Toks2008:


The day you ladies start reading my threads without sentiments is the day you will start seing the true message.

You can as well create a thread pointing to the men too.

Once you get married, your status changes and by right your name so that respect must come with it expecially in public.

Will Ambode's friends publicly call him Ambode to his face without putting Governor or your excellency?

pls next time you create a topic just put by toks in bracket so i wont bother opening it.

Omotayor123:
You should change your Topic to "Thirteen Awkward Things That Married Couple Do"

Don't stereotype by putting the Blame on Women Alone. Men needs to abide by those things too.
Your points are Very Okay but they should be both ways.

It's the duty & Responsibility of both partner to make the marriage work.

I agree with you to some extent but the reality of the situation is the success or failure of a marriage really does lie with the woman.

Unfortunate but true.

Somebody said women should do all those things because we are in the cruel world of men. This mindset is the reason the black race is still in the dark because they believe that women must suffer to make a happy home but its not. They forget that any relationship be it marriage or dating is meant to be enjoyed and not endured, so the efforts goes both ways... its as simple as that.

Interesting thread, but its just your perception Op.

Its funny how a thread addressed to women has more men commenting.

Even the few women that aired their views from their own perspective are shut down, forgetting that these same women are equal shareholders in a marriage.

It would be good if men listened more to women and what they want for marriages to truly succeed.

We all make things difficult for ourselves.
Personally, i feel this should be per individual.

We all should learn to treat others with dignity and respect (not only your spouse now). That's the first rule of a decent human being.

I could write an epistle, but I'll leave it at this.

Addicted2Women:
Women are naturally dumb

This one woke me from sleep

If you are unmarried, you have no business advising married people on marriage. Great points BTW

NothingDoMe:
All I'm interested in is the Bonus.

Bonus is more fun than salary.

U b osun state worker ni

Hipsofagoddess:


pls next time you create a topic just put by toks in bracket so i wont bother opening it.

Do you know why I let comments like this slide? it's because it's unfortunate that naira land has no age sections where a specified age limit are only allowed to interact else how on earth will a child like you be commenting on marital matter?

Many boys and girls who make irrational comments here could be my kids if I had a lady pregnant in my late teens or even early 20s.

For the records please don't make comments on my threads until you have attained that level of maturity where your brain can decode my deep messages.

This is why I am very careful making friends with any lady below 27 cos most of them still have baby mindset...

Too bad I had to mingle with toddlers on nairaland.

We will be discussing marital issues and babies who don't even know what romance is will be making the loudest noise.Iranu

Toks2008:
We all know that men sometimes can be very overbearing and sometimes responsible for some actions their wives take but nevertheless,women must understand that marriage is a great,decent and sacred institution that must be treated with utmost respect and guided with all sense of decency.

To be frank,there are some silly things some married ladies do that do not show any form of respect to them,their men and their marriage.
These are things that need to be avoided by the lady irrespective of whatever excuse they may have.

I have had many friends who have been married and some are divorced and after discussing with them,i have come to realize that some of these women were infact the architect of their failed marriages and i will try to elucidate on some of the awkward things ladies do that break up their marriages.

1. Poor communication:

In every relationship we find ourselves,communication is vital. No one is a mind reader and no matter what it may be that could be a reason for your unhappiness,speak out immediately in a stern manner and not laikadaisically.
Many women are found of calling their hubby's relatives to complain about certain issues meanwhile the hubby at home does not have an idea of how hurting they are concerning that issue.

2. Sharing their marital issue with a male admirer/friend.

Not every guy you know is responsible. We have some low lives that has no regard for any form of decency and it is no news that many guys are in this category.
When you discuss your marital issues with an admirer or a male friend,most times what these guys hear is "im vulnurable,i need you as a succor". This is why most times,when a married woman take solace in a male friend,the end result is usually an illicit affair.

3. Being careless with male friends.

I have always maintained that there is nothing like just friends between a married woman and another man.
If he is not your childhood friend,co-worker,co-student,business partner then you have no business with him.
Many married ladies have a careless habit of keeping male friends indiscriminately and worst still get so careless allowing these guys call them by their maiden names.

I will never call a married lady by her maiden name because just as the name suggests,its her unmarried name but will rather put Mrs,sis,madam.

When a married lady is called by her maiden name,it diminishes as well as tarnishes her respect,image and matrimony giving room for a potential unethical relationship between her and the "just male friends".

4. Seeking vengeance.

Many married lady tend to take some actions in order to prove to their hubby that a sauce for the goose is also ok for the gander but unfortunately this will destroy your marriage more.

When you take a revenge on your hubby by sleeping with another man because he cheats on you,of what use will that be to you?

What value will that add to your life?
Learn to maintain your dignity no matter what because at the end,the shame will all come back to you and as I always reiterate. ..nobody can make you do what you are not capable of doing.

5. Talking down on your hubby.

This is one foolish mistake many ladies do. You and your hubby are one and talking down on him means talking down on yourself. It is one thing to voice out what he did and another to use outright abusive words on him.

In situations where a couple seperates,some ladies will not mind talking down on their hubby with a friend,their family and even with male suitors and i keep wondering if the woman thinks this will earn her any form of respect.

If you call your hubby a sick man then what does that make you? Or you call your hubby an asshole then it takes an asshole to tango with such a man.

No matter how angry you may be,don't ever rule out reconcilation and even if you are never going to reconcile,respect your matrimony with him even if he deserves no respect from you.

6.Moving out of their matrimonial home hastily over an avoidable reason.

What excuse do you have for running out of your marriage?
He cheated on you,he does not give you attention,he took you for granted,he curses you and many more are the excuses married ladies hold on to and i keep asking this one question;
Will leaving solve the problem? Even a divorce is not a way out because its a 50/50 chance that the next man won't be worse so i advice that you confront that problem and try your best to solve it.

7. Believing there is always a better man out there.

This is one foolish thing married ladies believe. That they will get a better replacement.There are more than enough never married ladies out there for the unmarried guys so you will do yourself a great honor by sticking to your husband.

There is really no better man out there and except you are faced with an unrepentant violent man,please remain in your marriage because you will soon realize that its the same cycle we all go through in any union we find ourselves and there will always be one reason to leave any man you are married to.

Many women divorcees realize this too late as they end up as a toy in the hands of randy men,as second wife,or end up single for a long time as many men will believe they are doing them a big favour by wanting to be with them.

If you must throw in the towel on your marriage,make sure you have exhausted all means of reconciliation because i keep saying that it is better to be single at 40 than to be a divorcee at 20 and a 40 year old single lady is more maritally appealing than a 20year old divorcee,funny but true so think very well before you run out of your marriage.

8.Sharing their marital issues with single female friends..

Like seriously! it may surprise you to know that most of your friends who are still single are not happy that you are married so take your marital problem to them at your own risk.

9.Not looking sexy enough.

If our sultry actress Omotola jalade is looking this sexy after three children then tell me why you can't look sexy too.

Laziness is one big problem with most married ladies.Men get carried away by what they see so do yourself a favour, get that big tummy down and get into crazy bum shorts and flaunt that thing.

We know you cant maintain that sexy look we saw the very first time we met you but at least try your best to look sexy for the next 30years for us after marriage.

10. Never sorry.

Many women are so proud,egocentric and sturbborn to the extent that when they do or say things that are conspicously wrong,they will never or hardly apologize but rather would want to buttress the rationale behind their actions and most men see this as an appalling nature. Be quick to apologize even when you are right..men are naturally egocentric hence the need to bring down your ego to avoid the case of two men married to each other.

11.Geting insecure and monitoring her husband

I have always advised married women to let their men be. Believe whatever he says even when it is clear that he is lieng.The moment you start getting overly jealous,suspicious is the moment you begin to lose your self worth. Don't bother whether he is faithful or not but sternly tell him to play safe if he must be unfaithful and warn him to do it far from you cos what the eyes do not see do not hurt. Yes this sounds crazy but trust me,it works like magic because the husband will likely be on his toes and respect you the more. Remember that a man will always be a man and you can never monitor him.

12.Not good enough in the kitchen and the other room: .

If you are a married lady reading this please don't ever joke with these two places because any woman who knows how to use these two places will most likely have her husband where she wants him cos the way to a man's heart is forever through his stomach and down there.

13.Taking the job of a full housewife.

As you can clearly deduce,being a full housewife is a big job because those who babysit get paid so I quite understand how demanding this can be but nevertheless,don't settle for that,no matter how demanding the task of keeping the home front can be, still do something to be financially independent. Your husband may tell you he does not want you to work promising to provide all your needs but we both know he really can't do that without asking funny questions from you when you demand for money so it is important to have something doing so that the financial pressure will be less on your husband and you can also be self reliant.Being financially independent can also come in handy if your hubby faces any financial crises so take this advise seriously because financial pressure is a great destroyer of marriage.

I don't know if these makes sense.

✔️ Yes. All you said made sense. It is the bitter truth. We ladies should learn to avoid had l known that comes at last. Thanks man.

unbeatablerosak:
✔️ Yes. All you said made sense. It is the bitter truth. We ladies should learn to avoid had l known that comes at last. Thanks man.

Nice to know and btw how did you input that tick symbol?

Every one desires or wants to or are married but how many married or yet to marry found the bone of their bone or are able to find the bone of their bone spiritually as bible commands?John 6-60-67 Jeremiah 5,21-23 Marriage is highly spiritual and very many who want to get married in the physical world are already married in the spiritual world and want to keep a dual marriage and this doesnt work and that is why there are so many delayed marriages and if eventually you escape the spiritual husband or wife and marry physically you find out that there is always instability and marital challenges.even the wife or husband will still be having sex in the dream with the spiritual husband or wife and be pretending and the husband will never know and vice versa even when they claim that they are born again and pastors and prophets can't teach this because they lack the unbelievable power of CHRIST to teach and withstand the consequenses at night just like pastors and prophets cannot teach divorce even though divorce is in the Bible and that's why it's not only to say I want to marry have you spiritually empowered yourself or been empowered by whoever is leading you to marry to chase the spiritual husband or wife away as The case may be? You must be told the truth&revelation that you have never heard before and when you hear why not spiritually check if you have the means but if you don't have the means to check ask questions from those who can tell you the truth for your own good AND for you to escape the judgement of JesusChrist that has comeback to revenge&judge human beings & the earlier you accept my truth&revelation the best for you because you know I am saying the truth but pride will never allow many to accept or even acknowledge what I say. This is authority of heaven speaking and mine is unbelievable and as usual I authorize who so ever on earth and beyond to investigate me and my source spiritually because that is where we dwell and we also told you that we own the NIGHT and those who are wise understand what it means to own the night# Behold The kingdom of Jesus Christ has come back to revenge and judge people and we spare no evil on the earth be you who so ever just try and see. So why not be wise and know that this truth&revelation is not ordinary and who can speak if God of Justice has not spoken and who can battle with God of justice? as usual human beings don't like truth but we must do the work of real JESUSCHRIST and the God of justice and the power that be of he that made the spiritual laws and not after falling you down in churches still you remain in your evil bondages and be pretending bornagain whereas you have no single power of Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ cant help you even after all your night vigils and fasting and program upon program and here we are you can never be subjected to those and you reign in unbelievable power that evil must fear you if you follow us THE LIGHT, THE MANTLE.the power that be and creator of heaven and earth ??Mathew 13,13-14

Lol I know i will see that "monitoring " stuff. If a man does'nt want to be monitored run for your life o...it means there is something he does'nt want you to find out.

EVILFOREST:
.
My Simple Advice....is
"If a LADY is not ready to respect a man no matter how stupid that man may be, then that lady is not ready for marriage".
....because sometimes some men can be repulsive, but it takes a lady whose higher centres are mouthwatering to take absolute control and restore normalcy.

I tell you respect is key in marriage and relationship. I part my way with a girl I date for 4yrs recently for lack of respect and appreciation.

One of those misorgynist threads that heap the cause of dysfunctional marriages on women without realizing that marriage is a 100/100 balance from both a man and his wife.


The Western convention of discarding a Madien name doesn't follow the African naming system.
Just because a woman is married doesn't mean her maiden name is useless or must be cut off.
A woman remains the daughter of her father even in marriage therefore most people that were in life before she married will still refer to her with her maiden name.
There are instances where you meet an old female friend from primary/secondary school and you call her by her maiden name without the addition of her husband's surname.
It is not mandatory that a woman must discard her Father's name and identity just because she is married. Even in her home town,she is still bears her father's name irrespective of her new marital name!
Some of these western conventions are not applicable to Africa.

KemjikaEme:
O[s]ne of those misorgynist threads that heap the cause of dysfunctional marriages on women without realizing that marriage is a 100/100 balance from both a man and his wife.[/s]
The Western convention of Madien name doesn't follow the African naming system.
Just because a woman is married doesn't mean her maiden name is useless or must be cut off.
A woman remains the daughter of her father even in marriage therefore most people that were in life before she married will still refer to her with her maiden name.
There are instances where you meet an old female friend from secondary school and you call her by her maiden name without the addition of her husband's surname.

Aunty we now know you can write Wole Soyinka type of English but biko please next time try to calm down,read and comprehend before making comments cos all you wrote corroborate my point.

First that point was actually referring to male friends of the lady WHO ARE AWARE that she is married calling her the maiden name PUBLICLY.

I don't know why many people are too hasty to lambast and counter a write up without first comprehending.

I guess I should really start ignoring some comments henceforth.

make sense

pweeryambre:
Somebody said women should do all those things because we are in the cruel world of men. This mindset is the reason the black race is still in the dark because they believe that women must suffer to make a happy home but its not. They forget that any relationship be it marriage or dating is meant to be enjoyed and not endured, so the efforts goes both ways... its as simple as that.

That statement about women must do all that because they are in a cruel world confirms that the Op has a very backward mentality. Sincerely pity anyone that pay attention to his twisted writeups.

pls just say we re slaves very straightforward so we shld take shit cuz we re preys even I refuse to be prey

Toks2008:


Aunty we now know you can write Wole Soyinka type of English but biko please next time try to calm down,read and comprehend before making comments cos all you wrote corroborate my point.

First that point was actually referring to male friends of the lady WHO ARE AWARE that she is married calling her the maiden name PUBLICLY.

I don't know why many people are too hasty to lambast and counter a write up without first comprehending.

I guess I should really start ignoring some comments henceforth.

Anybody from her past can use her maiden name. It doesn't change her status or destroy her marriage.

KemjikaEme:

Anybody from her past can use her maiden name. It doesn't change her status or destroy her marriage.

One great thing is that all my "misogynistic" threads will be here on naira land as long as the forum exist so people can always refer to them as reference.

When you get married or maybe you are please allow your male friends(that are aware you are married) call you by your maiden name...your life,your choice and the consequence is also yours to deal with. Good day.

So bum short would make you interesting?
Wow I never knew

doyinbaby:
don't be a boring woman when you eventually marry,.....wear that bump short babe

Toks2008:


One great thing is that all my "misogynistic" threads will be here on naira land as long as the forum exist so people can always refer to them as reference.

When you get married or maybe you are please allow your male friends(that are aware you are married) call you by your maiden name...your life,your choice and the consequence is also yours to deal with. Good day.

That you created a thread that made the front thread doesn't mean your opinion is right and shared by all and sundry.
Give people the space to submit their views and reviews without choking them with unnecessary mentions and replies(mostly myopic),it defects the purpose of the thread at the end of the day.
It's great that you acknowledge that it's largely 'misorgynist' and tilted to project women to be responsible for a dysfunctional union,not everyone subscribe to same opinion.
Past friends and colleagues referring to a woman with a maiden name is what's obtainable in reality because that's what they are familar with,it doesn't infer with the woman's marital status.
A father's name has never stopped a woman from achieving relative success in her marriage.

eyinjuege:


Thank goodness you said formal way.

But amongst informal gatherings, your first name would be more than appropriate. There are other informal relationships other than the one with your family members.
Even at work, first names suffice. A lot also depends on what you would like to be called, even in formal settings.

Not everyone likes to be called Mr/Mrs X but they would tell you to just call them by their first names.

What kind of informal gathering? We're talking about a proper, dignified way of addressing a married individual and you're hitting on informal gathering.

In an informal gathering of like-gender of course a married individual can be addressed by his/her first name or nickname. But across gender it is wrong and very suggestive.

Now you watch movies, I believe. What makes you think when a man has some romantic intentions towards a woman but the woman is so polite as to address the man as Mr/Sir, the man always would insist on "please call me John", for example?

He's simply setting the first blocks that errects an improper or romantic relationship. For married individuals it is vital within his/her office environment or any other gathering he/she is addressed properly in a way that his/her marital status is duely acknowledged by the opposite sex.

It doesn't matter how permissive our world has become and how many people swap good values for inferior fad in the spirit of feeling "modern", there're still people who look at uncomfortable truth in the eye and call it by its true name.

You have wisdom

Quinn22:
So bum short would make you interesting?
Wow I never knew

ok o....sha be sexy for your future hubby

I keep wondering why many married men ask their wives to remain at home as full-time house wife, taking care of the family, doing school run, babysitting and laundry despite the degrees the wives have obtained. Thereby increasing the financial burden on them. I'd rather open a business for her if there's no job to keep her brain and mind occupied.

Ur write up on "13 things" is a very good advise to ONLY those women who wish to run a home.Dont bother replying some dumb girls who feel on top of d world with foolish i dont care attitude.They learn d hard way just like my niece who after blowing away her marriage is now running to and from churches to find a home.All her wealth not withstanding she suddenly realised why God ordained marriage.OP u are a blessing to ur generation.A 9/10 is my score for you.Av been succesflly married since 1984 till date with lovey kids.U made a instructive readinh.
.

So where in d bible was a woman referred to as Mrs so so so ? Abraham's wive was Mrs Abraham?? David's wife was Mrs David?? nope. They were all referred to as their first names.The truth is a woman shouldn't be referred to as her maiden name after marriage but definitely her friends could call her by her first name. It just depends on d condition of things. U don't expect me to be in a friendly gathering with my male friends or female married friends and be referring them to as Mr so so or Mrs so so. I'll call them by their first names. In an official gathering or formal gathering its anoda case.

I agree with every other point
ladies u don't have to take it personally its a write up on females its just an advice so u either take it or leave it nobody is imposing anything on anybody and its not by force to read it either.

Omotayor123:
You should change your Topic to "Thirteen Awkward Things That Married Couple Do"

Don't stereotype by putting the Blame on Women Alone. Men needs to abide by those things too.
Your points are Very Okay but they should be both ways.

It's the duty & Responsibility of both partner to make the marriage work.

where did you leave your brain

num 9 and 10 are so on point.Never admitting to be wrong and of course looking dull and unattractive simply because they are married