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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. (3551 Views)
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Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 4:01pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
OK guys let's talk about this issue a bit, Now as an individual, I find it really beyond my mental understanding as to why someone would hold on to a hurt that happened in the past for so donkey long, spanning over a reasonable number of years Now I understand that such hurt could be devastating, probably a torturing break-up that left your heart in shambles or even something more sinister than that. Now I know this might be controversial as most people wouldn't want to agree with my topic saying it is gender specific, **as any of the gender could be hurt and **find it hard to let go. Now in as much as I would agree with the Asterisk first line, I think the latter is quite understandable. Why you may ask? Experience have showed me that ladies find it tougher letting go of past hurt than guys would. As a guy, and as most guys here would certainly agree with, guys don't really pay much details to ill feelings, You offend your friend, you sincerely apologize and the next moment, you guys are cool as the famous Tom and Jerry carton character. Lol. But its pretty tougher for the ladies, and so I ask why is this so? Is it because they are more emotional in nature and act by the dictates of such emotions, be it love, anger or hate!! etc. Even if this is true, I still can't decipher enough reasons as why one would keep a grudge so terribly long... If you feel due to the hurt you can no be friends with the person, why don't you just let it go and be free especially when the person have sincerely apologize for his mistakes! I mean you guys were once lovers, or friends. You could still be cool with each other and still lead your different lives. There's so much to look forward to in the future than whining over a past hurt that should have long been buried 6ft below. Letting go is a sure way of being free and forgiveness isn't something we just do for others but for ourselves too, because when we forgive, we let go and truly attain peace. |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Ermacc: 4:04pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
That is because men are more stressed mentally than women. the thought of other things erases the memories of hurt faster. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 4:05pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
IamZod:gossip don deh hungry you abii |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 4:06pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
sekxy:Lol. Not really. But what's your view on this. I like to be enlightened |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 4:11pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
IamZod:as you said it's nature. but it doesn't really exist on my part..may be it also depends on individual differences, ,cos av got male friends that behave like women in terms of holding onto things for long |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 4:17pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Ermacc:Interesting. If this is true, don't you think there are ladies who are as mentally stressed as men, probably due to the nature of their work or career. can it be then said that this set of ladies would easily forgive a hurt and let it go? |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Lalas247(f): 4:29pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
It's easy for guys to say this Since they are the ones doing most of the hurting ... yes guys can be very insensitive E.g you meet a girl she tells u her past ( ex's) and then you do the exact same thing .. lol the hurt is greater than the first guy seff Speaking for myself .. I think I'm pretty forgiving the only time I never let go if it's got to 3 counts of fuckery even if I forgive just know it will never be the same .. ( but that hurt will be a constant reminder no to Bleep with such fuckery ) most women in general never forget things Guys tend to brush it over .. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Splinz(m): 5:03pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
By general assumption, women are the weaker vessels (in fact, God said so too) and this fragility span both the physical & emotional side of their lives. As rightly observed by you, this nature seems to make them more vulnerable to heartbreak & betrayal. Also, the longer time it takes to heal their wounds. All in all, some men too sometimes share this nature, but not as predominantly as women. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 5:11pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
sekxy:You see it as an individual thing right? And trust me I know guys can be that too. |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 5:17pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
IamZod:exactly |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by ibkayee(f): 5:23pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
You gave heartbreak as an example for women and a platonic relationship example for guys. People tend to invest more in romantic relationships, it's not unsual for someone who has been heartbroken to not get over it as quickly as they would a friend so it's not really a fair comparison. I'd say both genders can 'keep a grudge' as long as each other when it comes to heartbreak, as for platonic relationships, women are socialised to be more passive aggresive/speak on their feelings etc more than men which is why we may appear to dwell on things. Men don't necessarily 'forgive' or 'don't pay attention to ill feelings', they do and are just as emotional but since they aren't encouraged to show it/dwell they either talk it out immediately or go on killing sprees etc |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 5:32pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Very true females are less forgiving I remember cheating on a female I was asking out with her best friend in 2009, till date she hasn't forgiven me it was her best friend that owned up about what she told her friend I just could not phantom why this chic that I would speak to endlessly on the fone wouldn't take my call any longer. On Friday I ran into her at a grill, she still had that frown and even though I was at a distance a friend of mine kept asking about the frown that the female from across the table had, she still won't pick my calls to date, but it's been too long, Loretta move on, forgive and forget I know I hurt you |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 5:33pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Piiko:Clap for yourself. |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 5:39pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Nma27:
|
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 5:41pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Because it is in their nature |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:19pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Speaking for myself .. I think I'm pretty forgiving the only time I never let go if it's got to 3 counts of fuckery even if I forgive just know it will never be the same .. ( but that hurt will be a constant reminder no to Bleep with such fuckery ) most women in general never forget things Guys tend to brush it over .. [/quote] OK, so I can summarize he point by saying, that ladies tend not to easily let go because the hurt would be a constant reminder as at not to give a Bleep again. Am I right? |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Lalas247(f): 6:23pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
IamZod:Yessir |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:26pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Men don't necessarily 'forgive' or 'don't pay attention to ill feelings', they do and are just as emotional but since they aren't encouraged to show it/dwell they either talk it out immediately or go on killing sprees etc [/quote] 'Killing sprees you say, now this is terrifying . Are you trying to say that men since men don't really express thier emotions, they become vengeful? But women too can be vengeful? |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:33pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Splinz:so in other words, it mainly has to do with their nature. |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:38pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Piiko:Hmmm., this is deep. Did she agree to your proposal before you slept with her friend.. But you bad sha o. Lol |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:41pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
IamZod:No she didn't she was busy forming hard to get her friend met me and liked me instantly she's married with a kid now I liked adventures when I was younger |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Victornezzar: 6:53pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
When will u pple be creating threads on how to make money while dating |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:54pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Cos holding on gives strength to carry on with resolve and no distractions. |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:55pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Victornezzar:100000 likes these comment |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Victornezzar: 6:56pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
greyboy5000:lol baba owfa na |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 6:59pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Victornezzar:I am OK bro |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Victornezzar: 7:02pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
greyboy5000:Ow ur day waka na |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 7:04pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Op everyone does not feel pain the same way Some will have to deal with it by letting go Others feel it is safe for them to whallow In the pains of their emotions The not letting go of emotions is not peculiar to ladies but I can agree it is more visible among ladies because of their nature Most guys going through such emotions will probably pretend |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 7:05pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Victornezzar:I am OK my bro, how was your day bro |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Victornezzar: 7:07pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
greyboy5000:It went in a kakatwa and splufic mannner my sis be come bk |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 7:08pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Piiko:Hmmm. I guess it wasn't cheating then.. But nevertheless I feel she was hurt because you did it with her friend. But then again who's to blame... She is. |
Re: Why Do Ladies Find It Hard To Let Go Of Past Hurt. by Nobody: 7:09pm On Jul 11, 2017 |
Victornezzar:great day you had their my bro |
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