The Sudden Uprise Of Single Ladies Above 28: Salvaging The Situation.

Hi all.

I'm not the kinda guy who narrates a menace with providing the solution.

I really don't give 'two rats' about the reasons why...

- Maybe she broke the heart of the son of a native doctor.
- Could it be she wasted away her prime years?
- Maybe, just maybe they stuck themselves to one guy with hopes of marriage but were later disappointed.

Look around you, there are everywhere, church, workplace, neighborhood, family etc.

Which is the way forward?

I believe it's high time we called a spade a spade and not an agricultural equipment.

The lashes fall on both genders, appropriately.

Let's observe some measures that can be taken to salvage this urgent matter;
(Forget those ladies forming, 'I don't need a man to feel fulfilled', I'm my own boss. It's deception + boldfacism. There's a scar inside.)

This thread is in Two Sections; Section A and B;

Section A - Guys :

A) Guys should start seeing ladies differently.

The average guy sees ladies as merely a *bleeping object*. With that kinda mental picture, how wan take marry? Ladies are delicate creatures of God to help you fulfil your purpose and theirs too (before feminists crucify me. )
Truth be told, very few of our ladies pose themselves as that object. Very few, I believe. Even at that, Guys, let's see ladies differently. This is a command.


B) Many Guys Don't Know What They Truly Want In A Girl

Why the make-up and break-up? It's all in this quote, "When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable."

The reason many girls are still single is because guys have refused to propose and that's also because they're still NOT sure if she's the one. If you don't see her marriageable, don't fool her with promises thus chasing other potential suitors, hence overcrowding the 'single ladies world.' I told one lady, I can't promise you I'm gonna marry you. Today, we're still friends. I buy you lunch doesn't mean I love you. Stop arriving at asinine conclusions. Stop reading meanings into my generosity. I'm different.


C) Money and Diamond isn't all a Wife-Material needs.

The saying goes, 'if she's in love with you just because you're rich, she ain't a wife material.'
True ladies abound who want to build a home with you and your 'wretched purse'. Look out for them. Don't generalize that all girls are after the cash. Nada! That's archaic and shameful. There is more to marriage. Don't go for the uneducated girls just because you feel you can't 'afford' the educated and retty model who read Medicine. Why must you think poor before you 'die'? Infact, those other ones are not the solution. Your thinking is.
If I see what I want in any lady, your social status in inconsequential. Highest, you turn me down which all guys are used to, lol. Every setback is a setup for a superfluous comeback.



Section B (Ladies)

A) 'Clock is Ticking' ain't a delusional phrase but an obvious reality.

Many ladies don't really know that there is time for everything. Abeg open Eccl.3:1-13 and read biko. You're 21 and counting how many guys you've 'chopped' and didn't 'chop' you back. That phase of life is very brief. Birthday party after birthday parry and you are already close to 30 and your fleshy flesh ain't as inviting as they used to be. Those guys you friendzoned are now married with kids while you are there confessing, "My time is coming." Hello, wake up and smell the coffee, it's a bit cold now. Stop being repulsive and irritating when guys approach you today. Be nice and courteous. I remember LADY X who happily gave me her number, only for me to call days later and she starts forming, "call me later, I'm busy." I was like, who taught you this did a pretty awful job. So harrowing. Number Deleted, Life goes on!

Ladies, be nice to guys today. It's one of them that might marry you or recommend you to your *superman*. You mustn't stay single till 30 to learn this.


B) Having an inaccurate measurement of a successful spouse.

How do you measure a successful guy? Must he have a car? Good and fine, if he has. That's still not the yardstick.
Was once eyeing a lady when I asked about her, someone told me her REQUIREMENT. I retraced my steps. I'll be there soon, yea. Almost all the guys who asked for her hand are happily married. Do ladies have different privy parts Haba! Ladies, measure success by his dreams, prospect and daily efforts. How many ladies saw greatness in Mark Zuckerberg in Harvard dormitory? Only one gentle-looking, purpose-driven Priscilla Xang. Where were all the 'runs girls'? I'm discouraging the reason ladies wait endlessly for "Mr Right".
They look towards successful failures. They look at liabilities and demean assets. If you want to be a 'mummy' in church tomorrow, marry a pastor. Don't marry a bouncer that you would start dragging to church and forcing him to open a ministry. #yeye


C). "I DON'T CARE" attitude.

Lols, I told her, 'walk like a lady at times na. Not walking like a soldier heading for Sambisa"
She literally interrupted me with, "Any man that doesn't like the way I walk should go to *****." Okay o. I went away also. The truth is, if you don't kinda do the unusual, you might not get the unusual. Step out. Break out. Be rightly positioned. How can a guy love you for who you are? When you can't cook common egusi soup well, you aren't domesticated. You lack manners. On top all, you now joined them feminist- claiming right with you 'olowoorimi'. Who are you and what can you give him that he can't get elsewhere. Eish! He can get s*x outside from younger girls.
Get prepared! I-don't-care might be the reason no one cares about you but keep hurting you emotionally, year in, year out! Change!


Do you know? The world population is about 7.7billion and roughly 22% are young unmarried ladies. That means over 1.5 billion ladies are still single. Don't allow Amarachi do shakara for you jare!

SUMMARY; There are no general reasons why guys and ladies stay so late before choosing someone. Different strokes for different folks. If you have to go spiritual, it's okay. Shiloh 2017 is around the corner again. Meanwhile, make the work easy for God by applying any of these. Good morning.

IamKashyBaby:


Aha...well, some of us that are still single, simply bcoz we dont go down with all the BS some men will bring on the table...

Some of us are busy chasing our own dreams..dream to be a selfmade woman..

And some of us, juz dont believe in marriage as a true happiness..Marriage is NOT for everyone anyway..

how long will it take you to be a self made woman biko?

Nice thread emusmith. Well balanced... I love all your topics

Well I don't scorn them. And I think the major cause is d economy.

Unlike before when unemployment wasn't as much as this and the cost of living wasn't expensive, marrying a wife wasn't burdensome. Now, the case is different...a graduate man underemployed for 8yrs after school would always be scared of marriage.

The ladies themselves aren't helping matters. The days of "my husband is financially responsible for all my needs including pants" is gone. Its not about eating up ur Hubby's money again but about adding up to him which they were created to do in d first place...as helpmeets

For example if you're going out together and the journey cost 10k, if he provides 7k, then you as a lady shd help with d remaining 3k. And not expecting him to always drop everything all because he's d man.

In other words, ladies too shd have a job no matter how little and the essence of the job is not to just replenish her purse while she keep saying "its his responsibility to provide not mine"...but rather to support him. The earlier a lady understands this, the better.

This is funny especially your point A.

Guy, it is difficult to see women differently because majority of them intentionally portray themselves the way we see them.

Literally, you're saying that when I see a woman clad in the attire of a LovePeddler I should see her like God fearing lady because there are too many unmarried women out there? "

Bleep them all.

A lady who is serious about marriage will prepare herself for marriage and will marry, likewise guys.

The rest are gifts to enjoy while waiting for the one.

dingbang:
Nice thread emusmith. Well balanced... I love all your topics

Thanks bro

RadicallyBlunt:
Well I don't scorn them. And I think the major cause is d economy.

Unlike before when unemployment wasn't as much as this and the cost of living wasn't expensive, marrying a wife wasn't burdensome. Now, the case is different...a graduate man underemployed for 8yrs after school would always be scared of marriage.

The ladies themselves aren't helping matters. The days of "my husband is financially responsible for all my needs including pants" is gone. Its not about eating up ur Hubby's money again but about adding up to him which they were created to do in d first place...as helpmeets

For example if you're going out together and the journey cost 10k, if he provides 7k, then you as a lady shd help with d remaining 3k. And not expecting him to drop everything all because he's d man.

In other words, ladies too shd have a job no matter how little and the essence of the job is not to just replenish her purse while she keep saying "its his responsibility to provide not mine"...but rather to support him. The earlier a lady understands this, the better.

Powerful point!

Kondomatic:
This is funny especially your point A.

Guy, it is difficult to see women differently because majority of them intentionally portray themselves the way we see them.

Literally, you're saying that when I see a woman clad in the attire of a LovePeddler I should see her like God fearing lady because there are too many unmarried women out there? "

Bleep them all.

A lady who is serious about marriage will prepare herself for marriage and will marry, likewise guys.

The rest are gifts to enjoy while waiting for the one.

Seeing them differently has a lot of other benefits.

Nice points op

IamKashyBaby:


Aha...well, some of us that are still single, simply bcoz we dont go down with all the BS some men will bring on the table...

Some of us are busy chasing our own dreams..dream to be a selfmade woman..

And some of us, juz dont believe in marriage as a true happiness..Marriage is NOT for everyone anyway..

So you don't believe in marriage enh?

TIPS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP.
Realize you must go through several stages of a relationship. In the beginning of dating realize that you are not looking for your “soul mate”, you are looking for someone whose company you enjoy and who enjoys your company.
"Winning the man, not the argument": in any relationship, disagreements will occur. However the key to resolving issues is not only to talk these through but also to discuss all issues effectively. Never bring up previously unresolved issues; they are in the past and that is where they should be left. Never discuss issues with your partner if you haven't resolved this emotionally with your self first. If thinking about an issue makes you feel upset or angry, then do not bring this up with your partner. If you do, there is a chance that your emotions will get the better of you, you will not be thinking or communicating clearly if this happens which can lead to an argument. Discuss things objectively and think with an open mind. If you want him to understand you, you must be willing to understand and listen to him, too. THINK ABOUT IT AND ACT Accordingly.

hatbricker:
Nice points op

Thanks brada!

For me singles girls above 28 fall into two categories, the ones who circumstances made them single(I do feel for them) and the other category are girls who caused it themselves with the lives they choose to live.
Just imagine the new rave of slay queens(dignified prostitutes)who mostly fall in the age bracket of 21 - 26 who live superficial lives not being married by 28 how do you help such ladies?

Olalan:
For me singles girls above 28 fall into two categories, the ones who circumstances made them single(I do feel for them) and the other category are girls who caused it themselves with the lives they choose to live.
Just imagine the new rave of slay queens(dignified prostitutes)who mostly fall in the age bracket of 21 - 26 who live superficial lives not being married by 28 how do you help such ladies?

You are speaking my mind. Slayqueen is now the order of the day. Even a primary 5 child will tell you, 'I'm slaying on this dress' wth

IamKashyBaby:


Aha...well, some of us that are still single, simply bcoz we dont go down with all the BS some men will bring on the table...

Some of us are busy chasing our own dreams..dream to be a selfmade woman..

And some of us, juz dont believe in marriage as a true happiness..Marriage is NOT for everyone anyway..

Oh, so you all know it takes sometime to be self made. Yet you can't be patient for a man to grow, rather you want him instantly rich as if na noodles.. .#sheerdeceit

Nice one OP.
Simply put, they arent ready for marrige, when they are they will come back and beg for your advise.

Just be patient.

3 reasons why ladies remain single for a very long time...




At their primes they were too picky/choosy



At their primes they were busy playing hard to get


At their primes they were living in the fantasy of he must be rich, tall and handsome




Funniest part of it all is, most of them end up decieving themselves into remaining single for life...i know of one like that, so, i have no pity for them

Live reckless and flexful life in lagos
Get tired cus she's getting off age
Relocate to abj nd stay with a friend or relative
Living a new life cus she needs a (rich) hubby
It clicks.. HML!

She lives happily/or not ever after

This is the new black, nd a pity.

sshola:


Oh, so you all know it takes sometime to be self made. Yet you can't be patient for a man to grow, rather you want him instantly rich as if na noodles.. .#sheerdeceit

It pays to be financially independent before getting married.

Tahrah:
It pays to be financially independent before getting married.

I concur!

tosyne2much:
Emusmity, this write-up is well researched and articulated

I think the reason why most ladies end up in late marriage is because they live in fantasies and view marriage from a myopic view. That is to say that they discard men for ridiculous reasons just to satisfy their fantasies

Another thing that chases men away from ladies is "accept me for who I am" attitude. Most of these ladies don't really work on their attitudes but are only concerned about how to look better than other ladies. The truth of the matter is that there is no perfect lady anywhere, but lady who doesn't want to be controlled by a man will surely ended up chasing men away

Bro, you are so right.

One once said, the guy that must date me must first give me a car on my birthday. You carry fire for head? Or you possess the latest version of privy parts?

E tire me

emusmithy:


Bro, you are so right.

One once said, the guy that must date me must first give me a car on my birthday. You carry fire for head? Or you possess the latest version of privy parts?

E tire me

Even with the attitudes some of them display on social media, you will begin to shake your head for the unfortunate man that will marry them

99% of what is stopping guys from marrying most of them is because of their wrong Attitude and Bad Character.
.
Some of them are ruled completely by their emotions 100%, using Make-ups and Fashion to cover their Real sense of reasoning...
.
The painful part is that majority of them this days offer their Puna too quickly... Making themselves too cheap for guys!

tosyne2much:
Emusmity, this write-up is well researched and articulated

I think the reason why most ladies end up in late marriage is because they live in fantasies and view marriage from a myopic view. That is to say that they discard men for ridiculous reasons just to satisfy their fantasies

Another thing that chases men away from ladies is "accept me for who I am" attitude. Most of these ladies don't really work on their attitudes but are only concerned about how to look better than other ladies. The truth of the matter is that there is no perfect lady anywhere, but any lady who doesn't want to subject herself under the control a man will surely end up chasing men away.

U're right bro. No man in his right senses would accept nonsense for what it is, when they finally realise this it becomes too late. I had a 33yr old beautiful lady I was with sometime ago when I got closer and more intimate with her I perfectly understood y she remained unmarried at 33.

A vast majority of them have nauseating attitudes and they'd still stand on their horses claiming rights. It's so appalling, if a woman is marriage worthy my brother she won't be single at all. That's the truth.

Doctorfitz:





U're right bro. No man in his right senses would accept nonsense for what it is, when they finally realise this it becomes too late. I had a 33yr old beautiful lady I was with sometime ago when I got closer and more intimate with her I perfectly understood y she remained unmarried at 33.

I used to pity ladies who can't find male suitors each time they parade Shilo and vigil, but now, I no longer have a pinch of pity for them. When you get close to some of them and engage them into conversations, then you will get to know the reason why men don't take them serious