HOW ARGUMENTS RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
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POSTED BY: LOVEFACTORY

An argument is something that is inevitable in most relationships inasmuch as it builds a relationship and makes partners grow stronger and bound more, if not checked properly can ruin the relationship and leave you to heart broken. Below are 5 ways arguments can ruin a relationship.


# Stop arguing to convince people

You might be right, but arguing isn’t a great way to convince people. Why? Because if they’re defensive and angry, they’ll be unable to hear you. People are like radio transmitters when it comes to communication. They are either set to ‘receive’ or ‘transmit’. This is known as ‘a waste of time’.

Solution

Find a safer time when they are not emotional to drive your point they will offer more audience, and also do it in a manner and place where you do not attract attention.


# Don’t argue about the past

If partners are having arguments about something that happened at a friend’s party 2 hours ago and then suddenly she says that is how you insulted me in 2013 and then he says that’s how you left me stranded in 2010 at the park and so on, then you know something is wrong.

Solution

Apologize when either of you is wrong and move on don’t keep hurt in your hearts as it can really be toxic to your relationship. Constantly going back to stuff someone ‘did wrong’ weeks, months, or years before is toxic. What’s done is done apologize and move on.


# Victim and the aggressor

One person plays the aggressor and the other the victim.

E.g you’re always so mean to me! I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this!” “Well, if you weren’t so pathetic, maybe this wouldn’t happen!”

Solution

Rather than put yourself in the position of the aggressor or victim go to the root cause of the issue and address it by simply asking some vital questions about the matter at hand or suggesting you visit a marriage counselor if the issue persists.

“When the victim says, ‘It’s nothing to do with me, it’s always you who decides,’ rather than the aggressor yelling, ‘Well, that’s because you won’t take any responsibility!’ they should try, ‘I don’t want to be the one who always makes the decisions — can we find a compromise so we’re both involved?'”


# Defensiveness

When you feel under attack, you become defensive, protecting yourself from criticism by refusing to take any responsibility for the issue instead of facing the root cause of the issue you will rather attack in an attempt to fight back. An example of such statement “You never spend time with the children!” “I always look after them when you go out with your friends. If anyone is a bad parent, it’s definitely you!”

Solution:

Instead of the above statement, you can rather say something like I would love it if you stayed home sometimes to help take care of the children they loved it the last time you did. Or try saying, “Why don’t you take the kids to the pool on the weekend? They’re always talking about how much fun it was last time”.


# Stop taking it to heart

Lastly argumentative people tend to take things personally, even when they certainly weren’t intended that way. This leads to a breakdown in communication. If someone is very critical then either they have never learned a better way of communicating or they are so angry that they are over-generalizing out of control. Either way, it’s their problem.

Solution

Don’t take things too personal arguments happen it will pass and the emotions and anger you feel at that moment will pass. So be careful the words you utter and don’t ruin your relationship in an attempt to protect your ego.



culled: LOVE and LOVE FACTORY on [url]palmchatnow.com[/url]

Nice write up

Teewhy2:
Nice write up

I agree.. it's intend a great article.. .. Had to share..

True talk especially the taking argument to heart part, if human beings were God eh, I no no wetin we for do.

Rorachy:
True talk especially the taking argument to heart part,

if human beings were God eh

, I no no wetin we for do.

im - no go there oohhh - the world for don scatter patapata