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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed (38273 Views)
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Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by enigmaticlion: 12:32pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
sweerychick:You need help and re-orientation. You ladies think marrying a grown man will make him forget his Mom? Most of you usually wish the mother of your fiance to be to have been dead before you met him. Now turn the tables around and imagine of you were that mother and your fiance is your son. Nigerians ladies are naturally I'll mannered and lazy domestically , hence they want absolute and total control. 3 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by ImaIma1(f): 12:34pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
ferhyntorlah: Most of them are not ready to get married. When they do, they ask their mum about everything. If they decide on something with their wives, they change it after they discuss it with their mother. They have still not left their father and MOTHER to cling to their wives. 4 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by iamrealdeji(m): 12:34pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
sweerychick:you are the bad person and I would advise him to dump your ass if I was his friend. don't you have any idea how much we men love our mum? if I had the chance and money to buy much recharge card,you think I won't call my mum like 3 times daily? can you do half of what his mum has done in his life for him? I'm talking about real mums o and not the type of mum that dumps their babies inside refuse bin after giving birth. as for dying,don't worry my dear,he won't die if his mother dies,he's just feeling that way. just keep praying for his mother to live soooo long like metusellah I really like how that boy is treating his mum and may he be more successful for treating his mom like a queen. good mums should be treated like queens. we men treat our good mums even better than ourselves. I'm lucky to have a good mum and she's the best woman in the world 3 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by fohlarp: 12:37pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
sweerychick:This d statemt dt's makg me feel 4 U.den tell him it will be 2 early 4 U to be a widower,if both of dem av signed dying 2geda shd U allow U mv on wth smone whose lifespan is longer.stupid talk 2 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by greggng: 12:37pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
I will advice u when ur biological clock is over 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by deebrain(m): 12:37pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
Be wise. It has nothing to do with "being man enough ". It is a pride to any woman that her son is crazy over her despite being married. The recipe to crash your marriage is to be opposition party to the man -mother alliance. Rather than doing opposition party, start doing something for the woman on your own. Be her daughter. With time, the man will have a bit of confidence that it's not only him that looks out for the mother and will calm down. Your male children will never forget you if you do these. |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:39pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
iamrealdeji: You can't have the chance and money to call your mom 3 times a day with this mentality. You should be thinking about how to move your life and hers forward not calling her to ask what she had for lunch, and what she's preparing for dinner. Get a life, go out there and make some millions, come back and change your mom's life, not calling and doing like a jelly fish when around her! 5 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Arccangel(f): 12:40pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
OP, all these guys would just give you biased opinions because they are mummy's boys too. A man that calls his mother every hour when it no like she's sick has a problem. Every hour!! Unless you are exaggerating o. But if you are being completely honest about dis, then just know dat that kind of man can never be his own man or make his own decisions. Im all for a man who cares and takes care of his mom and family o. Its a good trait. But not one dat dotes on his mom a if she's a child. That's a no no. And like someone rightly said, if you were that attached to your dad, it would have been a total turnoff for him. My best advice to you is ask your pastor spiritual head for proper advice and if you can't deal with your mother-in-law know in every single thing about your marriage, I mean every damn thing, den better run for your life because dont even think it would stop after you are married. So be wise and open your eyes ooo 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by iamrealdeji(m): 12:40pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
sweerychick:i wont tell your man to dump you anyway if I was his friend,just kidding. but you have to put yourself in her mother's shoes if you have a son too. |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by greatbrian(m): 12:42pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
Frankraj: Seriously i bless dz script of urs from the bottom of my hrt. |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Arccangel(f): 12:43pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
greggng: Your stupidity is on an advanced level. PHD stupid. Yo think men biological clock no dey finish?? Mumu 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by TheSuperNerd(m): 12:43pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
This sounds very similar to someone I know...... Your Mother is one of a kind. Kudos to her. ![]() But I must stress this truth... the OP does not look like she is trying to compete with his mum. Don't get her wrong. It is natural to feel slighted that the man you will call "Your Husband" will say "I can die for and with my mother" and it happens that he cannot say same about you.... I mean... you are gonna be "Wife" for crying out loud... The mother of his kids... the center of His World and The man regards His Mum slightly above you?? No... Something is not right. A mother who sacrifices like yours is one to behold and cherish forever but even she should know her place when it comes to Her son's marriage. If you are a Christian then you should be familiar with this scripture: Genesis.2vs24 (NKJV), "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to His Wife, and they shall become one flesh." You see that regardless of a father's and Mother's inputs and many sacrifices, they must understand that The Child, once he is a man, must be freed up to become One With His Wife.... a new family begins.... That does not in anyway end the love one has for his mum. It also does not mean she doesn't occupy a special place in your heart or that of her daughter-in-law... nooo. It only means that Right now, In Marriage, the No.1 in the man's life above all else except God is The Wife. This is the law of the universe... the is the standard of the right thing in our world which many have neglected because of Too much super attachment to Sentiments and Bias. The Love for your family especially your mother will be as strong as ever but must not be above The Love and Value you show for your Wife.... The LINE MUST BE DRAWN AND BALANCED BOUNDARIES ESTABLISHED. This is how a good marriage can become even better and be a model for all to follow. So it is not about her competing with anyone or the mother... it is about the humans of this world competing with God's standards in Marriage. Love for Dad stays super strong, Love for Mum stays ever super strong... a mother is a child's first super heroine. So the deeeeeeeep bond will be there Buuuuttttt.... A man child can never be ONE WITH HIS MUM NO MATTER THE BOND. That Oneness can only be with His Wife... and believe me... when you marry a virtuous woman as a Wife..... She will not compete with your mum.... she will only love your mum even more... But it is up to you, the man, to understand and enforce that Your Wife comes first.... why because... She is the only one in the entire Universe that is One with you. Let there be balance in these things. Sentiments based on personal experiences cannot help. And Believe me, If I tell you my own story... you will understand that my view is not corrupt but as balanced as it can be. I Love My Mother so much... I can starve myself just to see her feed (and have done so many times) and have done crazily risky things... I am one of the reasons why she is still alive today. But I understand the law of marriage and what it entails. Your Wife comes first. Chikena. Tiffbuxas: 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Elukapendragon(m): 12:43pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
I cant marry a Lady who loves her Dad more than me and i cant love my mum more than my wife[color=#990000][/color] 2 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by myahna(f): 12:43pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
pocohantas:i'm with you 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by ferhyntorlah(f): 12:45pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
ImaIma1: Exactly. 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by troy20(m): 12:45pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
never grew up a momma's boy but i can imagine being married to someone with such unhealthy attachment. especially having grown up with a father who i think probably was one.frankly you have to be very worried.you arnt going to be a top periority that one is clear enough and thats going to come in the way of very key moments.well how much can you cope with...well its not a bed of roses they say. 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by fohlarp: 12:46pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
IMASTEX:even at dat,(tryn to show d mother ,love,care n respect)as a good wife 2 be shd av bn done but do u knw sm mothers are wicked.am a lady I undstd wot she's sayn d intimacy is 2 mch dey want her to knw dt d Mother is d reasn 4 his existence,so he calls her mst times so d lady can decide weda to stay or not. |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:46pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
sweerychick: You have two choice here woman. You either live with it or dump his ass. If I were you, I wouldn't think twice before I dump his ass. I have an uncle like that. Can't make a decision without his mom's input. He and the mum are not worst enemies. My Uncle with an Msc from the UK came back to continue his mom's business. Turned down awesome job offers to continue the mom's dying business. 10 years down the line, he's so broke he lives on the wife's salary now. Men that can't stand by themselves can't withstand the harsh competition for survival out there. Your man is a baby and you have to join him to baby sit his mum or look for you self a man that is ready to conquer the world with you. 2 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Aleora(f): 12:49pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
problem with ladies is that you dont read.......kindly buy this book act like a lady and think like a man...just finished reading it....i hope it helps....everything you need to know is there.. 2 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by oodua1stson: 12:50pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
sweerychick:that his relationship makes you uncomfortable mean you're a terrible human being and he's better off with another person 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:51pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
solelymade: Yeah. The mum seems nice and protective in a healthy way ( asking him to stay at work since it isn't serious). Frankly, I look out for how a man treats the females in his life (mother, sisters, female friends), it tells a lot. One day you're gonna be the wife and 'mother' in his life and he'll treat you the way he treats them. 2 Likes |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by greggng: 12:51pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
Arccangel: Continue to insult me agadi ekwenka 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by MrigweC(m): 12:51pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
Am so attached to my mum and I don't care if anyone likes it or not , she has not for one day infulenced my relationship life , calling his mum midnight is way out of the league .I don't want to judge your boyfriend because I don't knw how his childhood was . my only advise is talk with him and give him time |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by weedfada(m): 12:53pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
bamisepeters: OP follow this and you're good to go! Wisdom is profitable to direct... 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by james2018: 12:53pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
His afraid of loosing his mum many people are like that |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by iamrealdeji(m): 12:54pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
NairaSand:that part is only an exaggeration to let op see it as nothing. I love my mum from earth to the moon and I don't call her trice a day eventhough I can afford it,not even everyday cos she is a busy and hardworking lady too,but she's my best friend . we both think alike and share very similar ideologies. she is so smart and thinks like a man. just like you said,I work hard and dedicate more time on my work than phone calls cos I want the best for my mum,myself and my family. I rarely even call anybody cos I'm too busy for phone calls. |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by royalty18: 12:54pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
Medunah: Thanks for this mature comment. I don't understand why some people are lopsided about this issue. someone has rightly help us distinguish between closeness and mummy's boy! If it is simply closeness, of course that's ok and in fact the Lady should warm her way into the mother's heart. BUT if it is a situation where the man cannot wee or pee without the mummy's permission, then I am afraid it's a NO NO. Note: I'm currently dealing with such a case. Both are married and the MIL beats the wife and all the husband can say is you must have offended mummy before she did that! Can you imagine ![]() OP, it is your life/future we are talking about here. Do not be coerced! |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by tayorh(m): 12:56pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
All you need to do is have a very good relationship with his mum, trust me you will understand better and know what next to do.. Don't leave your Man because of his addiction to his mum.. I am the only son of my mum and nobody can come between us.. LaiLai. 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by frankgreat(m): 12:56pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
GhettoG1:I have done mine already...she started askin plenty questions about my closeness with my mum one day I just called her and told her it's over sikena....no one comet in between me and her... 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:58pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
iamrealdeji: Now you're sounding intelligent ![]() I love my mom too but I'd love my wife more. My wife and children are my primary responsibility, my mom a rich woman on her own comes second. |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by obataokenwa(m): 12:58pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
NairaSand:The foolish don't understand the words of wisdom. I don't think you have mum or maybe you despise your mum 1 Like |
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nnamaka1: 12:59pm On Jun 17, 2017 |
sweerychick: Women!!! Women!!! Women!!! Why do you wan to enter his life and just change his life instead of adjusting to it ![]() So my advice to you is this, if you truly love him, accept and love him for who he truly his, accept his Mum because any guy that is dedicated to his mum is definitely bound to be dedicated to his Wife and family. A word is enough for a wise! |
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