CrescentMoon:
Understand that I gave myself the ultimatum. I believe I have covered the prayer aspect; wisdom is now a principal thing.

I'm not in any relationship, and the chance of starting one is very slim. This is because I naturally don't attend parties, or places where I can meet people apart from the church. I have three Yoruba traditional wears. That means I have only attended public functions three times as long as I can remember over the years, and these were like family gatherings. In the church, nobody knows me, and I don't wish to be known. This analysis will reveal the reason: If a PhD holder is employed as a cleaner in a school earning a good salary, ensure you watch him often to avert possible suicide someday. If a primary school dropout is given the same job with same salary, he will testify to this in the church. Not that the PhD guy is not thankful to God who at least gave him the gift of life, but he needs the low profile so that devils in God's houses won't add to his emotional woes. My case is like that of a PhD guy.

I'm self-employed. These days, I find it hard leaving the house every morning after waking up without a woman by my side. Advice most people will give is that: 'make money, and see women stumbling upon themselves to have you,' but the problem is that I no longer have the energy to pursue money. If I'm in high spirit, I will make 2.5k daily, but I'm highly demoralized to the extent that once I make 700 naira needed for the day, I would return home to start my orgies of worries.

What do you suggest I do?

Friend, you seem to suffer from some degree of chronic depression. Life can be be depression at times but your depression is beginning to affect your day to day functioning.
You say youve lost the "energy" to make money.
How old are you ?
Why do want to get married now ?

I ask because marriage is the last the very LAST thing you should be planning now.

You are clinically depressed.

You need to sort out your emotions and get a supportive friend who can hold your hand but most importantly, you need treatment.

CrescentMoon:


I didn't grow up here. So I have no friends to go out with. Social life here is restricted to religious gatherings.

Even at that, try to boast up your social life a bit because you're really battling with depression

stevecantrell:


Friend, you seem to suffer from some degree of chronic depression. Life can be be depression at times but your depression is beginning to affect your day to day functioning.
You say youve lost the "energy" to make money.
How old are you ?
Why do want to get married now ?

I ask because marriage is the last the very LAST thing you should be planning now.

You are clinically depressed.

You need to sort out your emotions and get a supportive friend who can hold your hand but most importantly, you need treatment.

I have started some treatments suggested in my other thread. Only headache that goes without using painkillers remaining.

If I need a supportive friend, how do I get that?

CrescentMoon:



I tell you. What Ikp described above.

maybe na gigolo de claim female

CrescentMoon:




I have started some treatments suggested in my other thread. Only headache that goes without using painkillers remaining.

If I need a supportive friend, how do I get that?

You need a woman who understands your predicament. Someone who gets you.
Just dont marry her for now..

CrescentMoon:
Understand that I gave myself the ultimatum. I believe I have covered the prayer aspect; wisdom is now a principal thing.

I'm not in any relationship, and the chance of starting one is very slim. This is because I naturally don't attend parties, or places where I can meet people apart from the church. I have three Yoruba traditional wears. That means I have only attended public functions three times as long as I can remember over the years, and these were like family gatherings. In the church, nobody knows me, and I don't wish to be known. This analysis will reveal the reason: If a PhD holder is employed as a cleaner in a school earning a good salary, ensure you watch him often to avert possible suicide someday. If a primary school dropout is given the same job with same salary, he will testify to this in the church. Not that the PhD guy is not thankful to God who at least gave him the gift of life, but he needs the low profile so that devils in God's houses won't add to his emotional woes. My case is like that of a PhD guy.

I'm self-employed. These days, I find it hard leaving the house every morning after waking up without a woman by my side. Advice most people will give is that: 'make money, and see women stumbling upon themselves to have you,' but the problem is that I no longer have the energy to pursue money. If I'm in high spirit, I will make 2.5k daily, but I'm highly demoralized to the extent that once I make 700 naira needed for the day, I would return home to start my orgies of worries.

I tried dating the [available] girls, but it didn't work... available in the sense that these are girls that don't know what coherent English sentences are.

What do you suggest I do?

You are an introvert would you agree? Maybe slower sinking sinking into a depressive state this can be averted. You have become quite despondent it seems. We can suggest increasing your social activity but this does not come naturally to you.

You are clearly a man who is well read and unfortunately you will encounter many women who are all about them and theirs. Especially if you maintain the same social circles as before.

I could say to you frequent gatherings that have similar like minded people but you will still need to seperate the wheat from the chaff and that takes time.
I am going to suggest something that will be viewed as unorthodox by some. But I have faith you will comprehend my rationale. Look for a woman outside the borders of this country. This will spare you the misrey of being with a woman who will only want you because she views you as means out of a situation.

Unfortunately most women in this country will disappoint you many times over and besides who wants to spend an entire lifetime stuck with a spouse who thinks Condoleeza Rice is a side dish?
Don't marry a Nigerian woman. For the sake of your sanity.

OP, I believe you want a woman. You are lonely and past relationships with girls haven't work. You don't seem to have many opportunities at meeting new girls. Right?

Use social media. Scroll through your Facebook friends list and drop messages on every lady you haven't spoken to before on your list. Start conversations with every of those who reply you and continue to do so till you begin genuine friendship with some of them. I believe you use Facebook. Download other social apps too and try them out. Badoo is an example. Scroll through your contact list on your watsapp and start communication with ladies you either have never spoken to or you rarely communicate with. You will start a relationship in no time.

If the above does not still work, it means you have failed to genuinely try to make it work, you are too choosy or you need more advise.

Nope.

ikp120:
Bro I understand your condition very well. I feel that way at times too because I'm not a social guy. Sometimes I wish I had a girl by me when I wake in the morning.

But then I remember that most of the girls we have these days are so useless that all they care about is what you give them, not even love (don't even think I'm broke. Naaaah, far from it. I see liability from a thousand miles and avoid it). If the guy doesn't give them the material things they want, they make the guy's life so miserable that most times the guy regrets ever talking to them. Most of them think like prostitutes. They think there's a correlation between money and romance which is exactly how prostitutes think (pay as you go). These girls give guys high blood pressure by their lifestyles and ways of thinking.

Don't even think of all those lovey dovey nonsense with yeye Nigerian girls o. No reason am at all. They just came to eat and destroy the little man don gather like say she no get hands to work. Abi the law say make women no dey work ni?

Bros, just save money and buy yourself a sex robot because that one get sense pass the girls we have in Naija these days. Forget girls because they are all about one thing now "money", "money", "money" and "money".

come lemme show you some real Loving.

ikp120:
Bro I understand your condition very well. I feel that way at times too because I'm not a social guy. Sometimes I wish I had a girl by me when I wake in the morning.

But then I remember that most of the girls we have these days are so useless that all they care about is what you give them, not even love (don't even think I'm broke. Naaaah, far from it. I see liability from a thousand miles and avoid it). If the guy doesn't give them the material things they want, they make the guy's life so miserable that most times the guy regrets ever talking to them. Most of them think like prostitutes. They think there's a correlation between money and romance which is exactly how prostitutes think (pay as you go). These girls give guys high blood pressure by their lifestyles and ways of thinking.

Don't even think of all those lovey dovey nonsense with yeye Nigerian girls o. No reason am at all. They just came to eat and destroy the little man don gather like say she no get hands to work. Abi the law say make women no dey work ni?

Bros, just save money and buy yourself a sex robot because that one get sense pass the girls we have in Naija these days. Forget girls because they are all about one thing now "money", "money", "money" and "money".

come lemme show you some real Loving.

MissRaine69:

You are an introvert would you agree? Maybe slower sinking sinking into a depressive state this can be averted. You have become quite despondent it seems. We can suggest increasing your social activity but this does not come naturally to you.

You are clearly a man who is well read and unfortunately you will encounter many women who are all about them and theirs. Especially if you maintain the same social circles as before.

I could say to you frequent gatherings that have similar like minded people but you will still need to seperate the wheat from the chaff and that takes time.
I am going to suggest something that will be viewed as unorthodox by some. But I have faith you will comprehend my rationale. Look for a woman outside the borders of this country. This will spare you the misrey of being with a woman who will only want you because she views you as means out of a situation.

Unfortunately most women in this country will disappoint you many times over and besides who wants to spend an entire lifetime stuck with a spouse who thinks Condoleeza Rice is a side dish?
Don't marry a Nigerian woman. For the sake of your sanity.

Raine, you are truly in the Spirit on the Lord's day (Rev. 1:10). . I have dated many women in which I invested heavily. But the provocation has always been their penchant for material gains, and inability to present superior arguments. Let me give the account of one of such narratives. She likes voice calls, but I prefer chats, emails etc. I told her I couldn't be paying heavily for airtime. She said her phone was bad, and I gave her mine that she coveted. When I bought a different, new, but less sophisticated phone, she said I didn't see her deserving of a new phone. Hers was a female that didn't know the difference between Lollipop and marshmallow android versions. We got over this, and I had to pay for monthly data subscription. I use 1.5gb of data monthly, but within a week, she would say her data are gone. I asked her what could be draining her data, and she took it personal. I found out the day she used my phone while she was in the kitchen: she drained my data watching YouTube videos while cooking. I politely told her not to use my phone to watch YouTube videos again, and pointed out the reason why she always run out of data so soon. Since that she likes videos, I gave her my laptop, and bought movie series I'm sure she won't finish watching in two months even if she stops going to work in a bid to have time for videos, after telling me her favorite series. Then she broke the screen of her phone and asked for replacement. While planning to change the screen, a thief stole my phone, and I bought a new phone immediately. Then she accused me of selfishness since that the matter of replacing her screen came up first before my phone was stolen. Then she left. This was the same girl that would beg me never to leave her during those steamy banging spree.

Now you have to say more about a platonic, distant relationship, and how I can go about it. I have been reading this Romance board for long, and can count up to three monikers that sought such a relationship with you. The same reason why you discountenanced their moves may be the same reason why it may not work for me. Then you may say 'Leave Nigeria' , and I will tell you that I'm stuck here for now--I want to bring Shekau's head on a platter before leaving behind Egypt

cutedidah:




come lemme show you some real Loving.








come lemme show you some real Loving.

Ikp120 now off the search market.

CrescentMoon:


Raine, you are truly in the Spirit on the Lord's day (Rev. 1:10). When I was growing up, prophets told me many times not to think of marrying a Nigerian. I have dated many women in which I invested heavily. But the provocation has always been their penchant for material gains, and inability to present superior arguments. Let me give the account of one of such narratives. She likes voice calls, but I prefer chats, emails etc. I told her I couldn't be paying heavily for airtime. She said her phone was bad, and I gave her mine that she coveted. When I bought a different, new, but less sophisticated phone, she said I didn't see her deserving of a new phone. Hers was a female that didn't know the difference between Lollipop and marshmallow android versions. We got over this, and I had to pay for monthly data subscription. I use 1.5gb of data monthly, but within a week, she would say her data are gone. I asked her what could be draining her data, and she took it personal. I found out the day she used my phone while she was in the kitchen: she drained my data watching YouTube videos while cooking. I politely told her not to use my phone to watch YouTube videos again, and pointed out the reason why she always run out of data so soon. Since that she likes videos, I gave her my laptop, and bought movie series I'm sure she won't finish watching in two months even if she stops going to work in a bid to have time for videos, after telling me her favorite series. Then she broke the screen of her phone and asked for replacement. While planning to change the screen, a thief stole my phone, and I bought a new phone immediately. Then she accused me of selfishness since that the matter of replacing her screen came up first before my phone was stolen. Then she left. This was the same girl that would beg me never to leave her during those steamy banging spree.

Now you have to say more about a platonic, distant relationships, and how I can go about it. I have been reading this Romance board for long, and can count up to three monikers that sought such a relationship with you. The same reason why you discountenanced their moves may be the same reason why it may not work for me. Then you may say 'Leave Nigeria' , and I will tell you that I'm stuck here for now--I want to bring Shekau's head on a platter before leaving behind Egypt

You don't have to leave, there is nothing but yourself stopping you from venturing outside what is familiar to you.

Has it occurred to you that the reason behind the "discountenancing" could be due to incompatibility?
You are the pager of your destiny. As a woman I would not be able to tolerate such women in the first instance and if I had been a man I would be single if I had to deal with the type of females you described that would induce homicidal thoughts in me.

cutedidah:



come lemme show you some real Loving.






come lemme show you some real Loving.

Oya send me PM if you mean it.

CrescentMoon:

Ikp120 now off the search market.

Lol

ikp120:
Oya send me PM if you mean it.

U still dey drag matter for ground. If she no send it on time, send it to her joor

CrescentMoon:


U still dey drag matter for ground. If she no send it on time, send it to her joor

Lolz

Stop being antisocial. Go out and make some friends.

Hmmm Some days r like that bro

MissRaine69:

You don't have to leave, there is nothing but yourself stopping you from venturing outside what is familiar to you.

Has it occurred to you that the reason behind the "discountenancing" could be due to incompatibility?
You are the pager of your destiny. As a woman I would not be able to tolerate such women in the first instance and if I had been a man I would be single if I had to deal with the type of females you described that would induce homicidal thoughts in me.

I took my time to respond to this post. If I say I want to become your friend, one shudder thinks it's a ploy to start with friendship, and change tactics later. And if I start with professing clearly impossible love, I won't make it past nairaland with you, like the others. If I say I have more questions to throw your way, you may say 'throw them here.'

In all, I will do better receiving mails from you.

pelumiadenu:
my friend , love comes when you take your mind off it, there are still good girls. just take your mind off it, picture your life like you are never going to marry, work on your body, try to look good , buy some good new cloths. endevour to always visit shoprite once in a while , save some money and buy a small car, you can get something like 200k on . get another job that will keep you more busy while you make some extra more from it. learn about online marketing, change your church, infact go to different churches every sunday to get new adventures. check list of some free functions or motivational events, check daystar youth program list, there a lot of free events on the island, google is your friend, always get your self busy from monday to sunday. Move closer to God and watch some motivational videos by t.d jakes from youtube. Do everything to stop masturbation, its one of the reason you've not met her yet.

You nailed it bro. Masturbation is the main problem here and I'm glad you quickly sight it even tho he tried to shield it ... I'm still struggling out of mine and I pray God gives me enough strength to resist the urge when it comes knocking.

CrescentMoon:


No vex nah.

The best place to meet intelligent women should be the cyberspace. If a person types 2 sentences, I will get the idea of what the person is capable of. The problem is that most lonely, intelligent women you see online are not always pretty or independent. The pretty, brained ones are either in an abusive relationship or thinking about who to choose in a myriad of suitors with enviable credentials. So they won't come online with the thought of possibly meeting the right man. I can swear with my life that I have contacts of most intelligent female mokers here outside nairaland. They seem intelligent, but I can assure you that they have no intention of crossing the paths of special men for relationships online.

Also, understand that men that are active and appear intelligent online are either taken, looking for side chicks, or [temporarily] broke. The latter is my case. If a man is highly successful and intelligent, don't expect him to still be searching. He would have gotten a baby mama if wife material remain scarce. I said this because a girl saw greatness in me and started a partial relationship with me. Within 5 months my financial status changed for better and she left all other guys for me. She then asked for marriage or pregnancy immediately. Being a man given to logic, I told her that was too early. Within the next 12 months I had spent more than 300k on her despite having not spent up to 50k on my father in his lifetime. I couldn't break her heart, though I loved her, but logic kept saying "No". Then I did the unimaginable--I resigned at place of work. She thought I was joking and threatened brimstone if I don't rescind the decision. She pleaded with my employer for a grace period till I find my senses, having linked this to hypnosis. Still, I became adamant. Then I started feeling the pangs of joblessness, and she left after exactly 7 months. Why am I so confident? I have a sure tactic of recovery. Hardly will you see a man doing extremely well that is not in a serious or baby mama relationship except those whose jobs prevent them from the public eye - soldiers working inside a submarine, officials in some prison facilities like Guatenamo Bay or successful men living abroad and are hell-bent on marrying their tribe's women. There are also some 'money-miss-road' dudes that are searching who usually end up with frustrated gold-diggers, as most pretty, intelligent women usually don't settle for such.

Hmm you've said it all..

FortuneTeller:
Why would you want a woman to suffer with you? Why would you want your children to suffer? This is wicked. You should seek out women who come from wealthy families, so that you do not frustrate some poor lady. Be honest with the woman about your business and finances, so you are not thrown away later. It's possible her family will help you obtain better employment

CrescentMoon:


I took my time to respond to this post. If I say I want to become your friend, one shudder thinks it's a ploy to start with friendship, and change tactics later. And if I start with professing clearly impossible love, I won't make it past nairaland with you, like the others. If I say I have more questions to throw your way, you may say 'throw them here.'

In all, I will do better receiving mails from you.

It's difficult to gage intentions and sincerity on this forum. I am weary of stalkers, posers and the downright weird. I have had my fair share of all three so I am sure you can understand my apprehension regarding this. I don't suffer fools but I am very cautious.

MissRaine69:

It's difficult to gage intentions and sincerity on this forum. I am weary of stalkers, posers and the downright weird. I have had my fair share of all three so I am sure you can understand my apprehension regarding this. I don't suffer fools but I am very cautious.

Since this is a Nigerian forum, it's a no-brainer to be wary of those peddling romance, its tortuous trajectory and bric-a-brac. You are this sought after because you come off as a seemingly indifferent woman, and it's our nature to seek that which proves unavailable. Even Makoko slum in Lagos -- that grey-black sludge that passes for a lagoon water -- attracts tourists from across the globe. You may consider using 'lols, lwkmd' and we will let you be.

RSVP:

The op has now admitted to suffering from depression. He wants to saddle a woman with his poverty and mental illness. That is wickedness.

FortuneTeller:


It doesn't mean those people want to be in that position nor is it best for their children. When you marry, you will realize how foolish your thinking is. Let a wealthier man come along and snatch your wife's time due to poverty. You will rethink this nonsense. I personally know a guy who took this same course you are considering. If he doesn't end in a hospital due to stress and depression, I would be surprised. The world is changing and so are women. You should think wisely.

Sadly, you have a myopic thinking. To you, money is everything.

FortuneTeller:
Why would you want a woman to suffer with you? Why would you want your children to suffer? This is wicked. You should seek out women who come from wealthy families, so that you do not frustrate some poor lady. Be honest with the woman about your business and finances, so you are not thrown away later. It's possible her family will help you obtain better employment

Why not do a simple calculation before you reply the OP, he said he makes at least #2,500 per day, let's say he works 25 days in a month (2500*25=62,500) that's to say he is making above 50,000 a month which is more than the starting salary of some firms, instead of saying a lady will suffer with him you can advice him to safe for some months then invest in another business to boost his monthly income, if all a lady sees before marrying a guy is money and not how productive the guy is then I am scared the lady might be making a big mistake, what if after marrying the guy things change financially due to economic policies, sickness or the guy is been implicated at work and he was sacked will you divorce him and marry another? because wealth is nothing but a mere visitor it's stays permanently in some places and visit some places for a while, the best thing is to fix the money on something important when it comes so that if the unexpected happened one will have something to fall back on (invest in productive business and most importantly human asset "money will finish, car will get spoilt someday, house might get burn or even collapse but human investment is what will always come back to rescue you) out of every ten (10) people you help I am sure one (1) will definitely come to your rescue when you are facing the storm of life.

jay7:


Why not do a simple calculation before you reply the OP, he said he makes at least #2,500 per day, let's say he works 25 days in a month (2500*25=62,500) that's to say he is making above 50,000 a month which is more than the starting salary of some firms, instead of saying a lady will suffer with him you can advice him to safe for some months then invest in another business to boost his monthly income, if all a lady sees before marrying a guy is money and not how productive the guy is then I am scared the lady might be making a big mistake, what if after marrying the guy things change financially due to economic policies, sickness or the guy is been implicated at work and he was sacked will you divorce him and marry another? because wealth is nothing but a mere visitor it's stays permanently in some places and visit some places for a while, the best thing is to fix the money on something important when it comes so that if the unexpected happened one will have something to fall back on (invest in productive business and most importantly human asset "money will finish, car will get spoilt someday, house might get burn or even collapse but human investment is what will always come back to rescue you) out of every ten (10) people you help I am sure one (1) will definitely come to your rescue when you are facing the storm of life.

Don't encourage him on this fool's errand. He has also now revealed he suffers from depression. If he decides to go through with it, I would love to hear from him a year after marriage.

FortuneTeller:


Don't encourage him on this fool's errand. He has also now revealed he suffers from depression. If he decides to go through with it, I would love to hear from him a year after marriage.

It's like you need me to shine on a faceless forum. You keep calling me fool, poverty-stricken... be ready for what awaits you in the nearest future.

CrescentMoon:



It's like you need me to shine on a faceless forum. You keep calling me fool, poverty-stricken... be ready for what awaits you in the nearest future.

I don't believe I've ever called you a fool. I told the other person not to send you on a fool's errand. Whether you believe it or not, I am sincerely and genuinely concerned about what you are trying to do. I have seen so many marriages fail due to what you are attempting to do. Because you suffer from depression, your fate may be worse. It is likely your new wife will leave after she puts to bed. Your exact situation has played out before my eyes time and time again. You won't listen because you cannot see the broader picture. Please contact me a year after your marriage.

1234IKECHhukwu:
Mehn! U have just made my day,everything u just said here is what m putting into practice,m just so lucky to have met ur write up.

Hmmmmm, so guys hustle for girls! Interesting

CrescentMoon:



It's like you need me to shine on a faceless forum. You keep calling me fool, poverty-stricken... be ready for what awaits you in the nearest future.

Dear op the "fools errand" is just a figure of speech just like a "white Elephant project"... See eh, b positive, try and ditch d negative vibes.... Go out and meet people. Don't even think or worry about marriage cos trust me you don't wanna get it wrong which u might if rushed into. You can advertise on the dating and meet up zone too... Who knows