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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. (62418 Views)
Virginity Doesn't Guarantee A Stable Marriage (a Must Read for young ladies) / My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help / My Marriage; A Blessing Or A Curse. Please Advice (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by ITbomb(m): 6:09pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
I was getting tired of reading how the wife was, I decided to scroll up again to how they were during courtship. I saw nothing. The dude was so in love with a beauty 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by blackbeau1(f): 6:09pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
@ Op, you guys need counselling. But first, is she even willing to make the marriage work ? 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Kobicove(m): 6:10pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Be honest...these things didn't just manifest overnight, they have been there all along. You just chose to ignore them cos she was dropping her salary and you were hoping she would change after marriage. News flash!!! People, especially adults who are already set in their ways don't change. I'm afraid you'll either have to bear her the way she is or walk away from the marriage...it's your call! 4 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Fkforyou(m): 6:10pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Ok |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by OkoYibo: 6:11pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Na wa o, this is serious 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by selfmadeboss: 6:13pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
its normal with biafran and ipob women. try getting an afonja. omg i just forgot afonja own even bad pass. mmm try the aboki women,,,,fuk them sef fit bomb you one day. ok mmm tryyyy.....mmmmmmm..... i am still thinking of who you should try 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Nobody: 6:13pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Those misgivings will come because you are not doing well. There is something I can point out from you post tho. You are being too critical. Dude, leave the woman's attitude and focus on yourself. If she can't walk as fast as you want, don't go with her. If she dey fight with people, wetin concern you? Just do your thing. That is women for you. @ least she isn't cheating. She knows why she resigned. She has supported you. You want her to go to another state and hustle.... come on man. Let her look for a job in that state. Besides, you may not know what she is facing there. I think you are not matured enough really. Just keep hustling brother. Finances are a very important aspect of marriage, you need to keep your head up. Focus more on yourself and leave her for now. Forget talking to families or pastors either for now. 5 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by LoveJesus87(m): 6:17pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Op Se ur wife get ukwu? |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by nefertitiram: 6:17pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
All these things you are going through are normal things in every marriage. There is nothing new under the sun. You both are immature , you need time to grow and understand each other. Seek marriage counselling. Your wife needs to guard her tongue, only someone she respects can advise her. Also pray to God to bless your hustle. Na money cause all this bullsht. If you were a multimillionaire now, she won't talk to you anyhow. 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Nobody: 6:17pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Papiikush: People never reveal their true selves in relationships. I'm sure you don't, too; neither do I. OP you will know what your best option is soon enough. No opinion here on Nairaland. or elsewhere should influence your decision. |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Nobody: 6:18pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
[quote author=Bluestreams post=58525343][/quote] I am sorry, i feel bad each time i hear of issues like this... you guys didn't bond well before marriage... all of these have to do with bonding issues...You both need to find where you last bonded and work on one another, but one thing i've observed is, your wife didn't get good training... |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by CoCoLav(f): 6:18pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
OP, the only issue is your lack of finance. Women dont enjoy poverty, it takes the grace of God to meet a woman who will stay with you in penury and I think that was in the days of our mothers. These days, with social media, you are easily able to see where your mates are and you start comparing yourselves with them and wondering if you made a mistake. Make money and your wife will respect you again. Living from hand to mouth is making her lose the love she once had for you. Nothing kills love in marriage faster than poverty. 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by icon8: 6:20pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Bluestreams: Bad guy! 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Odunharry(m): 6:20pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Oh lord.. |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by AnaCheks(m): 6:20pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Bluestreams:Things I read about some marriages make me wanna be a monk.... Ayam really scared. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Abdgafarplenty(m): 6:20pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
When a man choose wrong, everything seems wrong. wrong home, wrong job, wrong kids, wrong life, wrong family. May God give us our missing rib make we find. 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by morereb10: 6:21pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
time to go then |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by jjjjj2017: 6:22pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
@op, @Prognose have said it all, there's no 100% perfect woman anywhere on earth although everything has limit. |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by thestevens: 6:23pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
although I'm not married yet but I can see clearly from your narration that your wife is still a young woman and lack certain home training, I will advice you see a counselor first before involving any other third party. 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by cristianisraeli: 6:23pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
some nigerian women can frustrate the life of men..they are always too violent and big headed..dont ask me how i know..try dating girls from other african countries u will understand what i mean..guys you need to branch out..nigerian women love money too much and once u stop providing..it would be hell on earth and they can abuse..i swear and they will hit you..u can never tell anigerian woman sit here and she will sit..i will never marry a nigerian woman,yes am nigerian and no i wont marry a white woman as well..i swear i can marry a woman from zimbabwe..as long as shes not green white green 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Nobody: 6:23pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
She didn't show any of these bad attitudes during courtship Op don enter one chance. @Bluestreams better keep calm, don't allow ur village ppple use her to up your B.P Be cool 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by EbolaParasite: 6:23pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Bluestreams: |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Nobody: 6:24pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Men will always have a way to paint their wives bad and look like saints when they are actually the ones maltreating women and cheating. OP must be the cause of the wife's problem and the cause of his broken home. He should stop crying like a menstruating woman on NL and go and solve his problems. Nonsense. 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Nobody: 6:25pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
kam sorry for u blue..i knw u aint financially stablle bt yya wife should understand and help u out..and for her naging am sure she inherited it from her father. If am u i will meeet the olld man face to face table what she is doing and telll her hw her lazy daughter chose to sppend all d day watchingg tv while u wrrk ya a** out. Let her find a job nd blue u aint financially broke joor u are goood to go iif ur lazy wife helps...call a family meeting bothh party and sayy it infrooont of them..ffoorggeet wetin dem ggoo tallk .she noww dey gossip cos of nnt going ttoo wwrk 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by MadCow1: 6:26pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Bluestreams: I have questions.. Please bear with me. 1. How long did you two court. 2. What attracted you to her and what virtue did you see in her that made you believe you could spend the rest of your life with her. 3. When you married her without a clear means of income, what was your plan to provide for the family? Did you two discuss this fact and what was your agreement? 4. What are the things she complains the most about.. Think hard. 5. Does your wife still have a job or is she fired? 6. If you are planning on sending her away, what about your child? What are your plans for the child? 7. How much involvement does either of your families have in your marriage? Do you guys go report each other often to your folks when there is an issue? 4 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by columbus007(m): 6:26pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
The purpose of getting married it's to be more happier both in ups and down,but our ladies chooses only the ups leaving the down,OP,this what I call marriage slavery,if I were you I will be the one to flee cos I can get angry and do the things I wouldn't want. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Nobody: 6:26pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
You entered the wrong bus. You were going to Ikorodu from Maryland but mistakenly entered the one going to Badagry, The sooner you let her go, or you go, the sooner you can start putting your life back together. Encourage her to leave already but make sure you support your child. 5 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Toks2008(m): 6:27pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Bluestreams: Bro honestly no marriage is perfect so work on yours....it's your cross...carry it. |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Gloriousgee: 6:27pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
[quote author=Prognose post=58525244] I read the whole thing. You're not alone bro. The problems you're having is the same kind of problems married people have at this stage of their marriage. This is the setting limits stage. This is where you both draw the line on things you can tolerate and things you won't allow no matter what. This is the stage where you show the kind of man you are and your wife will likewise adapt as a woman. Your problem is nothing out of the ordinary that others in these phase of marriage have experienced. You didn't see all these flaws in her initially because you were deeply in love with her then. You may have even noticed some of these things but pushed them aside. But now the euphoria of love have gone and both of you are seeing yourselves live and direct. It's not a new thing bros, trust me. So she nags. Almost all women nag, some nag worse than others. It is kind of your job to be patient with her as the man. Pls try and control your temper, this is what will make you matured and will separate u from being a boy. When she shouts and talks ceaselessly find a way to leave the environment or ignore her, depending on the type u can do. Over time she will learn to control herself. Her controlling herself and reducing her nagging and your not getting enraged to be slapping her shows that you are both coming of age in the marriage and are understanding each other and becoming mature. Do you want her to go back to her job? Remember she is pregnant (for the first time) and in a delicate and scared state. She is quite vulnerable right now with the changes going on in her body. Your job at this time is to be as supportive as you can. I don't mean you should become her slave but try and give her more rope when she misbehaves. It gets worse at three to six months of age and then she should start returning back to normal. Set a boundary for her father. The fact that he has cut the phone on you once is enough to piss you off. He's not married to her, you are. If he calls again tell him politely that this is your family and you have your own plans for your wife. If you don't have the mind to do this then u can just ignore him instead. This is your wife now, he should stop butting in. Find a job for her to do, no matter how little. Also don't give up on yourself. Every married couple went through this stage, it is those that come out of it that last. If you break up now, what's to say in your next marriage u won't break up again at the first sign of difficulty. Your a postgraduate man, you should be more mature and patient bro. Find an older married couple you can talk to for advice. Not online o. A respectable married couple or couples preferably from the generation before ours let them tell you what they've been through themselves. Marriage is hard work and the more work you put into it the sweeter it becomes. Cheers bro. U av jst said it all dear. Tanx 4 helpin a broda! I read the whole thing. You're not alone bro. The problems you're having is the same kind of problems married people have at this stage of their marriage. This is the setting limits stage. This is where you both draw the line on things you can tolerate and things you won't allow no matter what. This is the stage where you show the kind of man you are and your wife will likewise adapt as a woman. Your problem is nothing out of the ordinary that others in these phase of marriage have experienced. You didn't see all these flaws in her initially because you were deeply in love with her then. You may have even noticed some of these things but pushed them aside. But now the euphoria of love have gone and both of you are seeing yourselves live and direct. It's not a new thing bros, trust me. So she nags. Almost all women nag, some nag worse than others. It is kind of your job to be patient with her as the man. Pls try and control your temper, this is what will make you matured and will separate u from being a boy. When she shouts and talks ceaselessly find a way to leave the environment or ignore her, depending on the type u can do. Over time she will learn to control herself. Her controlling herself and reducing her nagging and your not getting enraged to be slapping her shows that you are both coming of age in the marriage and are understanding each other and becoming mature. Do you want her to go back to her job? Remember she is pregnant (for the first time) and in a delicate and scared state. She is quite vulnerable right now with the changes going on in her body. Your job at this time is to be as supportive as you can. I don't mean you should become her slave but try and give her more rope when she misbehaves. It gets worse at three to six months of age and then she should start returning back to normal. Set a boundary for her father. The fact that he has cut the phone on you once is enough to piss you off. He's not 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by adewumiopeyemi(m): 6:27pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
It will be better to take her back to her family to sting a warning to her wether she may change....divorce is not the best option think twice bro.. God bless ur union... |
Re: My Marriage - A Sinking Ship. by Ezekielezekiel: 6:28pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
Firstly , apart from going to Church ...Do u two ever pray as a Family? Do you still do those things that made her fall in love with you ? Do you make her feel that your Mum comes first before her ? Do you think she is being too selfish or she is just lazy and won't change as you have said ? Do you think you are sincerely making sure your marriage works? Do you know that divorce is serious business especially when there are children or a child involved ? Are u sure you are not too temperamental and she is also trying to have a voice? Do you think she feels cheated and only wants to get solace from Family,Friends and neighbours ? Don't you think 3rd party intervention (Family and friends ) could be a reason for your troubles ? Do you think there is nothing you can do at all to save your home ? Your wife ? Your Son and yourself ...... Answer this questions sincerely ....make out time to see the positive side of your wife ...show her love even when she shows you hate , tell her sweet tins when she expects nagging and encourage her/assist her to start a business or something to assist d house...don't tik marring anoder wife is d best solution ..no one is ever free from vices ...change your mindset ...and after all this if you are still sure you married d devil ...divorce her 1 Like |
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