Good morning beautiful ladies,

Sending love, kisses, and tight hugs to all facing challenges at the moment. I do not have much to offer in terms of words, but the song God placed on my heart for you all is "It is well with my soul". I have copied out the lyrics below; my prayer is that the words of this song will caress your souls and give you peace during this time; and no matter what never forget that God still loves you and is right beside you during this season:

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.

2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul.
(Refrain)

3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
(Refrain)

4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul.
(Refrain)

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Please how much are diapers oooo? Pampers, molfix and huggies and I just found out that like the way the numbers for Nigerian pampers are diff from imported pampers. Help oooo

@Benignasweety, I really do not know what to say, but I just wish I could give u a hug right now and sit quietly with you. Please be consoled by the love of Christ. He has never failed me when I was at my lowest. He gives strength and provides answers and a way of escape. Please rest on Him.

It is well. What women go through in our society....

You're in a pregnant women's forum so you're obviously in the wrong place for your questions. Tell or take your girlfriend to go to an actual qualified doctor to discuss her options. Nigerian doctors have all heard what she wants to do before and will either help her or direct her to their colleague that can do it. You wont find help here.

jreyez:
Hello everyone, I greet each and every one of you.

My girlfriend is about a month pregnant and she doesn't want the baby.
I know it's wrong and irresponsible.
Please I have made a research about getting rid of it.
And most people say D & C is very dangerous.
Please what do you guys recommend?

Doctors in the house please help?

Thank you.

@ vannessa7, God remains faithful. You said you suffered in Xristianity? How come?

I just tire o! I am so fed up hearing complaints about domestic violence especially on the part of the women. How can you know a man beats you before marriage and still go ahead and marry him? It's crazy! I don't understand all this women o! How can you not love yourself? No self esteem? You need to hold yourself high! Women, try get something doing (corporate or non-corporate) so you don't have to stay because you don't have money to take care of yourself and also using the kids as an excuse to endure battering. During my Masters programme, the hostel I stayed, a guy in 100level beats his girlfriend almost everyday. Then later the girl will say it's because he is still young that he would outgrow it someday. Smh! I advice tire, dem no dey hear. Their eyes usually opens when they almost experience death at the hands of their spouse/partner if not, dem no go ever commot. Even if it's just a slap, I will never take such. Na from clap e dey take enter dance. Today can be slap tomorrow will be punch. I hate domestic violence. Please women love yourself abeg! SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!

Prettyhurts:


Dear I'm not judging her but judging based on what she wrote, she got the swollen eye BEFORE MARRIAGE. How can you be inside a burning house, instead of escaping early to save your life, you carried your properties and entered the fire.

I believe she has parents, she should relocate to their house, even if the whole world reject her her parents won't.
Damsel21 please do as mummy beyedew said, pray from a distance cos they'll not allow you to pray peacefully in that house.

Sigh! This is not what one should read on a good day but then, it is what it is. A broken marriage is better than a broken life. My heart goes out to you and Damsel21. I hope and pray you strong women will be able to take charge of your lives and bounce back stronger than before.

Mamas, sisters and friends, now is the time to spread the message to our young and upcoming girls. Marriage is not an achievement. Do not pressure/let anybody pressure anyone into marriage. Dem no dey give award for who first marry and them no dey use the certificate collect money for bank. Use your waiting period to grow. Have fun, travel, write professional exams, move up in your career and when that man meant for you comes, he wont stunt on you neither will he try to hinder your growth.

On a last note, please, please and please have a source of income before you go into marriage. No matter how small it is and have a savings account aside that your husband does not know about! I'm all for full disclosure in marriage but as an attorney who has had to deal with some messy divorce cases, my motto is "Be Prepared". Anything can happen.

It is well with all of us, our babies and marriage in Jesus name.

Benignasweety:
My marriage to a baby has finally ended...

One thing I learnt, never tell your past to your betterhalf whether out of love or jex being plain truthful, it will hunt you oneday and hurt you must especially if you knew u did tell cuz u wanted to be plain and genuine.. Keep all your secrets to your heart, your heart wont hurt nor fail you...

I know some might have wondered why my hubby will come here and rain praises on me and all dat (I deserve it) yet I dont quote him nor acknowledge he did write anytin for me, well d reason is sure obvious now... He was jex seeking attention and d him online isnt d him to me and my Zion.

I refuse to cry though it hurts but FIL will say better thing no dey finish, if better tin finish, another more better thing emerges..
Soldier go, soldier come, barracks e no dey close!

IYAM SINGLE NOW! HE FLINGED HIS WEDDING BAND TO THE BUSH hmmmmm abeg my son needs me..

Benignasweety:
I hope for d best though I wldnt push it cuz pushing it makes me very pathetic.

Babe,you are beautiful inside out just be strong for your son,i follow your diary and I must be sincere with you..You are a superwoman,dont think less of yourself.God will restore your home.i will pray for you

reniduke:
@mbilz @yacaa for u too.
Giddy person has said almost everything. Lemme add that the hospital asked me to do a warm sitz bath and not steam which is what we yorubas do traditionally. So I read about steam before agreeing with my mom to try her way.
If you do Choose the warm sitz, then the water should be such that you can put your Behind inside without burning. And you should add more hot water to warm it up when cold. For steam, 10 minutes is good or once the steam is cool, stand up, no matter what dem mamas say. It have do .

At stitches loosening, i had tiny episiotomy cut and had more stitches inside the vg, and though mine was absorbable they didnt fall off due to steam. I confess im not sure if that will apply to everyone, plus i dont sit as long as my momsi would have liked (10-15 mins and only for one week) and depending on how severe your tears are, might be best to avoid steam entirely like giddy person says and do warm water. But babe if ure not torn, do steam biko.
That her advice on the poo makes plenty sense, unless ure like me and hate eating vegetable as medicine then buy stool softener like liquid paraffin (ask a pharmacist). Insist that you dont want a regular laxative or purgative, u want a stool softener. If you try too hard to pooo ull injure ur anus and cause haemorrhoid. You can also apply some baby oil on your anal opening to keep things easy there.
Unless uve been told ur baby is very big, then buy one pack of newborn diaper. Ps. Newborn in pampers is for lo less than 4kg. Size 1 is 4-i think 6kg so that should give u a clue. Ps. My madam is not yet 4kg but she can wear size 1 now. Dont buy too much of anything so you aren't looking for who to dash the remaining (not like that's a bad thing).
Breastfeeding, learn to latch your baby well, but its hardwork at the beginning. Watch videos online if they dont teach you at the hospital. Use a breast pump if you want to see what you actually produce in 30mins or 1hour. I felt so bad and understood why she was always hungry and ive been supplementing with formula since day 4. Howeever my intense (sleep killing, nipple aching) breastfeeding efforts on days 1-3 means My gal switches easily from breast to formula without forgetting her first and preferred love-bm. but she wont collect d bottle from me and gives me side eye 'like seriously woman, bring that breast out now now before i vex" so only my ma and husband can successfully feed her bottle.
If you dont do baby wipes, u will be washing their butt everytime with water and patting dry. Abeg too much work! It reminds me of the days of washing my junior ones cloth diapers.
Most importantly have someone around to help you or you will find yourself crying like your baby. It can be frustrating even with help. Last last, dont give up, learn ur baby's cry language and signs, will write about that later if im chanced. My boss is awake.
@giddyperson what is hp?

Thank you mama for this explicit one

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h

wholesomegrace:
@ vannessa7, God remains faithful. You said you suffered in Xristianity? How come?

like I said I'm not advocating any religion here, I still believe Christianity is good but not for me, sometimes when I sit down and remember how I suffered in Christianity I feel like crying non stop, serving God is a personal thing not a bandwagon thing, I find out things I used to suffer like witchcraft attack, foundation idol harassment, spirit husband, familiar spirit, incessant evil dreams are a thing of the past, they don't exist in Islam, I cannot begin to outline them all here but a heart full of love for your maker and willingness to follow divine leading is all God need from us not what seems like a good idea, our maker knows what befits each of His creatures because He knows us, my mom, younger sisters and elder brother are still Christians, my brother in law was a Moslem that converted to Christianity through revelation, this man I married is an Edo man and a former Pastor, he converted to Islam through series of powerful revelations and divine leading, now he is a comparative Muslim scholar comparing Islam to Christianity, he gets invited to preach at Islamic functions a lot and he has written a book, that person that said I will change to other religion in case of challenges, all I will say is to each person his own, Islam is not perfect just like Christianity is not, but I have read the Bible through several times and I'm reading Quran now, it's actually a continuation of the Bible. I will not say more than this here, get me on ella4ever@rocketmail.com if you need more explanation. I will not reply any other comment here because this platform is not for this, I was just trying to advise a sister.

Giddyperson:

Some people don't take it cuz it's not free and some hospitals that don't have it don't mention it but it's important, heard the rotavirus causes diarrhea and vomiting, just trying to spare my baby that if I can.

Got it at my hospital for 9k, you can mention your area here and mamas close to there would suggest hospitals around you that give it.

Thanks very much mama

vannessa7:


like I said I'm not advocating any religion here, I still believe Christianity is good but not for me, sometimes when I sit down and remember how I suffered in Christianity I feel like crying non stop, serving God is a personal thing not a bandwagon thing, I find out things I used to suffer like witchcraft attack, foundation idol harassment, spirit husband, familiar spirit, incessant evil dreams are a thing of the past, they don't exist in Islam, I cannot begin to outline them all here but a heart full of love for your maker and willingness to follow divine leading is all God need from us not what seems like a good idea, our maker knows what befits each of His creatures because He knows us, my mom, younger sisters and elder brother are still Christians, my brother in law was a Moslem that converted to Christianity through revelation, this man I married is an Edo man and a former Pastor, he converted to Islam through series of powerful revelations and divine leading, now he is a comparative Muslim scholar comparing Islam to Christianity, he gets invited to preach at Islamic functions a lot and he has written a book, that person that said I will change to other religion in case of challenges, all I will say is to each person his own, Islam is not perfect just like Christianity is not, but I have read the Bible through several times and I'm reading Quran now, it's actually a continuation of the Bible. I will not say more than this here, get me on ella4ever@rocketmail.com if you need more explanation. I will not reply any other comment here because this platform is not for this, I was just trying to advise a sister.

hmnn #deepsigh#, it is well with you sis is all I can say.
Life is tough, but God remains faithful.
This is preggy thread o, sorry to deviate, over to you joyful mothers

Rhemy2013:


Thanks very much mama

Forgot to mention that your lo would have to take it twice, first one at 6 weeks and again at 10 weeks

@Naomi14, thanks sisto. It is well

Abeg ,mothers in house. Please try not calling out any religion while giving advice. I thought we are on pregnancy thread. Mbok. Happy new week.

Benignasweety:
Nwannem, myself too have planned on leaving, jex dat Zizi is still too small to travel down d east with me. My case kwa na dat of battering too and yes dis mrning I was battered! chai... tinz we go tru praying he will change.., dey dont change at all, dey get worst!

Cant wait for month end to travel.

But I said we should talk na. Oya, don't throw your own ring away, my sister advised me I needed to keep my rings and sell them . Infact, find his ring, dust am. If it's gold, it will sell for a nice price (he has responsibilities o).
Are you still in the house? Has he left? Pm? My replies won't be too fast sha but let's see.

#Team November. Mbok do roll call for us cappo. Even if na two persons answer.
Cc:Anugod.

In as much as I don't support domestic violence . The first few years into marriage is difficult. Just don't let it denegerate to violence. Choose your battles wisely. I pray that our sisters in pain due to their spouse abuses,God will give us the wisdom and maturity required for specific situations,Amen.Lions can be tamed. Find the mumu button. It's well.

Onegai:


But I said we should talk na. Oya, don't throw your own ring away, my sister advised me I needed to keep my rings and sell them . Infact, find his ring, dust am. If it's gold, it will sell for a nice price (he has responsibilities o).
Are you still in the house? Has he left? Pm? My replies won't be too fast sha but let's see.

Lol I already sent a pm.

As for d ring, na cheap silver ring sha, datz d ring on my dp. He has lost d 1st one and I painstakingly bought another one, na em e fling o. so selling mine, who wan buy am sef.. He is still around, tormenting his ancestors, making his baes call and looking for who to beat but certainly not Benigna dix tym.

casler:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence . The first few years into marriage is difficult. Just don't let it denegerate to violence. Choose your battles wisely. I pray that our sisters in pain due to their spouse abuses,God will give us the wisdom and maturity required for specific situations,Amen.Lions can be tamed. Find the mumu button. It's well.

My dear, d mumu button will work wen d man in question is actually ready for marriage... not when he is still doing boobo for dem babes...

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Seriously really seriously not happy reading these bullshit here...God please take control and restore their homes back to our sisters.

Benignsweety n damsel21 its well.

Benignasweety:
Lol I already sent a pm.

As for d ring, na cheap silver ring sha, datz d ring on my dp. He has lost d 1st one and I painstakingly bought another one, na em e fling o. so selling mine, who wan buy am sef.. He is still around, tormenting his ancestors, making his baes call and looking for who to beat but certainly not Benigna dix tym.

My dear, I thought you stay with your PIL. No hope of intervention from that corner?
this is terrible..... and you just put to bed too. I remember your shinning hope for better things in future for your hubby especially.
What went so badly wrong and so quickly?

queenhecate:

My dear, I thought you stay with your PIL. No hope of reconciliation from that corner?
this is terrible..... and you just put to bed too. I remember your shinning hope for better things in future for your hubby especially.
What went so badly wrong and so quickly?
My dear, I thought you stay with your PIL. No hope of reconciliation from that corner?
this is terrible..... and you just put to bed too. I remember your shinning hope for better things in future for your hubby especially.
What went so badly wrong and so quickly?

Dear, no hope.. PIL don advice tire... no redemption but to allow him enjoy dat youthfulness shagging him and ofcuz I will have my liberty too...
I will be far gone wen his eyes will clear...

Benignasweety:
Dear, no hope.. PIL don advice tire... no redemption but to allow him enjoy dat youthfulness shagging him and ofcuz I will have my liberty too...
I will be far gone wen his eyes will clear...

please don't write more on social media. I know he reads your posts so as to not set him off again.
ahu gi akpobeghi akpo. mmadu emeruo GI ahu, biko nnem.
At the earliest ,time possible, leave that environment for a while till things cool down my sweetheart.
the Lord is your strength

Naomi14:
I just tire o! I am so fed up hearing complaints about domestic violence especially on the part of the women. How can you know a man beats you before marriage and still go ahead and marry him? It's crazy! I don't understand all this women o! How can you not love yourself? No self esteem? You need to hold yourself high! Women, try get something doing (corporate or non-corporate) so you don't have to stay because you don't have money to take care of yourself and also using the kids as an excuse to endure battering. During my Masters programme, the hostel I stayed, a guy in 100level beats his girlfriend almost everyday. Then later the girl will say it's because he is still young that he would outgrow it someday. Smh! I advice tire, dem no dey hear. Their eyes usually opens when they almost experience death at the hands of their spouse/partner if not, dem no go ever commot. Even if it's just a slap, I will never take such. Na from clap e dey take enter dance. Today can be slap tomorrow will be punch. I hate domestic violence. Please women love yourself abeg! SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!

Domestic violence is not as clear cut, as you make it sound, where emotions and psychology are involved, it is not so easy.
I used to think that certain types of women were pre-disposed to abuse but I have seen some of the strongest women i know suffer domestic violence/ abuse and you are left scratching your head as to how she got herself in that suituation.

No woman will get slapped by a man the first time she meets him and go out a sencond time, however by the time the abuse starts, he may have already been fulfilling some percieved deep seated need , and she may not even be aware that it is abuse as it sometimes start so subtly.

My prayer is for God's grace on anyone experiencing such to have the:

Strenght to RUN out of such a relationship, please you are not Jesus. You do not need to die for the sins of the world.

Courage to overcome any fear of the unknown.... please the devil you know is NOT better, as the devil you know will probably kill you.

Wisdom to know that YOU will NOT change a man! You can only pray for him, Jesus can perform miracles remotely, you do not have to be in close proximity of the slaps and insults for your prayers to be answered.

A deaf ear to what people will say even if they are your family! Your life and sanity is worth more than any gossip, if you leave some people will talk, if you stay, they will still talk, when you die, the talk will still continue, so who are you pleasing? And at whose detriment.

Also pray for helpers and support when you leave as it is not easy and alot of women stay due to the fear that they have no support system, (Half the time this is because they have been isolated over time by the man) some feel that they cannot now approach the people thay have shunned and maybe insulted because of the abusive man, please there is nothing to gain in suffering/ dying in silence.

This applies to both sexes suffering any abuse from the other party. Men too suffer

May God guide you all.

Benignasweety:
Dear, no hope.. PIL don advice tire... no redemption but to allow him enjoy dat youthfulness shagging him and ofcuz I will have my liberty too...
I will be far gone wen his eyes will clear...

I've been wanting to reach out to you for the longest even before your pregnancy but I've not been able to. I've some things I packaged for you but I didn't know how to ask for your contact...whenever you can mention me.

Hello Sis. You had a boy right? You stay in Lagos?.please pm me. Thanks.

Benignasweety:
My dear, d mumu button will work wen d man in question is actually ready for marriage... not when he is still doing boobo for dem babes...

I really don't know what to say than, once it gets to the point where the man beats, it's time to give him space. Avoid him like a plague.
Families too should stop sending their daughters back to abusive husbands, just to save face.

Women be financially independent. Do something no matter how small. Never depend solely on a man. Anything can happen. And like my sister always says, keep aside "vex money ". An amount only you are aware of, that you can use to move on if he gets violent or is making your life a living hell.
Also stop praising an abusive man, and pretending all is well. A man who beats you and maltreats you then you still go on social media to praise him. He will read it and think he is doing well by hitting u.
Pray from a distance. It is only someone who is alive that can pray.