I just discovered my fiancee has been cheating on me. I discovered the chats she had with a married elderly man ,she initially denied it but she confessed after I showed her the evidence i had. We have been dating for six years and we did our intro early this year. We have picked the date of our wedding which is in few weeks time. People have been invited.

Her relationship with this elderly man didn't start now, she made me to understand that it has been going on for years. Now she has been begging me to forgive her and not put her to shame because PEOPLE are already looking forward to our wedding day.

Wedding preparations already in place. Infact preparations already 80% done. I'm really in a state of confusion right now because I don't know if I should go ahead with the wedding out of pity. And I am also scared that if I marry her out of pity, I might not love her the way I should as the thought of her being unfaithful over the years will never leave my head And how am I sure she's not cheating with more than one man?

Pls nairalanders, matured advice needed at this time.

Run! Marriage is not a child's play

Omo see this guy o.....wake up you are on a long thing or continue dreaming and watch some guys bang ur wife later..

Run for your happiness is not negotiable..

Marvel1206:
Run! Marriage is not a childs play

Wedding preparations already done. Hall booked, cloths bought, both families already preparing, what will people say? How will she move ahead if I leave her?

Please flee, God just did you a great favour to expose what is happening, come to think of it, what If you did not catch her, what is the probability that they will not continue after the wedding ceremony, there's every posibility that somebody will sleep with ur newly wedded wife two weeks to one month after wedding without you knowing, and there's also the possibility of you "fathering" another person's child, to even think she's doing it with a married man is more disgusting, please leave her and thank God for showing you such rare love of exposing what millions have not been able to see till date.

lol. please forgive and forget her. women love to eat their cakes and yet have it. but note this there are alot of rubbish women littered everywhere who will still do same to you once you attempt to date her for six years.

has this one been a good woman in other aspects? has she shown good wifely and motherly attributes ? if the answer to that question is yes. then (I can't believe I am saying this rubbish) forgive her and don't forget her.

she is now in your debt by your catching her, but note that a cheater will always find ways to return to their hobby. so if you go along be careful to ensure she doesn't outsmart or continue in her lying ways.

Just for sake of marriage if two people are together then its a disaster.rather than coming here go to your parents and talk to them they will guide u better and take decisions. Infact talk to your mother shes a woman and can think from womans point of view.
For my opinion run for ur life this lady will ruin ur peace of mind imagine after marriage u at work and wht goes in your mind is if my wife is at home or with some elderly married man getting toasted

listenersky:

Wedding preparations already done. Hall booked, cloths bought, both families already preparing, what will people say? How will she move ahead if I leave her?

Should that be the issue? You should be thankful you dodged an incoming cannon. This is someone who had no regard for you, dating an elderly man while lying to you all these years. Trust me, the last thing you want to do is embark on a pity marriage. She should move on how she likes, it's her own doing.

I see you dying of rat poison in a few months after marriage
.
.

Just quietly call it off bro

Except you want to gamble with your marriage because she has been dating this man for years, you discovered and still married her, a wicked woman will continue seeing the married man, what will you say after that?
She may also break it off with THAT man but what if another comes or there are others you don't know of?
She might also change for good too, seeing you covered her shame n all. You know her better, do you think its worth it?

If you decide to marry her, biko it should not b bcs h pity her, let it be that you have faith in her and still love her, she will b sensitive to your behaviour if you do and trust women to be the one to scream victim first. If you marry her, don't tell this to any family member, your family will never forgive her, her family will call all the elders to placate you, the focus will shift from her to you, if you must, tell a neutral party.

You sef need a change of environment if albeit temporary, just travel sometime close to the proposed wedding date.
If you choose to leave, don't expose her secret either, just walk away.
Of course you need to explain, give a sound reason and stand your ground, but never disgrace her.

All is well

Guy for your Information you don't get to marry a woman out of pity... that is the strong secret of happy marriage.

Guy think if you don't want to sign your death warrant at the registry and you will call it wedding certificate

listenersky:

Wedding preparations already done. Hall booked, cloths bought, both families already preparing, what will people say? How will she move ahead if I leave her?

I don't know if these people will suffer with you later.

listenersky:

Wedding preparations already done. Hall booked, cloths bought, both families already preparing, what will people say? How will she move ahead if I leave her?

No one will care to hear your story later when you're married. You should really be grateful you didn't get to know about this after marriage. You gat no choice bro, it is really for your sake.

Some ladies tho, u have a guy who's responsible, Who loves u, who's docused and even planning the future with u, still u have been sharing what should have been his alone with one old pot-bellied id1ot.

Believe me, stories like this on nairaland have been the reason y I find it so hard to trust any lady.

They come in angelic packages but the inside is full of shit.

Guy, if I were u, I'll not go ahead with the marriage, the people u are considering won't live with u after d wedding, they won't be there for u when the problem starts. Ur happiness should be ur priority, I doubt if u will ever have a stable marriage with her, u can forgive but can u forget? Forgiving her doesnt mean u must marry her. She lied for.years, she probably did more than what u saw

DO NOT MARRY HER!!! Run for ur happiness

How can you give what you lack?

You obviously do not pity yourself.

How can you now marry her out of pity?

Fabulocity:
Forgive her. To err is human... Can you swear that you've never cheated on her or is it because you've never been caught? If you truly love her, forgive her and go ahead with the wedding. She probably was with the old man for money so increase your hustle so you won't temp her to cheat again

Sisto, habatically. ahn ahn na.... Is her hand paining her ni? Is the only way to get money by spreading leg upandan? Shey she cannot work legitimately for money she wants to spend? If a woman is not content with what she has now, do you think when she has more she will be content?

No nah...

It's a tricky and sticky quagmire to be in! Ultimately only you can decide for yourself

Ponder on these though- if the reverse were the case would you expect her to forgive and move past the incident?

Are you one to be vindictive or to keep referring to "sins" like this?

Why did she say she dated the man? For love or financial gratification?

Do you still love her despite this?

Is she a good person who's been caught in a bad spot/situation?

Is it a case of multiple philandering?

When you can answer perhaps you'd be able to move forward or not!

First things first. Do a full medical checkup.

listenersky:

Wedding preparations already done. Hall booked, cloths bought, both families already preparing, what will people say? How will she move ahead if I leave her?

Forget all those things. The feelings will never depart from you if you marry her out of pity. Better quit the marriage preparation.I know of a man who got married and the next day filed for divorce because the wife didn't have a womb. The wife told him on the very night after the wedding. The man has already married another woman with 4 kids already, had it been he didn't divorce,he would be living in regret by now. Shit happens and anything you do people gonna talk.
A stitch in time saves nine

Better is a failed relationship/courtship than a failed marriage. Will you like to be addressed as 'divorcee' in future? Whatever you can't change before wedding will get worse after wedding.

Decision is yours bro.

Now she has been begging me to forgive her and not put her to shame because PEOPLE are already looking forward to our wedding day. Wedding preparations already in place. In fact preparations already 80% done.

Why didn't she think about this before now?

The fact that she still maintained the relationship with the other man suggests that your relationship with her wasn't that important to her.

yes, goan dig your own grave

yes o , go ahead until she gives you another man pickin to train b4 yur eye go clear...

Our supreme leader must hear of this

Hmm

oya kiss ur bride.. uuuunnnween

Hmmmmm

Forgive her ok, is a one time thing. You know is not easy to start eating one particular food for the rest of your life.

Is scary. But forgive her.

In another news, a 42 years old woman wants to be remembered for having the world's biggest hips.

Her hips will leave you speechless

check-it-out @ http://www.exlinklodge.com/2017/07/i-want-to-be-remembered-for-having.html

listenersky:

Wedding preparations already done. Hall booked, cloths bought, both families already preparing, what will people say? How will she move ahead if I leave her?

how does she move ahead to call a marriage man when wedding preparation is at 80%

marry out of pity?

ok na.....if the old man agrees to hand her over to you officially on the wedding day with a G wagon otherwise you forget it!

a dis-engagement is better than a divorce!!!

And what do you want in exchange, her loyalty?

It is better to treat her fu*k up ones and for all else she won't learn.

listenersky:
I just discovered my fiancee has been cheating on me. I discovered the chats she had with a married elderly man ,she initially denied it but she confessed after I showed her the evidence i had. We have been dating for six years and we did our intro early this year. We have picked the date of our wedding which is in few weeks time. People have been invited.

Her relationship with this elderly man didn't start now, she made me to understand that it has been going on for years. Now she has been begging me to forgive her and not put her to shame because PEOPLE are already looking forward to our wedding day.

Wedding preparations already in place. Infact preparations already 80% done. I'm really in a state of confusion right now because I don't know if I should go ahead with the wedding out of pity. And I am also scared that if I marry her out of pity, I might not love her the way I should as the thought of her being unfaithful over the years will never leave my head And how am I sure she's not cheating with more than one man?

Pls nairalanders, matured advice needed at this time.

.. you don't marry out of pity.. Pity won't make u trust her when y'll get married... It won't help in anyway if u feel u don't trust her.. Nd u hv lost interest simply tell her and call off the wedding than spend the rest of your life in toture

It's okay,

Afterall God gave you a brain out of pity...

Don't ever marry out of pity.. I swear u will regret it forever..