Prognose:


I read the whole thing.
You're not alone bro. The problems you're having is the same kind of problems married people have at this stage of their marriage. This is the setting limits stage. This is where you both draw the line on things you can tolerate and things you won't allow no matter what. This is the stage where you show the kind of man you are and your wife will likewise adapt as a woman. Your problem is nothing out of the ordinary that others in these phase of marriage have experienced.


You didn't see all these flaws in her initially because you were deeply in love with her then. You may have even noticed some of these things but pushed them aside. But now the euphoria of love have gone and both of you are seeing yourselves live and direct. It's not a new thing bros, trust me.

So she nags. Almost all women nag, some nag worse than others. It is kind of your job to be patient with her as the man. Pls try and control your temper, this is what will make you matured and will separate u from being a boy. When she shouts and talks ceaselessly find a way to leave the environment or ignore her, depending on the type u can do. Over time she will learn to control herself.
Her controlling herself and reducing her nagging and your not getting enraged to be slapping her shows that you are both coming of age in the marriage and are understanding each other and becoming mature.


Do you want her to go back to her job? Remember she is pregnant (for the first time) and in a delicate and scared state. She is quite vulnerable right now with the changes going on in her body. Your job at this time is to be as supportive as you can. I don't mean you should become her slave but try and give her more rope when she misbehaves. It gets worse at three to six months of age and then she should start returning back to normal.

Set a boundary for her father. The fact that he has cut the phone on you once is enough to piss you off. He's not married to her, you are. If he calls again tell him politely that this is your family and you have your own plans for your wife. If you don't have the mind to do this then u can just ignore him instead. This is your wife now, he should stop butting in.

Find a job for her to do, no matter how little. Also don't give up on yourself. Every married couple went through this stage, it is those that come out of it that last. If you break up now, what's to say in your next marriage u won't break up again at the first sign of difficulty. Your a postgraduate man, you should be more mature and patient bro.

Find an older married couple you can talk to for advice. Not online o. A respectable married couple or couples preferably from the generation before ours let them tell you what they've been through themselves. Marriage is hard work and the more work you put into it the sweeter it becomes.

Cheers bro.

You said everything I wanted to say. I have nothing more to say. Bluestream,. Here is your answer. Lastly, don't ditch your marriage so soon. The first two to three years in a marriage are the most difficult. If you can weather it, then you are almost there. It's well bro. Keep your hustle going on and release all the grudges from ur mind

Before I can advise.... I need to have the family secrets... you need to spit them out right now.

99.9% men are going through such. Good u opened up & i pray u get solution here.

Dude, having a little kid gives the whole thing a new dimension. Please do not have another kid yet.

Because as in most modern marriage troubles, money is the root of it.

Are you ready to make it work? If yes, then identify what you can do better. Correct your own faults.

Then have a genuine talk with her. Find out what she expects. How she sees things with you in the next 2 years, 5 years, 10 years.

Then state your expectations from her. In a calm way. Tell her every family has issues. And spilling family secret to others is disrespecting own family.

Both of you are now just being yourselves. The veil has falling. Actually better to be oneself, pretty or ugly. It now a supremacy battle. It needs not be. You're both complementary, not boss/servant thing.

At least you can know each other's flaws now, work on them & accept those you cannot change.

If she has an aunt or uncle she's fond of, involve that person with her consent. She might heed his/her counsel.
Separating temporarily should be last resort. You might enjoy your new freedom so much and not even want her back again. She likewise. But what about your son??

Keep working hard. Get an economic uplift.

Persevere. It is your home to save. If you feel constantly driven towards violence, then perhaps time to reconsider things. Sadly.

firstly bro, i want u 2 remove from ur small mind that u want 2 divorce ur wife...u shouldnt jst because its d easy way out...u r already married now, so dats no longer an option 4 u or ur wife...

its time 4 u 2 man-up bro!...u need 2 decide how u really want ur marriage to become...marriage is all about HARDWORK!...4get d cake n jollof rice n wedding activities...marriage is beyond all dat

one little advice i can share with u now is to study books on marriage, how to make marriage work 4 example!...

d mistake dis our generation make is dat they can study books to pass a common 100% exam...but will hardly open any book on marriage!...dats strange!...

i can bet neither u nor ur wife read a page on marriage let alone book...yes counselor will help with advice, but any true knowledge u acquire when u study marriage books cannot be 4gotten...

change ur vibe to a positive one 2day...u will see ur wife will change hers to match with urs too...jst try it 2nite!...

I love ur family God bless u..

Bluestreams:
Profile: 10yrs old Nlander, Postgrad, 32yrs old, 2 yrs old in marriage with a 1yr old son.

Pls kindly read patiently and advice me if I am wrong and also what to do if my spouse is the problem. Thanks.

I got married as the first child out of two and my family (mother) really supported me financially. At this time, I didnt have any salary job neither do I have any contracts running as I do pest control and landscaping services and other small legal hustles. I met my wife who is a civil servant and we fell inlove and I never hid my financial or employment status from her. Shortly before my wedding (I was also job hunting for a better job) I got an interview in a top oil and gas firm in the country by insider recommendation, and being the only one invited I felt I've gotten it. My fiancé started telling her sibs that I'm already a staff which I frowned at because I've not received any appointment letter. This she was doing in "faith" anyway. Subsequently, I was never called for that job again and by this time we were already married. Prior to this time, I got a slightly less than 50k job in a bank and after a few months my fiancé pressed me to resign athough that job was stressful and in another state where I neither had family nor friends.

We got married then the issues began.
I noticed my wife is the type of woman thats slow (I'll not use the word lazy). She cant keep up with my pace when we walk, she can't clean the house daily, she'll prefer I do the house chores while she watches tv and all. We were in honey moon so I didn't have a problem with that, and more over I enjoy such chores and I am a good cook. By this time her salary was dropping and we were living on it coupled with whatever income that comes from me from my business (my wife isn't stingy with her funds and neither am I).

Our problems started when she became pregnant just a months after wedding. She became super slow due to the preggy and I had to do like every every due to the initial sickness and all. Also, I noticed my wife doesn't know how to talk to people. She isnt rude or insolent but she can argue blindly and just keeps talking. She talks too much and doesn't know how to ignore things. She will say she likes speaking her mind, even though I adviced her that she will have lots of enemies by that lifestyle.

My parents live in the same town with me but hers are in the village. If things gets a bit rough I do visit the family shop and pick things on credit and pay later. This happens only when I'm low on budget.

After our honey moon, my wife refused to go back to work (her station is in another state) although she has been complaining that she doesn't like the job (her father helped secure it). Since she couldnt travel she kept calling the offixe and they were still paying her, only for some of her seniors whom she isn't in good terms with write against her and her salary stopped coming in. By this time I had to up my game and started husting harder. God another low paying job which didn't last and I continued with my biz. I lost the job because of lateness due to taking care of a pregnant wife and so on. In fact I lost 2 other jobs of same nature and wasn't bothered because they pay was very poor anyway.

When my wife put to birth, my mother (as hers is late) asked her to stay at our family house for a week,so she can look after her because I was still working at this time and my mother's business and other engagements is just around the house, my wife refused. Infact its not the refusal that touched me but the attitude she put up. Shortly after then I needed to relocate to a new aprtment and asked her to go over to the family house with the baby so I can move things which she did and the outcome of that visit was a heated quarrel with my mother. She accused her of telling my church members not to visit her after childbirth (my house is very far from the church) and even though it was a lie and I told her to shut up she kept on talking so many trash.

At home I cant talk to my wife and she keeps quiet. The will tell me to shut up to my face and one one occasion I landed her a small slap which left an eye bloodshot and this ended the shutup episode. Often times, if I talk she will raise her voice.

Four months after my wedding her father called me sounding angry and asking me why my wife is still with me, why she hadn't gone back to the state where she works, I overlooked. Some months back late last year, he repeated the same thing and even dropped the phone on me and just a week ago it happened again. My wife have refused to go back to work saying she will rather start a particular type of biz (which I'm trying to setup for her) but her family is talking behind my back all manner of absurd things.

My wife and I have been having our own bouts due to her attitude. I don't talk to neighbours again as she confided in one and laid bare exclusive family secrets and they had a quarrel and in front of my landlord, my neighbour spilled the beans and I felt so ashamed. My wife's salary has been stopped for over a year now and I have been solely the bread winner. I even got a car recently and uses it for transport to support other income.

My wife can nag about everything, she can wake me by 3am over petty things so I stopped sleeping in our bedroom and now sleeps in the guest room. If she's angry she'll not wash plates I eat with. This is someone I always wash her clothes and my with the machine since I married her. But she can hardly do same. If she cleans the house its favour and she'll keep murmuring. If we have an argument she'll start shouting, abusing my whole family and stuff.

This morning we had a quarrel and my wife told me I cant even take care of my family to provide for her, talking how she's leaving (she always tells me she'll leave and I've made it clear I'll gladly wait for that day).

I have been thinking about everything myself, since I married things have not really improved. Maybe I really made a wrong choice or rushed things (as I now believe), so I am planning on sending her away soon and them take me dad and kinsmen to her father (as is the culture in my place) for him to either caution his daughter or take her back because I might really injure her out of anger one day.

This is my last effort to save this marriage . I have only slapped her once in 2 yrs.
I feel I should seek matured advice from experienced people here as I know I might be right in my own eyes.
I really don't know what else to do.

PS: I'll answer any questions you might ask me. Forgive any typo. Thanks.

You created a new moniker to post this?

So you are ashamed of using your true ID

So what is the difference between you and your wife

Evening don reach make we go drink garri

[b][/b][i][/i]THIS PERSON HAS THE SAME CHARACTER AS YOUR WIFE IF YOU LOOK INTO HER LIFE VERY WELL. BY THEIR ACTS WE SHALL KNOW THEM. PLEASE NEGLECT THIS HER COMMENT AND LISTEN TO OTHER'S.
QUOTE ME AND I WILL RELEASE 11 PICTURES THAT PROVES WHAT I SAID. THANKS

Evaberry:
you are a MAn who is wicked and selfish

just because she refused to become your slave you tag her lazy.. you don't deserve her.
you even slapped her yet she didn't leave you.



you complain too much!!!!

your marriage palava is not our business or wahala.
.
we didn't fuvk her with you!!!!

Bluestreams:
Profile: 10yrs old Nlander, Postgrad, 32yrs old, 2 yrs old in marriage with a 1yr old son.

Pls kindly read patiently and advice me if I am wrong and also what to do if my spouse is the problem. Thanks.

I got married as the first child out of two and my family (mother) really supported me financially. At this time, I didnt have any salary job neither do I have any contracts running as I do pest control and landscaping services and other small legal hustles. I met my wife who is a civil servant and we fell inlove and I never hid my financial or employment status from her. Shortly before my wedding (I was also job hunting for a better job) I got an interview in a top oil and gas firm in the country by insider recommendation, and being the only one invited I felt I've gotten it. My fiancé started telling her sibs that I'm already a staff which I frowned at because I've not received any appointment letter. This she was doing in "faith" anyway. Subsequently, I was never called for that job again and by this time we were already married. Prior to this time, I got a slightly less than 50k job in a bank and after a few months my fiancé pressed me to resign athough that job was stressful and in another state where I neither had family nor friends.

We got married then the issues began.
I noticed my wife is the type of woman thats slow (I'll not use the word lazy). She cant keep up with my pace when we walk, she can't clean the house daily, she'll prefer I do the house chores while she watches tv and all. We were in honey moon so I didn't have a problem with that, and more over I enjoy such chores and I am a good cook. By this time her salary was dropping and we were living on it coupled with whatever income that comes from me from my business (my wife isn't stingy with her funds and neither am I).

Our problems started when she became pregnant just a months after wedding. She became super slow due to the preggy and I had to do like every every due to the initial sickness and all. Also, I noticed my wife doesn't know how to talk to people. She isnt rude or insolent but she can argue blindly and just keeps talking. She talks too much and doesn't know how to ignore things. She will say she likes speaking her mind, even though I adviced her that she will have lots of enemies by that lifestyle.

My parents live in the same town with me but hers are in the village. If things gets a bit rough I do visit the family shop and pick things on credit and pay later. This happens only when I'm low on budget.

After our honey moon, my wife refused to go back to work (her station is in another state) although she has been complaining that she doesn't like the job (her father helped secure it). Since she couldnt travel she kept calling the offixe and they were still paying her, only for some of her seniors whom she isn't in good terms with write against her and her salary stopped coming in. By this time I had to up my game and started husting harder. God another low paying job which didn't last and I continued with my biz. I lost the job because of lateness due to taking care of a pregnant wife and so on. In fact I lost 2 other jobs of same nature and wasn't bothered because they pay was very poor anyway.

When my wife put to birth, my mother (as hers is late) asked her to stay at our family house for a week,so she can look after her because I was still working at this time and my mother's business and other engagements is just around the house, my wife refused. Infact its not the refusal that touched me but the attitude she put up. Shortly after then I needed to relocate to a new aprtment and asked her to go over to the family house with the baby so I can move things which she did and the outcome of that visit was a heated quarrel with my mother. She accused her of telling my church members not to visit her after childbirth (my house is very far from the church) and even though it was a lie and I told her to shut up she kept on talking so many trash.

At home I cant talk to my wife and she keeps quiet. The will tell me to shut up to my face and one one occasion I landed her a small slap which left an eye bloodshot and this ended the shutup episode. Often times, if I talk she will raise her voice.

Four months after my wedding her father called me sounding angry and asking me why my wife is still with me, why she hadn't gone back to the state where she works, I overlooked. Some months back late last year, he repeated the same thing and even dropped the phone on me and just a week ago it happened again. My wife have refused to go back to work saying she will rather start a particular type of biz (which I'm trying to setup for her) but her family is talking behind my back all manner of absurd things.

My wife and I have been having our own bouts due to her attitude. I don't talk to neighbours again as she confided in one and laid bare exclusive family secrets and they had a quarrel and in front of my landlord, my neighbour spilled the beans and I felt so ashamed. My wife's salary has been stopped for over a year now and I have been solely the bread winner. I even got a car recently and uses it for transport to support other income.

My wife can nag about everything, she can wake me by 3am over petty things so I stopped sleeping in our bedroom and now sleeps in the guest room. If she's angry she'll not wash plates I eat with. This is someone I always wash her clothes and my with the machine since I married her. But she can hardly do same. If she cleans the house its favour and she'll keep murmuring. If we have an argument she'll start shouting, abusing my whole family and stuff.

This morning we had a quarrel and my wife told me I cant even take care of my family to provide for her, talking how she's leaving (she always tells me she'll leave and I've made it clear I'll gladly wait for that day).

I have been thinking about everything myself, since I married things have not really improved. Maybe I really made a wrong choice or rushed things (as I now believe), so I am planning on sending her away soon and them take me dad and kinsmen to her father (as is the culture in my place) for him to either caution his daughter or take her back because I might really injure her out of anger one day.

This is my last effort to save this marriage . I have only slapped her once in 2 yrs.
I feel I should seek matured advice from experienced people here as I know I might be right in my own eyes.
I really don't know what else to do.

PS: I'll answer any questions you might ask me. Forgive any typo. Thanks.

you married a black devil and reaping it!

my advise for you is to send that black biitch outa ya house and employ new biitches!


always wonder why good guys fall for this kind of biitches!


BLACK TRUTH! NEVER MARRY A BLACK WOMAN AND TREAT HER LIKE A QUEEN! TREAT THEM LIKE SOME KIND OF PIECE OF SHIIT AND YOU WILL HAVE A REST OF MIND.


those who have hear should listen to the wise ape

When I emphasize the need for proper courtship folks think it is a joke. They prefer live fire exercises and story telling before a judge. A broken courtship is a hundred times better than a broken marraige. Ten months of proper courtship will position you for ten years of marraige for the deeper the foundation the higher the aspiration and the stronger will the resistance be to the elements. If you don't want to appear before Igando magistrate do the needful. All the things the poor chap has elucidated are standard courtship prerequisites of which if they had been discussed, agreed and apended to in black and white will not be an issue today.

blessingee:


Gentry and Churchill full everywhere o

na there see finish dey pass enta marriage.

Nma27:
His story too pain me too. Some ladies can fk up. I'm not a saint but I'm reasonable being who hate stress and also hate telling people my good news until its final. I'm sure a winchy blocked the op's oil and gas job because of her loud mouth.. No disrespect intended @op.. Just saying

the guy is doing well and he is weigh down by her attitude .let her contribute and due to her staying at home ..soon she will turn to num one gossiper for str.the last thing i hate in this world is when i share mua secret with outsiders.what was she thinking when she spilled it... It willl be used against her in future

goingape1:
you married a black devil and reaping it!

my advise for you is to send that black biitch outa ya house and employ new biitches!


always wonder why good guys fall for this kind of biitches!


BLACK TRUTH! NEVER MARRY A BLACK WOMAN AND TREAT HER LIKE A QUEEN! TREAT THEM LIKE SOME KIND OF PIECE OF SHIIT AND YOU WILL HAVE A REST OF MIND.


those who have hear should listen to the wise ape

You need to check your sanity and stop disrespecting black women. You obviously either don't have a black mother and sisters or you don't have respect for the women in your family. Don't project your personal failure or family failure on other's. Be guided and grow up. Or better, get mental help.

Evaberry:
you are a MAn who is wicked and selfish

just because she refused to become your slave you tag her lazy.. you don't deserve her.
you even slapped her yet she didn't leave you.



you complain too much!!!!

your marriage palava is not our business or wahala.
.
we didn't fuvk her with you!!!!

the devil is among women!

OP, The root of the matter is money. Solve the money issue and all will be well. Goodluck.


And pls if you cant endure anymore, its better you return her to her father's house because if you stay together, you will give her more than slap very soon.

Firstly, your marriage IS NOT PECULIAR. I mean, urs is not d only one experiencimg thia kind of marital issues.
I am almost 10 in my marriage, & i already have several kids, wt my first kid over 7 yrs & in Prim 3. So, i think I've had a little bit experience in marriage to say one or two piece of advice.

Bro, u must LEARN to be patient with women. Especially, newly married women. They act like kids if theyre the type that gor married at a young age - they lack appreciation of what marriage is. I'm not judging but speaking out of what i've seen.
Also, your marriage is STILL INFANTILE so dont rush DIVORCE, pls. Boy/Girlfriend relationship isn't same as marriage relationship. You both need to BE PATIENT WITH EACHOTHER & concentrate your love on your first child & LEARN. Learn what youll say! Pls speak to your wife about the need for bothering of you to learn ABOUT EACHOTHER: each Weaknesses & Strengths - and COMPLEMENT eachother in every single opposite way. Meaning if ypur wife is weak, be her strength in that area; & if every area she's strong in, develop it more by encouraging words & complements, etc.
See, someone once told me when my marriage was less than 5 years, that it requires about 5 years for a marriage to mature to the point of couples tolerating eachother. Truly, now some of the things i used to do tht irka my wife, she now tolerates, & vice versa.
ALWAYS LEARN A MORE DIPLOMATIC OR WISE WAYS OF TELLING HER ABOUT HER WEAKNESS & HOW SHE SHLD IMPROVE ON IT.
This takes tact, but i must encourage you both to be faith pursuers, therefore, praying together.
If you are a Christian, then I'd say: build your home on the foundation of Christ.
1) Always pray together holding hands, morning & before bed
2) Always call eachother pet names, no real name calling
3) Always discuss issues together intoto (boosts communication)
4) Always make sure YPU DONT INVOLVE 3rd PARTIES TO YOUR ISSUES, U CANT WASH YOUR DIRTY LINEN IN THE PUBLIC (it'll backfire later on & ull both regret it). Dont forget YOU'RE TEAM, NOT ENEMIES.
5) Anyday you querel in the day, encourage making up by initiating Love making at night ( Morning shld not meet u in strife )
6) Strive hard to meet your family needs, give her gifts, buy her surprise Suya, Iced cream, goodies, etc. Women love gifts, & the giver too. DEVELOP A PRINCIPLE OF NEVER COLLECTING FROM YOUR WIFE, not all women are considerate in evaluating your situation. A MAN'S PRIDE IS TAKING GOOD CARE & PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY. God will always give you if you're wont to giving his treasure entrusted in your domain.
7) PLAY TOGETHER, DINE OUTSIDE ONCE IN A WHILE, PLAY EASY GAMES AT HOME, VISIT FOLKS TOGETHER, WATCH PROGRAMS TOGETHER : bottomline, do things TOGETHER, it strengthens relationship & makes u miss eachother when separated.
FINALLY, BE REAL GOOD FRIENDS TO EACHOTHER. DON'T SEEK FOR A WIFE IN HER, SEEK FOR A FRIEND. YOU'LL FIND IT EASIER TO TOLERATE A FRIENDS SHIT THAN A WIFE S. FRIENDS LAST LONGER. AFTERALL YOU STARTED AS FRIENDS.
May God pour a new wine on your marriage & give it a freah zest of life & light.
Amen.

Evaberry:
you are a MAn who is wicked and selfish

just because she refused to become your slave you tag her lazy.. you don't deserve her.
you even slapped her yet she didn't leave you.



you complain too much!!!!

your marriage palava is not our business or wahala.
.
we didn't fuvk her with you!!!!

keep d damn pit of hell rotten mouth shut, d level of ur stupidity render me speechless and next time, just try to insert brain b4 u comment here !!!!!nitwit

alexanderkings:
the guy is doing well and he is weigh down by her attitude .let her contribute and due to her staying at home ..soon she will turn to num one gossiper for str.the last thing i hate in this world is when i share mua secret with outsiders.what was she thinking when she spilled it... It willl be used against her in future

I think she disrespects him cos he doesn't have much and she pays d bills too... Its a blessing to get a lady that won't disrespect a man when he's financially down and can't seem to provide to his family. Giving "some" Ladies part of the financial burden is the License to Disrespect ...

baby124:

You need to check your sanity and stop disrespecting black women. You obviously either don't have a black mother and sisters or you don't have respect for the women in your family. Don't project your personal failure or family failure on other's. Be guided and grow up. Or better, get mental help.

come and check my brain since you know who have a mental problem or not


do black women respect themselves?
if them respect themselves things will be going smoothly, for example check your family and yourself, you can find that you are sick in the head and your family is an example of personal failure.

my advise for you is that you keep your smelly mouth to yourself.


have a nice day

The faults were there to be seen during courtship; it's either u weren't observant enough, or u chose to overlook them. I had enough time to court my wife b4 we got married; I knew her strenghts and weaknesses when it comes to house works (She loves washing and cleaning but detest cooking). I weighed it all and realized I could live with that. She never insulted me for one day all through our courtship and knows I hate confrontation to a large extent. Till today, she has not as much as raised her voice nor confront me.

Now that you are halfway into the ditch already, you have to imbibe the principle of damage control. But your last paragraph is rather discouraging as it sounds like u have already given up on the marriage which is bad. I know U must have tried most of the suggestions given already on this thread like having a heart-to-heart chat with her and informing her parents.

I don't know how much u can tolerate else I would have asked you to tolerate her, concentrate on yourself and get a better job irrespective of the distance from home. Don't sacrifice your career for that marriage nor family again. When u get a good paying job, u will realise that 80%of these issues will die a natural death

You need a war room in ur house


i recommend you see these movies before you take further advice
1 war room 2 fire proof

Your wife is a very nonsense woman.
Beat the hell out of her.

goingape1:
come and check my brain since you know who have a mental problem or not


do black women respect themselves?
if them respect themselves things will be going smoothly, for example check your family and yourself, you can find that you are sick in the head and your family is an example of personal failure.

my advise for you is that you keep your smelly mouth to yourself.


have a nice day

You are frustrated and obviously going ape. No black womab will ever give such a low life like you the time of day. That is why you are here typing nonsense. Probably and obese low life loser. Nuisance

Nma27:
I think she disrespects him cos he doesn't have much and she pays d bills too... Its a blessing to get a lady that won't disrespect a man when he's financially down and can't seem to provide to his family. Giving "some" Ladies part of the financial burden is the License to Disrespect ...

true talk nma. I was surprise cos u didnt support ya felloow woman. Keepp it up misss mma .

repogirl:
OP, The root of the matter is money. Solve the money issue and all will be well. Goodluck.


And pls if you cant endure anymore, its better you return her to her father's house because if you stay together, you will give her more than slap very soon.

so he should go and kidnap or do ritual to solve the money issue

why are ya all women self-centered?

so you are indirectly telling us that you can't love someone without money?

black women , black women black women mentality!


I only pity those who keep marrying ya!

WiredLeggings:
how did you not see all of these during your courtship?

When you're in courtship for short period a woman can pretend to be heavenly, when u're in courtship with them for long a year/over &see bad behaviors eventually, u're hooked for life the world would say u wanna run stay & tolerate, meanwhile there are some attitudes that can be tolerated but some u just have to run from.

##poster Look for someone she respects a married elderly person so both of u can communicate. Make sure it's someone who wont pick sides

Dear OP,

Your marriage is very rosy, because the issues you described here are non-issues to mature minds. It becomes a different kettle of fish when demons are involved, but clearly here, it is just the circumstances which you never expected and ofcourse your wife is an excellent woman. Do not allow anyone to tell you that your wife is bad, she is a fantastic woman and I will state my points.

First off, you did not pay attention to the signs. She rejoiced and told friends that you got a job at oil company when you didn't. That was when you guys accelerated the marriage, not really because that job was going to come or not, but because she expected that you will finally land a job on that echelon. So, my guy, you are just overreacting because you have worked damn hard and your wife is not seeing it, so you think. Hell no, she sees it, she knows your efforts and she is tired. She is tired of everything. She is tired that life has become struggle for her and she never bargained for this.

Secondly, you mentioned that she is not secretive. You married a saint, and you want to make a devil out of her. You want to make sure family secrets stay secret, but she is not the type to cover things up. That is not a vice, this is a great truthful woman.

Thirdly, you said she talks a lot. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. This woman is tired, it is too much for her. Talking is therapeutic to her. Do not accuse her of nagging, it is the only way women know how to vent their frustration.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO;
Disband your ego, and become emotionless. This is very tough but not impossible to disable the flight-fight mechanism of the sub-conscious mind. Learn not to allow yourself to get excited or upset at impulse. Certain psychedelia were created to help people manage emotions. You can research on the ones that are healthy for you.

Like I said, this is what marriage is all about. The union of unique individuals working out life. Do not run away, life is not sexy, this is what life means.

baby124:

You are frustrated and obviously going ape. No black womab will ever give such a low life like you the time of day. That is why you are here typing nonsense. Probably and obese low life loser. Nuisance

low life! but low life guys will be phucking and deceiving ya!


well! a lowlife guy like me who is financially OK caring will never be seen by ya black women!

no wonder we lowlife guys are dating a foreigners who see value in us (lowlife guy as you may say) and the highlife black women will be suffering from highlife men.


something is wrong with you!

Pele

Evaberry:
you are a MAn who is wicked and selfish

just because she refused to become your slave you tag her lazy.. you don't deserve her.
you even slapped her yet she didn't leave you.



you complain too much!!!!

your marriage palava is not our business or wahala.
.
we didn't fuvk her with you!!!!

May God help your future husband cuz he's gonna be living in bondage!

EntMirror:


Third.. You're wife phlegmatic sanguine while you are melachonic.. These two personality traits are incompatible as long as marriage is concerned.

Phlegmatic sanguine ko, melancholic ni. U decoded their temperaments from the write up bah? Or u knw dem personally?

Experts everywhere

The beginning of marriages are like this. Tough times never last but tough people do. This just training. You guys are young and will succeed. Don't give up.

Most beautiful married women you see everyday are just like your wife. Outside you think they are angels. Only their husband's can give you the true picture.

This is marriage. And you have to make it work. When she leaves, you'll realize how much you love her. There is no woman without a fault. Nagging and talking and gossiping is a feminine thing. Just hold on. Tease her when she tells you she wants to leave...tell her you will follow her to the end of the world.

Tell her you love her and this too shall pass. After 5 years, things must change. You both will understand yourselves more and do things together. Its too soon to quite. Don't ever quite. Marriage is like going to school, you don't quite when things become difficult. You persever.

You've come, seen, then make sure you conquer. Lack of patience and availability of money and options is the reason for quick breakup. You have come this far, don't let her go. Both of you or you alone should take some time to fast and pray. Seek the face of God and destroy every root of disunity and confusion around your marriage. Something has to make you pray and become stronger and this is it.

Don't give up
Keep up the fight

Remember you have a son. Don't destroy his life.

Read your write up and I would like to point out some things.. Was she so outspoken before you married her cause from what you wrote that's the major issue you have with her or did she become outspoken after you got married, when a couple isn't financially buoyant you start seeing each others fault, you wrote you got married when you didn't have a job, that means she must really love you.

She quitting her job doesn't mean she is lazy,maybe she doesn't want to be away from you, insecurities and stuff, since you said it's in another state am married to a military man and I know the toll it takes on a marriage.
To live with an in law is not easy, goes both ways

Her talking with the neighbor might have been taken out of context, she might have needed someone to talk to at that point in time and the wrong neighbour came at the right time, sometimes you just want to offload things from your chest and you don't want it to be with a family member.

Don't let anyone mess with your mind, to take care of a child isn't easy, it's like you are zeroing only on her flaws, she must have some good qualities. Appreciate those...work it out, I wish you the very best, please don't let it all fall apart.