Hi romancelanders, this is actually my first time of posting on nland and its not a framed topic based on film or anything. Its what am passing through presently. Pls don't mind my grammars as I am in need of matured advise. Thanks.
My story goes thus;
I have a relationship of almost 4 years now in which I made sure I remain faithful to my gf all through (no involvement whatsoever with any other lady) and things were going on fine with us, although, we do quarrel (which I considered to be normal) but we do resolve our differences.
The problem started in May when I forgot her birthday. It wasn't my fault and she knew about what i was facing then, my mum was hospitalized then nd her condition wasn't improving. She started giving all sort of attitudes in which i tried talking to her about it.
To cut d story short, i noticed she has started seeing anoda guy. Lo and behold, she's seeing a guy she had earlier introduced to me as a distant relative. I asked her about it and she didn't deny it.

To be continued.

I was heart broken but before I could utter any statement, she has started crying. I asked for her reasons for doing such after all d tyms we have been together but she couldn't give me a reasonable answer and I was forced to say am done with her. Although she claimed to just meet the guy after her birthday and they haven't have anything together, not even a hug, not to talk of s*x but I don't believe her and I don't want to be involved with her anymore but she has started to involve her family and mine (both her parents & mine and close family already knows about us) and friends. Just yesterday afternoon, her mum called that she want to see me and I know its about her. She has involved my mum too.

Where I need nlander is this; why did she involve in it when she knew its bad? To forgive isn't the problem but to forget coz dt the highest height of betrayal and deceit.
Is it advisable for me to continue the r'tnship or quit coz I cant stand a cheating partner.
AM SORRY FOR D LONG STORY. MATURE MINDS NEEDED.

If you didn't want her back, you wouldn't have opened this thread, and instead would have just laughed at this mad woman while blocking her foolish self from ever contacting you... Sadly, this isn't the case And therefore may you guys enjoy each other

Op I know say love is blind and in your present situation, its difficult for you to think straight but pls no take decision you go regret for the rest of your life.

No be for this nairaland we dey read of 8yrs relationship without betrayal and even ends in marriage. She don show you her true color within four years.

Ppl say "a woman does not belong to one man" Na him you experience so. Even if dem no follow another man go, them go compare you with another man and give you attitude.

Leave her alone make she jump to the third man..lol she even try only 2 men in 4 yrs. You never see self-acclaimed wife material weh don test run 8men in 3 yrs and calls it love. You will see your own woman, God just use her matter teach you lesson...na dem plenty for outside now including church and mosque and good wife no be by religion.

Avoid being alone to avoid the thoughts of heartbrk. God go help you.

CertifiedGee:
I was heart broken but before I could utter any statement, she has started crying. I asked for her reasons for doing such after all d tyms we have been together but she couldn't give me a reasonable answer and I was forced to say am done with her. Although she claimed to just meet the guy after her birthday and they haven't have anything together, not even a hug, not to talk of s*x but I don't believe her and I don't want to be involved with her anymore but she has started to involve her family and mine (both her parents & mine and close family already knows about us) and friends. Just yesterday afternoon, her mum called that she want to see me and I know its about her. She has involved my mum too.

Where I need nlander is this; why did she involve in it when she knew its bad? To forgive isn't the problem but to forget coz dt the highest height of betrayal and deceit.
Is it advisable for me to continue the r'tnship or quit coz I cant stand a cheating partner.
AM SORRY FOR D LONG STORY. MATURE MINDS NEEDED.

dnt tke her back

MrBrownJay1:
If you didn't want her back, you wouldn't have opened this thread, and instead would have just laughed at this mad woman while blocking her foolish self from ever contacting you... Sadly, this isn't the case And therefore may you guys enjoy each other

The op said mature advise bros. This isn't mature. A guy in his situation needs u to give reasons why he should follow ur advise.

Sometimes its not easy to think straight when betrayed.

In All Indications...


You Shouldn't Take Her Back,

She Even Said "I Haven't Hugged or even Had Se_x with Him"

Moving On Is Great Right Now.

MrBrownJay1:
If you didn't want her back, you wouldn't have opened this thread, and instead would have just laughed at this mad woman while blocking her foolish self from ever contacting you... Sadly, this isn't the case And therefore may you guys enjoy each other

She's trying to coerce him back into the relationship by involving his and her parents.

This is one reason I ALWAYS keep families out of my relationships until we're ready to marry. I know how easy it is to manipulate people by involving family members.

Guy quit, She's not yours, simple!
The people talking to you on her behalf won't be there when you finally make her your wife and she becomes...

OP, that girl is a shameless liar! Please don't believe anything that she tells you again.

One way to know that a woman is a terrible cheat and liar in a relationship is that she tells you that a guy is her relative, meanwhile they are actually lovers.

Do not, I repeat, do not trust any woman who dares to tell that kinda lie to you.

As for her mum, when you go to see her, narrate everything to her and make it explicitly clear to her that no matter what she says, it is over between you and her daughter.

Please next time keep families out of your relationships until you're about to marry her. Families have great manipulative influence on people. Any girl you're dating who is known to and deeply accepted by your family has already gotten one of the mumu buttons. She CAN easily play psychological games using your family and hers as tools. You WILL feel trapped in the relationship because she will involve families once you dare to pull out.

Trust me, by the time her mum has finished with you, if you're not strong enough, you would have forgotten why you ever broke up with her. That's how the mind works. That's the power of families in relationships. It is a simple but very powerful trap.

Me jus dey always tire when it comes to all this relationship matter

A girlfriend that cares more about her birthday than your mum's health isn't worthy of a wedding ring no matter the amount of crocodile tears she sheds.

Bro, note that I carefully ignored her cheating part. A faithful lady in the world today is the one whose secrets aren't yet open.

Lol d way wey girls dey take lie eh

Having a girlfriend now ehn
It's Just like a burden

Are you not a man?....so what if she involves buhari,Putin and trump?...take a stand and move on..stop been a sissy!!!!!....forgive her and say you are not interested, I don't get all this family ish,are you a baby?....you deserve better!!!!!..

she tried to move on to better things, it failed and now she's backtracking, she's gonn settle with you.

SirJeffry:

Bro, note that I carefully ignored her cheating part. A faithful lady in the world today is the one whose secrets aren't yet open.

Here is a man who understands that there's no saint in the 'world'. A man with a conscience that is alive.

Funny thing is: Those condemning the said woman are probably those that do even worse things. Hypocrites!

I'm concerned about her priorities, your mom was sick and he problem was birthday wishes? Is she okay at all?

I will tell you the truth as a lady. Your gf nursed some attraction for that guy, whatever happened wasn't entirely a mistake. The fact that she said he is a distant relative confirms this. That's her way of taking your mind off him, she could have even said it's her cousin if not that you know her family.

The decision to forgive is yours. Only forgive if you're sure you wouldn't keep using it against her. No one truly forgets.

...and pls, what kind of relationship is this that family members are chooking mouth, when it's not that you guys have gotten to about to marry stage? Watch it! They won't stop chooking mouth if you marry her.

ikp120:
She's trying to coerce him back into the relationship by involving his and her parents.

This is one reason I ALWAYS keep families out of my relationships until we're ready to marry. I know how easy it is to manipulate people by involving family members.

She can even involve the FBI if she desires, but as a responsible mature being, there is NO reason why A) loving parents would force their child to date or marry a deceitful cheating woman, and B) a man who lost interest/desire for a cheating partner should ever go back to her

RadicallyBlunt:

The op said mature advise bros. This isn't mature. A guy in his situation needs u to give reasons why he should follow ur advise.

Sometimes its not easy to think straight when betrayed.

Sadly, any advice given will be a waste of time, as his mind (and self esteem) has already been corrupted, this he won't listen. This man will only learn the HARD WAY.

Baba dump her sorry ass. and as people have said, don't involve family in your relationship again. remember..once a cheat is always a cheat, how? you may have forgiven her, but the memory will still be there, unless she has some good in her that she can use to suppress that memory.

Fling the self centered b!tch to the curb pls.

Enough said above. Ball in ya Court @op

What she did is wrong,

What she did was wrong but we already know that. Now to answer your question

Yeah you should forgive her

Even though you can not truly Forget.

Reason been the fact that everybody screw up at some point.

But the main reason Y I think u should give her another chance is the fact that he will respect you more now. Knowing now that you are better than some of the guys that make her feels like they can do better.

Try never to use it against her.
And if it will make you feel any better, bleep someone B4 you get back with her.

Someone once told me that Devil you have known a long time is better than iscoming Angel.

In life we all regret what we don't do way more than what we do!