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組織標籤 根據地 團體簡述

I felt to laughter, when Chin Siu told me 又名SK，起於東亞FFA。比較出名的成員是GUMI，其餘成員很少出現。

It all happened to me in China.

QueenOfNepal:
The Lies on this thread will basically come from Romancelanders

R3m0t3C0ntr01:
Which one I go talk oooooo
okay!
I was in 100 level in my Hostel in the campus when, on a Saturday, arsenal was playing against Chelsea.
While the match was on, na so NEPA take light.
It was in year 2009.
So as Nepa take light, most people comot from the common room, go back to their rooms to wait for light.
About 10 minutes later, na so Nepa bring light back.
Oboi! come see race from everywhere for that hostel as boys and men begin run back to that common room.
Me Don already start to cook for my room, so I no fit join them run.
But one of my roommates was around that day, he was sleeping with his boxers on. The guy doesn't watch football at all.
From inside sleep, as the sound of running footsteps hit the guy like this, he just stand from bed like say Na Jazz, as he stand, na so he run comot from room o, begin run with those boys like mad man.
From where I hold spoon, dey turn food, I wan laff tire cos the guy no dey watch ball, he no know why people dey run, yet he just dey tear race.
Lol! anyway, after he reach the common room, come see say it was football that actually made those boys run, not fire or any other emergency, na so my roommate begin come back to room.
if u see as the guy face don tight ehn! the guy dooon veeeeex. He just dey curse those boys under his breath.
me just dey wait for am, I wan fall for laughter that day.
When the other roommates come and I tell them the story, dem laff tire too.
Oga Dessy, wherever you are today, maybe even reading this, I greet you brother!

Ginaz:
I can remember vividly, got to be in S.S1. When my grandpa asked us to throw away the trash, I and my cousin forgot. When we wanted to sleep, he came outside locked the door and said we won't enter until we throw the trash from his compound.

We shared the dirts ,no cheating on a flat rubber bowl and off we went. Now there is this thing with my eyes, when it is night time and the moonlight is shining on a face of water I will think it is sand. I can't seem to differentiate between a sand and water at night time (up till now o, this one pass night blindness)

As we were returning home, I saw white sand before me. My cousin said it was water, I said no, it was sand. I stepped in and wow, right into a soak- away!!!

With my newly bought shoes!!

I was saved by sheer shock and a strong will to survive as I quickly jumped out with the help of my cousin. My body was dipping with people's excrements, smelling like poo and shiit.

Got home, took a bath, slept off with all the anger the world.


*******

The one an okada rider did nko? Fell me into a muddy water in the middle of the market. My school uniform wet all over. Funny thing he ran away.

What a shallow soakaway

adonbilivit:
To be honest, it was when I was about 8. Had a crush on this girl then, wanted to be with her and would always go stand by the tree close to her house just so I could be seeing her. We lived in the same neighborhood for over 10 years and I never talked to her nor touched her. Her name was Aisha and I am a flattino. So, as a flattino that's married to an afonja, it cracks me up whenever i reminisce on falling for an aboki

MrDickman:
Mine was when I was In secondary school. Boarding house.

Me and my partner victor will sneak to the back of girls hostel and to their dump yard looking for used sanitary pads

Then we be like na Bolu go get this one , #No bolu never fit start to dey menstruate na Laide Go get am # Laide sef still be small girl na precious e go be..

Until one day we were caught . The rest was history. Never seen old victor since then. So many years down the line now. I miss that dude die



2. Still in secondary school I asked a girl in class if she was a virgin. The idiot headed straight like a raging bull into the staff room to report. I was severely dealt to the extent my niggas had to use balm to massage my ass for me in the hostel later that night. No exagerration, I received more than 500 strokes of cane from diffrent teachers that day.


3. Thirdly I was about 23 yrs of age that year. I defaecated on my body. I was suffering from dirrheoa. NYSC camp Adamawa. There was no money so I had to depend on camp food to survive. I later regretted it. It happened during parade. As I ran straight towards the dorm the soldiers were confused as to what was chasing me and ran after me. When they saw my condition they pitied me and even help me get water

ExpensiveG:
As I dey travel from LAGOS to ENUGU, omoh !!! I buy LACASERA and GALA
I come meet wan fine gal inside our bus, as I dey talk to dey gal, make I use style collect her number. Me and dey gal dey gist about states wey we don visit.


Big boy like me, I come dey tell her say, have you been to OBUDU, TROPICANA, Le MERIDIAN.....etc, she was like OMG

Make I throw my LACASERA bottle through Window, I come mistakenly through my PHONE for inside bush. Dey gal come tell me say, *won't you tell dey driver to stop*. Don't worry about it, I'll get a new one. No be bcuz of my phone, I go make passengers vex with driver, wer I wan even start to look for dey phone even though I tell driver make him stop.


Dey thing wey come pain me be say, I no even collect dey gal number...

Narldon:

majorbravo:
Mine was when I was still a freshman, there was this guy who was getting roasted in a "yabbing" contest. Dude literarily cried and left, told us he will be back. He came back the next day with one skinny dude in baggy clothes and told us, with gleeful eyes, that this dude would skin us alive with his yabs.

Now Keycan(not his real name) was our serial 'yabbist' and has been itching for a worthy competitor for sometime. Immediately he saw the skinny dude, he didnt even wait for an introduction and lauched his attack with the most hilarious yab I ever heard: "Who be this guy? See as you be like skeleton wey person just throw skin on top like bedspread". That was it, show was over!


Update: I have had a laugh remembering good ol days, found this thread as well: https://www.nairaland.com/1556745/yab-yab-yab-childhood-yabbing. It cracks me up everytime

teelaw4life:
This happened back in 2010, Asipa, moro in Osun state. It was during my pre degree program. First time living alone without supervision from any authority. So, i and 2 other hostel mates of mine decided to go visit some girls in their hostel. We got to their hostel around 8 pm and we were all having a wonderful time. Before we knew what was happening, it was 10:45 pm. Now, anybody who knows rural Osun very well will tell you that any time from 10pm is as good as 12 am. So, we step out of the girl's room with a big cooler of food and just as the last of us laid his feet on the last flight of stairs, about 3 vigilantes just showed up with their Dane guns and ridiculously bright torchlight. The girls who wanted to see us off before were ordered back upstairs while we were led to the main road and asked to kneel. Accusations started flying that we were rapists and robbers. That was where i started begging, crying and making silly promises not to ever talk to or visit any girl in my life. My other niggas were so cool and calm even when the vigilantes threatened to shoot. All i could do was imagine what the headline would be like, "Three pre-degree students shot dead by vigilante ". Long story short, they whipped our asses so hard until 12 am before asking us to take them to our hostel. We did and fortunately, our fellow hostel mates identified us.
The miracle of this story however, was that all through the ordeal, the cooler of rice remained in perfect condition. We ended up eating it and everyone laughed at me for being a pussy not knowing i have a phobia for guns.

ExpensiveG:
As I dey travel from LAGOS to ENUGU, omoh !!! I buy LACASERA and GALA
I come meet wan fine gal inside our bus, as I dey talk to dey gal, make I use style collect her number. Me and dey gal dey gist about states wey we don visit.


Big boy like me, I come dey tell her say, have you been to OBUDU, TROPICANA, Le MERIDIAN.....etc, she was like OMG

Make I throw my LACASERA bottle through Window, I come mistakenly through my PHONE for inside bush. Dey gal come tell me say, *won't you tell dey driver to stop*. Don't worry about it, I'll get a new one. No be bcuz of my phone, I go make passengers vex with driver, wer I wan even start to look for dey phone even though I tell driver make him stop.


Dey thing wey come pain me be say, I no even collect dey gal number...

davillian:
I remember d day we went swimming @ the jeti opposite American embassy in v/island as a kid.
My friend Henry was drawing and his younger bro oshole was screaming "Henry dey swim"

EntMirror:
Mine happened 4 years ago, just finished driving school and was cruzing with my New ride. I was jejely playing one psquare song and all of a sudden, it feels as though there was an earthquake.. I look at the side mirror and behold, Dangote trailer was coming behind me with full speed. The horn of that trailer nearly made me to jump out of my skin.. The rest is history anyway.. Just that I didn't drive till after a month later..

RSVP:
I was in primary 2 when these happened. E b like say rain fall overnight and my sisters forgot my school uniform outside and it was totally wet so I had to went to school on mofty.. Omo me sef no understand why I was in mofty cuz I dey small and I just dey happy say I put on my aso odun with one fine canvass join.. Na so I dey bounce go school. And we dey always believe say anybody wey come school on mofty dey do birthday ni as cabin biscuits dey 100% sure to share. Na so my class teacher think say dat day na my bday ooo.. Me sef jzt dey comport as dem sing B-Day song for me I no fit deny. I just dey der dey form big boi..break time reach to share cabin biscuit nothing to show... I chop cane dat day nobi small..i still dey remember till today. Thanks to Aunty Christiana for E. M. Kinderland nursery & primary school somewhere in Ibadan.

BENEAMATA:
Hello to everyone on NAIRALAND!!!ESPECIALLY to all the beauties on here that are the african ladies,to you i say........IT'S MY FIRST TIME(POST),SO PLS BE GENTLE!!LOL! As far as mine own experience goes growing up it has to be those days we'll show up late at the rent a bike shop(why do kids get back late always?)and get one half of our footwear seized every frigging time.and why didn't we ever think of keeping our footwears somewhere some sixty or hundred meters from the bicycle shop still beats me till today.KIDS!

BENEAMATA:
Hello to everyone on NAIRALAND!!!ESPECIALLY to all the beauties on here that are the african ladies,to you i say........IT'S MY FIRST TIME(POST),SO PLS BE GENTLE!!LOL! As far as mine own experience goes growing up it has to be those days we'll show up late at the rent a bike shop(why do kids get back late always?)and get one half of our footwear seized every frigging time.and why didn't we ever think of keeping our footwears somewhere some sixty or hundred meters from the bicycle shop still beats me till today.KIDS!