hero

So attached that you will die if your mum dies?

Let's stop beating around the bush.