By TonyeBarcanista



I normally don't pay attention to subjects that disparages people, but a recent trend I observed on on social media platforms (even on Palmchat) motivated this piece.

I have read comments and articles targeted at mocking young men trying to find their feet so as to live normal lives as humans. These comments and articles were either authored by fellow men that are naturally expected to understand the challenges of surviving in a modern Nigerian society or young ladies that should understand the struggles faced by their brothers, fathers and other male relatives.

To start with, that a young man is broke doesn't make him less a human. It shouldn't stop him from living his life, falling in love, starting a relationship and even get married to the one he loves.

Some have opined that a man must first be successful or enjoy relative success before approaching a lady that his heart yearns for under the guise of "every lady desires a comfortable life". Sadly, people with this line of thought forget that even the "broke" young man also desires a life of comfort even though the circumstance he finds himself may prevent him from enjoying such life in the Interim (I added "interim" because no condition is permanent).

My dear brothers, people may tag you poor and broke due to your incumbent financial and social standing but never allow it dampen your spirit. Never allow your present situation demean your zeal nor make you feel less of a man. As much as you strive for the big thing, do not despise that little thing that is capable of adding value to your life no matter how "degrading" it may appear. Always remember that Dr. Samuel Ortom, the Executive Governor of Benue state was once a bus conductor at Gboko motor park in Benue state, from which he graduated to being a commercial bus driver and later personal driver of a prominent man. It didn't stop him from rising to become salesman and sales manager of a food company. It never stopped him from becoming a local government chairman, minister of the federation and now governor of his state. Please my brothers, never despise that little trade or menial job.

Never allow yourself to be forced into frustration, crimes and other social vices. Instead of whining on your bed over negative words, please pick up a skill or learn a trade so as to erk a living for yourself. There is nothing more dignifying than engaging in legitimate venture in order to be productive. There is dignity in labour.

Never allow anyone to look down on you due to your financial state in your time of struggle. Keep up the struggle, always remember that "NO ONE KNOWS TOMORROW".

If you are fortunate to have a lady that is willing to stand by you even in your state, please cherish her, make her happy and work extra hard so as to give her the life of her dreams. Never settle for just any girl nor allow yourself to be a backup plan. Only ladies that add value to your life by motivating you, sharing ideas with you, challenging you and praying for you are worth your heart.

Please, don't forget to pray to God for wisdom and guidance always. I'm sure one day your story will change for the better and those who laugh at you today will celebrate tomorrow.



May God Bless You, Bless Your Struggle and Bless Nigeria

I love it where you made the point "Instead of whinning, pls pick up a skill or learn a trade"
that was part of the points I raised yesterday and they wanted to crucify me.
Many Men are regretting their marriage because they were not Financially stable before taking a Wife and the hardship is taking toll on them, thats why some of them have prematured gray hairs due to hardship.
Even if the wife is working, the man will still feel the burden.
-
And to all hardworking guys out there, May God bless your hustling.

Park here

Don't mind some of these stüpid persons that would just wake up from the comfort of a bed bought by another person, and start posting bullshît.


It goes to show you what is wrong with today's world, the monkeys into scams and illicit things are glorified whereas the real hardworking ones are looked down on.

Everyone deserves a shot at a normal life, he's not rich today doesn't mean he won't be in the future.

I will be back

a thread to them brokies..
this is where you are free to vent your frustrations on not on the other thread.....yesterday was so rough that someone had to create a thread to console una..eehyaa,,amarabae you really struck a sword in their heart..hahahah

I think most of you misunderstand what it means to be broke. Being broke means not being financially buoyant enough to take care of yourself and meet your own needs. Based on this definition, I don't see why any broke guy should be in a relationship in the first place.

And all the talk about self confidence and not looking down on yourself when you are broke get as e be. The bitter truth is that financial success is the primary quality to gives a man self confidence. I am not saying it is the only quality but it's the main quality. And it allows a man command respect and draws all kinds of women to him.

So instead of pursuing relationships, men should work towards being financially successful enough to sufficiently take care of themselves at least. This includes being able to feed, cloth and shelter themselves. Trust me, their potential relationships and lives would be a lot more smoother and less stressful.

Nice write up from you Tonye. This remind me of the story how a lady turned down OBJ back then when baba was still struggling not knowing he turned down a great man because of Baba present predicament back then. I used to tell my friends, don't force anyone to believe in your commitments, you don't have to tell any lady about all your life, future aspiration just to convince her to stay with you. Be focus and am sure someday opportunity will surely come around.

If Apostle Suleman wife can stood by him when it's very rough and tough same as Taye Taiwo's wife then I'm sure we still have some good girl outside there.

As for we guys, don't bite the fingers that fed you, never forget your humble beginning when you finally arrive.

Good Morning Nigeria.

I think being broke is now a matter of choice, it's not like the good old days that it was the obligation of the man to look after the family.
These days women are more vocal, and they make us know they don't need our money when they can get theirs.

So I think it's the guys turn to be broke in a relationship and wait for the ladies to bring home the goods

Like one guy once said "ladies are given a pass for being broke, but guys are not"

..
Amarabae come and see what you did to them brokelyn ....lol

What really caught my attention on the piece was 'young man trying to find his feet'.

For me,any young man trying to find his feet that gets discouraged and frustrated by what people think/say needs a hard knock on the head.

If you're trying to find your feet,you should know you'd struggle and it'll take time.There's always pain before gain.But the issue with most people is they think they'd get rich or comfortable in 2 secs.They don't know what hustling means.
They're waiting on miracles that will never happen.Claiming things by faith that will never come to pass forgetting that faith without works is dead.

They think someone maybe a relative like a rich uncle owes them sth they forget that in life nobody owes anyone shixz$.

Believe me no sensible young man trying to find his feet would go into crime.The ones that do crime are the ones that think people owe them sth.The ones that can easily be pushed around.The ones that think some jobs are too demeaning and degrading for them.They see some advices as insults to their personalities. The ones that want it all super smooth and easy.

The smart ones hustle it out.They know there has to be pain before gain.They do those 'demeaning' jobs and at the end you see them succeeding.
One thing is they are always focused.


To all young men out there trying to find your feet,an advice to you.Be focused. You'll make it.Its only a matter of time.

Always remember that Dr. Samuel Ortom, the Executive Governor of Benue state was once a bus conductor at Gboko motor park in Benue state, from which he graduated to being a commercial bus driver and later personal driver of a prominent man.

Ortom must have loved automatic cars.Reason why he had to give Benue people 'ortomatic wheelbarrows'.
Sorry for digressing

Being broke today doesn't means u gon be broke forever, a broke dude can be a rich dude tomorrow.Nobody knows tomorrow.


Every broke guys out there be focus, brace up,work hard and everything gon be fine.

Amarabae:
I love it where you made the point "Instead of whinning, pls pick up a skill or learn a trade"
that was part of the points I raised yesterday and they wanted to crucify me.

sister make we hear word abeg?
You think say all poor guys, no get skills abi dem no dey do business?

No be everybody were dey sell for market dey make profit,

And no be all skilled labourers dey make millions, some are just making enough to survive on



Get real woman, the world is not all black and white,

Even Bible been don talk am say,
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor food to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, but time and chance happen to them all (Ecclesiastes 9, i no remember the verse )

SoftNANA09:
Being broke today doesn't means u gon be broke forever, a broke dude can be a rich dude tomorrow.Nobody knows tomorrow.


Every broke guy out there should be focus, brace up and work hard and everything gon be fine.

I am sorry. I can't help being a nitpick.

SoftNANA09:
Being broke today doesn't means u gon be broke forever, a broke dude can be a rich dude tomorrow.Nobody knows tomorrow.


Every broke guy out there should be focus, brace up and work hard and everything gon be fine.

Exactly!!!

Amarabae:
I love it where you made the point "Instead of whinning, pls pick up a skill or learn a trade"
that was part of the points I raised yesterday and they wanted to crucify me.

Oh really? All you wanted was at least a guy that can afford a 3 bedroom flat, and at least an old Toyota Camry
I see you...

Hope you had a good night.

sekxy:
..

Amarabae come and see what you did to them brokelyn ....lol

Trouble maker. Lols.
Leave them o, before they launch another missile on me.
Hahahaha.
Yesterday was hot.
Make i leave them jare..
Some guys get bad mouth.
May God bless the hardworking guys.

GOTOlodo:


I am sorry. I can't help being a nitpick.

Ok,mr know it all.

I am disappointed that some ladies see the brokenness of a guy as diseases
Even the definition of broke is relative
It means different things to different people
The biggest part is some ladies even had the gut to term a broke guy lazy or rude



But come to think of it, only a broke girl will make a big deal of dating a broke guy

Being broke is a temporary something.

Seems like this broke stuff is the trending topic on nairaland , what I don't understand is the concept of broke , is it too broke to give your girlfriend money ? Some guys might be rich but might not want to give girls money (can mention examples) , so you tag them broke?

sekxy:
..

Amarabae come and see what you did to them brokelyn ....lol

Shut your gutter mouth there! Are you rich yourself? Show us your account balance. Senseless Mofo.

pryme:


Hope you had a good night.

ya. It was a cold night. Have a bright day,dear

SoftNANA09:
Ok,mr know it all.

Is this sarcasm? My username clearly says that I am an Olodo.

Amarabae:
ya. It was a cold night. Have a bright day,dear

Bro, that's someone's wife o. Tread cautiously.

GOTOlodo:


Is this sarcasm? My username clearly says that I am an Olodo.

Dude whatever! Not here for you

SoftNANA09:
Dude whatever! Not here for you

I am not here for you either, DUDE. You aren't fooling anyone with this female moniker, dude.

Amarabae:
I love it where you made the point "Instead of whinning, pls pick up a skill or learn a trade"
that was part of the points I raised yesterday and they wanted to crucify me.
And to all hardworking guys out there, May God bless your hustling.

stop lying...i saw that thread yesterday.

according to you, besides having a job, a man MUST, at least, live in a 3 bedroom apartment and drive a car (even if it's an old one) before thinking of having a girlfriend/wife.

i guess you're not aware how ridiculously stupid you sounded with that statement. and if i ask to know your father's worth before he met your mom you'll say i'm insulting you.

Amarabae:
I love it where you made the point "Instead of whinning, pls pick up a skill or learn a trade"
that was part of the points I raised yesterday and they wanted to crucify me.
And to all hardworking guys out there, May God bless your hustling.

Don't come n do the 'that was part of my point' thing here.. No matter how u try to justify ur writeup, it was more aimed at demeaning guys, making ladies run to only already made guys nd encouraging illegit means..

I chose to be mute on ur thread.. But just so u know, it irks all guys, even ur hubby, the non-broke, those starting their career nd ofcus the broke guys.
Nothing encouraging bout it.

FTrebirth:


stop lying...i saw that thread yesterday.

according to you, besides having a job, a man MUST, at least, live in a 3 bedroom apartment and drive a car (even if it's an old one) before thinking of having a girlfriend/wife.

i guess you're not aware how ridiculously stupid you sounded with that statement. and if i ask to know your father's worth before he met your mom you'll say i'm insulting you.

my dear, that was an estimation to drive home my point, I was not specific.
I said he may not live in a mansion, atleast let him afford a one bedroom flat.
A man should work to be financially balanced so that the burden of heading a family will not be much on him.

There's a girl for every guy no matter the condition. Guys stop looking at the wrong places because you will be frustrated.